Blessedchaos Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Tomorrow is my kids' last day of school and in the fall we are planning to homeschool. We have been discussing this most of the school year, so they have known this was the plan for quite a while. My dd, who is 7 and finishing 2nd grade, came home from school today and had a meltdown because doesn't want to homeschool, but rather wants to stay at her school, which she loves. She knows that once we remove her we cannot put her back into this school because we open enroll and enrollment is closed because of overcrowding. I try to talk to her about all the fun things we will do and all our reasons for homeschooling, but she is only 7 and can't really comprehend it all. She is my only child who has never been homeschooled so she really doesn't have a clue what it is all about. My oldest ds, who is 12 and finishing 6th grade, has been just talking like he is going back next year even though he begged me all year until about a month ago to pull him out and homeschool him because he was so bored and miserable. Now he suddenly wants to go back. I think this is in part because we are trying to get him into a new hybrid school and he doesn't want to go. He doesn't respond well to change, so even a boring, familiar school will seem better than the unknown. Only my middle ds is ecstatic about coming home. None really seem to have any enthusiasm for anything I talk about that I'm planning on doing for school this coming year. I'm sure part of that is because they are finishing up a year of ps and they are burnt out. I know that my dd's reaction is probably pretty normal, but it breaks my heart to see her so upset. I have many reasons for wanting to hs them, so I'm not really doubting that decision. I just am really hoping it all works out and they aren't miserable... Has anyone been there, done that?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Changes are tough. Think about how they might react if the change was a move cross-country. Chances you would have some of the same meltdowns and mixed feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I'm wondering if a big part of it might be the end-of-year fun, parties, bonding type stuff. Suddenly it seems all so much fun and nostalgic. I'm sorry you are all going through this. Change is hard. cyber hugs. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 In the midst of the end of year stuff, I'd stop trying to convince them of how great it will be. I would simply be mute about it for a while, and move forward with your plans, without trying to sell them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felicity Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 This is something that's really been on my mind. My 5yo dd is coming home for first grade next year and she swings hot and cold about it. Last week she was fine with being home but they've been talking about how fun first grade will be and spending time at the library and pizza parties. So now she's sad and grumpy. I have no real suggestions beyond talking up anything fun you can do and telling the kids that they will still see their friends. I will spend time making sure she still sees anyone she wants to even if it's a pain for me. Change is hard especially going from something known and normal to something brand new. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 (edited) ITA with just kind of dropping the talking-it-up for a while. When your start date gets closer, I'd also really try to let each of them pick something they're interested in learning about and do some kind of unit study/independent investigation/whatever (depending on the age of the child). You could also plan some fun field trips during the first few weeks after PS starts back. Or have a not-back-to-school party on the first day of PS. Get up and wave at the bus going by (or not :) ) and then go back to bed, spend the day in your pj's, watch a movie or play games, go to the uncrowded playground . . . Let your kids in on the planning. Edited June 9, 2011 by Kirch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 :001_smile: It's end of the school year madness. It'll take a week and she'll be used to the new routine. Our whole family was terrified when we pulled our kids from ps. Now, we tease the 8 yro when we see the school bus outside. Hey, Dude! They're comin' to get ya'! :lol: Do you have plans to do a co-op or take any enrichment classes? We try to do one enrichment class every semester and my kids usually love it. Also, as they get older, you can sit down with them and go over extra projects that they would like to do, experiments, etc. I think it's hard for kids to see any other way to spend their day. They're in school 8 hours a day. It probably feels like a big part of their identity. What about homeschooling part-time in the summer to get everyone in the swing of things? We did this, too. It was our trial run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I just wouldn't discuss it for a few weeks. And then, I'd start transitioning during the summer. Start by doing some fun homeschooling activities. Add in the "musts" (such as reading, writing, math, etc) later on. Start with the really fun stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 ITA with just kind of dropping the talking-it-up for a while. When your start date gets closer, I'd also really try to let each of them pick something they're interested in learning about and do some kind of unit study/independent investigation/whatever (depending on the age of the child). You could also plan some fun field trips during the first few weeks after PS starts back. Or have a not-back-to-school party on the first day of PS. Get up and wave at the bus going by (or not :) ) and then go back to bed, spend the day in your pj's, watch a movie or play games, go to the uncrowded playground . . . Let your kids in on the planning. Our old homeschool group did this. We would have a Not Back To School pool party on the first day of school. We had the pool to ourselves (a real treat), plus picnics and sometimes little games with prizes. Lots of fun and a nice ceremonial marking of the day. Plus it went a long way to showing the kids that they weren't the only homeschoolers. I'm thinking of inviting the other homeschoolers on the street to a morning brunch on the first day in the fall. Right after the bus pulls away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 My situation is different (we are moving so my kids are switching from one school to another), but I think it helps to acknowledge their loss. Yes, it's hard to not see your friends as much. Let's set up an email account so you can swap addresses and stay in touch. Let's sign you up for soccer so you will still see friends that way. Etc. In a week or two, start gently directing them toward the good things coming up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedchaos Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 Thank you so much for all the wonderful advice everyone! It really helps:) We will be doing some sort of group or co-op. In fact, I'm trying to arrange right now so they can meet over the summer to get their feet wet and see if our first choice is a good fit. I thought they'd be all over it, but they really want nothing to do with it right now. As summer gets going I hope they will be more receptive. There are more enrichment classes available here than we could ever even have time to touch. My son will have to still go to speech at the local school (not the school he is now attending), and I don't know the schedule on that yet. It could be 2-3 times per week. They will also be taking piano and they all play soccer right now through July. We have a wonderful group of friends that we spend a lot of time with over the summer, so that will also be fun. Dd is in Girl Scouts, though I don't know if she wants to continue next year. Plus, we belong to the YMCA, though dd doesn't like to go since she has to go to the child center. So enrichment activities will definitely not be a problem. I plan to start slow and add in as needed. I think right now we need time to deschool a bit. I don't know how long we will do this. We have always afterschooled, even during the summer, so my kids and I are pretty burnt out. We just need a break from even thinking about school. My dh kind of flipped when he heard this, though, and said maybe a month but no more. I had planned to start school part time at least in August because I want to do a 3-4 week on, 1 week off type of schedule. No bus to wave to;) since I take my kids to school every day, but I told them maybe we'd go out to eat or go to a coffee shop the first day of school. All of these things dd was excited about previously. She had said all along that she would prefer to stay in school, but she would rather homeschool than go to any other school. She is usually very compliant, so I really do think this is all about the end of school and the emotions of loss she is having, which are all perfectly normal. They are just hard for mom to watch knowing that this is my choice. Yesterday was just hard. Her behavior was worse all around than I've seen for a long time. Yet, she was constantly crawling into my lap to snuggle, so I think she just needs some extra love right now. :001_smile: It's end of the school year madness. It'll take a week and she'll be used to the new routine. Our whole family was terrified when we pulled our kids from ps. Now, we tease the 8 yro when we see the school bus outside. Hey, Dude! They're comin' to get ya'! :lol: Do you have plans to do a co-op or take any enrichment classes? We try to do one enrichment class every semester and my kids usually love it. Also, as they get older, you can sit down with them and go over extra projects that they would like to do, experiments, etc. I think it's hard for kids to see any other way to spend their day. They're in school 8 hours a day. It probably feels like a big part of their identity. What about homeschooling part-time in the summer to get everyone in the swing of things? We did this, too. It was our trial run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I would just listen to their concerns, don't try to convince them that homeschooling will be better. Just dry their tears and be patient. Quietly plan field trips for the first of the year. Plan silly things too, like backwards day - eat dinner for breakfast etc. Plan pajama day, plan do schoolwork at a park day etc. That will make you feel better that it really is going to be fun. Don't tell them all of that now, in August/September they will be happier than you promised them.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 It sounds like you will be doing a ton of enrichment stuff. They'll have a great time. We're in Texas and there are homeschool classes, co-ops, stores, art troops, etc - everywhere. It sounds like you're in an area like that, too. It's awesome. Good luck on your upcoming school year! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 When I pulled my kids out of their school, which they loved, I openly acknowledged that we'd be giving up some good things, but hopefully getting some good things as well. I think kids need to know their feelings are based on reality. So I talked about the details. They wouldn't see their friends. They wouldn't have class parties. They wouldn't get to be involved in History Day, or the Science Fair and other activities their school did. But on the other hand... they wouldn't have to wake up every morning and rush to eat breakfast, wear uniforms or rush out the door on cold days. We could take time off when we wanted. We could do subjects in whatever order we wanted. We could be involved in more extra activities. (We didn't do very many extracurriculars when they were school because there simply wasn't room in our budget for tuition and other activities.) They still miss their friends, but they also say they love being at home. Everything in life is a trade off. I try to keep them focused on the good but I won't deny the bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdkidsmom Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 It is hard when one of your kids is sad, but it sounds like you have a really good plan in place. I think your idea to give them a nice long break from schooling is a great idea. We are new to homeschooling and my up-and-coming 3rd grader loves being at home, but my soon-to-be K'er tells everyone how she wishes she could go to ps. I think a big part is the social aspect of being with friends/making new friends. I'm sure it will get easier once they realize homeschool doesn't mean no friends or playdates etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 (edited) :iagree: And if possible, try starting later or with some amazing field trip or even a vacation. (We used to make Disney World or Land the start of our year; the parks weren't crowded and we had a blast.) ...You need to prepare your heart for them not being 100% happy. In the midst of the end of year stuff, I'd stop trying to convince them of how great it will be. I would simply be mute about it for a while, and move forward with your plans, without trying to sell them. Edited June 9, 2011 by Tammyla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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