If you have an anxious child

[happyWImom]

How do you deal with things over time?

 

We new dd had issues, but things have gotten extremely bad over the last 6 months. The anxiety (I didn't know this until the therapist explained) has caused a lot of behavior problems, and our house has basically been in chaos. Constant meltdowns, arguments, crying, you name it, throughout the day, every day. We've just been trying to deal with it. Dd finally is getting help, from a Cognative Behavior Therapist. He's great, but I am realizing that this is going to be a long hard road for a while. And, he suggested I see someone for my anxiety.

 

Anyway, I'm glad of all of this, but I honestly feel like I'm almost at the end of my rope, and ready to lose it. It must be from everything that's built up, but I constantly am thinking "What's wrong with me? I have so much to be thankful for, and I know others have much worse things they are dealing with with their dc, why can't I handle it?"

 

Then, between all of these appointments, and our regular 2 times a month Coop and piano lessons once a week, I'm totally stressing out because I can't get school done. And when I actually do have a day or 2 free, school never seems to get accomplished, because we are having to stop to deal with behavior stuff. It's almost 11am now, and we haven't done anything except devotions and our relaxation breathing. Obviously, the breathing didn't work for me!

 

Sorry to lay all this on you all, but I need advice & support from anyone who's been there. (or is still there)

[fairfarmhand]

is there any way you can drop the co0op and piano for a few months till your appointments are less? There are only so many hours in a day and it sounds like you and your child may need a breather.

 

Also just because some other families can manage those commitments, does not mean that your family is cut out for them.

 

Or could you always make your appointments on the same day of the week? That way you might know more of what to expect each week. (for instance, Tues, Thurs are co-op, Fridays are appointments, and Wednesdays are piano.) Perhaps your child needs to see the schedule as well so she will know what to expect each week.

 

Just some ideas...

Edited January 12, 2011 by fairfarmhand

[hsbaby]

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time right now. As a child, and now an adult, that has struggled with Anxiety, I am glad you are getting her help at such a young age. I'll be honest, my anxiety continued to worsen until I started meds. This was when I was 25 though, not a child. Looking back I wish my parents would have sought treatment for me, whether it had been behavioral therapy, medication, etc. I don't have much advice to offer ad I didn't start getting help until I was an adult, but just wanted to let you know that Ionia how hard it can be. Fir the person suffering from anxiety, and for those around them trying to deal with their mood swings, "up-tightness" (yeah, not a real word!), etc. Good luck to you both:grouphug:

[Night Elf]

First, it's me with the major anxiety among other things. Ds14 has Aspergers Syndrome and mild OCD, meaning he is able to function very well but just feels annoyed by it occasionally.

 

When things felt out of hand, the first thing I did was I lower my expectations. This took a huge weight off my shoulders. I focused on doing what we could do when we could do it.

 

Next I took a look at our schedule, sort of rebuilding things from the ground up. I had to simplify a bit, making sure I do not have appts. scheduled every day of the week. That drives me beyond distraction and frustration!

 

I looked at our daily expectations of work. Was I using too many things? (yes) Was I able to pare down to essentials? (yes) And it was really, really important to look at how much we were doing both inside and outside the home.

 

I know my own red flags and my son's red flags. In other words, I can tell when we're getting to a point where everything is going to go downhill. This means a full stop. I used to try to press through, hoping that my coping skills would get me around obstacles. Well, I learned that the best coping skill is knowing when to stop for a break and redirection.

 

I have tried to explain to my DH what anxiety feels like on the inside. He does his best to understand and he's completely sympathetic, but he can never truly understand how I feel inside my skin. Every fiber of my being is permeated with it and it makes functioning in expected ways very difficult. I am extremely thankful for my medication. I am really not effective in much without my medication. There is no answering the questions of 'What's wrong with me? and Why can't I handle it?' The type of anxiety I have is due to chemical things happening inside me. That's why I can't handle it alone. It's not just a behavior thing. It isn't something I choose to have. I don't choose to feel a sudden sense of feeling overwhelmed and breaking into tears. Why on earth would I choose to do that? But some people just don't understand. They expect people like me to buck up and get over it.

[elise1mds]

I agree that if you can drop stuff from your schedule, you may want to, at least for a while. My DS was diagnosed with anxiety at the age of 5 and has been through CBT with a therapist, and he's in a good place now; he is aware of his stress level and can usually indicate, even if it's not verbally, when he is done and needs to get away from a situation. DD's issues are still not fully diagnosed, but at least some of it is anxiety-related as well. I have anxiety, too, that tends to flare when I feel overworked, among other triggers. DD had a complete and utter breakdown last year, though I don't think that our schedule was the cause of it. I know that trying to take her out of the house was more stressful than it was worth, though. I felt like I was under a microscope whenever I was out of the house, and I couldn't take the extra stress. We dropped Scouts for DS and I nearly dropped violin for DD (thankfully she recovered her will to play during summer break), and I quit even trying to make it to events with my mom's and/or homeschool group on days when we had other things that needed doing. The schedule cutback didn't really help her so much as it helped me, but GOSH I was thankful to have the edge taken off, and not having public meltdowns (or private meltdowns immediately after a public event) was a huge boost for everyone. It helped me be able to focus on the issues at hand and really deal with everything with the attention that it needed. I don't know if this is helpful at all, and you're definitely doing the right thing by getting her the help she needs... but don't forget to take care of yourself, too! Your kids need ya! :grouphug:

[hsbaby]

Beth, you describe it perfectly!! That is why I feel no shame telling people I use medication. It's a necessity. I NEED it to balance whatever is chemically out if whack. There's no more shame in that than there is in taking meds for an illness. I realize it is hard for people to understand how it feels, which is probably why my parents assumed I was just being dramatic as a child. I am just happy there is something out there that helps!

[all4them]

citalopram. $4. No side effect besides vivid dreams for me.

 

My son has/has severe anxiety which really got bad the last year. It brought out MY anixiety...things were really bad. I take citalopram 40 mg and it has changed my world! I also have a script for hydroyzine pam, which is an anithistamine that treats anxiety. Also cheap at kmart only.

Son is doing better in therapy and a low stress enviroment

HTH

[happyWImom]

First, it's me with the major anxiety among other things. Ds14 has Aspergers Syndrome and mild OCD, meaning he is able to function very well but just feels annoyed by it occasionally.

 

When things felt out of hand, the first thing I did was I lower my expectations. This took a huge weight off my shoulders. I focused on doing what we could do when we could do it.

 

Next I took a look at our schedule, sort of rebuilding things from the ground up. I had to simplify a bit, making sure I do not have appts. scheduled every day of the week. That drives me beyond distraction and frustration!

 

I looked at our daily expectations of work. Was I using too many things? (yes) Was I able to pare down to essentials? (yes) And it was really, really important to look at how much we were doing both inside and outside the home.

 

I know my own red flags and my son's red flags. In other words, I can tell when we're getting to a point where everything is going to go downhill. This means a full stop. I used to try to press through, hoping that my coping skills would get me around obstacles. Well, I learned that the best coping skill is knowing when to stop for a break and redirection.

 

I have tried to explain to my DH what anxiety feels like on the inside. He does his best to understand and he's completely sympathetic, but he can never truly understand how I feel inside my skin. Every fiber of my being is permeated with it and it makes functioning in expected ways very difficult. I am extremely thankful for my medication. I am really not effective in much without my medication. There is no answering the questions of 'What's wrong with me? and Why can't I handle it?' The type of anxiety I have is due to chemical things happening inside me. That's why I can't handle it alone. It's not just a behavior thing. It isn't something I choose to have. I don't choose to feel a sudden sense of feeling overwhelmed and breaking into tears. Why on earth would I choose to do that? But some people just don't understand. They expect people like me to buck up and get over it.

 

Beth, it really helps me to know how you feel. I know dd gets upset because she doesn't feel control, and then, she tries to control every other situation because she feels out-of-control from the anxiety. Hearing your explanation makes me just want to hug dd and make everything okay. But, the therapist told me that as much as I want to, I can't "take it away". That's the hardest part, because it just breaks my heart to see her internal struggle. I will do whatever I can to help her, and I guess I need to just focus on that.

[happyWImom]

I agree that if you can drop stuff from your schedule, you may want to, at least for a while. My DS was diagnosed with anxiety at the age of 5 and has been through CBT with a therapist, and he's in a good place now; he is aware of his stress level and can usually indicate, even if it's not verbally, when he is done and needs to get away from a situation. DD's issues are still not fully diagnosed, but at least some of it is anxiety-related as well. I have anxiety, too, that tends to flare when I feel overworked, among other triggers. DD had a complete and utter breakdown last year, though I don't think that our schedule was the cause of it. I know that trying to take her out of the house was more stressful than it was worth, though. I felt like I was under a microscope whenever I was out of the house, and I couldn't take the extra stress. We dropped Scouts for DS and I nearly dropped violin for DD (thankfully she recovered her will to play during summer break), and I quit even trying to make it to events with my mom's and/or homeschool group on days when we had other things that needed doing. The schedule cutback didn't really help her so much as it helped me, but GOSH I was thankful to have the edge taken off, and not having public meltdowns (or private meltdowns immediately after a public event) was a huge boost for everyone. It helped me be able to focus on the issues at hand and really deal with everything with the attention that it needed. I don't know if this is helpful at all, and you're definitely doing the right thing by getting her the help she needs... but don't forget to take care of yourself, too! Your kids need ya! :grouphug:

 

The schedule does make me crazy-doesn't help the anxiety!:001_huh: Unfortunately, because dd's therapist is one of the only ones in our area that works with young children, he's had to squeeze us in whenever he can. And so all of my appointments are on different days from hers. And, the appointments are over an hour away from where we live! So basically, on the days of the appointments, the dc are stuck in the car for over 2 hours, and sitting in therapy for another hour. I can't get any school done those days, because I feel it's important for them to then go outside & get some exercise, and to have some free play time.

 

Piano actually seems to relax dd, so I hate to drop it. And I really did consider dropping Coop for a semester, but for one, I am the leader this year :blink::blink:, and most importantly, I am hesitant to remove dd from any kids her own age. We have Sunday School, but other than Coop, she doesn't get together with other friends. We don't live close to anyone, so Coop is it. In the past we have done playdates, but there's no way I can fit those in now too. So, what do I do?????? And then, how do I fit time in for me? There is no way. I just am stumped.

 

And dd does need a routine, I know that. She had definite OCD issues, and when her routine is off, or it's just fly by the seat of our pants, it makes her more anxious.

[Guest]

I'm dealing with a huge spike in anxiety with my Aspie dd, 14. Others have already talked about medication and behavior therapy, so I'll concentrate on a few other small things. They certainly are not a cure or a fix. But they're tools in her self-calming toolbox. And the more tools, the better.

 

A lot of people mention things like yoga and deep breathing. Dd has always resisted these with a PASSION, for what reason I don't know, so we don't do those but many others find them valuable. I've also heard that certain martial arts help a lot of kids. And some people say that going out to the beach, the mountains, or the desert does marvelous things for them (again, dd is my dissenter).

 

Over the years I've discovered a handful of things that put dd in her "Zen zone," and we are putting ALL our time and energy into those. One is horseback riding. Bonding with animals of any kind is extremely good for people with anxiety. It's stunning and mysterious for me to watch this nervous, anxious, rigid kid relax and be totally calm around horses and even keep her cool when she's on one that spooks and bucks. We have two dogs; she the trainer (they do some great tricks, but are notoriously bad at coming when called -- I'm the one who gets to work on that). I'm looking to have her work with animals in other ways at some point.

 

Another is music. Dd has found the kind of music she loves and is increasingly able to realize that by listening and choosing what to listen to, she can moderate her moods and lift her anxiety, even if only temporarily.

 

The final one is building with Legos. There's a lot written on various posts about Legos as an academic tool for future engineers, etc., but for dd, they are something that somehow lets her escape her worries. I think jigsaw puzzles do the same thing for me; I can set them out and work at them for hours, forgetting the time, things I have to do, etc.

 

Anyway, following this thread with great interest. Dd's favorite horse at the school where she rides was sold in late November, and she refused to ride for a month. This is when her anxiety surged and I realized quite how dependent she is on contact with them (and on the physical exercise they provide, because she did NOTHING for a month but move from couch to table to bed). She has just been coaxed and enticed back this week and I am SO relieved; but also I'm aware now of just how fragile and dependent on circumstances she can be.

[Plucky]

I would scale back all activities and get your anxiety under control either with therapy and/or meds. Your dd may have inherited her anxiety from you. Once you are not reacting to the situation you'll be better able to help her handle anxiety.

[Verity]

How do you deal with things over time?

 

We new dd had issues, but things have gotten extremely bad over the last 6 months. The anxiety (I didn't know this until the therapist explained) has caused a lot of behavior problems, and our house has basically been in chaos. Constant meltdowns, arguments, crying, you name it, throughout the day, every day. We've just been trying to deal with it. Dd finally is getting help, from a Cognative Behavior Therapist. He's great, but I am realizing that this is going to be a long hard road for a while. And, he suggested I see someone for my anxiety.

 

Anyway, I'm glad of all of this, but I honestly feel like I'm almost at the end of my rope, and ready to lose it. It must be from everything that's built up, but I constantly am thinking "What's wrong with me? I have so much to be thankful for, and I know others have much worse things they are dealing with with their dc, why can't I handle it?"

 

Then, between all of these appointments, and our regular 2 times a month Coop and piano lessons once a week, I'm totally stressing out because I can't get school done. And when I actually do have a day or 2 free, school never seems to get accomplished, because we are having to stop to deal with behavior stuff. It's almost 11am now, and we haven't done anything except devotions and our relaxation breathing. Obviously, the breathing didn't work for me!

 

Sorry to lay all this on you all, but I need advice & support from anyone who's been there. (or is still there)

 

Tammi,

I struggle with some anxiety problems and have an Aspie son who deals with anxiety. I've been there where you are except we haven't received any treatment - we only got the aspie diagnosis a few months ago though I've known that he had Aspergers for years.

 

I'm here to "officially" give you permission to take a break from formal school while you get therapies and treatments worked out. One of the beauties of homeschooling is being able to focus on what is important for your family. I agree that kids need time to play outside, exercise and get free play time - if car rides to necessary appointments are taking up alot of time I suggest having the kids listen to audio books on the drive and do puzzles, map games, soduko or other kinds of math puzzles, play with playdough or legos (carried in ziplock bags) while riding and waiting in the dr's office.

 

Bailing on your coop would be tough especially since you are the leader; however, if you honestly don't have the time and energy this year because a *family medical* situation has come up (that's what anxiety disorder is!) then most people would be understanding about you stepping down. If not, they aren't friends. What your child needs most is for you to not be under tremendous pressures so that you can be peaceful and healthy and create a calm and peaceful atmosphere at home.

 

Pare back to basics or even take a few weeks off from school - the kids can continue reading and so forth and it won't harm them for life. Stress and anxiety can.

 

For yourself you need to find 30 minutes (at least) a day where you can get away from the kids and get some exercise. This past year I started walking the dogs around the neighborhood for about thirty minutes a day, I left the kids at home doing their "happy" things (tv shows, video games so they honestly didn't get off the couch the whole time!) and got some fresh air, exercise and a little peace. It has worked wonders with my anxiety issues and helps me to be a better mom to the kids. I figured out that one of the things that was setting off my aspie was that when I was stressed and upset he would become more stressed and upset too - it is a vicious cycle. Now I walk every morning listening to my iPod before I start teaching. This way I can bring a relaxed and calm attitude to whatever the day brings.

 

If you can't get out during the day hours (or before the work day starts) then get that time at night when dh can help out, or a friend or parent can assist you. You need some time just as much as your kids need free play and exercise.

 

I hope that you can find a path to get what you and your kids need most. Priorities have to include mental and physical health before education - give yourself permission to take care of those priorities first.

 

:grouphug:

[happyWImom]

Tammi,

I struggle with some anxiety problems and have an Aspie son who deals with anxiety. I've been there where you are except we haven't received any treatment - we only got the aspie diagnosis a few months ago though I've known that he had Aspergers for years.

 

I'm here to "officially" give you permission to take a break from formal school while you get therapies and treatments worked out. One of the beauties of homeschooling is being able to focus on what is important for your family. I agree that kids need time to play outside, exercise and get free play time - if car rides to necessary appointments are taking up alot of time I suggest having the kids listen to audio books on the drive and do puzzles, map games, soduko or other kinds of math puzzles, play with playdough or legos (carried in ziplock bags) while riding and waiting in the dr's office.

 

Bailing on your coop would be tough especially since you are the leader; however, if you honestly don't have the time and energy this year because a *family medical* situation has come up (that's what anxiety disorder is!) then most people would be understanding about you stepping down. If not, they aren't friends. What your child needs most is for you to not be under tremendous pressures so that you can be peaceful and healthy and create a calm and peaceful atmosphere at home.

 

Pare back to basics or even take a few weeks off from school - the kids can continue reading and so forth and it won't harm them for life. Stress and anxiety can.

 

For yourself you need to find 30 minutes (at least) a day where you can get away from the kids and get some exercise. This past year I started walking the dogs around the neighborhood for about thirty minutes a day, I left the kids at home doing their "happy" things (tv shows, video games so they honestly didn't get off the couch the whole time!) and got some fresh air, exercise and a little peace. It has worked wonders with my anxiety issues and helps me to be a better mom to the kids. I figured out that one of the things that was setting off my aspie was that when I was stressed and upset he would become more stressed and upset too - it is a vicious cycle. Now I walk every morning listening to my iPod before I start teaching. This way I can bring a relaxed and calm attitude to whatever the day brings.

 

If you can't get out during the day hours (or before the work day starts) then get that time at night when dh can help out, or a friend or parent can assist you. You need some time just as much as your kids need free play and exercise.

 

I hope that you can find a path to get what you and your kids need most. Priorities have to include mental and physical health before education - give yourself permission to take care of those priorities first.

 

:grouphug:

 

Thanks so much for this! I do have friends to talk to, but I don't think they really understand how stressful all of this is, and what it's really like. It helps soooo much to have people like you (and all of the other ladies:001_smile:) who really "get" it. I don't feel so alone, then.

 

I do think that I need to back off the formal stuff, and not worry about finishing our curriculum. I talked with my dc today, and I said that the main thing we really need to do every day is silent & read aloud reading, and some form of math. Whether it's an actual lesson, or a page from Math M or another workbook, I don't care, just something. Then I'll feel like we are actually accomplishing something. And yes, the carschooling is what I'm going to have to do. I have Grammar Songs, States & Capitals, and Lyrical Life Science. I will just use those, and get a bunch of science related dvd's that they can watch at home. Whew. I feel better.

 

Now, I just need to figure the exercise thing out. Something I've been wanting to fit in for YEARS! We live out in the country though, so no sidewalks, and it's pretty snowy & icy, now. I've tried working out when the kids are here, but it's not so great. Oh well, one thing at a time.

 

Thanks so much!

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I could have written this. DD is taking citalopram (sp?) and it has made a HUGE difference, but we still struggle.

[PinkTulip]

My DS was diagnosed with anxiety and depression a few months ago. He started on Prozac about 6 weeks ago and it has made a world of difference. The meltdowns, frustration, etc. have really dramatically decreased. I am not one to just jump on the medication bandwagon, but I have to say, I'm loving the effect of the Prozac. DS says he has noticed a big difference, too, and feels better.

[happyWImom]

My DS was diagnosed with anxiety and depression a few months ago. He started on Prozac about 6 weeks ago and it has made a world of difference. The meltdowns, frustration, etc. have really dramatically decreased. I am not one to just jump on the medication bandwagon, but I have to say, I'm loving the effect of the Prozac. DS says he has noticed a big difference, too, and feels better.

 

I wasn't totally thrilled when the therapist spoke about the possibility of medication either, but if it makes her feel better, that's a big plus.

 

What made your ds's doctor decide on medication? I'm just wondering how bad it has to get before they say she needs it.

[SilverMoonlight]

I'm the one with major anxiety (actually full blown Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia, which is what can happen when you wait too long to get treatment...or are afraid of treatment, etc...)

 

After trying every natural remedy out there, I am finally on Zoloft and Xanax, and am finally, finally getting my life back - tho slowly and with a lot of hard work.

 

Don't let it escalate. I lost SO many *years* of my life due to panic disorder & agoraphobia, that I can never get back.

[rwilliams]

My suggestion is to only have one goal for now and that is to reach a good state of mental health for you primarily and then your child. It seems that when we as the Mom are stressed it makes the stress in our kids worse. I would let go of all other expectations and just focus on things and activities that bring peace and calmness. Try to create a list of things that make you happy and relaxed and then do them. For me that is Zumba and eating lunch with my best friend at our favorite Mexican restuarant. If I miss these weekly events, I can feel the stress starting to accumulate. After you can maintain a pretty calm state most of the time, focus more on your child and find activities that will calm and bring joy to her. I work with kids in the home and I have seen the pattern of anxious Mom and exacerbation of behaviors in child......calmer mom and less behaviors in child. Mom cannot just appear calm......real, true inner calm.

[Cindyg]

Can/will a regular family doctor prescribe something for anxiety or does it require a psychiatric evaluation?

[elise1mds]

The schedule does make me crazy-doesn't help the anxiety!:001_huh: Unfortunately, because dd's therapist is one of the only ones in our area that works with young children, he's had to squeeze us in whenever he can. And so all of my appointments are on different days from hers. And, the appointments are over an hour away from where we live! So basically, on the days of the appointments, the dc are stuck in the car for over 2 hours, and sitting in therapy for another hour. I can't get any school done those days, because I feel it's important for them to then go outside & get some exercise, and to have some free play time.

 

Piano actually seems to relax dd, so I hate to drop it. And I really did consider dropping Coop for a semester, but for one, I am the leader this year :blink::blink:, and most importantly, I am hesitant to remove dd from any kids her own age. We have Sunday School, but other than Coop, she doesn't get together with other friends. We don't live close to anyone, so Coop is it. In the past we have done playdates, but there's no way I can fit those in now too. So, what do I do?????? And then, how do I fit time in for me? There is no way. I just am stumped.

 

And dd does need a routine, I know that. She had definite OCD issues, and when her routine is off, or it's just fly by the seat of our pants, it makes her more anxious.

 

Thanks so much for this! I do have friends to talk to, but I don't think they really understand how stressful all of this is, and what it's really like. It helps soooo much to have people like you (and all of the other ladies:001_smile:) who really "get" it. I don't feel so alone, then.

 

I do think that I need to back off the formal stuff, and not worry about finishing our curriculum. I talked with my dc today, and I said that the main thing we really need to do every day is silent & read aloud reading, and some form of math. Whether it's an actual lesson, or a page from Math M or another workbook, I don't care, just something. Then I'll feel like we are actually accomplishing something. And yes, the carschooling is what I'm going to have to do. I have Grammar Songs, States & Capitals, and Lyrical Life Science. I will just use those, and get a bunch of science related dvd's that they can watch at home. Whew. I feel better.

 

Now, I just need to figure the exercise thing out. Something I've been wanting to fit in for YEARS! We live out in the country though, so no sidewalks, and it's pretty snowy & icy, now. I've tried working out when the kids are here, but it's not so great. Oh well, one thing at a time.

 

Thanks so much!

 

Yay for a plan!! Yeah, if the piano relaxes her, I wouldn't take that away, either. Is there any way to take a hiatus as co-op leader and just be a member again? Does she enjoy/deal well with being in the group? Not that you want to stop going altogether if ALL the kids enjoy it, but it could be a good time to pull her aside while the others are busy and have some one-on-one time or at least give her breaks so she doesn't lose it later. Not sure how your co-op is set up.

 

If you work out a way to exercise, let me know. I live out in the country without sidewalks, too, and I hate working out in front of the kids because I get HORRIBLY self-conscious. But if you can escape while the kids are watching one of their science DVDs and read a book of your own, it'd be better than nothing!

 

Another idea I just thought of: Can you write down your daily schedule (at least as much as possible) and hang it somewhere? When DS was having anxiety issues, even if all I did was write down each 'to-do' on a Post-It note and stick it on the door frame in order, that was enough to help him feel like he was making progress and helped the transition issues. You could even put school in it - even car school, if need be - until she's able to cope.

 

I wouldn't write off medication entirely. It could be at least enough to stabilize her until she understands and can properly execute the CBT techniques. That's what we did for DS (ADHD meds, but the principle was the same), and it worked really well. He hasn't been on medication for about two years. The turning point for the doctor was when he couldn't even listen to a single sentence because he was so worked up and frantic; the meds calmed him down enough to be able to focus on what he needed to learn.

 

Again, YAY PLAN! And lots of deep breathing (more :grouphug:).

[happyWImom]

If you work out a way to exercise, let me know. I live out in the country without sidewalks, too, and I hate working out in front of the kids because I get HORRIBLY self-conscious. But if you can escape while the kids are watching one of their science DVDs and read a book of your own, it'd be better than nothing!

 

Another idea I just thought of: Can you write down your daily schedule (at least as much as possible) and hang it somewhere? When DS was having anxiety issues, even if all I did was write down each 'to-do' on a Post-It note and stick it on the door frame in order, that was enough to help him feel like he was making progress and helped the transition issues. You could even put school in it - even car school, if need be - until she's able to cope.

 

 

Again, YAY PLAN! And lots of deep breathing (more :grouphug:).

 

I did figure out one thing I can do. There is a yoga place in town, and my mom has credits for some classes & is giving me hers. It's on Monday mornings at 9am, so I am doing it! I used to feel like I could never leave, but I need to do this. And, I asked dh to take the kids to piano when he's able, so that could give me twice a week. Not a real exercise plan, but 2 times is better than the zero that I've been doing.

 

And writing the schedule down for dd is a great idea. She just got a new calendar that's right next to her bed, so I'm going to write all of our appts & things on it for her. I know that will help a lot, because every morning, she asks "Are we going anywhere today?"

 

Thank you again for all of this great advice. I feel so much better.:001_smile::001_smile: