How to answer the endless questions?

[LittleIzumi]

I'm having trouble with answering dd5's endless questions, often ones that have no real answer, without feeling like I'm squashing her curiosity. You know, the ones like, "Why is Harry Potter's mom named Lily?" (Because of course it's not that her mom named her that, it's WHY did her mom name her that.) "Why is that bug on our fridge?" Etc. And then there are the ones I can and do mostly answer to the best of my ability, like "Why does ds have a penis, why are babies fragile, why does [insert bad guy character here] hurt [insert good guy character here]?" etc, except she will ask these at least several times a week until I finally get frustrated and ask HER the question back, and she'll answer the answers I gave her the last several times, and say she keeps asking because she "has to talk." I don't know if my answers aren't satisfactory (about DNA and growth and free will and greed but very short answers) or if most kids do that. I'm new at this, lol. Her little preschool teacher was talking to me today about it, that dd5 will ask her about everything like "why is that bird black" and the teacher usually ends up telling her "because God made it that way," which is true (in our belief system) but is almost as good of a stock answer as "because I said so," as far as teaching. She feels bad she can't give a better answer, too. Ack. Any advice?

[Ravin]

Sometimes I answer with a question. when it's a science-related question, I often answer with far more information than DD's young brain is geared for, or go to the internet and help her research.

 

She's learned that she'll get an answer, all right--usually more of an answer than she ever wanted.:tongue_smilie:

[MissKNG]

I do a lot of the "why do you think" as well. I'm getting tired just thinking about all of the questions I get...:tongue_smilie:!

 

My small girl started asking "why" a couple of months ago about stuff too. :svengo:

[Anne]

she will ask these at least several times a week until I finally get frustrated and ask HER the question back, and she'll answer the answers I gave her the last several times, and say she keeps asking because she "has to talk."

 

This jumped out at me - this says to me that often (obviously not always!), she is not asking questions b/c she's looking for an answer - she's just talking to hear her mouth move! :-)

 

I don't think you need to feel as if you have to answer all those kinds of questions! When you're done answering, or if you feel she's not really genuinely interested, tell her "that's enough now, go play".

 

Anne

[lionfamily1999]

she keeps asking because she "has to talk."

 

Any advice?

Yes, I would start asking her why she has to talk. And I would keep probing that question.

 

:lol: posted at the same time as Anne.

[LittleIzumi]

Sometimes I answer with a question.

 

"Why do you think Harry Potter's mother is named Lily?"

 

Sometimes the answers are very interesting. ;)

 

Did already, lol. "Because God decided her spirit should be named that when he made her."

[LittleIzumi]

Yes, I would start asking her why she has to talk. And I would keep probing that question.

 

:lol: posted at the same time as Anne.

 

I may ask her that when she gets home (playdate). She also sings in the bathroom but she doesn't need me for that :p

[MelanieM]

We do a lot of the "why do you think?" answers here, and I love the things my guy comes up with!

 

If you think it's just a matter of her wanting to hear herself talk, then perhaps it's time to get her a tape recorder and send her off to interview her dolls. Good times, that.

[LittleIzumi]

Hmm. She says she's only alive when she talks, or that while she is technically alive while silent, her "whole body" is alive when she talks. :001_huh: I will turn the question back to her more often than I have been, and see if that helps. I'm also giving her a hand in planning our curricula to study what she wants to know about at the moment, so maybe that will help, too. If not, I may have to get her a tape recorder and let her have at it :lol:

[lionfamily1999]

Hmm. She says she's only alive when she talks, or that while she is technically alive while silent, her "whole body" is alive when she talks. :001_huh: I will turn the question back to her more often than I have been, and see if that helps. I'm also giving her a hand in planning our curricula to study what she wants to know about at the moment, so maybe that will help, too. If not, I may have to get her a tape recorder and let her have at it :lol:

What an interesting idea. So, speaking makes her feel like she's living, but being quiet makes her feel like she doesn't completely exist, maybe?

 

That's pretty deep.

 

:lol: Keep asking, and keep me posted.

[Tracy]

I am definitely a user of the throw-the-question-back technique. I try to not to feel obligated to provide answers to everything, but at the same time, I don't want to be dismissive of a child that is posing a serious question. My dd5 loves not only talking, but conversing. She is not happy unless she is discussing something, anything. So sometimes when the questions seem endless, my goal is to engage her in conversation rather than answer her questions. Sometimes, if the answer is not easily attainable, we make a game of it, trying to come up with as many potential answers as we can. With the question about why the character was named Lily, I might ask her what she would name her child under those circumstances, and that may lead to a conversation about naming patterns in different families, nations and cultures. So even though ultimately her original question may not have been answered, she will have ended up having her brain filled with information and her heart filled with conversation--resulting in a happy little girl.

[LittleIzumi]

Sometimes, if the answer is not easily attainable, we make a game of it, trying to come up with as many potential answers as we can. With the question about why the character was named Lily, I might ask her what she would name her child under those circumstances, and that may lead to a conversation about naming patterns in different families, nations and cultures. So even though ultimately her original question may not have been answered, she will have ended up having her brain filled with information and her heart filled with conversation--resulting in a happy little girl.

 

That is BRILLIANT, thanks!

[burckeri]

I used to ask the same questions over again just to make sure I would get the same answers. I distinctly remember one time (around age 5) asking my mom something and being very upset when she said she didn't know, because I clearly remembered the answer she had given me the last time I asked. I didn't know if she was lying to me or if she had just made something up the first time, but it made me feel like I couldn't quite trust her answers. With my 5-year-old son, I always answer as truthfully as possible, and I make it clear to him when I'm joking about something. As a result, he believes me when I tell him things, whereas he's not as likely to trust information from his dad, who has a tendency to pull his leg.

[katilac]

I'm having trouble with answering dd5's endless questions, often ones that have no real answer, without feeling like I'm squashing her curiosity.

 

And doesn't she just know that, lol? Yes, many kids have endless questions at this age. Part of it is genuine curiosity, and part of it is a love for hearing themselves talk. They quickly figure out that adults are more reluctant to brush aside questions, as opposed to lengthy descriptions of their dreams or why they don't like leftover macaroni.

 

5 and 6 are brutal ages for the endless talking. There's nothing wrong with, "I'm all done answering questions today; save the rest for tomorrow" or "It's time for you to go play now." Yes, it's important to answer lots of questions and engage in lots of discussion; no, it's not necessary to do it endlessly.

[MamaSheep]

She sounds like my dd at 5--constant, CONSTANT chatter. And singing. If she wasn't talking she was singing. Not real songs, just little made-up things that had to do with whatever she was doing. I asked her once why she sang so much and she told me it was because she was "made of music--music and love". I love the little things that fall out of their minds at that age. If you can catch the little diamonds amidst all the random chatterbugging. Give her hugs and attention and gently let her know when your ears are tired and you need her to go talk to her stuffed animals for a while.

[LittleIzumi]

She read through an easy reader last night (she will ONLY read aloud if she knows all of the words--perfectionist already--so it could have taken a couple minutes tops) and she stopped every page or two to ask these elaborate questions about parts of the book or the pictures, and then 1/3 of the way through she decided the book should be a song instead and went back to sing the words, and still stopped and asked a ton of questions throughout. It took at least 15 minutes to get through "I Need You, Dear Dragon" :lol: but this time they were all really interesting and intelligent questions so I was quite happy to go through them with her. I never thought about why they draw a single tiny curly hair on a baby's head when no babies ever actually have that :tongue_smilie:. I'm finding that with more attention to her and with our new science program (directed by her), she seems to be getting enough attention that she's not seeking it with silly questions all the time. I wonder if she was just asking the inane ones constantly to get more attention, esp with the new baby. :blushing:Now she is much more content to play/pretend/create when on her own time and to ask REAL questions and drink up her new science books instead. Whew. I mean, there are still a LOT of questions but now they are fun questions :lol:

[mom-2-1]

Welcome to my world! My 12-year-old hasn't let up yet!

[Embassy]

The more you can occupy her mind, the better for a bit of peace and quiet.

 

 

Old thread, but :iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

When my son starts chattering endlessly or asking endless questions I know he needs more information going in. When his mind is satisfied with intake the endless questions and constant chattering are much less.