knowing your limits, feedback please

[Carolyn]

Hi everyone.. Happy Spring from Maine, were we desperately need spring!

I'm sure this has probably been covered, but I sure would appreciate some real life advise.

This year and last I h.s'd my son, age 10. He had some delayed reading issues, some of which were sight related, and even though he was "diagnosed" with learning disablitlities at the p.s. I believe some were that mom was not always consistent (honesty, sigh:001_huh:). Anyway, I made some adjustments last year, backed off the "pressure" and started from the begining. He's made lots of progress, and his other subjects are right on track. :) We are going along well, just he and I. His older brother is in high school (a private school)after homeschooling him until 9th grade. And his sister, who's 8 and reading way ahead of her grade level is in p.s....

See were this is going?

She wants me to homeschool her next year.

She does well in school. Shes very social but its not kidnergarden anymore (1st) and the kids are less nice and, well its p.s.

My dilema... If I look at what my schedule is like now, how much one on one time I spend with the 10 year old, and my honest look at if I could even do two at once, I have to say, with an overwelming, guilty sigh.. NO.. How can I possibly be two people at once? She, being a beginning reader, and he were he's at.. Can it be done? Effectively?

I'm torn. In a way I want to be that supermom, and say, sure, I can do it, burnout, nope, not a problem. I mean look at S. Baur, she does all those kids, manages a house, a full time job and writes books in her "free" time....But I'm not her or any of my other overachieving friends and as I get older I want to be wiser and more honest with myself as well, and I think I have limits as to how sane I could stay if I was overwhelmed. I have to work very hard to be disaplined enough to consistently do the work I set for myself in a week. So...

Anyone willing to share an honest view?

I appreciate the feedback.

[Unicorn.]

First of all, There is no such thing as a supermom. Even SWB would probably tell you she is not a supermom. She is blessed to have help from her dh, and her mom. The rest of us just do the best we can and take it one day at a time. Some days we get it all done, and some days we don't. Then we get up and try again tomorrow.

 

I can't tell you if you should go ahead and homeschool your dd too. Only you know how much you can handle. I will say I never, ever, ever, thought I could do it. Some days I want to throw in the towel, but then I think about my dc in ps, and that gives me the boost to get through the day.

 

Something to consider; you said your dd is in 1st, her work load would not be all that demanding next year, so if you want to try it, now would be a good time to start, rather than later.

 

Just remember when it gets tough, "Tomorrow is another day!"

 

hth

[Soph the vet]

It sounds like you have done a great job with your ds and now dd sees that and wants to join in. If it were me, and every family is different, I would let her come home for a year and see how it goes. If she is somewhat motivated she may not need as much individual attention as your son. Seize the opportunity of her desire to have you as her teacher. That's my honest opinion. I will have three at home next year, up from two. My oldest are also two years apart and they do history and science together. The third will just jump in with them there.

:001_smile:

[Carol in Cal.]

she will probably advance in reading a lot by next year, and need far less hands on help than it appears right now.

 

Having said that, no question, it is harder with more than one.

 

I have an only child.

 

I have a good friend who has 4 kids. Basically her mode is that she shuttles them from class to class, teaching reading to the youngers and taking them to music, art, math, and science classes, and otherwise leaving them more or less alone otherwise, and focussing on one student (middle school) at a time for intensive homeschooling. Once they are in high school, she has gotten them whipped into shape and they attend the public high school that she thinks is best for them.

 

I have other friends who try to keep their close in age children together, even when they are at very different levels.

 

These examples just go to show how homeschooling multiple kids can lead to choices that are sometimes less than optimal for each one.

 

However, I have an only. I have to go out of my way to find friendships for her. Sometimes I compromise on my standards for classes or company or behavior, because I don't want her to be too isolated.

 

We all have to make choices that are less than optimal in homeschooling from time to time--most of us are doing it all the time, to at least some extent.

 

What choice you make is up to you, and I commend you for considering whether you really can homeschool both of them in making this decision. I'll bet that it will be harder in some ways, but easier in others. It's a tough call.

[Adrianne]

Homeschooling not only about "schooling" your kids. It is so much more. Its about watching them grow and learn. Its about being there when they accomplish something hard, something they thought they could not do - instead of hearing about it later. It is about helping them through a crisis and pushing them when they need it.

 

It sounds like your daughter is capable enough to lead herself in her studies (?) If so, you will not have to spend so much time helping her.

 

Just think about the good moments you will experience on a daily basis. The "Hey mom! Look what I can do!" moments and it is all worth it.

 

And when you have those I can't do it anymore, I am too overwhelmed days, you just back off and have fun with your kids (or relax alone). Tomorrow is another day!!!!

[johnandtinagilbert]

Each year I add a new subject, or another child to our school day, I think, how am I going to do this? There aren't enough hours in the day. Am I doing too much? Am I stretching too thin? etc., etc., etc.

 

You know what I find each time? After a few months of adjustment (honestly sometimes 5 or 6 months), I always end up working it out. I may not be Supermom and my grand plans may not always work out, but in the end, we do all right.

 

All that to encourage you, you never know until you try. With patience, encouragement, support and diligent effort, you are most likely capable of more than you think. When I started this journey, I regularly called my dh crying telling him I couldn't do it. It's been 9 years and we're doing just fine.

 

Give it a shot. If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work, but at least you can't look back with regrets b/c you didn't try.

 

Wishing you well.

[Ohio12]

I definitely understand knowing your limits. I read some of these women's blogs and I am amazed! But if you and your dd both want to try it, I think you should try it.

 

BUT I think that you should think of some ways to help yourself. If you can afford to have someone come clean once a week or every other week or get some more take out dinners.

 

Another thing is my 2 dds (still very young) go to a co-op once a week and I have a morning to myself. I can plan, relax, clean or cook without interruption. I just really feel like you don't have to "do it all." If you are willing to hs your child which is a huge blessing to your family, that is worth a lot and others can pitch in and help or if the $$ is there, hire some stuff out.

[Carolyn]

It sounds like you have done a great job with your ds and now dd sees that and wants to join in. If it were me, and every family is different, I would let her come home for a year and see how it goes. If she is somewhat motivated she may not need as much individual attention as your son. Seize the opportunity of her desire to have you as her teacher. That's my honest opinion. I will have three at home next year, up from two. My oldest are also two years apart and they do history and science together. The third will just jump in with them there.

:001_smile:

 

So, if I can ask, if you are using, say SOTW and ds and I are on Middle Ages its ok for dd to just start were we are and go on with us? I'm really trying to get a grip here. :chillpill: I'm stressed about doing two totally seperate curriculmns with each child and doing them one on one. Right now I sit with my son throughout all his school work, working with him except for a spelling workbook he does on his own. Because of his reading delays I cant see anyway around that. So, that said... can I just add her in to some of his subjects? (they are almost the same reading level even though she's 8 and he is 10.)... So all that said.. I know that teachers in a classroom teach lots of kids, all at once, on different levels, what I'd like to know is .... How:confused:

[KIN]

I don't do it all by any means. But, we have a routine and it works! I teach each child at their own level in math, language arts - which is spelling, grammar, reading & writing, piano and Latin. Then we do Bible, memory, science, and history together. We do our skill subjects - math, LA, Latin in the morning and I rotate each child and each subject. I'll do math with one, then math with the next, then preschool workbooks, then spelling/reading with one, then with the other and so on. Each boy has their own independent work to do in between me working with them, even if it is only dot-to-dots or mazes, copywork, math exercises, craft and so on.

 

I would encourage you to think about bringing your daughter home. I think with some planning and a routine you could be able to do it. You may need to get some housecleaning help or decrease cleaning standards. :) You may need to not be involved in as many outside activities. But, the rewards are big.

[Twinmom]

I teach my two kiddos at home together, and it is challenging but it works out well. We have a similar situation in that my DD8 (2nd grade) has had some reading delays and other challenges (though she's catching up fast!) and my DS6 (1st grade) is actually gifted and is well ahead of her in reading and a few other areas.

 

What we do around here is basically work them together. This year, for example, we did a condensed year of 1st and 2nd grade phonics and grammar together. This was a good review for DD and sped DS up to her level so I could teach many subjects together. Some subjects they can do almost completely alone, like spelling and handwriting, so when DD needs extra help I can concentrate on her while DS works independently. Other subjects like history, science, art and music lend well to teaching the same subject matter at differing levels (SOTW and MOH, for example, as well as God's Design Series for science), so we do those together and maybe have the kids work on different enrichment activities afterwards. Math is handled completely separately. When I am working with DS on math, DD either does independent reading (get some books below your DS's level for this...it builds his confidence!) or takes a break. When DD is working, DS reads independently...just more challenging books.

 

When things get really tight for Mommy (and there are those days, esp. since I have twin 5 yr olds as well!), they can work together and DS helps DD with her reading. Doesn't seem to bother her...she appreciates it and it challenges her to keep stretching in reading. They really do help each other. And, as far as your history question goes...yes, start DD right where DS is. If you are doing classical, she'll still hit all the time periods on the four year rotation just fine.

 

Someone asked me the other day if they could home school. My answer was, "yes, absolutely you CAN...but whether or not you SHOULD is between you and God." I'd say the same thing to you. If you have a conviction that this is the best thing for you and DD, you can work it out so DS still does well. However, only you and God can decide if this is for you.

 

Good luck!

[oakmom]

So, if I can ask, if you are using, say SOTW and ds and I are on Middle Ages its ok for dd to just start were we are and go on with us? I'm really trying to get a grip here. :chillpill: I'm stressed about doing two totally seperate curriculmns with each child and doing them one on one. Right now I sit with my son throughout all his school work, working with him except for a spelling workbook he does on his own. Because of his reading delays I cant see anyway around that. So, that said... can I just add her in to some of his subjects? (they are almost the same reading level even though she's 8 and he is 10.)... So all that said.. I know that teachers in a classroom teach lots of kids, all at once, on different levels, what I'd like to know is .... How:confused:

 

There is no reason why she couldn't start history with the Middle Ages. You'll cycle around and hit all the time periods eventually. Science could also be done all together. I find my first graders don't take a lot of my time. I spend some daily time working with them individually on reading, writing, and math (about one hour total). They just tag along in the other subjects and it is amazing what they pick up and retain.

[Nestof3]

My boys are rather close in age. They have separate reading books (what they read aloud to me), separate math and separate grammar/writing lessons, but we all do history, science, art and such together.

 

There are so many resources available for different levels for history and science, that any children can study the same topic but on a different level. We use Story of the World for history, and I read aloud the chapters and also the supplementary reading. For an older child, he or she could be assigned an extra book and complete comprehension questions, notebooking or such.

 

For subjects like science and history, there isn't really a grade level. My first grader is learning far more in science than he would be in public school, and he's doing just fine. There are so many multi-level resources on the market for homeschoolers.

[jail warden]

It's possible to do what you're asking. There are things that must be let go while you're doing that. My house is not always as clean as it was before school. On spring break(this week!), we're planting half of the garden and working on clearing out outgrown clothes for a garage sale. I have a pretty good routine for school and that helps so much. My dh has weird shifts and days off at times, so this is what works best for our family. You will just need to find what works best for your family. Don't feel guilty if you don't, but if you want to try it, go for it.

[Peela]

My 12yo son needs a lot of one on one attention due to learning difficulties. My 13yo daughter doesn't need as much attention, and prefers to work independently as much as possible. So it works. We spend about an hour together each day doing read alouds and things together for school. they stay on the same history cycle etc

It is nice that they read many of the same books. We watch the same movies related to our studies. We have discussions related to what we are learning.

Would your 8yo be able to do a fair amount on her own, and then you could do some things together, and with her?

Could it be an advantage to your son to have a sibling there, to just play with, bounce off etc?

Fortunately for me and my kids, the older is the one who is ahead academically. I know it can be hard if its the older that is struggling...but it might also mean they are close in ability and can be taught together in some areas.

Only you can know if its right to give it a go. I am often heartened by my dd's ability to grasp things easily. It is great to have her around.