Have your kids ever accused you of not teaching them enough?

[Lilymax]

I have a newly-13-year-old son who has quite a lot of friends. I'd say 2/3 are homeschooled while the rest go to PS.

 

For some reason, he is always comparing himself to the PS friends and telling me that they know more than he does. Particularly, he refers to math. One of his closest PS friends was doing algebra over a year ago and bragging about it. We use Teaching Textbooks math and though he's on the 7th grade level, they're not doing actual algebra yet. I explain that he's on his grade level, doing well and he shouldn't feel like he's behind anyone...that every school and homeschool has its own curricula and rate of progress...that there aren't any "rules" about what you have to learn in which year of school.

 

He still seems to feel like he's behind. We haven't always homeschooled; when I pulled him out of private school in the middle of 3rd grade, he was woefully behind in math, so I'm really proud of how he's caught up. But frankly, he's not ready to be moved ahead in math.

 

When things get heated (which I'm finding they do more as his hormone levels rise!) he always flings that out there, that I'm not teaching him well enough. So I wonder if that's just his way of attacking me where it hurts? (Admittedly, it does sting a little.) He always does well on his annual testing, so I'm not worried that he's behind....aside from the usual underlying worry that's expressed here often, that everyone else's kids are smarter/brighter/will do better in college!

 

I also thought maybe it's a ploy to try to get me to send him to PS, but he swears he never wants to go back to a traditional school.

 

Anyway...just wondering if any other HS moms have had their kids say stuff like this. Thanks!

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

No, mine have never said that.

 

What is your son studying for English, Latin, History, Literature, etc.?

[mom2bee]

I was one of those kids who felt that I wasn't learning enough. Like your boy, I did well on official tests when I took them in the upper grades, but I really felt like my home education was lacking. I wanted to learn Spanish, I began studying. I used the library resources to get started and pecked away at Spanish on my own, off and on for years. I wanted to learn math better with understanding, I went back to my 3rd grade math book, to the very page and the very lesson where I remembered feeling 'lost' and worked thorugh every page on every problem in the book in the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th grade math books...I worked in Algebra for Dummies with my dad, I called the homework tutoring line. I worked myself extra to accomplish what I felt I wanted or needed to accomplish. I took a test and scored at the end of 9th grade in math and 12th grade for every thing else.

 

So, what I'm saying is that in the 7th grade he ought to be old enough to take some initiative. If he wan'ts more math, sign him up at KhanAcademy to work through as much as he'd like for free online at his level to do alongside TT7. If he's stuck on a concept, tell him to search PatrickJMT's videos for additional explanation. Buy him a textbook from a used bookstore marked Elementary or Intermediate Algebra and 5 subject notebook to go along with it, help him develop a pacing schedule to slowly work through the Algebra book.

 

Help him find books on different science topics, find some area in history that he is interested in and have him write a report on it.

 

Make it clear that whatever he does is along side his normal school schedule and that you do expect him to make progress in his 'Independent Study'. If he comes to you for help, help him but direct him to do it himself as much as possible. Make him keep up with his I.S. project for at least 9 weeks and take the time to grade his work.

 

Thats just my $0.02 though, so...yeah.

[Sahamamama]

:iagree:with Mom2Bee, sign him up for Khan Academy, and let him work through more math on his own. If he claims to want more math, give it to him. ;)

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

:iagree: Khan Academy is actually very awesome now.

 

Your son can earn badges and points and track his progress. The site will even tell him what lessons to do next. He can connect with "coaches" and other students, as well.

 

He can start at 2+2 and work his way up to physics and calculus, all on his own time and on his own responsibility.

 

You might see some gains in his understanding that will make it possible for you to accelerate his assigned math, too.

 

(If you go this route, a tip: My son likes to use a graphics pen and tablet to work out the problems on the screen. It goes quicker and uses less paper.)

[Pretty in Pink]

I have the opposite problem. My 12yo has a tendency to brag about how much farther ahead he is in math than most of the kids he knows. He can be really annoying about it, unfortunately. :001_huh:

[tiffanieh]

Comparisons are always hard...someone will always be better than you, and you will be better than others. :)

 

I COULD be terribly wrong here, but I remember when looking at TT that they typically run 1-2 grades behind other curricula. Most people I know that use TT will bump up to the next level to be on par. I'm not sure why TT doesn't correct this and change their levels to be grade equivalent.

 

Again, I could be wrong, I just know this to be the case for the several families I know using it and from threads I've seen on this board.

 

If he WANTS to speed up, perhaps he could skip most of the review, or double up on lessons to accelerate him to the next level??

[Rosie_0801]

Don't forget to use words like "challenge" and "outside the normal scope and sequence."

 

Rosie

[Lilymax]

Don't forget to use words like "challenge" and "outside the normal scope and sequence."

 

Rosie

 

:confused:

[Rosie_0801]

:confused:

 

If he thinks he's not being taught enough, words like "challenge" might make him feel better. "Here, I got you a new maths book. It looks challenging. They don't teach this kind of stuff in schools. Let's have a look!"

 

Rosie

Edited March 26, 2011 by Rosie_0801

[Lilymax]

Thanks for all the input--definitely lots to think about.

 

I had heard that about TT being a year behind other curricula. He started it in 5th grade, I think, and it was a good fit, so I just figured if we keep going with it, he'll be where he needs to be by the time he graduates.

 

However...you guys have made me realize that a lot of it is repetitious, so maybe I will talk to him about checking into that academy you mentioned; plus maybe skipping ahead some in his TT. I never really thought about offering him an independent study type of thing (because he's never exactly been one to go looking for more schoolwork! LOL) but you're right: if he's asking for more, I should give it. ;)

 

For Language Arts, we use LLATL and Vocabulary from Classical Roots. (He's on the 8th grade level in that). History and science have been mostly interest-led unit studies, but I'm thinking of switching him to a more formal curriculum in both subjects next year.

[Lilymax]

If he thinks he's not being taught enough, words like "challenge" might make him feel better.

 

Rosie

 

Ah! Gotcha! :D

[Ester Maria]

I believe that all of us have to face that accusation at some point, no matter how well we do our job. And the opposite one too, no matter how lenient we actually are with them with regard to what they could be doing. It's just how it is - they have to question it. It's their education, the older they get, the more they "own" it. They can often bring a lot of healthy skepticism to the table, and that's good. At the same time, you need to take with a grain of salt what they're saying, because it's often just their frustrations of the moment speaking through them or the current fits of over / underestimating themselves with regard to a certain field. A "proper" feeling in this instance "should" be a sort of amusement mixed with some caution: not to take it too seriously, but also not to take it completely lightly. Don't let it get you down, just give it a thought. Not an obsessing thought, but a thought.

 

That being said, I see nothing wrong with encouraging the child willing to learn to - learn! On the contrary. :) But, if you feel he is not ready to tackle the subject formally, maybe try it out first outside of the regular scope you're doing and see if it's working for him, without pressure, as a hobby almost. He may surprise you... or he may reach a conclusion that he's not ready for that level yet, which is fine too. But I wouldn't in any case a priori discourage the child from learning.

[Joanne]

Yes. My oldest did, in particular. This was somewhat situation specific (custody battle, and he was encouraged by his Dad).

 

A few years later (this year), he went to public high school. He comes home at least once a week with a story about how he learned "X" a long time ago, finished his stuff before the other students and how I taught him regularly and plenty.:lol:

 

That said, the school I teach in is dumping Teaching Textbooks because it is (in the perception of the certified, credential math teacher and the Administrator) behind standards.

 

My daughter, who was math phobic and had the worst grades, is doing wonderfully with it. :glare:

[Reeciecup]

My daughter is now a 10th grader in a public early college high school. All of her classes are either high school honors courses or college course, so they are really hard. Whenever she struggles with them, she blames me, saying I didn't give her a strong enough foundation. She always apologizes for saying ut, but I know that is how she really feels. That if she hadn't been homeschooled so long she would understand all the math better. Maybe that's true, but she's an awesome kid and I know that homeschooling was a major contributor to that.

 

But public school math here is a lot harder than what we did at home with teaching textbooks. They are solving for X by the 4th grade here, and by 7th grade basic arithmetic is barely taught and the majority of the year is focused on algebra and geometry. I had no idea how advanced it was and teaching textbooks really did leave my kids behind their public school agemates.

[Sputterduck]

He's not ready to move ahead, but he's complaining? That's simple. :) Tell him if he wants to be in Algebra now, he can take the extra time to do more and get himself ready to do Algebra. Great lesson in both pushing himself to go further and not complaining, all at the same time!

[RanchGirl]

another vote here for khanacademy.org. My son loves it! But I gotta say, if my kid said that to me in a complaining/accusatory manner, I would be peeved. Especially if he's 13 -- he is old enough to teach himself something, not sit around and whine that his mother isn't spoonfeeding his education to him at a pace fast enough to keep up with the local braggarts! Can't he work ahead in Teaching Textbooks if he wants to?

 

Now if this is not a complain/accusation/blame thing but instead an honest concern, then that's a different story as far as my feelings on the matter. I wouldn't be peeved but would consider it something to discuss and address.

 

Either way, the best thing to do probably is to assume this is him expressing a desire to do more challenging school work and act accordingly.

[KidsHappen]

Yes, my 17 year old. She was convinced that I had not adequetly prepared her for college. She is finishing her second symester with a 4.0 GPA and a few honors. I think she is starting to believe that not only is she prepared, she is also smart.

[Cinder]

But public school math here is a lot harder than what we did at home with teaching textbooks. They are solving for X by the 4th grade here, and by 7th grade basic arithmetic is barely taught and the majority of the year is focused on algebra and geometry. I had no idea how advanced it was and teaching textbooks really did leave my kids behind their public school agemates.

 

I wondered if the OP's son's friend was in a school that teaches the latest "new" math. I was just talking to a couple of women at church yesterday about it. One has a ds in elementary school. She said the schools currently expect the kids to learn their times tables in 2nd grade, and that by 4th they're doing algebra (solving for X) and geometry (calculating circumference of a circle) concepts that are traditionally taught in middle school. If this is the situation it could easily turn into, "Well we're studying *algebra*!"

 

OP, I like the suggestions to allow your son to challenge himself. It's hard not to compare, but maybe giving him some control over the situation will encourage him in a positive direction.

 

ETA: My kids have never accused me of not teaching them enough. :glare:

[Mom22ns]

but they started in ps and know they are learning more than they did there.

 

At the same time dd has a friend who says she is doing algebra this year and she is a not so bright 6th grader doing standard (not honors) 6th grade math. Here Algebra is an honors course in 7th or 8th grade depending on the district.

 

My dd does tend to compare herself, but we work at her pace. She knows there are a few who are ahead of her, but she is moving as fast and she can and that satisfies her.

 

As far as TT is concerned, we did a placement test with ds when he started homeschooling at the beginning of 6th grade. He tested into pre-algebra which I knew he was not ready for. We tried TT7 (loaned by a friend) and found it too far behind where he was. Math was his weakest subject. We decided TT just didn't have enough in it to compare to our public schools which are excellent and moved on.