Miss Cornelia Snook Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 DH would like us to have another baby, and as my kids and I watch old home movies, I get a bit baby hungry as well. We have three children now (8, 5 1/2 and 2 1/2) and everyone's potty-trained and we're on our way out of the terrible twos, for the last time. Life is getting good. I get morning sickness for the first half of pregnancy. The second half is usually fine. Then after I deliver, I'm a wreck emotionally for several months (I got by without antidepressants for my first and third babies). I worry about the (admittedly temporary) effects it would have on my children if I were to have another baby. I also worry about the effect it would have on our homeschooling. I am not at all sure I could teach very well or consistently while battling morning sickness, and while trying to nurse a baby. My last baby was colicky and she was enough to make me swear off any more children. Hard, HARD baby! I can't teach if I have another like her--I had to hold her constantly for the first six months, and still she cried plenty! (We started homeschooling when she was 13 mos. old, and had turned into a reasonable baby!) Help me put this in perspective. I feel like in many ways, my reasons to "quit" are selfish. (Just the thought of someday soon having a clean kitchen floor can make me swoon! And then the thought of nursing again kills me!) However, I feel that God would want me to bring another child into the world, and into my family. I have often felt like someone is missing from our fold, like there is another little boy who should be here. (Though another girl would be more convenient--I got rid of all the boy clothes!) Can I make it work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Then after I deliver, I'm a wreck emotionally for several months (I got by without antidepressants for my first and third babies). I worry about the (admittedly temporary) effects it would have on my children if I were to have another baby. This would be enough for me to not want any more. In fact, it is the reason I don't want to have anymore. I am not the same person when I'm so sleep deprived and exhausted and I will not put my children through it again, even if it's temporary. However, that's just me. Only you know how bad it is during this stage, but this would be my biggest concern. Homeschooling would not really be a problem, you could find a way, make a way, take a break, watch videos, whatever, it could work. And DH may want more, but most of the burden would fall on you. If you aren't 100% on board, you may want to wait until you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 They're all young enough right now that it won't matter one bit if you lose 4 months (or more) to a new baby. You'll probably find some ways to keep a bit of math going and have them reading daily. But really, if the fancy schoolwork (latin, history, etc.) doesn't get done formally or is relegated to book basket and audiobooks, they'll still be fine. That's what we did (my kids are 9 1/2 years apart), and we were fine. But do that in junior high or high school and it's not quite so pretty. So I say have the baby now. Get crankin. Besides, my babies don't seem to come on the drop of a dime. I think people who can have babies should have all they yearn for. Sometimes we fear the wrong things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 (edited) Yes. Of course it can be done. The question is if you are willing and able to make it happen. No one here knows that. ETA: I've had hmg with all pregnancies except this one. I learned early to keep a trash can/kitchen sink nearby, to school from the bed or sofa, that all kids should have chores, and spouses who step in for each other instead of keeping score is a must. Edited March 17, 2011 by Martha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I agree that, at those ages, I wouldn't worry about it having an impact on homeschooling. I'm managing to get by okay with the majority of schooling for my 7th, 3rd, and 2nd graders, but it was a lot easier 3 years ago! The rest of it... Well, only you can know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiseOwlKnits Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 It's not proving to be possible for me, but I have Hyperemesis Gravidum for the entire pregnancy. We're going to be taking a very light schedule till this baby is born. And then doing something permanent to make sure that this doesn't happen again. I'm not so worried about after the baby is born. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Yes it is very possible. My 4th baby was a terrible sleeper, and wanted held a lot. We still managed to have an excellent school year. I just held him, or nursed him while we did school. We also school while he naps. He is 16 months now, and is still pretty clingy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Whether you want to have another child or not is not something any of us can decide for you, but I can definitely help you talk it through. I think it can be possible to teach well during a difficult pregnancy and while breastfeeding. I have homeschooled from day one, starting with true teaching when my oldest was first ready for any sort of education. I taught him through the infancy of his brother, and taught both of them through the pregnancy, bed rest, weeks of NICU visits (1.5 hrs from home) and then nursing, dealing with in-home therapies, and on and on and on after our 3rd was born. Their education didn't suffer, even though what they got from me during that time did not look like what they had been getting from me before that or even what it looks like now. Your children are young enough that any disruption to schooling at this point will not have lasting effects or long term impact on the quality of their education in the long run. If you feel led to have another child, go for it and don't let 'will their schooling suffer?' be the stopping, deciding factor. If you are unsure about having another, don't let 'yes, you can do this' push you to say yes before you are ready. But yes, if you do have another, you can certainly school your children during and after a pregnancy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koerarmoca Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 It is very possible. providing you have a relatively easy pregnancy you could always move a little faster in some areas, do some weekend schooling, or summer schooling so that you can take some time off when the baby arrives. Schooling on sleep deprivation isn't easy but it might be a good time to try some independent work, workboxes or some other less hands on solutions. I found I got a great deal of schooling done while nursing. I would nurse in a wrap style carrier so I could sit and read to the kids. fwiw- I almost never find any reasons to tell someone NOT to have a baby :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnowWhite Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 It's definitely possible. (though my kids were older with this last birth). Since this is dh's idea, I'd milk it for whatever it's worth. I had a doula last time and a natural birth, which was FABULOUS and had everything to do with how well we transitioned. It also helped that we were able to finish school six weeks before my due date (wound up being 9.5 weeks before the birth!) My SIL is not even homeschooling, but she had PPD last postpartum and she's going to have a postpartum doula as well. I think that will be fantastic to help her with the nursing relationship, etc. I think a mommy's helper employee should be a weekly event, at least! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I know that people here tend to err on the side of having more babies, but if I were in your shoes, I would think very carefully first. I know that, for me, I wouldn't want to bring a new life into the world unless I was absolutely certain it was the right thing to do for me and my family. Personally, if I had any doubt in my mind, I would not have another one. You can always wait and think about it further, but once you've had the child, you can't exactly undo it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Cornelia Snook Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Thank you all for sharing your thoughts with me. We had an AWFUL terrible two day with my daughter...I can't wait till she's a bit older and less of a hassle. I can see that we need to put a lot more thought and prayer into this decision! But I appreciate the reassurance that it can be done. And thank you to the poster(s) who pointed out that my kids are young enough that missing time here and there won't kill them...that was a good point which I hadn't considered before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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