Remudamom Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Dh and I saw "The Help" tonight. My mother was raised by the help. I was raised by the help. I adored my "help". When was this movie set? Late 50s??? Early 60s? Just stating ftr, Betty Ruth and I shared a bathroom. She absolutely ruled our home. We all did what she told us to do. And she quit working for us to raise her baby. I guess things in the 70s were really different, and I know they are different now. My sil has a housekeeper that brings her children with her when she wants, and her kids are referred to as cousins. Anyhow, not all of us Southerners are evil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 My grandfather had an affair with "the help", then left my grandmother and married her. It made for interesting family discussions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 My grandfather had an affair with "the help", then left my grandmother and married her. It made for interesting family discussions. Oh my goodness, I'll bet it does! Bless his heart for actually marrying her. My family owned "help", okay, slaves way back when. We have a family plantation that's now a tourist spot. It's a sore spot to discuss nowadays. All I know is that I loved my Betty Ruth, and it's too bad my children couldn't have known her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jentancalann Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 i haven't seen the movie yet, but the book is set in the early 60's. love, love, love that book! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 i haven't seen the movie yet, but the book is set in the early 60's. love, love, love that book! The movie was good too, and stayed pretty close to the book with an exception or two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I have yet to read the book or see the movie, but could not help jump in on this thread. My ma cleaned homes in our tiny rural town. One rich family I recall was a doctor and his wife, a school nurse. Since I was the youngest and not in Kindergarten at the time, I accompanied my mother to clean their home. They were always kind to me. Snacks, toys, and letting me play in their home. Later, as a teen, I cleaned their home on my own. I recall her wanting to give large gifts (we were very poor and my father was a farm laborer at a nearby farm. Our small town had whites and mexicans living in a farming community.) but my ma always said no. One time the dr's wife surprised us by trying to get in her will us living in her home and caring for her husband. That was tempting from a poverty POV, but we declined it. They were very good people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 My grandfather had an affair with "the help", then left my grandmother and married her. It made for interesting family discussions. Now that would be a great book or movie! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 (edited) My former husband's family had a full-time maid for 40 years. She was definitely "the help". What bothered me was that they had no retirement fund set up for her. I thought that was wrong, especially because it wasn't from lack of money. Otherwise, they thought of her as a "member of the family", but only when she was at their house. I often wondered what her life away from them was like -- no one really knew. I discovered it was a line one doesn't cross to ask about it -- from both sides. My mom had a maid when we lived in Montgomery, beginning in 1965. She had already gone home by the time we got home from school. I remember how surprised my German mother was about life in the Southern U.S. My dad was stationed in Germany during most of their marriage to this point. She saw bulletin boards about this large, community family picnic and was so excited for us to go. It was held by the KKK -- an organization she knew nothing about. Luckily, a neighbor told her what it was, and we did not go. Then she found out about the Selma to Montgomery March, which had happened a few months before we moved to Montgomery. She learned quickly, and was appalled about racism, lucky for us. Our maid had trouble adjusting to my mom's ways. It was definitely Not Okay for mom to make lunch for the two of them and then eat at the table with the maid. The neighbors were shocked. The maid was against it, but mom told her either do it her way or starve because this was a ridiculous custom. They had some good conversations over those meals. Meanwhile, at my former husband's house, the maid had a refrigerator drawer which contained food for her to eat. She prepared her own lunch and ate it in the kitchen. She also prepared the family's lunch from different food, and they ate in another room. Mom also had an ironing lady. She would take her basket of ironing to the lady's house and then pick it up when it was ready. I don't think ironing ladies exist any more. Edited September 17, 2011 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Now that would be a great book or movie! ;) This makes me laugh. Totally not pointing fingers or judgement at OP or this poster, but just that on this same forum, last week, several people were screaming that Angelina Jolie was a homewrecker, etc....but in this scenario, it is a great book or movie? Wonder if "grandmother" in this scenario feels the same way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alenee Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I haven't seen the movie but because of this thread, just put the book on hold at the library and saw that I am #224 or 224 holds. :001_huh: Wonder how long it will take to get a copy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 in this scenario, it is a great book or movie? Wonder if "grandmother" in this scenario feels the same way. That IS why it would make a great movie or book!! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 ].[/color] My family owned "help"' date=' okay, slaves way back when. We have a family plantation that's now a tourist spot. It's a sore spot to discuss nowadays. We just visited our old family home. The kids weren't impressed - no air conditioning. All I know is that I loved my Betty Ruth, and it's too bad my children couldn't have known her. My mom had "help" when she was growing up. I never got to meet her, but she was the one everyone went to when they needed hugs, encouragement, etc. She got all the proud kids running to show off their grades. She was loved and loved them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeaganS Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 My grandmother had "help" that mostly raised her. I know that my great-great grandmother was very stand-offish and the "help" mostly raised my grandmother. But given the few stories I've heard about it, it was definitely more like the book/movie than some of the other stories being shared. This was more around the 1940s though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Dh and I saw "The Help" tonight. My mother was raised by the help. I was raised by the help. I adored my "help". When was this movie set? Late 50s??? Early 60s? Just stating ftr, Betty Ruth and I shared a bathroom. She absolutely ruled our home. We all did what she told us to do. And she quit working for us to raise her baby. I guess things in the 70s were really different, and I know they are different now. My sil has a housekeeper that brings her children with her when she wants, and her kids are referred to as cousins. Anyhow, not all of us Southerners are evil. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I did read the book and :iagree: with everything you said above, except my sister doesn't have any help. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Now that would be a great book or movie! ;) Have you seen Corinna, Corinna? It is a great movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Just wanted to thank all of you for sharing your personal stories, both positive and negative. As I read the book and watched the movie (loved both), I was struck by the fact that I was born in 1960 into a middle class West Coast family. My mom did all the housework, cooking, and child-rearing, as did her friends. If I had been born in the South, the norm would have been for her to have "help" to do those things. Now that we live in the South, many friends talk about being raised that way, a lifestyle so foreign to me. Not always bad, just foreign, like the customs of another country. Of course, living here often feels like being in a foreign country! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 I count myself really blessed, since I have a fabulous mom too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 My mom talks very fondly about her Nina. She loved her so much!! I loved the book. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 We have "help" now. She lives with us during the week and goes home on the weekends. She is pretty much the boss around here. :D We love her and she loves us and we do things with her family at her home and at ours. We celebrate holidays and birthdays together. She had a big dinner at her home with both of our families for my birthday last month and it was wonderful! We took her on vacation with us this summer too. It was her first time out of Malaysia. I feel so blessed to have her in our lives. We can't live without her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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