Bang!Zoom! Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 I quit all my socially assigned roles today. I just plain quit. Got that World? I quit. (Is that gonna work?) lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 I quit all my socially assigned roles today. I just plain quit. Got that World? I quit. (Is that gonna work?) lol I think I understand this but seeing as how only half my brain decided to show up for work today :tongue_smilie:, can you please be more specific?:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted September 13, 2011 Author Share Posted September 13, 2011 My oldest daughter is 2600 miles away. She called with bad news from her doctor. She'll be undergoing testing for the next two weeks. ---------------- I always miss my mom during the start of Fall. I get melancholy even if life is great. It was her favorite season. My mom raised a bunch o children..many many many many...some of her own, some not...anyway..I can hear my Mom in my memory saying.. "I can't take one more thing today, I mean it!"...and she wore this particular look on her face that said she meant business. The children would scatter and not come back inside until late at night. We'd watch from the darkened fields outside the house for her bedroom light to shut off in her window. We knew it was okay to come back in then, but very quietly and all. Shoes off before you walked in the door..try not to make any noise..the whole shebang..tip toe..ssh...whatever you do, do not awaken her... --- Now I don't rule the roost here like she did. But man, if I were to up and look in the mirror right now, I'd see her staring back at me in my own reflection..wearing that same look of genuine exasperation. I am so totally there right now. Worrying over my kids is really taking a toll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquinas Academy Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted September 13, 2011 Author Share Posted September 13, 2011 I'm going to set an appt. with my doctor. I am so exhausted, I don't think I've slept right since May. I know me, it's only going to get worse with this newest stressor. I cannot sleep when my kids are sick. Never have been able to. I'm really tired out. We are discussing plane tickets to fly me back home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I hope tomorrow is better. Definetly take time to recharge yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 :grouphug: I think today is a good quitting day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted September 13, 2011 Author Share Posted September 13, 2011 I'm going to have to write a list with my self care on it. 1. Take your vitamins 2. Did you eat properly? blah blah blah I have to do stuff like this when the waters get rough or I won't do it. It's almost funny being a mother to yourself so that you can mother. I just want to publically say that the really good cry I've held in for months, well, she blew today. God I could of won an Emmy or something had it been filmed. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 (edited) Hugs. Edited September 17, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Thanks for being more specific for me even though you were under no obligation to do so. I will SO pray for you! YES, YOU DO NEED SLEEP! I will pray that you get not only sleep but RESTFUL sleep. Have you tried drinking tea with Valerian Root as the first ingredient? Works wonders and is not a synthetic drug! Woot! As for missing your mom, I get that. My dad passed away years ago, but every once in awhile (like the other day!) something will pop up that makes me remember him and miss him SO much. I'm with ya! It's no wonder the hair color industry is so thriving, what with all the grey hairs are kids give us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted September 13, 2011 Author Share Posted September 13, 2011 (edited) I had a good meltdown with my sister on the phone, just bawled like a baby..you know, that kind of weird wailing grief sob women can do...it's scary to hear that sound come out of your body, it really is. It is like total loss of control. She said, "You get to the doctor, like yesterday, you are done for." I told her I'd been sleeping on the living room floor at night with a fan on me, the body tension wakes me up and I sit up, have to stretch myself out, lay back down, wiggle for a bit, sleep (it's not real sleep) for about 10 minutes and I'm awake again. Oh, and the nightmares, the nightsweats are terrible. I'm having memory lapses (I think?) and just feel a physical defeat from the sleep. She asked me to talk to my doctor about menopause, I'm 46. (did I really just have to do the math? lol) anyway, it might be some of that..and just some generalized anxiety from never catching a break for months on end. I'm so accustomed to being a single mother at war with the world (and winning) everyday, that feeling this way is really psychologically uncomfortable and somehow...it feels... shameful I want my mother. Wah. and a teddybear and hot chocolate would be nice too..and some french toast..and a cool washcloth..a fresh rose from someone that loves me..and um...what else... a new white shirt, a pedicure, a salon visit and um...oh heck..how about some candles that smell pretty and um.... lol, you get the idea Oh, I forgot to say I'm going Thursday for a checkup. I'm going to ask them to check my FSH levels if they can. I've only one ovary (no uterus) so I'm thinking it could be related. I am not myself. Edited September 13, 2011 by one*mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Oh, I get the idea. I want my mil so bad. She took such tender care of me when I had a miscarriage , and always seemed to show up at just the right time with fresh baked bread and soup. Such a huge hole in my life. I had a good meltdown with my sister on the phone, just bawled like a baby..you know, that kind of weird wailing grief sob women can do...it's scary to hear that sound come out of your body, it really is. It is like total loss of control. She said, "You get to the doctor, like yesterday, you are done for." I told her I'd been sleeping on the living room floor at night with a fan on me, the body tension wakes me up and I sit up, have to stretch myself out, lay back down, wiggle for a bit, sleep (it's not real sleep) for about 10 minutes and I'm awake again. Oh, and the nightmares, the nightsweats are terrible. I'm having memory lapses (I think?) and just feel a physical defeat from the sleep. She asked me to talk to my doctor about menopause, I'm 46. (did I really just have to do the math? lol) anyway, it might be some of that..and just some generalized anxiety from never catching a break for months on end. I'm so accustomed to being a single mother at war with the world (and winning) everyday, that feeling this way is really psychologically uncomfortable and somehow...it feels... shameful I want my mother. Wah. and a teddybear and hot chocolate would be nice too..and some french toast..and a cool washcloth..a fresh rose from someone that loves me..and um...what else... a new white shirt, a pedicure, a salon visit and um...oh heck..how about some candles that smell pretty and um.... lol, you get the idea Oh, I forgot to say I'm going Thursday for a checkup. I'm going to ask them to check my FSH levels if they can. I've only one ovary (no uterus) so I'm thinking it could be related. I am not myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted September 13, 2011 Author Share Posted September 13, 2011 Oh Good Lord, I have to make someone's dinner. I don't think I can do this. I'm gonna open that fridge and bust into tears all over again, and no one is gonna understand why. I better do it before they get home. lol I haven't picked up my pillow and blanket off the living room floor yet even. I have less an hour to get it together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I'm hoping you get a good rest. Hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyMom Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I tried to quit today. Didn't work well, or last. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 We had take out. Lol, I knew I wasn't up for it. I cannot wait for the appointment on Thursday. I'm taking whatever she's giving out too. No arguing or philosophic babbling. I need knocked out cold period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) Adding more :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: and I really, really miss my mom at times like this. Edited September 14, 2011 by joyofsix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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