How do you set aside time for yourself to try to eliminate your meltdowns?

[gaillardia]

Looking back on those younger days when there were pregnancies, babies, tots, kinders, etc. and knowing that there were times when I absoutely felt like I was going to run far away and ... you know the rest of the sentence...

Reading some of the other threads reminds me of what I eventually started doing to keep myself sane.

Please share what some of the things are that you do or used to do, that help(ed) you to stay a little more even during school time and being home with children.

I tried to make sure that I was able to take time every day, whether it was in the morning before everyone got up, or late at night, after everyone went to bed or even right after dinner, to either leave the house alone (not to just go grocery shopping but if that's how you get your alone time so be it), or work on a project for a half hour or an hour that is for me, or reading something that helps my faith.

I am not usually very specific on wtm so if anyone wants to get into it, go for it.

What works for you?

[Joker]

I stay up late and sleep in. I've tried getting up early but someone always hears me and gets up with me so I started staying up late. I'm up until about 1am so I get about 2 hours to myself most nights. The girls wake up about 8am and I get up about 9am. We do school 10am-3pm.

[Maverick_Mom]

I wish I were a person who could get up early -- I could get so much more done! But I find that I need the solitude that I can get only in the late evenings. So during that time I either spend time online or I read.

 

I also take a catnap during the afternoon, when possible. It helps me face the rest of the day. :D

[Forget-Me-Not]

We take a 30-min break mid-morning. During that time, I tell my kids that *I* am on break and I don't want to be asked for anything unless it's necessary.

 

I also stick to a fairly strict bedtime. My kids aren't necessarily required to be in bed, lights off at that time, but they are required to stay in their rooms and do something quietly.

 

A couple of nights a month I just go out by myself in the evenings. I usually go out to dinner at a sit-down restaurant by myself and stick my nose in a book and then do some shopping. DH and I try to get out for date nights once or twice a month too. I'm blessed with a very supportive DH and a great mother and MIL who are fabulous grandmothers/babysitters :D

[LindaOz]

Quiet time after lunch. Everyone has to 'disappear' by themselves quietly for an hour - including me (although my quiet time sometimes includes nursing baby at the moment :001_smile:). The kids usually read or color or something like that. It's a lovely hour.:001_smile:

 

At least half an hour of Wii Fit in the morning before breakfast (don't laugh, because I actually do the aerobics and rhythm boxing etc :-) ). I've taught the kids that it is my exercise time, not a game time, so they don't even ask to play at this time anymore. I like to get out for a walk sometimes too. But that doesn't always work.

[Peela]

I have a discipline of early morning rising and its really important to me to get that time in. Even if I sleep in (I never set an alarm- I just go to bed early enough, as well as have chronic early morning insomnia :) ) I will tend to stay in my room until I have done some sort of spiritual practice- and/or exercise, which is usually walking outside in nature.

 

Then I use the mornings from 7am onwards to DO STUFF. As in- mornings are my most productive time by far, so I have always tried to fit most of our homeschooling into the mornings, as well as anything else important that requires concentration.

 

Most afternoons I have a rest and I have been doing that since the kids were babies.

 

Late afternoon, after a rest, I usually catch up on housework, do the shopping and errands, and make some dinner. Dh has worked evenings for years, so for many years, I had a TV in my bedroom and the kids and I would pile into my bed and we would watch an episode of a series together- like Star Trek- and then I owuld read to them. (Last 2 years I stopped evening read alouds). Then once i have put them to bed, since dh is not around, I get more time to myself.

 

As to what I do- frequently, I am on the computer, which is sometimes very nourishing but sometimes just pure escape. Sometimes I have an art project going on. I always have several books on the go at once. I meditate and do yoga. I walk. Lately I am making a big effort to get out and connect with friends more. I never have any problem filling in my time :)

[Peela]

A couple of nights a month I just go out by myself in the evenings. I usually go out to dinner at a sit-down restaurant by myself and stick my nose in a book and then do some shopping.

 

Can I just say that I think this is a wonderful and rare thing to do?

We were discussing this in a womens group I am in recently. Some women were completely freaked out at the idea of going to a restaurant on their own- like it would just feel wierd.

I had never done it- not a proper restaurant, although I had sat in cafes- and I decided it was something I wanted to challenge myself to do, so a couple of times now I have done it- gone to a restaurant on my own, with no intention of chatting or meeting with people, and just .....being on my own. Its is very liberating, actually. Quite different from being in company. I really noticed there are a lot of people out there who are alone, too.

Just thought I would comment on that because it seems that its not so common a thing to do (I guess most of us do shop alone, though...whenever we possibly can :) )

[Halcyon]

During the day: 1.5 hrs daily, if possible of quiet time. I read or nap. Meditation.

 

Weekly: 3 classes of 1.5 hrs Yoga, a run of 3 miles. Date night with DH if possible. Crafts for me: knitting or scrapping in evenings. Television- I love Mad Men and Modern Family.

 

Irregulalrly: day to myself ona sat when dh can take the kids for 8 hrs. Heaven.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I've been taking walks on M-W-F evenings with my neighbor or my sister or by myself. I also make plans with other moms at least once a month. We usually go out to dinner and sit and talk about things other than kids, like books or vacations, etc. I plan a few scrapbooking weekends per year for myself, too. I think for me personally, it's easier to get away, because I only have 2 kids, and they are close in age. DH can do things with them that they both enjoy, and it's good bonding time for the 3 of them.

 

I often wait to go grocery shopping for the evening, and leave the kids home with dh. And, when all else fails, I stay up late on the computer to get some alone time.

[atara]

I have a discipline of early morning rising and its really important to me to get that time in. Even if I sleep in (I never set an alarm- I just go to bed early enough, as well as have chronic early morning insomnia :) )

 

:)

 

Me too! LOL All of my friends are night owls and they think I'm from some other planet. I"ll go grocery shopping at 4am, walking outside at 5am, watch TV & drink coffee at 6am. DH goes to bed late so he gets his alone time when dear son and I go to bed. It works for the whole family. That doesn't mean I don't miss having the whole house, to my whole self, for a whole day. Man, I miss that.

Nap time is from 11-1 so I get my lunch alone (LOVE IT!) and sometimes a quick nap if I need it. The afternoons are pretty much leisurely or going out to do something since all of our schooling is done in the am.

 

To the person who started this thread: THanks for using the word MELTDOWN! I always helps to remember I'm not the only one.

Edited October 3, 2010 by atara

[Closeacademy]

A list of what keeps me sane:

 

some time on the computer in the morning to charge my brain (WTM, blogs, yahoogroups)

 

file folder system & workboxes so that everything is together for the week

 

not stressing out if we get behind/ahead in something

 

having at least 1 at-home day a week (I like 2-3)

 

handcrafts (this keeps me focused, relaxed and helps me work through issues, the kids do handcrafts for the same reason)

 

in busy times (I get stressed with busy), I remember that this will soon be over

 

Days of the week chores (each day has something different assigned to it so I don't have to worry about cleaning/doing it all at the same time)

 

a good rhythm/routine (just like the days of the week, the times of the day have assigned things we do, this helps so we don't have chaos)

 

I also recognized that my meltdowns came from stress over chaos, busyiness, clutter/disorganization. Once I realized that I was able to read, gain knowledge and fix the problem so it was better. I still have my moments.:001_smile:

[Chris in VA]

I try to get some alone time with God, and, since I believe we are created for community, some time with my dear friends. I do a Cursillo Reunion Group with 3 close Christian friends; ideally, it'd be once a week, but lately it's more like every 2 or 3. We talk about our piety, study, and action. Piety includes our closest moment to Christ, and it is always refreshing to be reminded that God is very much present in the mundane. As a Christian, I try to surrender both my hurts and my hopes to the Holy Spirit.

 

I also prevent meltdowns by keeping my marriage strong. TeA time has become more important to me, and we are working on other ways to stay connected. It is very helpful to my mental well-being to feel I'm in fellowship with my husband and that there is no bitterness, anger, or disappointment between us that we haven't dealt with (there may be residual occasionally, but we try to make up and then it's a healing process).

 

Finally, I draw a big circle, as I mentioned on another thread. I try to make sure my personal tolerance for whatever it is that sends me over the edge is not stretched to the limit--You know that line that nobody better cross or you'll let them have it? Think of it as a circle around you--I just draw it bigger, so that people cannot get as close to it and I can deal with the irritation or whatever before it gets to the point where they've entered the Danger Zone.

 

Oh, and of course the whole exercise, eating right, getting enough sleep thing is part of the plan, too. I'm most likely to screw up the first two, but it's a work in progress.

[kmacnchs]

I feel like I am spoiled, being in the early years and will be more stressed as they get older (more school work, less naps, later bedtimes, etc.)...mine are 4 & under so they still have 2-2.5hr naps in the afternoon - LOVE those! Everyone goes to sleep at 8ish at night so I have from then on to chill. Everyone sleeps until 7 in the morning (or at least stays in their beds) and I only get up earlier if I feel compelled to take a shower :) I USED to get 45min-1hr every morning after breakfast while they had room time but now I do math w/oldest dd so she can concentrate better...

[kmacnchs]

Days of the week chores (each day has something different assigned to it so I don't have to worry about cleaning/doing it all at the same time)

 

I just figured this out recently (w/in the past 3 or so months) - WOW, what a difference this makes! I have a clean house for the first time since we've been married - it's WONDERFUL! :)

[regentrude]

What keeps me sane: working 25 hours a week in a job I really love. Then I enjoy every minute with the kids.