First Year College and too many activities...

[newbie]

when do you say no. Dd is in two but wants to start another. I think its way too much.

 

But, I think her focus is to make new friends since she feels she needs more friends.

 

Any thoughts, should I back off or cap at two. She is a full time student w/no job.

[Pretty in Pink]

Are you paying for these activities or for her tuition? If would limit the number of activities if I was paying for them, or if grades were not where they should be; otherwise, I would suggest limiting activities but leave it up to my dc.

 

If she's just looking to make friends then I would think that once she does that she may be inclined to drop an activity or two.

[newbie]

Activites are all clubs w/in college, ie: creative writing club, school newspaper etc...

 

I am just worried, grades might be affected.

[regentrude]

She is in college and an adult. She needs to learn how to manage her time.

It is very typical for freshmen to overextend themselves - and that is part of the learning process.

You should not "cap" anything - you can offer gentle advice when asked, and be prepared that your advice is not taken.

It takes a while to achieve a good balance of extracurriculars and classwork, and usually students who have their priorities right and realize that the main point of college is education will eventually find a good level of extracurriculars.

Also, not all activities are equally time consuming. I had in my classes students with strong athletic commitments, several hours of daily practice - who were stellar students because of their motivation. I had students who dabbled in a few not particularly demanding activities but who were distracted form their goals and who lacked motivation to put in the necessary time for class work.

So, I'd say let her figure it out.

[newbie]

She did do a lot of clubs in high school and survive w/4.0 but this is a new ball of wax and she is not an adult yet.

 

But, I agree on live and learn.

[Cedarmom]

She did do a lot of clubs in high school and survive w/4.0 but this is a new ball of wax and she is not an adult yet.

 

But, I agree on live and learn.

 

But I think learning what to handle, howmuch she can take on is part of the process of becoming an adult.

 

My son is just starting college too- so if I come back asking the same question(or similar) -feel free to remind me of my own words!

[Dobela]

But I think learning what to handle, howmuch she can take on is part of the process of becoming an adult.

 

My son is just starting college too- so if I come back asking the same question(or similar) -feel free to remind me of my own words!

I agree. Also remember not all clubs are very active. Even in college I was in several clubs but most met irregularly with minimal expectations from the members.

[regentrude]

she is not an adult yet.

.

 

Age wise, not - but you have found her mature enough to go full time to college, so you have judged that she has the maturity of an adult :-)

[In The Great White North]

Also remember not all clubs are very active. Even in college I was in several clubs but most met irregularly with minimal expectations from the members.

 

:iagree:Not all clubs are created equal. The swim team demanded 5-6 hours a day, but the German Club met very sporadically. I was in several. It's easier to join now and drop them if you can't handle it than to go looking for new activities in Feb when you are lonely and homesick.

[EKS]

If you are paying for college, I think you can tie your funding to her grades. But I wouldn't micromanage how she gets there. If her grades go below a predetermined level, give her one term to improve them. Then withdraw funding.

 

She needs to have room to make mistakes. That's a huge part of young adulthood. Actually, it seems to be a huge part of the rest of adulthood too.

[Jane in NC]

She is in college and an adult. She needs to learn how to manage her time.

It is very typical for freshmen to overextend themselves - and that is part of the learning process.

You should not "cap" anything - you can offer gentle advice when asked, and be prepared that your advice is not taken.

It takes a while to achieve a good balance of extracurriculars and classwork, and usually students who have their priorities right and realize that the main point of college is education will eventually find a good level of extracurriculars.

Also, not all activities are equally time consuming. I had in my classes students with strong athletic commitments, several hours of daily practice - who were stellar students because of their motivation. I had students who dabbled in a few not particularly demanding activities but who were distracted form their goals and who lacked motivation to put in the necessary time for class work.

So, I'd say let her figure it out.

 

Today is my day to follow Regentrude and nod in agreement.

 

I want to add that extracurriculars can tap something other than what a student uses in classroom situations. For example, intramural sports or outdoor club may provide a positive outlet. My son has a one hour a week club meeting for students who share his potential major. This is not a huge commitment by any stretch. He also signed up for Ultimate Frisbee but has yet to play. His homework has come first.

[Rosie_0801]

Who knows? It may be her extracurriculars that lead to a career, not her actual enrolled studies.

 

Rosie

[3littlekeets]

Who knows? It may be her extracurriculars that lead to a career, not her actual enrolled studies.

 

Rosie

 

 

I agree. Grades are only a very small part of the college learning process -- and far too much emphasis is put on them by parents!!! A strong resume built with activities, internships, and co-ops is definitely worth a GPA that is a fraction lower. A 4.0 student with little else to show is far less desirable to employers than a 3.2 student with incredible skills and experiences.

 

Now, if she wants a top-tier graduate school, she will want to keep her G.P.A. above 3.7, but even then, "extras" can make a big difference in funding decisions in some fields.

[Jeanne in MN]

She's on her own now, let her figure it out.

[newbie]

You guys are all right. Its hard to let go, its her path, not mine.