Why do I torture myself with group field trips? Is it necessary?

[Mommieeeee]

We went on a field trip to a living history site. It comes to this particular town once a year to do Civil War re-enactments and show the Civil War life. It supposed to be fun and educational. It was educational.

 

The problem is that every time I bring my son, age 9, out in these large groups with lots of other kids, I feel like my son's police officer. I feel that I have to moderate his every move.

 

For example: My son was wearing a cowboy hat today for the re-enactment. He thought that it would go for the mood of the day. Some of the other boys were being boys and were tipping each other's hats off. Well then it turned to my son and they tipped his hat off and said some not nice words to him. My son has a very short temper and doesn't like to be messed with. I know this. When they did it the second time after he told them to stop, he lost his temper. He almost socked the kid. And the kid kept doing it ALL DAY.

 

I had to keep reminding him to be the bigger person and to ignore them. I don't know if the mother was there or not. It was hard to identify which mother's dropped off and which stayed.

 

Then as we are finishing with the train ride my son is the only one who got in trouble for sticking his hand out the window. There are 200 other kids on the train, 50 of them sticking their hands out the window and the lady picks on my son. Then she stood 5 people away the rest of the time, giving him "the eye." Because I was so concerned with her watching him, he ended up getting whipped in the eye by a passing branch. Then I felt really bad.

 

I know my son is not perfect. I know that he can be a trouble maker. I know my son has ADHD. I know he is sensitive. I know he is a handful. But why do I do this to myself? I think that every time things will be different. Should I just stop doing group field trips?

 

Does anyone have a son like this? Did anyone stop doing field trips for a time? At what age could you bring him on field trips successfully?

[AprilTN]

I despise group field trips. I tried them for the first year or so that we homeschooled, then I said enough is enough!

 

Now we just go where we want to go, when we want to go. Sometimes we ask another family or two to come along.

[chiguirre]

BTDT! :grouphug:

 

I keep taking ds anyway because I think that it's important to keep practicing those social skills. That's the only way he's going to learn to behave. I do have a pretty thick shell now and I have no hesitation in dropping the A word (autism) when I need to. It's remarkably effective as a evil-eye repellant :D.

[Aubrey]

(((Mommiieeee)))

 

You sure were nice to the trouble-maker kid.

 

And they let people drop dc off??? Who's in charge, then? Group field trips are one thing (though I haven't tried one yet), dropped-off, parentless kids are another.

[Adrianne]

I am sorry you had such a stressful day.

 

I like group fields trips for many reasons:

1. There usually is a discount involved.

2. The fellowship - I get to be around other HS moms.

3. We can experience things in a different way. Some places to do give classes or tours to one family but they will to a group.

 

However, I would not go with just any group.

 

My recommendation would be to find a group, may be of a few families that you can get to know and build a relationship with. This can help tremendously in this type of situation. You will get the know the boys and their families.

 

You can teach him how to get along with others in a controlled environment with people you know and trust. Not kids who are going to pick fights with your son. You will know when they are "just being boys" or they are really fighting. Your son in turn will also feel more comfortable and relaxed.

 

Throwing your son in with a bunch of kids he does not know is not fair to you or him. I personally feel very nervous and a bit scared in a group of people I do not know. I can imagine how a young boy feels.

 

I would encourage you not to avoid group trips - just find the right group.

[nutmeg]

We go on 'field trips' all the time with our support group, as well as doing plenty of outings on our own. All parents must attend with their children, and polite behavior is expected.

 

Of course, group field trips are not a necessity.

 

How does your son do on family outings? Playing with friends at home? Clubs or sports? Perhaps he needs more small group experience before moving into the larger groups.

[Carol in Cal.]

We went on a field trip to a living history site. It comes to this particular town once a year to do Civil War re-enactments and show the Civil War life. It supposed to be fun and educational. It was educational.

 

QUOTE]

 

Was it in Roaring Camp?

 

I had a group of 3 kids that I was chaperoning. We were in Company D. How about you?

 

I am sorry that your son had a rough time. It was a long day for that kind of problem to go on.

 

Normally we do go on field trips with groups, but they are usually shorter--a chemistry experiment and then spend the rest of the day at that science museum, for instance, or a nature walk and then a picnic.

 

I find that DD learns more when she is with just a few people that she knows than if she goes somewhere with a crowd of friends. Seems like there is rarely a consensus on behavior criteria in any group, though, and that can be difficult. Plus some behavior that is just rude but isn't technically against the rules is really hard to prevent.

 

Hope you have a better time next time.

[Michele R.]

We've been going on group field trips for five years now, and one of my three has Asperger's syndrome (on the autism spectrum).

 

However, I will, if I may, make a few suggestions:

 

-Carefully choose your group

-Carefully choose the fieldtrips (don't feel like you have to go on each one)

-Let other people in the group know if your child has a disability or is ADHD, etc. I find that a few close friends have given me much needed encouragement and even offered a helping hand on a few meltdowns over the years.

-Be courteous to other field trippers. For two years my son wasn't able to handle extremely crowded areas or areas with bright lights or sunshine. We avoided fieldtrips in heavily crowded places (especially when we knew we'd have a tour guide) and took sunglasses when spending hours outside with little ability to seek shade. Other families, even homeschoolers, will become impatient if they can't hear a guide because a child is screaming. And exit the scene if needed!

-Hang in there! By continuing to try fieldtrips from time to time, your children will get used to them and learn what kind of behavior is appropriate and acceptable, even if you don't think they will! Practice helps! And you and your child may develop close friendships with other homeschoolers that you may not have met otherwise!

 

Hope this helps!

-Michele R. (new to the board!)

[Leah]

:grouphug: Were you by any chance at Roaring Camp?

 

I do have a very limited affection for group events like this. When I organize our home-school groups trips, we do insist that all parents are there or that they have another mom who is expressly in charge of their kids (so one mom drives her friend's kids and cares for them.) I have trouble with groups that get too big, and I don't enjoy events that all "school days" (a big educational events with many classes in attendance.) as these events always frustrate me.

 

That said, I do see benefit in a calm, educational event or trip and I love those. I just organized a group to see an Israeli Antiquities exhibit and it was great-lots of time to see everything, time to interact and lots of sharing about what everyone was seeing.

[LG Gone Wild]

I would have stepped in between the troublesome kiddo and ds. Correction (for the annoying kid) and separation (for ds's sanity). Yeah, my kid would be the one to get into trouble too. He is just that type to get caught holding the bag. Sigh.

 

I agree with continuing these outings to practice skills. Lots of talking about what is expected before the trip does help (no, really it does). Next time, pick a shorter outing and that includes drive time.

 

I know what you mean about being the kid's policeman but sometimes you have to be there and intervene or else, how would he know what's good and what's not so good? I guess your kid and mine are the type that need alot of directing, correcting, and teaching. ;)

[Carol in Cal.]

:grouphug: Were you by any chance at Roaring Camp?

 

I I just organized a group to see an Israeli Antiquities exhibit and it was great-lots of time to see everything, time to interact and lots of sharing about what everyone was seeing.

 

Hey! Neighbor!

 

It's good to hear about your other local field trip. I have been wanting to go to see that show. This may be just the push I need to get off the dime and do it.

 

Are you on the BAHFT yahoo list? I just joined this year, and it has made some 'school-ish' field trips available to me that I would never have been able to take advantage of otherwise.

[abbeyej]

There are very few group field trips I'll go on any more. I find them stressful, unpleasant, and not generally very educational (when you factor in the hurry-up-and-wait, the poor behavior even when it's just a small percentage of the group, the distraction). And there are certain families in our local group whose consistent, unaddressed behavioral issues have driven me to avoid even usually "safe" field trips (like trips to the theater).

 

There are only very few field trips that can't be done as an individual family. And fewer still that I consider so worthwhile as to not be missed even if it means putting up with all the group nonsense.

 

And I'm not antisocial. ;) I have a large circle of local home schooling friends. But field trips? No, thanks. I'll stick to my family, or perhaps one or two others at most. Much more pleasant.

[Leah]

:) It's a small world!

 

I loved the Israeli exhibit, but just know that it is small- small, but extremely well displayed. They have a wonderfully intact portion of the Dead Sea scrolls and a lot of nice information on the scrolls in general. The other big highlight of the room is a beautiful Byzantine mosaic-very recently discovered.

 

Our homeschool group has just finished a year on the Ancients so this combined with the hall of Ancient artifacts at the museum was a great trip for us-enough from the major civilizations to keep every one interested, but not so much that we all just glazed over. :) I love the Legion anyway, so I am happy to go up there.

 

I am on BAHFT and it has provided some great ideas. Our local HS group is contemplating a school trip down to the Getty in Malibu and to Hearst Castle...if you have a child who would be interested in that, let me know and I can keep you posted. (We even have a dedicated mom who flew done to take the teacher training class so we can qualify for a Getty tour!)

[gail]

We have found that group field trips are usually a lot of time spent with very little educational return.

 

We have had much better luck just going on our own to the places we'd like to visit. The time commitment to set up group things is an issue. Also, in groups there are always children running off who have to be found, toddlers along who get cranky and need naps, etc.

When we have travelled in groups we have found that the group is herded through exhibits by tour guides who have a schedule to follow and we don't get to stop and look or discuss things at our leisure.

 

Unless the discount is significant, we like to go alone or take along one other family.

 

Gail

[Carol in Cal.]

:) Our local HS group is contemplating a school trip down to the Getty in Malibu and to Hearst Castle...if you have a child who would be interested in that, let me know and I can keep you posted. (We even have a dedicated mom who flew done to take the teacher training class so we can qualify for a Getty tour!)

 

This would be great! DD has not seen Hearst castle yet, and we are at about 1865 in our march through American history so we will be up to the Spanish-American war some time this year for sure. Couldn't be more timely.

 

Thanks for the details on the Legion exhibit. We have not been there in quite a while. The last time we were there I was pleasantly surprised that DD remembered which internal organ went with which canopic jar--something that *I* certainly didn't retain from our study of ancients. You just never know what kids will and won't retain, I guess!

[Mommieeeee]

:grouphug: Were you by any chance at Roaring Camp?

 

 

 

Yes, that was it! It is such a small world. I was so excited to go on this trip as we had just finished our study of the Civil War.

 

Oh well! We don't really belong to a local, small group. We haven't really found one that we clicked with. I guess that I need to take a year off from field trips or do them indiviually.

 

I do belong to BAHFT, which is where I saw the field trip first. It is so hard to see all these great field trips and learning opportunities and to pass them up. If I had my way, we would do a field trip a week as my kids are such hands on learners.

 

Field trips are such catch-22s.

 

Thanks for listening!

[Carol in Cal.]

I feel like I know a lot of homeschoolers here, all of whom I have SOME ONE THING in common with, but no one that I have EVERYTHING in common with.

 

I'm on the Santa Clara County side of the hill. I get wistful about Santa Cruz classes sometimes, but not enough to drive over once or twice a week.

 

I have hosted a book discussion group for 5-7th graders this year, and it has been a great experience for DD and me. I advertised it on BAFHT, and because of this DD has made some new friends who also love books, and I have met some more cool homeschoolers! Anyway, I would say that if you define what you really want to organize or are seeking and put it out there, you might find just what you are looking for.

[Starr]

I find that the more children that are along the less they focus on wherever they are.

[Robin in Tx]

We do family field trips, not group. We do group play dates and social things. We do some things with friends when the educational element is not all that important :). But if I want dd paying attention and taking it all in, distractions of friends and playmates are not a good idea.

[Leah]

:) Ahh, you both just need to learn to love driving over the hill and embrace the SC side. :)

 

Kidding aside, I lament often not living over in the more happening area of town...But then I see the ocean and all is well.

[Ellie]

was if they were on Thursday (which was my regular field trip day) and they were outings I couldn't do with just my dc and me, or we got a major discount on admission.

 

Otherwise, my dc and I went out every Thursday, just the 3 of us. Once in a while I would invite a few people to go with us if I wanted to do something that required a group (e.g., the Aerospace Museum in San Diego's Balboa Park; I could have a docent if there were 10 bodies in the group. I called a couple of other families so we'd total exactly 10.)

 

Also, I will only go with groups I trust, KWIM? Some groups have parents and field trip organizers who do things the way they should be done, and I will go with them. Otherwise, not a chance.

[elizam]

Yes, I've been there, done that, even down to the ADHD son.

 

I can't remember a field trip we truly liked.

 

We all learned more going as a family than as a huge group.

 

As a homeschool group, we were treated more like a herd by the place we were visiting, and were often criticised later for not "acting enough like PS kids".

 

There were always issues such as excluding by other kids, fights being picked, etc. Ds always seemed to be the one bullied or excluded or annoying to everyone.

 

It never got better. But we did like doing stuff as a family.