When do you let your sons use public bathrooms alone?

[swellmomma]

Interesting. I just think of them as "plumber" vans, since my dh had one for his company in the past. ;)

 

 

See and logically I get that, but after watching way too many made for tv movies as a kid it stuck with me that white cargo vans are "kidnapper" vans. Almost any movie made back then that involved a kidnapper using a van it almost always was a white cargo van.

[FO4UR]

My boys are 8yo and 5yo. I let them go together, but I stand outside the door.

 

There are still places where even my 8yo goes into the womens' restroom. I would not consider allowing my 5yo to go alone at all.

[Acorn]

 

The bad logic that is revealed in these threads is awful. It always seems someone knows someone who experienced an urban legend type bathroom assault. Sorry, but the math doesn't support it.

 

And it's also not supported by the reality of how and by whom children are violated. It is rarely by strangers in a public place. It's usually by known people, people you trust, in familiar supposedly safe places.

 

.

 

While not statistically likely, a bathroom assault did occur near my hometown at an amusement park. The perpetrator was not caught, so I am concerned.

My son will soon reach the age limit for using the Women and Children locker room at our gym. He is not tall enough to use the showers or sinks. I will probably sneak him in until he can demonstrate capability.

[HarbourLights]

With my son we started at 6.5 but I made him check the bathroom to see if anyone was in it. If not he was allowed to go in and I would stand outside the door. He is 10 almost 11 and he can go on his own now. I think that 7-8 is too old to be in the women's bathroom for a little boy. That is just my opinion.

 

 

This is exactly the scenario I follow with my boys... If we are at a public place (say a sport stadium or a busy park) then I automatically default to the ladies restroom where of course I allow them their own stalls and I stand near the entrance. If it's empty when they go in, I stand outside the men's entrance. If a male goes into the restroom, I usually will allow less than a minute to pass before I do the horrible 'shout out' to make it quick, or something like that. My boys just turned 6 in June and I figure I still have a few years of hovering before I'll be completely okay with them handling it 100% on their own.

[Alice]

My 7 yr old always goes to men's restrooms or locker rooms now. I'd say that's been the case for about the past year. Before that it was more situational.

 

I let the 4 yr old go with him if we are all together. I tell them they need to be buddies and stick together. If I'm out alone with the 4 yr old, I bring him to the women's room.

[KidsHappen]

OT: but I still have an irrational fear of white "kidnapper" vans so uncommon or not I am still sure that anyone driving one is up to no good.

 

We have actually had four police reports of people trying to kidnap children in a white cargo vans since we have lived in this house (about 4 years). These reports were dissiminated through the newspapers, neighborhood watch programs and HOAs. Some of these included tv news coverage with video in my neighborhood. About a year ago one of my children told me that they used to think that white vans with the children stickers on the back meant that that person had kidnapped that many children. So while it may be rare, it is not unheard of. :001_huh:

[swellmomma]

We have actually had four police reports of people trying to kidnap children in a white cargo vans since we have lived in this house (about 4 years). These reports were dissiminated through the newspapers, neighborhood watch programs and HOAs. Some of these included tv news coverage with video in my neighborhood. About a year ago one of my children told me that they used to think that white vans with the children stickers on the back meant that that person had kidnapped that many children. So while it may be rare, it is not unheard of. :001_huh:

 

Maybe my fear isn't as irrational as I thought :001_huh:

[jjins]

So... I posted this weekend about how we are careful. WE?? Apparently that is only me!! BECAUSE my DH, whom I love and respect, sent my DS to the restroom alone at a THEME PARK that we were visiting for the first time. We are talking, cannot even see the bathroom door from where we were. He sent him across a courtyard, around a building to the bathroom in the building on the other side of that building.

 

I sat calmly (on the outside) waiting, chatting with DH and DS... stressing on the inside about my precious baby boy (9 1/2) who could get lost or WORSE. After about 5 min DH said, "he should be back already, I am going to check on him" DUH!!!! LOL

 

Anyways, two things. One: DS was fine and not bothered at all to make the trip or by anyone during the trip. Two: DS needed to "sit"... there was only one stall. So, relieved the pressure on his bladder and let us know that he could not wait any longer because "the man in there was taking forever and the bathroom just kept getting stinkier" BAA HAA HA :lol:

 

DH walked him into the next bathroom and waited with him... nothing from he just did it. I guess he got to thinking about what could have happened. Plus, DH was feeling grumpy when he sent DS to the bathroom.

[angela in ohio]

My 9 yo comes in with me still. A boy was r@ped in the restroom of a local video game place/ restaurant by an older teen. And our city library has had its share of exposure issues, both in and out of the restrooms. I also think women's restrooms are cleaner (a fact dh confirms is probably true.)

 

I do also protect him from and train him about problems from acquaintances, but I see no reason to risk problems with strangers in restrooms when there is a perfectly good alternative. The only time we are in a bathroom with other women is when we are at a restaurant, and then dh is with us and takes ds in with him. The rest of the time, we usually have the bathroom to ourselves, anyway. No one has ever said anything, but I train ds to stay in the stall until I come out and call for him, so he isn't standing around leering or anything. :D I find other people's five year old girls climbing under the stalls more annoying than having a boy in the bathroom.

 

If I had two ds, I would let them go together at a younger age. We use the buddy system for many things, but my girls can't buddy with him in the men's room.

Edited September 8, 2011 by angela in ohio

[Shannon in TN]

I haven't read all the replies but at my local gym there is a policy in place that children ages 5 and up have to use the gender appropriate locker room (which also serves as the bathroom on this particular floor). Needless to say, ds comes with me to change when we swim instead of sending him into a locker room on his own.

 

I haven't yet run into a problem with the people who work there but when he was with a pe group and they were headed to the locker rooms, he tried going to the ladies' instead of the men's locker room. :tongue_smilie:

[TravelingChris]

I don't remember at what age I was having my son go by himself (if dad wasn't there) but I know it wasn't anything like 9 or 10. Probably more like 5 or 6 but I don't really remember (he is now 22.5).

 

However, I don't think 9 or 10 year old boys belong in women's restrooms.