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Do you attract what you put out?


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I have a major issue right now with my neice. She is 13 and dresses like a street walker. I am not joking in any way. She wears halter dresses that look 3 sizes too small, she bends over you see cheek. It is so low if she stretched her arms up she would pop out.

 

This is no little 13 year old she is gifted up top. She wears thongs. She watches and listens to anything always has. Her favorite show at 5 was Family Guy and since she was small her mom has though it cute when she says when she grows up she will be just like Brittany Spears??

 

Every other week her facebook status says a new boyfriend. The latest boyfriend requested nude pics sent to his phone. She hangs on grown men, will sit with legs gapped wide open and talk like she is oh so expierenced. There is porn openly in the home by the way. Well is it a wonder with how she acts and how she dresses someone asked for those kinds of pics?

 

It amazes me her mom is in shock. I mean what does she expect? Isn't it how you act, how you carry yourself is what causes people to attract to you??

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I would say most people would not respond. Most people know better. There are probably some who would, though, if she is putting out so strongly.

I can't change all the wrongs in the world- I can only live my own truth. People generally don't like to be "told" unless they are actually asking for advice or guidance- and will resist even the wisest and most compassionate advice- until they are ready.

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:grouphug: I have two nieces like this. They are blocked from my facebook page because their language, attitudes, and attire is unreal. Their parents wonder why they are so naughty and have so many problems, but to some of us the reasoning is very obvious..

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That poor child. No matter what her figure is like and no matter how she dresses, she is still thirteen years old. I imagine she is desperate for attention and trying to get it any way she can. Is her father in the picture?

 

What a heartbreaking description.

Edited by JennyD
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I want to pipe in that sometimes there isn't any one to blame and nothing you can do.

 

One of my dear friends has an incredibly voluptuous 13yo dd. She cares so much about her daughter and her husband is a very involved father.

 

Her mom has tried EVERYTHING to prevent her daughter from acting like a street girl, but it doesn't matter. The girl borrows clothes from her friends because her mom wont buy the slutty ones. Her mom doesn't allow make-up, so she sneaks it and takes it off before coming home, new boyfriend every week even though she's not allowed to use the phone or go out after school....

 

My friend is in tears almost every day about what to do with her daughter.

 

It wasn't her upbringing that made her this way. It was the physical development of her body that changed her. She admits she likes being "popular" because of her body.

 

What can one do? Do you make her feel shame for her body?

How do you teach her to respect herself when she's getting so much attention from everyone (males and females)? She lives in a country where sexuality is promoted and idolized and her suddenly body fits that image.

 

There isn't anything to say to the my precious friend, her mother.

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I have a major issue right now with my neice. She is 13 and dresses like a street walker. I am not joking in any way. She wears halter dresses that look 3 sizes too small, she bends over you see cheek. It is so low if she stretched her arms up she would pop out.

 

This is no little 13 year old she is gifted up top. She wears thongs. She watches and listens to anything always has. Her favorite show at 5 was Family Guy and since she was small her mom has though it cute when she says when she grows up she will be just like Brittany Spears??

 

Every other week her facebook status says a new boyfriend. The latest boyfriend requested nude pics sent to his phone. She hangs on grown men, will sit with legs gapped wide open and talk like she is oh so expierenced. There is porn openly in the home by the way. Well is it a wonder with how she acts and how she dresses someone asked for those kinds of pics?

 

It amazes me her mom is in shock. I mean what does she expect? Isn't it how you act, how you carry yourself is what causes people to attract to you??

 

The few times we have seen this demeanor/behaviour in the law office there was something terrible happening to the young lady. Unspeakably terrible. I worry for this poor child and hope you can reach out to her to say she is loved, valued and if she ever needs to talk about ANYTHING whatsoever she can dial your number and you will be there in a heartbeat. There is something very troubling here.

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The boy who asked for it is 13 himself so I don't see the police doing anything at all there. The mother is the same way. She dresses like she wants to show as much as possible. CPS has been called about the porn in the house, the poor conditions and many other things, nothing has ever been done or will be done.

 

I had her living with me at one point and it was a nightmare. She stole from me, the kids and my friends. She refused to do any chores and hid trash in odd places. The mother is lazy and rude as well so sadly she is following her.

 

I just thought it strange that when she teaches her to flirt and dress like a street walker that she would be suprised when some hormonal teenage boy wanted pics of her. DUH!!!

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