Reconsidering Public High School

[AlmiraGulch]

I swore I'd never do it, but my options are a bit limited and I don't know what else to do.

 

I can't home school traditionally anymore. I just can't. My travel schedule at work is getting even more crazy, and my DD15 is NOT self-motivated at all. I simply can't keep up with nagging her all the time about her work, and it seems like that's all I do is nag her about her work. It certainly isn't good for our relationship.

 

I'd decided to send her to an online private school (Keystone) but I've recently experienced a significant negative impact to my income and I just don't see how I can swing it.

 

I considered the online public school, but then it's like I'm subjecting her to all the public school "junk" (education wise, anyway) without any of the perceived "benefits" (the potential to make friends --- she has none, extracurriculars, etc). On the other hand, she'd be getting free school with the ability to continue at her local arts enrichment program she loves (and that I'd be able to afford if I don't have to pay tuition elsewhere) without being subjected to the bullying and awful social environment that were the primary reasons I pulled her out of PS in the first place. The curriculum is K12, which I've read good things about.

 

Also a consideration...she'd likely be behind a year since she doesn't test well and that's what they use to determine placement. Is that awful? I guess it would be if she were in a brick and mortar building, but not in a cyber academy.

 

I have no idea what to do. Maybe if I sent her back she'd have a better experience than she did in middle school. Maybe I'm denying my aspie girl the opportunity to find her niche and make friends by keeping her at home. Or, maybe I'd crush what little self- esteem she's developed while at home the past two years by sending her back.

 

I'm at a loss and I'm too close to it to be rational. Oh....and school starts in a week and a half (public school, that is) so I have about 2 days to figure this out.

 

Please, Hive friends. Help me look at this in the appropriate perspective.

[HoneyFernDotOrg]

Sent you a PM.

 

Edited to add: I would not recommend K12. It's just public school, online, with hoop jumping and busywork. Lots of screen time, very little real interaction with people. JMHO, from experience.

[bettyandbob]

If your dd went to public school, would she be able to do the arts program.

 

Does the arts program provide some social stimulation?

 

Do you have a local disability support group that has opportunities for socializing in a "safe situation". In my area there are support groups for various disabilities and in some of them the parents have set up teen outings and activities as well as playgroups for youngers.

 

If she were in public school would she be labeled for special ed and would being labeled for special ed provide anything helpful.

 

Would she be going to high school with people who bullied her previously and with new people. Usually, by high school kids stop the worst of the bullying behavior. However, while high school bullies don't pick on as many new kids, they do keep up subtle bullying of kids who were previously bullied. I think if your dd is going to a school with different kids, she will have a better chance of success.

 

I don't know your dd's learning profile. My first thought is keep the arts program going and do the online program.

Edited August 3, 2011 by betty

[Pamela H in Texas]

Our experience with K12 Virtual Academy: It was wonderful for us when we did it and I wish I hadn't stopped using it with my son. And if the alternative is public school in person? Public school at home is better, IMO...at least for some kids. But I didn't find it NEARLY as public schoolish as most people describe it (even the VA when they were trying to discourage us because we were veteran homeschoolers --they didn't want us thinking we were just getting free resources and didn't have to follow through).

 

Anyway, if I had the choice, I'd go back now even. In the end, we chose a basic high school program. It is better than nothing and better for my son to be at home, esp considering certain situations. But I wish we had a choice. I wish we had stuck with the VA.

Edited August 3, 2011 by 2J5M9K

[BamaTanya]

We are in the same position -- my work and my teen's personality . . .

We are considering a local private school that claims to cater to the student's individual needs. They use the A Beka curriculum and have teachers to guide and assist with work, but they allow the student to work at his/her own pace. And they're more flexible than the public schools with graduation requirements. School is half-day to allow for student's afternoon responsibilities (some are working to help pay for this option themselves).

Do you have any other educational choices in your area?

Wishing you well!

[Tarreymere]

We did K12 through a public cyber charter in the past, and if my situation changed and became like yours I would not hesitate to go back. Yes, there is a certain amount of hoop jumping and busy work, but it IS free, your dc would be held accountable by someone other than you, and she would still have the advantage of sticking with her arts enrichment program and would NOT have to deal with the negative public school social environment.

[Cinder]

I'd decided to send her to an online private school (Keystone) but I've recently experienced a significant negative impact to my income and I just don't see how I can swing it.

 

I considered the online public school, but then it's like I'm subjecting her to all the public school "junk" (education wise, anyway) without any of the perceived "benefits" (the potential to make friends --- she has none, extracurriculars, etc).

 

Just thinking out loud here, but how are these scenarios different--Keystone vs PS online? I'm not very familiar with Keystone, but wouldn't there be more PS "junk" in person than online? And the online program would enable you to send your dd to enrichment programs that are beneficial to her.

 

I'm sorry to hear you're in such a tough spot. :grouphug:

[AlmiraGulch]

If your dd went to public school, would she be able to do the arts program. Unfortunately, no. It's during regular school hours.

 

Does the arts program provide some social stimulation? Yes, it does, even though most of the kids are much younger than she.

 

Do you have a local disability support group that has opportunities for socializing in a "safe situation". In my area there are support groups for various disabilities and in some of them the parents have set up teen outings and activities as well as playgroups for youngers. Yes, and she attends occasionally. My issue is that since all the girls have the same types of "issues" it ends up being a bunch of girls sitting around not speaking to each other! Sort of defeats the purpose.

 

If she were in public school would she be labeled for special ed and would being labeled for special ed provide anything helpful. No, she wouldn't. At least she wasn't in Middle School.

 

Would she be going to high school with people who bullied her previously and with new people. Yes, some. Usually, by high school kids stop the worst of the bullying behavior. However, while high school bullies don't pick on as many new kids, they do keep up subtle bullying of kids who were previously bullied. I think if your dd is going to a school with different kids, she will have a better chance of success. And that would be my hope. My nagging fear is that I'm denying her the opportunity to meet new kids by keeping her home. That said, even when she's in places to meet new people, she still never connects. I think the HS environment could be so stimulating it could overwhelm her, causing her to regress to her middle school self (depressed and under acheiving).

 

I don't know your dd's learning profile. My first thought is keep the arts program going and do the online program.

 

Thanks so much for all of the thought-stimulating questions. I think I'm leaning toward doing exactly what you propose. I just hate that she has to meet all of the government school requirements. She doesn't test well, so she'll probably have to complete and extra semester or year of high school if they won't accept her home school credits. Given her maturity level, I suppose that wouldn't be the worst thing (even though she hates school).

[AlmiraGulch]

Just thinking out loud here, but how are these scenarios different--Keystone vs PS online? I'm not very familiar with Keystone, but wouldn't there be more PS "junk" in person than online? And the online program would enable you to send your dd to enrichment programs that are beneficial to her.

 

I'm sorry to hear you're in such a tough spot. :grouphug:

Yes, you're right. It's really just the placement piece that concerns me most. She doesn't test well, and that's how they (the online PS) determine what they'll accept credits for and what they won't, whereas Keystone is much more flexible, looking at the total body of work.

[AlmiraGulch]

We did K12 through a public cyber charter in the past, and if my situation changed and became like yours I would not hesitate to go back. Yes, there is a certain amount of hoop jumping and busy work, but it IS free, your dc would be held accountable by someone other than you, and she would still have the advantage of sticking with her arts enrichment program and would NOT have to deal with the negative public school social environment.

 

Thank you. This is exactly the type of feedback I was hoping to see!

[SonshineLearner]

Speaking as someone who had a child with issues in the schools, and well... it gives them a bit of a break to come home.... I don't know how much $$$ you have for spending, but, I would consider something like My Father's World Ancient History. It's written to the student, and you "discuss" it once a week. It so much depends on where you live, and what's available. We have a spot where we can drop off twice a week, and they are supervised. There's a charge, but it's not to much. (there are other teens there) Also, what I'm personally doing, is putting together a co-op where we meet once a week. Our schools will allow them to come in for...say.... Math; not sure if that's an option for you. Sorry.... it's not easy....ever... but especially when you have a child who is more fragile. What I wish we would have done, regardless of other school issues, is to have enrolled her in a "social learning" class where she would have practiced socially appropriate behaviour. You know, skills to use. I really think it would have helped her blossom more! Alas, I was not the one making the decisions, as she was with us half time, and I was her step-mom. :(

[LidiyaDawn]

I don't see anything in your post about what SHE wants to do… ? Does she *want* to attend the public school? Does she mind if that means she's a year behind? Does she want to do online? What's important to her?

[Mergath]

Based on what you've written, I would give the K12 a try before I'd send her to public school. I don't mean to be overly negative, but high school can be a nightmare for kids with special needs, and if there was bullying in the past with the same group of kids, I doubt things will have gotten better. When I was in high school, I was dealing with epilepsy and social anxiety, and the other kids basically made my life a living hell. They used to walk past me and pretend to have seizures, and then yell that I was freak. :glare:

 

I know that not all kids with special needs have a bad experience, but it sounds like the group of kids she'd be going with aren't the greatest. And if K12 doesn't work out, you can always enroll her in the public school.

[MamaSheep]

If it were me and my Aspie I think I would go with the online option and the arts program (except in our case it would be computers or robotics rather than arts). I think the social stuff would be too overwhelming for him, and he's just now starting to come out of his shell a bit in his church classes, which are much smaller, less overwhelming groups, and I'm reasonably sure that dumping him in high school would make him pull back into himself again. But every child is different, and what would be right for my child might not be for someone else's. I talked with a distant cousin the other day who has a 14yo Aspie dd back in high school after homeschooling for a few years and she says it's going wonderfully. Still, if it were ME and MY child, I'd go with the virtual option supplemented with social opportunities on a more manageable scale for ds. One child's social "opportunity" is another child's ninth circle of hell.

Edited August 3, 2011 by MamaSheep

[AngelaNYC]

Is there only one public high school option in your area? Maybe a different school with different kids and a better program would be ideal?

[AlmiraGulch]

I don't see anything in your post about what SHE wants to do… ? Does she *want* to attend the public school? Does she mind if that means she's a year behind? Does she want to do online? What's important to her?

Great questions.

 

She doesn't know what she wants to do. One day she says she wants to go back to public school and the next it's the last thing she wants to do.

 

She does love her arts enrichment program, so it would be difficult for her to give that up after two years.

 

And yes, it does bother her to be behind, but primarily because it means one more year of school, which she just doesn't enjoy at all, regardless of the format.

[AlmiraGulch]

Is there only one public high school option in your area? Maybe a different school with different kids and a better program would be ideal?

I considered that, but our home school is actually very, very good (for a public school). I don't think it would make a difference to consider another; rather, I think the size and scope of the environment could cause her to recede right back into herself.

[AlmiraGulch]

Based on what you've written, I would give the K12 a try before I'd send her to public school. I don't mean to be overly negative, but high school can be a nightmare for kids with special needs, and if there was bullying in the past with the same group of kids, I doubt things will have gotten better. When I was in high school, I was dealing with epilepsy and social anxiety, and the other kids basically made my life a living hell. They used to walk past me and pretend to have seizures, and then yell that I was freak. :glare:

 

I know that not all kids with special needs have a bad experience, but it sounds like the group of kids she'd be going with aren't the greatest. And if K12 doesn't work out, you can always enroll her in the public school.

That's horrible! I don't think she experienced anything that bad, but then again, I can't be sure. She just never spoke much about it. I do know a few kids tried to reach out to her, but when she doesn't reciprocate it's hard for them to continue. They're not all bad, but the experience as a whole, all 8 years of it, was traumatic for her.

[mom2scouts]

Just a thought, but I have a son in PS high school and it will NOT stop you from having to nag her to get her work done. It may even be worse because you won't always know what assignments she needs to work on. My son constantly tells me he did his work, but his grades and teacher comments say otherwise and it's difficult to know what he's not doing until it's too late.