~Amanda~ Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 I don't know what is holding us back. I'm struggling, and feel like I'm failing. we really had a slow start, and managed to chug along, and then tapered off around christmas, and have had a really hard time getting started again. Some days, they would take ALL DAY LONG to do their math worksheets. I waffled between timing them (after so much time on one thing, allow them a rest and move to another subject, just so we got more than one thing done a day) and sticking to making them do it, which would have them continuing on until nearly 6 at night. and that would be ALL they did that day! I am trying to make myself not be so uptight about it, but I'm to the point now where I feel like we are doing nothing. we took a week break from everything, and came back sort of ... child-led. I let them pick 1 or 2 things they really wanted to learn about, and let them have at it. they are working on notebooking right now; DS chose astronomy/the solar system, and DD chose greek mythology. but I still feel like we are lacking. I need something... I dont know. maybe this is just a whining post. I don't have anyone to model after. I feel like everyone's kids are either younger or older than mine; if they were younger, I'd be ok with being lax. if they were older, I'd be ok with being more strict. as it is, I feel like we are at that transition point of, ok, no more screwing around, but I don't want to over burden them with school work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewel7123 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Hmm....maybe you're using the wrong curriculum? Maybe you need to give them an incentive? I saw someone post here about giving their kids a time limit, say 30 min. to do a subject, and if they finished before then, they could use those extra minutes to play video games, or for computer time, etc.? Would something like that help? Is this your first year of homeschooling, or have you been doing it for awhile, and you just feel like you're in a rut? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Amanda~ Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 This is my first year. and I've tried switching stuff around. I hate to say maybe I'm not cut out for it, because I feel like it can get better, I just want to get past the "failure" feeling right now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 I don't know what is holding us back. I'm struggling, and feel like I'm failing. we really had a slow start, and managed to chug along, and then tapered off around christmas, and have had a really hard time getting started again. Some days, they would take ALL DAY LONG to do their math worksheets. I waffled between timing them (after so much time on one thing, allow them a rest and move to another subject, just so we got more than one thing done a day) and sticking to making them do it, which would have them continuing on until nearly 6 at night. and that would be ALL they did that day! I am trying to make myself not be so uptight about it, but I'm to the point now where I feel like we are doing nothing. we took a week break from everything, and came back sort of ... child-led. I let them pick 1 or 2 things they really wanted to learn about, and let them have at it. they are working on notebooking right now; DS chose astronomy/the solar system, and DD chose greek mythology. but I still feel like we are lacking. I need something... I dont know. maybe this is just a whining post. I don't have anyone to model after. I feel like everyone's kids are either younger or older than mine; if they were younger, I'd be ok with being lax. if they were older, I'd be ok with being more strict. as it is, I feel like we are at that transition point of, ok, no more screwing around, but I don't want to over burden them with school work. I have 4 dc at fairly similar ages to yours. There are plenty of times when I think I'm failing them badly - but then there are also times when I know it's ok. Or it's going to be ok in the end. I think - and it's just my opinion - that you need to quit worrying about overburdening them with schoolwork. 'Cause if you talk to them like their work is too much, they will believe it, and vice versa. To an extent, of course, but I'm pretty sure that you're neither doing school in half an hour, or grinding away at it for 8hrs a day. May I suggest a schedule? It's the only thing that keeps me on track. It's the only thing that keeps my peace, because I know that if we do most of what I have on my schedule, we're doing ok. The other thing you need to figure out (if you don't already know) is your teaching style, and their learning style. You then need to line them up the best you can - this is a concept I came to only recently; it seemed obvious, but I realised that I hadn't paid enough attention to it. HTH some. It's tough getting it all worked out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Another quick thought - like a new business, homeschooling often takes a couple years to really take off/before you feel you've found your groove. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristinannie Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 I think everyone probably goes through feelings like this. I know in PS, there is always a time where all of the students complain and get lazy. I think you just need to take a deep breath. Why did you decide to homeschool in the first place? I am trying to lose baby weight right now and have grown complacent lately. I just keep reminding myself of why I want to lose the weight...to see my kids grow up, to have more energy, to feel better, etc. I would say that you need to give yourself a schedule and try to stick to it (at least until you get back up and running). I was having trouble getting my son to sit through his phonics lessons so I created a little "treasure box" that he gets to pick a cheap toy out of if he does his school well. Cut yourself some slack. I am sure I will go through this same thing at some point during the year next year when we start homeschooling. I see that you have a toddler and a newborn. You might just be tired! Maybe you could see if you could hire a housekeeper to come every week so you don't have to clean as much or cook a lot of food on the weekend to eat all week or ask your DH for some help with one or more subjects. Maybe exercise or eating better would help. Maybe a nap would help! Just don't give up if homeschooling is really something you feel is right for your family. Things will get better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewel7123 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 (edited) This is my first year. and I've tried switching stuff around. I hate to say maybe I'm not cut out for it, because I feel like it can get better, I just want to get past the "failure" feeling right now I notice your two oldest are pretty close in age.....are you combining them for as many subjects as possible? (History, Science, Art, Music, Bible if you do that, etc.) Streamline as much as possible. I also notice that you have two very small children as well. My youngest will be two next month, so I understand how difficult it can be to do school with little ones under foot. Have you taken advantage of naptime to get some one on one school time with your two oldest? I would be curious to know some of your curriculum choices. Are you using all textbooks, or something else entirely like My Father's World, etc.? If a schedule seems too overwhelming right now, have you considered a weekly checklist? I created one this year, and it's been great! I wrote all all of our subjects and how many times we would do them each week. For example....Math is written out five time, with check boxes next to each, Art three times, and so on. This might be helpful to you as it shows you at a glance what needs to be done each day, and for the week, without being restricting or making you feel like you're behind. Edited February 24, 2011 by jewel7123 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxMama Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Those middle school years are the hardest! I least I thought they were. The early years are fun and the highschool years are the payoff but those middle years were work! Jumping into hsing in the middle years has got to be tough. Hang in there! Couple of suggestions. --Do school right after breakfast with a goal of having the majority of your school time done before lunch. --Get in a routine. Dig a long hard rut and do the exact same thing day in and day out. --Don't break your routine for any reason until you have your day under control. --until you have a solid routine---don't blame it on curriculum. Their incentive is to be done by lunch and have their afternoons free. No free time until the work is done. It's OK to be a little tough on a 9/10yo. They aren't little kids and they can handle it! I would decide on a timed routine for this morning session of school. If you decide that 30 min of math, then do 30 min of math. Anything that they haven't completed during the morning then they can do after lunch. Just remember no freetime until all the work is done. Once you get your day under control and feel like you have this under control then adjust curriculum if needed. You are not going to burden them with school work if they can get in done in a reasonable amount of time.....say 4 hours a day. I know I sound like a mean mom! My 8yo can handle it. He gets started after breakfast and he is done before lunch. He wants to be done by lunch so he can spend the whole afternoon doing what he wants. That's his payoff. It took some training on my part....I had to be dedicated to making this happen. I had to ignore the whining or the grumbling. My whining and grumbling not his! HTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherryanne Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Another quick thought - like a new business, homeschooling often takes a couple years to really take off/before you feel you've found your groove. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Another quick thought - like a new business, homeschooling often takes a couple years to really take off/before you feel you've found your groove. I agree! If this is your first year, you all are still getting used to it. It's okay to take time off and find your groove with all being together all day. :) You'll get there, don't stress! Some groups recommend taking 1 month off for each year they've spent in school to kindof "de school" but I know that's not right for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 ...to do those math worksheets. After one hour move onto the next important subject of the day (LA). Take 1-1.5 hours ONLY for each subject. When you have completed all the day's subjects then they have "homework." Take away all priviledges until the work is complete for the day. Another thing - most homeschool math programs have WAY too many problems. Cut the amount of math problems by 1/3 to 1/2 for awhile and see if that works. Make sure you are doing reading, writing, and arithmetic DAILY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyto4 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 I didn't want to make my kids follow a strict schedule at first. But then I discovered it was what they needed, at least for a few weeks. Write it out clearly for them to see and have them stick to it. If they aren't getting work done in the set amount of time, ask them and yourself why, and try again tomorrow. You can do this! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommy4ever Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 :grouphug: Amanda I totally get where you are! I'm new to homeschooling too. And I felt like I was doing a lousy job. But it does take the cooperation of the kids. Sometimes it's a matter of having a family meeting with them. Give it to them straight. This is what will be expect, list the x, y, z that you need. Create a reward system of some form, a great week can get them to say the $ store with $2 for treats. But have a penalty system in place. For each time you say, "please sit and get your work done...." they lose a nickel. Or something to that effect. For my younger one, she gets a littlest Pet Shop($3). But it takes x amount of days, and for each day she gives me a hard time, it's one day longer until she gets her 'prize'. As she gets better, ironically, the longer stretch in between. We started at 3 days, then 8 days, now we're at 12 days. I'll peak somewhere around 15. I can't keep buying toys, but a little reward of some kind makes a difference. When it warms up, it'll be a walk to the slurpie store ;). You have a couple really little ones there. Look at their schedules, and try to school around that. Do they sleep in? Get the big guys up earlier to start their day. Nap time? That is one on one for mom. If you get some solid hours in when the littlest ones are sleeping, the older ones with thrive. Have independent work ready for when the littles are up. I don't have little ones like you, but I have a home daycare, so I have 3 under 3 as well as the 3 I school. So it can be done! I had to move dd11 to work in her room as everything bothers her. She fought hard, then realized that she works very well in her room. I check in frequently and make sure it's getting done. But we went from no work to nearly done the year :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto2blessings Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 hang in there:) It's not easy that 1st year. I remember doubting myself (still do, sometimes). It will get easier once you're in a groove. If it were me, I think I'd take a few weeks and only be concerned with math and LA. Set a timer for how long it should take---anything not done is home work for later (without my help:) And maybe time for their interests they wanted to study. After that gets in a good flow, it's easier to add a subject at a time, maybe one a week or so. I'd try to get them as independent as possible, with a checklist for each. Agree with the other poster about combining as much as possible since so close in age---I'd combine everything except math and LA. Hope you find that groove soon---they're old enough that they can be doing a lot alone and can have incentives/punishments for not doing what's required. If my 5th grader complains about too much work, I reminder her that in school she'd be gone for 8 hrs. plus homework----much less free time than she has now!!! Blessings, Gina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Personally, I think you need a hug more than a kick! :grouphug: If I'm reading your signature correctly, you have a baby and a toddler -- so give yourself a ton of credit. That's a lot of work!!! IMO, ages 9 and 10 is old enough for you to be relatively strict. With our homeschooling, I've learned that habit and routine is everything. So I keep a very regular pattern. . . at least to start the day and that seems to get the kids into the groove. For example, they've started with math, then spelling for two years now. What comes after spelling could be reading aloud or Latin or whatever, but we always start w/ math and spelling. I also do fun things (that I'm sure I'll be criticized for!) like "Skittle School." They love it of course. When we practice their math facts, for ex, every quick answer they get a Skittle. It keeps them involved to say the least. Sometimes I throw in an educational dvd to keep them involved. And my kids love listening to good books -- so they've come to think of these books as "not school" which is funny to me. (They learn new things and build their vocabs through these books. Mary Poppins, 7 Day Magic, The Saturdays etc.) When you're stressed and you have babies. . . try to strive to get the three top things done by Noon. I hope that helps. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VBoulden Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 If school is taking all day, they may be distracted by something... what is it? I'd make sure ALL the screens are turned off (televisions, computers, Nintendo DS, phones, etc.) until all school work is DONE by everyone. Not sure this would work in your situation... but it might help. I only have one kid to homeschool (and one toddler who just puts around our chairs distracting us) and we usually HAVE to start right after breakfast before my daughter gets on the computer, before I turn on a movie before she picks up a game to play... or else the day does not go well. Days that we get in "school mode" before any screen turns on (including my own laptop screen) are days that work much better (and we often finish school before noon those days.) Good luck. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I have 4 dc at fairly similar ages to yours. There are plenty of times when I think I'm failing them badly - but then there are also times when I know it's ok. Or it's going to be ok in the end. I think - and it's just my opinion - that you need to quit worrying about overburdening them with schoolwork. 'Cause if you talk to them like their work is too much, they will believe it, and vice versa. To an extent, of course, but I'm pretty sure that you're neither doing school in half an hour, or grinding away at it for 8hrs a day. May I suggest a schedule? It's the only thing that keeps me on track. It's the only thing that keeps my peace, because I know that if we do most of what I have on my schedule, we're doing ok. The other thing you need to figure out (if you don't already know) is your teaching style, and their learning style. You then need to line them up the best you can - this is a concept I came to only recently; it seemed obvious, but I realised that I hadn't paid enough attention to it. HTH some. It's tough getting it all worked out! Another quick thought - like a new business, homeschooling often takes a couple years to really take off/before you feel you've found your groove. :iagree: I couldn't agree more! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I am hs'ing kids ages 5, 8 and 10. I sit with them and do pretty much every subject side by side, which keeps them on track. They do some independent work but not much. They do much better with a loose schedule (and so do I). Everyone knows what to expect. If they are horsing around and wasting time, I stop cold and take care of some chores, etc. I tell them that when they are ready to continue, let me know but that I have other things to take care of and that if we need to do school on Saturday or in the evening, we will do it. My boys are usually very cooperative so I don't have to do this often, but I did have to do it this week. No anger, no yelling. Just a matter of fact "This is the material we must work through this week and it is up to you when we get it done." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Amanda~ Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Thanks for the responses everyone! What I'm hearing is, I need a schedule! haha. That is going to be so hard. and so obviously the answer. Thanks for all your support, its so nice to have somewhere to go and get picked up! :hugs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Testimony Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I have a question. I see by the children's ages that you have school age children. Were they in public or private school before? I'm learning in another board about de-schooling. That maybe the child needs to be de-schooled first before homeschooling. What it means basically is having the child getting use to being at home and doing things together as a family. Starting off slowly like reading together. Getting use to being in a routine. I am not sure if you are just starting homeschooling or just starting up your school year. You do not need a kick in the rear. Just reprogram your thinking more towards homeschooling. Blessings in your homeschooling journey! Sincerely, Karen http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Amanda~ Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 First year homeschooling. they were in public school before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Well, let's see, I've been doing this homeschooling thing for 16 years now, and some years have been more difficult than others, but I'd love to try and help you work through this. A few questions first (and forgive me if you've posted this info already....I didn't have time to read all the responses): 1. What curriculum are you currently using? 2. Do your children LIKE the curriculum? 3. Do you like the curriculum? 4. How would you describe your teaching style? Do you like doing activities with your children? Here's a suggestion off the top of my head. When my oldest child (now 20) got to fifth grade, we hit a wall. We'd been doing Calvert all along (because that's what I was most comfortable with and what was familiar to me in terms of how school should look), and he suddenly told me how much he hated it and how bored he was. Also, neither one of my kids (my dd is two years younger) could remember anything from the year before (I'd gotten out their old history and science books and they looked at them as though they'd never seen them before). :banghead: So, I bit the bullet and tried a unit study over the summer. My kids didn't even know they were doing school. We all had so much fun, I've never looked back. I used KONOS at the time, but there are many, many more on the market now (although I still love KONOS). Maybe you could "take a break" with a unit study and see how your children respond. They are so close in age, you should DEFINITELY be teaching every other subject except math and phonics together. Anything else is a recipe for burn out. Rainbow Resources sells LOTS of different single units you could do for 2 or 3 weeks together. See what you think....I'll bet your kids would enjoy it, even if you just do it as a breather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Testimony Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 First year homeschooling. they were in public school before. I think getting them use to the idea of schooling at home. I would spend time with them. Do very basic things like you read to them and they read to you. Ask them about what they have read. Ask them about what they have read to you. Relax. I do not have a school room because I feel that their world is school. They read on the sofa and do math on the playroom floor. I would pick a subject and only do that one or do a unit study for a year, but get them de-schooled first. Do you know what their learning styles are (how they take in information)? Do you know what your learning style is (how do you take in information)? It is important to understand your child and how the learn before you can teach them. You need to understand you and how you understand topics before you can teach them. Homeschooling is a journey, but before you go on the journey, you need the right tools to pack. Blessings, Karen http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Amanda~ Posted February 26, 2011 Author Share Posted February 26, 2011 I'm not sure what their learning styles are. DS9 says he doesn't like it when I read to him. He does well with a check list of things to do. My style of learning is kinisthetic. I have to touch it and feel it while I read it. I cannot be read to, either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 :grouphug: we are having similar issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Testimony Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 I'm not sure what their learning styles are. DS9 says he doesn't like it when I read to him. He does well with a check list of things to do. My style of learning is kinisthetic. I have to touch it and feel it while I read it. I cannot be read to, either OK, just to tell you, DS9 learning style is probably similar to yours, but you should check just to make sure. I would get more kinetic curricula like Right Start Math or Math-U-See for math and Winston Grammar for grammar. For literature, this is what we did. Get CDs and listen to some literature on CD. Have the child draw a picture of the story while he listens. So, he is not just listening to it. My sons made the characters into baseball cards (like for Shakespeare). They talked about how each character and their stats were on the back of the card. :lol: They got a book on how to draw superheros. They used that idea to draw and narrate the story back. Just some thoughts. There is a book called The Way They Learn by Cynthia Tobias. I used that book to help me when I first started homeschooling. Blessing in your homeschooling journey! Sincerely, Karen http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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