CarolfromIL Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 (edited) Does your teen have an established curfew or do you manage on a event by event basis? What time is reasonable for a 14 year old who now has Freshman in HS friends with more freedom than I have been comfortable with? Edited September 6, 2010 by CarolfromIL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 We've always done it event by event. They are now 18 and 20 so it isn't relevant anymore. Unless the 18 year old, who doesn't have a car, needs a ride. Then it's based on how late someone is willing to get him. Not a major issue since he's a homebody.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 We decide on a case by case basis. If DD has an 8am class the next morning, she needs to be home earlier than on a weekend night. If we have to go and pick her up somewhere, usually it's between 9 and 10pm because *we* have to get up early and want to go to sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 Our kids like consistency. Our high schoolers ahve always had to be in the house by 9pm on school nights - though exceptions get made occasionally (DD16 has to work until 10pm one night a week). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 No curfews here. I've never felt that they were beneficial. I guess it would depend on the person. If they were acting like they needed that control, I'd have to give it; but I prefer that they practice the values and skills we've given them as teenagers. There were a few bumps at very first; but we dealt with them and all has been well since :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 No curfews yet, but ds is 16 now and getting his license and car soon. We may have to give him a bit of a 'please be home by 10pm or call' type curfew. I don't think that it will be a problem until he starts dating. I remember staying out until curfew, just to be with the guy I was dating. Not hanging out anywhere in particular, just out. Often we would just sit in his car talking in front of my house for hours. LOL The one thing I can see being a possible problem, is that he has started college and his friends are often college age. Obviously they don't have a curfew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarolfromIL Posted September 6, 2010 Author Share Posted September 6, 2010 No curfews yet, but ds is 16 now and getting his license and car soon. We may have to give him a bit of a 'please be home by 10pm or call' type curfew. I don't think that it will be a problem until he starts dating. I remember staying out until curfew, just to be with the guy I was dating. Not hanging out anywhere in particular, just out. Often we would just sit in his car talking in front of my house for hours. LOL The one thing I can see being a possible problem, is that he has started college and his friends are often college age. Obviously they don't have a curfew. Tap- Noticed you said your 16 doesn't have a curfew "yet". Is that because he regulates it himself right now or he just doesn't go out much yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenhwyfar Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 Nope. It's more of a 'depends where you are' type of thing. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 No curfews here. Never had a reason to have one. My son was living at home overseas without a license until he went to college so he didn't have anywhere to go. My middle never goes out without a specific reason like babysitting, choir rehearsals, or attending a class. My youngest doesn't go out at night at all without either an older sibling or a parent. Now my oldest is 21 and he goes at as late as he wants- all I want is notification. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarolfromIL Posted September 6, 2010 Author Share Posted September 6, 2010 I'm dubbed the "meanest mom" because I won't allow the 14 out with friends past dark on a school night. Oh well...lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 Our city has a curfew for all people under 18. 11:00 pm to 5:00 am. I know this because my teens got cited for being out too late once. I don't necessarily agree with it but apparently my city doesn't think I am capable of making that decision myself. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 (edited) Tap- Noticed you said your 16 doesn't have a curfew "yet". Is that because he regulates it himself right now or he just doesn't go out much yet? He goes to friends homes, college, sports, work, to events, and to church. His is very active, but so far everything has been pretty much 'self-curfewing' if that makes sense. He goes to youth group on Wednesday nights...he comes home afterwards. He goes to practice, and I pick him up. He goes to a friend's home and one of the parents bring him home. He goes to a game night at the church once a month. It usually wraps up around 2am. He makes sure he has a ride with another adult, and that is fine with me. I am a night owl so going to pick him up at 9-10pm isn't a big deal to me. Your term self-regulating is a good term for him. If he is going to out past 9pm, he makes sure he has a ride with an adult or double checks with me about coming to get him at xyz time. Sometimes if I haven't heard from him and it is getting to be 8ish, I text him "what is your plan for tonight'. He texts back and all is fine. He is a very busy person, and I can't wait for him to have his own license and car! The thing that I think will be different then, is that he can just go run around if he wants to. We live outside a biggish city and I know he will be in the city some for gaming tournaments. So, for that we will still have a 9-10 ballpark home time. It will be unlikely that we will have consequences for going over it from him, as long as I know why, where, when and As long as I can continue to trust him. I am not a 'lets make a rule, so we have a rule about xyz- before it becomes a problem' type parent. I would rather wait until I feel there needs to be a rule, before I make one...and even then it would be transient. Edited September 6, 2010 by Tap, tap, tap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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