AlmiraGulch Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 So it's 5 after 5 and my 8 year old comes and asks me to take her to her school's night at the skating rink. I said no, primarily because I made dinner plans with a friend for this evening at 7:00, which means I have to leave by 6:30. That, and I've told her before to tell me about this stuff in advance and we could do it more often. Technically, I could take her right now. She'd be there for a little less than an hour, though, before we'd have to leave. She'd be fine with an hour, but I think it's sort of a waste of money for that short amount of time. Plus, I'd have the stress of traffic I don't feel like dealing with (no traffic going the other direction to dinner with friend later). Anyway, I started to feel a modicum of guilt about it, but then I quickly got over it. Had she told me about it in advance I could have NOT made plans, but she didn't and I did and here we are. Were it you, would you have taken her? I'm really just curious to see what others would do. I think I tend to be rather inflexible on this sort of thing sometimes and maybe I should...I don't know....not be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Nope. Something I've drilled into my kids' heads is, if you want to participate in an activity, you must let me know in advance. Advance doesn't mean 15 minutes before you're supposed to be there, either. Lack of planning on their part doesn't constitute an urgency or emergency on mine. ETA: If my dd found out about an activity at the last minute, and if I had no other plans, I'd most likely take her. But as a general rule, last minute notifications get a "no" by default. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Nope. I wouldn't have taken her. Things like that are planned well in advance, and plans should be made before the last minute, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 No. I keep a family calendar on the fridge... both this month and next month are posted there. The children know it must be written down on the calendar, or the event does not exist and I'm not obligated. If it's farther out than next month, write it in the margins. :D I keep a sharp eye on the calendar and what's happening there, so nothing shows up without my being aware of it. What's starting to drive me crazy is that several of my children keep as sharp an eye on the calendar as I do. I'm no longer able to make cryptic notes to myself without being questioned. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Mine know that I won't do it unless I have 24 hours notice, period, and even then, it depends on what else is going on. I remind them that their parents make appointments for meetings, doctor appointments, car service, etc. and that I need advance notice too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwjx2khsmj Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 No, I wouldn't have taken her. Planning ahead is a great skill to learn and 8 is not too young to begin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I wouldn't have taken her and probably would haved laughed at her for asking.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I typically keep a track on things that are coming up in my children's lives. The swim team banquet or bowling party, tennis tournaments, end of year picnic for classes, etc. I would not really expect an 8 year old to be a good reporter on these things. 8 year olds do not always have a great sense of time. So if I could have known about the skating party myself by reading the school website or newsletter, I would feel a little guilty about that. I would hate to see an 8 year old disappointed by failing to keep track of dates. At 13, I wouldn't feel nearly as bad. But I would also feel bad canceling plans with a friend. I probably would have asked the friend if we could meet half an hour later, and then would have taken my daughter for as long as that allowed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 Ok....good. My modicum of guilt is completely gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I wouldn't have taken her either but I'm wondering why you didn't know earlier. Do they not send home notes to parents or what? Our schools always send home a monthly calendar. They can't honestly expect an 8yo to remember that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I would have done the same as you, down to the modicum of guilt and posting here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 It wouldn't have been an issue here. When my dc were in school, they sent a calendar out at the beginning of the school year with the schedule of social events. They also sent out reminders. Maybe you should get the PTA to provide more notice. I would have taken her. I'm a sucker to stuff like that. I might not have taken her myself, but I would have found a way for her to go skating. My parents were very inflexible with time and notice and it has really affected the way I parent and the flexibility I allow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 I wouldn't have taken her either but I'm wondering why you didn't know earlier. Do they not send home notes to parents or what? Our schools always send home a monthly calendar. They can't honestly expect an 8yo to remember that. They do, but I don't always see it. I travel extensively for work so her father often gets those things and often doesn't post them in the appointed spot. She knows she is supposed to tell me in advance, and she does know in advance and can tell me (and often does). So, she also forgot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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