What is grade level writing for 5th grade?

[In The Great White North]

I recently looked at some of my sister's 10th grade Expository Writing essays from 1980 and they were much worse than I remembered.:001_smile: Makes me think I have no idea what 5th grade writng really should look like (or 6th, or 7th...10th, 11th) This makes it very difficult to know what to expect/ ask of my dc in the way of writing. After several rewrites, they have a nice enough end product but much of that is a result of my editing, not their writing.

 

So, could you please post unedited (ie. 1st draft) examples of your dc's work and say what grade they are finishing up?

 

TIA

[Sue G in PA]

That is a difficult questions to answer b/c each child is so different. I wish their were some magic formula (sort of like reading levels) that would tell me if my child were writing on "grade level", but alas...I think it is so subjective! I tend to be over critical and over-estimate what my dc's writing should "look like". That comes from being a natural writer myself...dh, too. Writing always came naturally for me. It doesn't for my dd. She struggles. Ds9, on the other hand, can write and write and write (creatively, that is). That is another issue. Creative writing vs. essay or expository or report writing, KWIM? Some kids are just naturally creative. Others are not. I know I'm not really answering your question (I'm sorry!) but just throwing out some random thoughts. I think it is more important that we set goals for our dc based on their abilities...not some standard that somebody else has set up. That's just my .02...take it for what it is worth. :) But, just so I can say that I've answered a little bit of your question...I think a 5th grader should be able to write paragraphs of 4-5 sentences that make sense and short papers with maybe 4-5 paragraphs (topic paragraph, 2-3 para. for body and a conclusive paragraph). My 5th grader (11yo) has trouble with this, actually, but we are working on it. SWB would probably disagree with me! She would really be the one to ask, I think. Perhaps pose this question w/in the WWE mega-thread, too?

[In The Great White North]

I know it's highly variable. I was hoping with enough samples, I could get an idea of "average."

 

Are there any web sites with samples of children's writing?

[Sue G in PA]

I'm sorry I really didn't answer your question. I know what you were asking but I really didn't have a "sample" to post. I wish I could direct you to a website, but I'm sure some others will post a "real" answer to your question soon! :)

[Colleen in NS]

"A group of Palestinians assassinated two Israeli competitors in the Olympics and captured nine more. German police offered to take the terrorists where they wanted to go, but then opened fire on them. Both the terrorists and their prisoners were killed."

 

This was his history narration today. He indented the paragraph, too, but I can't make it indent for this post - don't know why it won't work....

 

EDIT: oops, I just reread your post and am thinking now that you wanted higher grade level samples. Hope this helps anyway! :)

[Kimber]

my dd10 would never have been able to spell most of those words. Her spelling, while improving, is still very, very bad. So I personally judge my dd's writing by content and structure, not spelling. My dd is also a lazy writer--her oral narrations are very fluid while her handwritten ones are extremely stifled. But we're working on this too.

[Lori D.]

Bear in mind that students in 4th-8th grade will vary *widely* -- the writing portion of the brain develops at very different ages for different students, as does the ability to take what is in your head and physically get it down on paper. So I'd only use the samples as a very general guideline. BEST of luck! Warmly, Lori D.

 

 

Oregon state guidelines for what to teach for 5th grade writing:

http://www.greatschools.net/cgi-bin/showarticle/725

 

 

Here's a page with links to samples of 5th grade Oregon student writing:

http://www.ode.state.or.us/search/page/?=529

 

 

Page with links to samples of various levels of 5th grade writing from Tennessee:

http://www.tennessee.gov/education/assessment/tswritinggr5.shtml

[Rhondabee]

4th grade ds (edits in parentheses to help you understand only!) - very average, but highly active kid - These are not ones we have re-worked in grammar/dictation time.

 

Nat Turners Rebellion

 

Nat Turner was a slave living in virgina at a plantation. He was a black minister. Nat Turner thought that God wanted him to bring slave freedom. An eclipse happened and that made him think it was time to battle. When he was preaching he talked about black souls and white souls in battle with blood everywhere. The night of the eclipse he killed 50 white men. he was eventully foiled exacuted and in the end he just made slaves have to work harder. Now slaves could not own guns, ministers couldn't preach, meet, or even pay to buy their freedom. They were also not allowed to learn to read or write.

 

 

(on Bolivar and Venezuela)

 

At first (all) Bolivar wanted was a new country then he wanted to be the king of South America. Everything went wrong after words he kept getting greedy greedier and greedier his greed lead his downfall.

 

(on Trail of Tears)

 

A long time ago there was the Indian Removal act and the 7th presedent Andrew Jackson even thought of the idea. There were actully five civilized tribes Chickitaw, Chocktaw, Creek, Seminole, and cherokee. It said he the Presedent could just take away land from any indian tribe he wanted. the cherekee were almost all wiped out because of the trail of tears.

 

*****

 

Lest you give up hope, it will get better. My older son (now in 7th) couldn't write nearly that much (and no where *near* that well) in 5th grade, and here's his summary of Shaka Zulu just a few weeks ago He edited, but I did not - he did end it at exactly one page, because that assignment said "one page", so it ends rather abruptly. We are working now on looking through old narrations and dividing them into proper paragraphs, but this is his "original":

 

Africa was not a peaceful country when Shaka was ruling. By the time he died, two million people had died from ten years of fighting. The English sometimes called Africa the "Dark Continent" because it felt like peering into a dark room of history. The Africans could not write, so much of their history is lost.

 

However Shaka's history was written by a few English merchants. We know of his childhood and of his mother. Shaka was born in the Zulu tribe, but he and his mother were shunned because of a rumor: that Shaka's father's and mother's clans were too close for marriage. Both of them had to flee to Mtetwa where Shaka grew up. Shaka's fame grew, and the King of Mtetwa ordered him to recapture and rule the Zulu tribe. Shaka didn't even have to fight. The Zulus were so scared; they made him chief instantly. Now the first thing Shaka did was to kill anyone who had wronged him in the past. Then he improved his soldiers. He made them fight in a formation and gave them short spears for stabbing. This ends Shaka's story, for the most part, for now the mfecane starts.

 

***********

 

Anyway, hope that helps! I tell my boys all the time that the worst part of homeschooling is that they cannot hear other kids' ideas and writing. It is always interesting to me how different kids pick up on different parts of the story, or express things *so* differently than I would. I think alot of writing is "caught, not taught", and I've often wanted to post the same request, but was too chicken!

 

Rhonda

[Rhondabee]

my ds wouldn't be able to spell those words, either. I try to make a list of proper names and places for him (and sometimes that doesn't help!). He just doesn't have the where-withal to look them up in SOTW for himself!

 

Sometimes (rarely) I do this in advance. Usually I write them on a sheet of paper or a small-ish whiteboard while we read.

 

(yeah, that means he's not reading it for himself, yet, either - ugh! there's always more to be done, isn't there?)

 

 

:)

Rhonda

[Zee]

Ds, 10 finishing up 5th grade. He wrote this about a month ago. We had to set it aside for a special project. It is unedited at this point. The assignment was to to summarize "God King" using IEW's Story Sequence chart. No dressups requested.

 

Taharka is a reluctant prince that has a compassionate heart and is a teenager and the main character in God King. Shabataka is Taharka's brother and a man. He is favored, and is well-trained to be Pharoh. Another Main carecter is Hezekiah. He is the king of Judah, during the 8th centuary b.C. The Main place in the story is kush, where the palace is, and Taharka calles it an "Iorn cage."

When Taharka is accidently croaned Pharow of Egypt instead of Shabataka, Shabataka becomes angry because he was gromeed to be pharoh. So, he plots to kill Taharka. Later, Taharka runs away becouse of assyrian assasonaters, and Shabataka takes advantige that Taharka ran away, and takes the crown. he also Proclaims to be king because no one had seen Taharka's face. When Taharka hears about this he is enraged! He flees to Isriall whith the Prophet Amos, to see king Hezekiah. But when Jerusalem is under attack from Shabataka, Taharka and Amos convince the soldirrs that Taharka is Pharoh. Then Tharka gets crowned and Shabataka banished from Egypt. Taharka realizes the crown is important and he needs to do his desires and he becomes wise.

 

Lots of spelling and capitalization issues, run-on sentences and unclear ideas, BUT...the main story is here and it is in an ordered fashion. I try not to touch my son's sons writing too much when editing, as far as content goes, but sometimes a heavy hand is needed. I always edit with ds beside me and we talk each change through. To give an idea of how I would edit this, I am putting the part that we have edited together below. It isn't all, but it will give you an idea. I changed the wording quite a bit more than usual here, but all of his ideas are here.

 

Taharka is a ruluctant, teenage prince that has a compassionate heart. Shabataka is Taharka's brother. A few years older than Taharka, he is favored and well-trained to be Pharoah. This story takes place during the reign of Hezekiah, who was the King of Judah during the 8th century B.C. The story begins in Kush, at the palace Taharka calls an "iron cage".

 

I have no idea if my son's draft is grade level or not, as far as content. I know his spelling and punctuation is not. Anyway, hope that helps.

[Rhonda in TX]

I'm putting myself out there with this. This is the highest level we've gotten to in IEW so far - Story Sequence with -ly and who/which dress-up. I do not edit for style, just spelling and grammatical errors. I consider my DD to be the more "natural" writer, but I am very happy with DS's progress with IEW.

 

This is the longest writing assignment we've done so far. Most are just 1-2 paragraphs. And don't ask to see DS's written narrations. They are 1-2 sentences long!

 

DD - 4th grade

 

The morning was extremely clear and sunny. The fox, who was famous for his slyness and red-gold fur, observed it as he raced along the beaten path. The orchard was a good place to find food; most animals around the farm weren't very bright. As he raced along, something caught his eye; the black-feathered, vain crow. She clutched in her hard beak a piece of delicous, fragrant cheese.

The fox wanted - no, coveted the cheese. Flattery and trickery was the way to go, he knew. “My, my,†he exclaimed, “What beautiful feathers you have!†The crow, who was surprised and pleased, remained silent. The fox continued, “Surely you must have a beautfiul voice, for it would fit your beauty and grace; sing a few notes for me, I plead of you!â€

This was too much for the crow, who threw open her wings and screeched a note that sounded like metal on metal. The cheese fell into the devious fox's waiting mouth. He devoured the cheese and gloated, “Your song sounded very ugly, but your cheese was very delicious!†He gave a short laugh and said, “My dear crow, obviously you know now not to believe everything you hear!†The fox walked away, laughing long and loud as the crow screeched in rage.

 

DS - 5th grade

 

One day a black and vain crow sat on a branch with a piece of cheese in her mouth. Soon a fox came along, with his surprisingly clever mind working out a sly way get the delicous, fragrant cheese. As he looked up at the crow, who was in a farm orchard tree, he found a way.

“My, how your feathers look! So beautiful!†said the fox. The crow,who was very flattered at this statement, said nothing. “You must be very proud of yourself!†said the fox. Again, the crow was flattered, but again, she said nothing. “I hear you are a beautifully good singer. Would you sing a few notes?â€

Finally, the crow opened her mouth to sing, and the cheese fell into the fox's open mouth. “Thank you. The song was very ugly, but the cheese was nice. Maybe next time you won't be so quick to believe things,†said the fox. The crow, who was very angry, glared at him, and did something. “Hello, police?....â€

[Kimber]

Thank you for the encouragement. Sometimes I feel good about what we do, and then there are the brick walls that we constantly face with certain subjects, like spelling. Ugh! :banghead:

 

Kimberly:001_smile:

[Rhondabee]

=) Oh, if we could just add "withought" and "Peaple" to the dictionary, my kids' spelling would impove by leaps and bounds!!!

 

Hang in there!

Rhonda

[Kimber]

:rofl: My kids want to know why I'm laughing. That was hilarious!

 

Thank you!

 

Kimberly

[Zee]

I think both of these are good! They are pretty solid with mechanics, that is something I wish my son had down more. He knows all the rules, just doesn't follow them in his writing. Much of it is carelessness, I believe. Your daughter does seem to be a natural. While your son's writing is plainer, it still meets the mark of telling the story clearly and concisely. BTW- I loved the ending. :) I'd be pleased with these.

 

My son, has written some lengthy things, but they are so riddled with mechanical errors, it's hard for me to feel pumped up about his content, at times. I have to try to keep these things seperate in my mind. I'm hoping that the experience of another poster on this board will be mine: that in another year or two, all the mechanics and the structure/content stuff I've been teaching will fall into place. We're going to try the SWI-B in the fall and we'll see if that makes a difference, too. You know how kids are, when they hear something from someone other than their parent, they suddenly realize that the things ol' mom has been harping about, are in fact, true and things that people should concern themselves with.

[Rhonda in TX]

It has made all the difference in the world in DS's writing. It is also giving structure to DD's writing.

 

I'll tell you something else I've done that I believe has helped DS's writing. I allow him to do his rough and final drafts on the computer. Asking him to write with pencil in hand is just torture for everybody! Getting him on the computer (even though he is a hunt and peck typist) has made him much more expressive in his writing.

 

This writing thing is tough. There are plenty of children that have far surpassed mine at this same age, but I am very happy with our progress.

 

Thank you for the encouraging words. They mean a lot to me.

[Capt_Uhura]

I don't know if this helps but check out this Scott Foresman link http://www.sfreading.com/resources/ghb.html Click on the grade you're interested in. If you think look under Scoring Rubric and Writing Models, it gives examples of each level of the scoring rubric w/ writing samples. It even critiques the samples.

[Kimber]

Here is the paper she just handed to me. It was an exercise from CW Homer were they had to write sentence summaries and from the sentence summaries construct their essay. We did work on the sentences together because while the first few sentences summaries were thought out, she finished the last few with just subjects and verbs. She basically quit trying toward the end.

 

 

 

Xenphon was chosen leader of the Greeks and as their leader he regaured that the obey him. Then they began the journy home over deserts and moutains and were forced to seize all their food. The Greeks also fought the persians while they marched and when the persains retrated althought it was night they countinued marching.

 

The Greeks were awake and marching before the persains even awoke. While they marched the neighboring peaple treid to stop them by rolling rocks and logs at them.

 

When they reached the sea, instead of resting, they marched up and down because they did not have any money to pay the captins for their pasage to Greece. So they rodded towns to odtain mone for their pasage. However, they decied to stay and help fight a war to free the Ionia cities from persaia.

 

Xenophon flet proud that only a thousand men died. He then led them to pergamus where he handed them over to their new leader. Then Xenophen went back to Greece and worte a really good book adout his journey home.

 

The End.

 

 

 

As you can see, some of the letters are reversed. And sometimes she uses comma and sometimes she doesn't. I was very pleased that she actually used capital letters at the beginning of her sentences. I know she can do better, but I think it's decent. It is pretty typical of her work--very inconsistent. I plan to spend the summer with her working on these problem areas so that her work is more polished.

 

 

(Edit--Rhondabee: Notice the spelling of "peaple".

[TheCoffeeChick]

I don't have any personal examples for you, but the Writing Aids website has some student samples to read: http://www.lampstandpress.com/writingaids/index.htm

 

They are still collecting samples, but there are quite a few to look through. It is organized by genre, then by level. I believe that level 1 = grade 1. :)

[Rhondabee]

I know that you were using CW for your model, but - wow - that's a really long story! There's so much to hold in your head and have to think about while trying to write "correctly". I can't imagine my 4th grader trying to follow that long of a timeline in one narration. I even make a point of limiting his writing to one well-constructed paragraph at a time.

 

I know our philosophies/methods are different. (I have CW languishing in my attic right now.) But, could you possibly let her dictate to you, then copy her work? Or break it up into (at least) two days' work? (I would do a paragraph a day - but I'm a bit of a wimp.)

 

I really do hate that all our original Veggie-Tales were on VHS, and given away when our last VCR bit the dust. I always think of the Battle of Jericho bit whenever I see "peaple", but it's been so long all the funny lines are fading fast from my ever-aging brain!

 

:grouphug:

Rhonda

 

ETA: So glad that so far everyone on your other post agrees these are "normal" errors. (Did you read my kid's narrations below?) FWIW, I really try not to worry about spelling or commas. It will come. My older ds had to get past the "raging onset of hormones" before it came - and I was told by Jean in Wisc that sometimes that's what it takes. The logic side of the brain will kick in, and she'll become more aware of *everything* - including her writing.

[Jenny in Florida]

The assignment was from English Prep 1. We had read aloud together Rudyard Kipling's "The Elephant's Child." (The note at the bottom says it was "adapted" from Just So Stories, but I don't know how much it was changed.) He was responding to the following question:

 

Did you enjoy "The Elephant's Child?" Write your views. Say what you liked and disliked about it.

 

Here's the first draft he turned in to me:

 

The Elephant's Child is a mythical story about how elephants got there trunks. My favorite character is the bi-colored rock snake. I like him because he makes the elephant's child find out for himself what the crocodile has for diner, but when he is in danger the bi-colored rock snake comes and helps instead of doing noting. I also like how he describes his family members. And so, those are my favorite aspects about the elephant's child.

 

Not his most impressive piece of writing this year. Unfortunately, I can't seem to to dig up first drafts of his other writing assignments.

 

I hope it helps.

[Laura Corin]

I think he's a decent writer now, after a very sticky start. Note, however, the subject's name misspelled throughout, incorrect apostrophe use, the lack of connection between the introduction and the later paragraphs, an unclear antecedent, and the missing concluding paragraph. He also used the word 'suffrage' without knowing what it meant.

 

Fredrick Douglass

 

Fredrick Douglass was a great abolitionist. He was an advisor to Abraham Lincoln, and supported the womens' rights suffrage movement.

 

Douglass was separated from his slave mother as a baby. He was brought up in a Maryland plantation by his grandmother until he was eight. At that age, he was sent to be a house servant on a plantation in Baltimore.

 

The plantation owner's wife broke the law by teaching Douglass, then called Bailey, to read. However, the owner, named Henry Auld, put a stop to this, and Bailey had to continue to learn in secret, from boys on the street.

 

In 1838, however, Bailey escaped, changing his name to Douglass in order to evade slave hunters. He became a member of an abolitionist society and published his autobiography. Then he went on a speaking tour to Great Britain and Ireland, which lasted for two years. This tour was scheduled to avoid recapture by Douglass' former master, who was mentioned in Douglass' autobiography.

 

When he returned from the trip with money to spare, Douglass set up his own anti-slavery newspaper, the North Star. Later, he became an advisor to Abraham Lincoln. He also supported the womens' rights suffrage movement. He was a great man.

 

He cited one source: Encyclopedia Britannica.

 

Laura

[choirfarm]

Ok, I'm thinking my expectations are way too high... Here are a couple of things he wrote that I haven't edited with him The first one is a book report that I thought was awful. He did do some IEW things, but I never looked it over with him:

 

 

Have you ever imagined you are a dragon? Then you should read Dragons in our Midst by Bryan Davis. The main characters are Billy Bannister, Bonnie Silver, Jared/Clefspere Bannister, Marlyin Banister, and Devin Whiter.

At the beginning, Billy discovers he is a dragon. He is shocked. Later, he helps Bonnie escape from Devin, and Bonnie picks him up and flies away. Turns out, Bonnie has wings. They get on a plane with Billy’s parents, when Devin pops out and shoots Jared, Billy’s dad. Devin grabs Bonnie because he is afraid she would fly away, and jumps out of the plane. Jared turns into a dragon. At the end, Billy gets a note from Devin that says, “Meet me at two ’o clock, or I’ll kill Bonnie.” Billy comes and gets tied to a tree. Billy’s dad, Clefspere, come and sets Billy free. Billy fights Devin and nearly gets killed. He goes to a hospital.

After I read it, I gave it a 5 star because it is exiting. When you read these books, I guarantee you will read the next one. There are 4 books in the Dragons in our Midst series, and 4 Oracle of Fire books. My favorite is Raising Dragons.

 

This next one is something I did not even know he had written. To me, it is violent, but then again, they love Lord of the Rings... so this is all his. I see lots of problems, but it is all his.

 

Frodo and the Spartans

This story is about Frodo and the fellowship going back in time to the Spartans.

 

Frodo and the rest of the fellowship waited for Gandalf. Finally, Gandalf came into the room.

“The time machine is ready,” said Gandalf.

“What took you so long?” asked Pippin.

“Shut your mouth Perigrin Took! I take as long as I want!” shouted Gandalf, “Frodo will go first, then Sam, then me.” Frodo walked towards the time machine and hopped in. He hit the button and then zoomed into nothing. He instantly felt the ground. He looked around and saw 300 Spartans looking at him.

“Let’s kill the runt,” the Spartans said. Frodo charged and killed 100 Spartans before the commander knocked Sting out of Frodo’s grasp. The Commander raised his sword for the deathblow, and then his head went flying off. Sam grinned at Frodo, then helped him up and handed him Sting. The brave Spartans ran away.

“Why did they run away, Mr. Frodo?” asked Sam. They turned around and saw Gandalf glowing and looking like a monster. He stopped, and then laughed. The rest of the fellowship came through.

“I didn’t know we would land in the other world,” said Gandalf. The fellowship walked around, looking at the new world. Pippin wandered off, and some Spartans started following him. Pippin saw jars. He thought that they had food in them. But when he found out there was nothing he threw all 100 jars and knocked out every Spartan. Pippin heard the grunts and pulled out his knife and spun around. The fellowship ran up and thought Pippin had killed them all with his knife, until the Spartans woke up and 1,000 more came. But Pippin looked into all of there pockets and gasped. Bacon!!! With a loud yell Pippin jumped and started slashing off Spartan heads and stole there bacon. Pippin killed them all and put the bacon in the center. The fellowship, including Pippin, stared at the bacon in the center, looked at each other, and dived for it.

 

These do have paragraphs, but they didn't copy well.