MariannNOVA Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 my niece's Graduation Recital at Juilliard. I knew about the particulars b/c my niece posted it on her FB events page and dh and I decided that absolutely we all would attend -- so I RSVP-d her and she was thrilled. She is a sweetheart - I was her 'nanny' from when she was 2 yrs old till she was 5 yrs old. DH asked if there was a supper or dessert 'thing' that my sister was hosting and I said that there had been no mention of anything like that and we would just figure it out. Then, I mentioned (that same day) to my mom that we were going to travel to NYC to see her Recital (she is an Opera major -- she will give a one hour recital next week). My mom was really happy that we would all be there. She asked me how I knew about it, and I said it was on niece's FB page so I RSVP'd that we would be there. About four hours later I get an email from my sister, apologizing profusely (she says that my email apparently did not come up in her address book when she sent the original email inviting everyone and she forgot to send me an email inviting me). The email has a 'forwarded' email attached - the forwarded email had been sent a month ago to a bunch of people (I know all of them - some are family, some are friends). It invites them to the 'crowning culmination' of four years of hard work (yes, I agree - my niece has worked very, very hard) and says that the evening wouldn't be complete without the invitees joining dear sister and her family for dinner pre-recital and dessert post-recital. More of the same from her, I guess. But, dh, the kids and I are really excited that we will be able to see my niece perform. For those of you who know the Thanksgiving Story from last year, you can see how 'this' stings too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 :grouphug: That's just too bizarre, especially the comment your mother made about how you found out. That implies she knew you didn't know about it. At least, that is how I would interpret it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 :grouphug: That's just too bizarre, especially the comment your mother made about how you found out. That implies she knew you didn't know about it. At least, that is how I would interpret it. I totally agree - that is what I thought. I thought it was 'odd' that my mom asked 'how' I 'knew' about it :confused:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homeschooling Again Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 How exciting to have an opera singer in your family. Have a wonderful at the recital!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 How exciting to have an opera singer in your family. Have a wonderful at the recital!!!!! Thank you! I am so excited for her. She sang at my daughter's wedding a few years ago - her voice is beautiful and I know that my dad must be sitting in Heaven just beaming at her!:) My kids are SO excited! Ugh. I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Yay for your niece! Boo, hiss for your sister. Forgot my hiney. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostinabook Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Yikes. I'm glad that you all will get go & it is wonderful that your niece is thrilled that you'll be able to be there. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 Yay for your niece! Boo, hiss for your sister. Forgot my hiney. :lol::lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 :blink: what does one even say to that? I don't know. What a crappy sister. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You're so sweet. In the face of it all you're excited to see your niece perform. Focus on that and pity your sister. I guess that's all you can do. I mean really, what's wrong with her? :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 That's just too bizarre, especially the comment your mother made about how you found out. That implies she knew you didn't know about it. At least, that is how I would interpret it. :svengo: Mariann, drop them. I'll be your sister.;) :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 *shoves Denise out of the way* No! Me!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 *shoves Denise out of the way* No! Me!! HEY!!!! I called it first!!! She's MY sister and your FRIEND!!! :001_tt2::001_tt2::001_tt2: Don't make me drive up there. You won't want that.;) :auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 *throws a hip check* Dare you, double dog dare you!!! :001_tt2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairytalemama Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 You'll have a lovely time. My sister in law studied bassoon there and she gave a concert there as an alum a few years ago. It was fantastic. Bottom line---sisters are crazy. I have 6 of them and one or the other of us is always going at it. :boxing_smiley: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 :blink: what does one even say to that? I don't know. What a crappy sister. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You're so sweet. In the face of it all you're excited to see your niece perform. Focus on that and pity your sister. I guess that's all you can do. I mean really, what's wrong with her? :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You and I had this discussion at Thanksgiving, remember? ;) We are NOT going there. And I agree with what you wrote above. Fortunately, I am thrilled that we will be able to see my niece perform. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 You'll have a lovely time. My sister in law studied bassoon there and she gave a concert there as an alum a few years ago. It was fantastic. Bottom line---sisters are crazy. I have 6 of them and one or the other of us is always going at it. :boxing_smiley: Thank you -- and thank you for the bottom line.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 *throws a hip check* Dare you, double dog dare you!!! :001_tt2: ok, now you've done it. BRAT!!!! I'll get you for this! Mariann, :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:I sure do miss my parents, but I sure DON'T miss those stings. I used to get them All The Time.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Yeah, yeah, yeah. :001_tt2: I win! w00t!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Now Mariann, Let's see, we've donkey butt and your sis. Twin jacks to pin the tail on....me thinks there should be a party complete with hats, twirlers, and kazoos! I have a sister-in-law who is quite manipulative in this department. She'll send out "secret" invitations to all of her friends and family for my niece's birthdays and then wait until the night before to inform my mom and I (long history culminating in she's jealous of my marriage and my mom's relationship with her grandchildren from my brother's previous marriage). Since many times it's too short notice for us to make arrangements, she then spends the whole party as the "martyr" while her family and friends console her because her husband's family is so mean! UGH! Your sister, my sister-in-law, donkey butt, the MIL from h*ll who cut someone's son's hair without permission.....me thinks that a WTM "bring your own picture pin-up" and we'll provide the darts and chocolate party ought to be in the works! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 :svengo: Mariann, drop them. I'll be your sister. :grouphug: *shoves Denise out of the way* No! Me!! HEY!!!! I called it first!!! She's MY sister and your FRIEND!!! :001_tt2: Don't make me drive up there. You won't want that.;) :auto: *throws a hip check* Dare you, double dog dare you!!! :001_tt2: ok, now you've done it. BRAT!!!! I'll get you for this! Mariann, I sure do miss my parents, but I sure DON'T miss those stings. I used to get them All The Time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. :001_tt2: I win! w00t!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG5MT3sCKBg&feature=related BEHAVE!!!! There is ENOUGH of me to go around, trust me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 Now Mariann, Let's see, we've donkey butt and your sis. Twin jacks to pin the tail on....me thinks there should be a party complete with hats, twirlers, and kazoos! I have a sister-in-law who is quite manipulative in this department. She'll send out "secret" invitations to all of her friends and family for my niece's birthdays and then wait until the night before to inform my mom and I (long history culminating in she's jealous of my marriage and my mom's relationship with her grandchildren from my brother's previous marriage). Since many times it's too short notice for us to make arrangements, she then spends the whole party as the "martyr" while her family and friends console her because her husband's family is so mean! UGH! Your sister, my sister-in-law, donkey butt, the MIL from h*ll who cut someone's son's hair without permission.....me thinks that a WTM "bring your own picture pin-up" and we'll provide the darts and chocolate party ought to be in the works! Faith Family dynamics can be so 'tricky.' DD Stacey said that she hated to agree with me, but she does think the lack of the email invitation was intentional. I know my sister well enough to think so as well. Hurts, but is not important in the great scheme of things -- I will get to see my niece, she is thrilled that her little cousins will be there and that is really all that counts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 So....... are you going to the dinner/dessert? :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 So....... are you going to the dinner/dessert? :lurk5: No. I still have not been provided the details of either by my sister. And, when I figured out what had probably been going on, I decided that we would take the kids to dinner ourselves. DH and I both worked in NYC for many years so we know our way around fairly well and we both have favorite places. I want to see my niece perform, not sit and get agita (is that how you spell it?) so we will go to the Recital Hall only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Fine. I'll share...But I'm calling shotgun for the Hummer :auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 I have inlaws to donate to the party too. :D Once your niece embarks on her adult life, she'll be free to make plans with who she pleases, without her mother's involvement. Make sure she has your info. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Mariann - I'm SO sorry!!!! I wish I were as clever as other posters and could post something funny to make you laugh. But, I'm not. You are a wonderful person and I'm sorry your sister is being a butt. BUT, your niece is going to remember FOREVER that you were there for her recital. :grouphug::grouphug: And, congrats to your niece!!!!! Incredible!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 I have inlaws to donate to the party too. :D Once your niece embarks on her adult life, she'll be free to make plans with who she pleases, without her mother's involvement. Make sure she has your info. :lol::lol::lol: And thank you for sharing! I think you get dibs on the Hummer since you asked first.;):auto: Interestingly enough, my sister's other daughter may spend the summer with us if she get an internship in DC. I am close (relatively speaking) with both my nieces --. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 My family likes to pull the 'last minute' invite too. It cracks me up, because I don't think they don't realize how many times they have done it. Excuses....are sometimes valid. No biggie. No hurt feelings. But, when you get the same excuse time and again... and again from the same person, it starts to become crystal clear. In my case, I don't think they do it out of malice, just indifference. I have started not attending, or accommodating these people in my everyday life. (Your event is different, I would attend that.) I have let go of so much of my family. I just remind myself, that they are my past and I am holding on to expectations and memories that are no long valid. I know how they act and behave, so why should I expect anything different from them. Once I was able to let go, and see them for who they really are, I realized that they aren't anyone I would spend time with anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Living well is the best revenge they say. I'm glad you worked it out to be at the recital! Have a great time in NYC ! It will be a wonderful trip! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted April 6, 2011 Author Share Posted April 6, 2011 My family likes to pull the 'last minute' invite too. It cracks me up, because I don't think they don't realize how many times they have done it. Excuses....are sometimes valid. No biggie. No hurt feelings. But, when you get the same excuse time and again... and again from the same person, it starts to become crystal clear. In my case, I don't think they do it out of malice, just indifference. I have started not attending, or accommodating these people in my everyday life. (Your event is different, I would attend that.) I have let go of so much of my family. I just remind myself, that they are my past and I am holding on to expectations and memories that are no long valid. I know how they act and behave, so why should I expect anything different from them. Once I was able to let go, and see them for who they really are, I realized that they aren't anyone I would spend time with anyways. The 'last minute - oops I forgot' is the first time she has done this. Usually she will come right out and say to me: 'I didn't invite you b/c so and so will be here and you've never had anything in common with them.' And she pulled an award winner at Thanksgiving -- her best yet. I have basically let go as well -- and I agree with what you have written above -- my sister clearly doesn't want to include me or my family (she did not invite either of my daughters) so I truly don't wish to spend time with her. It's sad, but it is what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 I'm glad your nieces have you, cause their mom sounds like a nut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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