Anyone else with a late-working husband?

[Moxie]

I think it is time for some changes around here.

My DH has always worked until around 7 most nights. We have always eaten when he gets home then fight to get the kids to bed around 8 (usually ends up around 9). I'm reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" and I'm convinced that my 4 year old and certainly my 9 month old are chronically sleep-deprived.

As much as I hate to do it, I think we're going to have to start eating dinner without DH. The kids (especially the youngest two) must start getting to bed earlier.

How do others manage Daddy working late? Do your kids get to play with Daddy in the evening?

[CalicoKat]

I think it is time for some changes around here.

My DH has always worked until around 7 most nights. We have always eaten when he gets home then fight to get the kids to bed around 8 (usually ends up around 9). I'm reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" and I'm convinced that my 4 year old and certainly my 9 month old are chronically sleep-deprived.

As much as I hate to do it, I think we're going to have to start eating dinner without DH. The kids (especially the youngest two) must start getting to bed earlier.

How do others manage Daddy working late? Do your kids get to play with Daddy in the evening?

Dinner is at 5:30 p.m. with or without DH.

 

Sometimes he works late at the office. Mostly he comes home for dinner and then works in his remotely after dinner until the wee hours of the a.m.

[laurad1125]

My dh's scheduled hours are 9-6. He often works late. We eat around 7 if he's home (though I'll hold dinner to 8 if dh is late) and the boys go to bed around 11. They get up around 9. They get enough sleep and we get to eat dinner together. I know mine are older but we've had this schedule since they were very young. It's always worked for us.

[Wheres Toto]

My dh's scheduled hours are 9-6. He often works late. We eat around 7 if he's home (though I'll hold dinner to 8 if dh is late) and the boys go to bed around 11. They get up around 9. They get enough sleep and we get to eat dinner together. I know mine are older but we've had this schedule since they were very young. It's always worked for us.

 

:iagree: To me, this is one of the big advantages of homeschooling - not having to work on anyone else's schedule. My kids would be very upset if they didn't get to see Daddy every day (they are impossible the few times he's away on a business trip). DH comes home, cooks dinner and then he usually plays a game or goes outside to play with the kids (depending on time of year and what time the sun goes down).

[KatieJ]

When my kids were much younger, DH worked long hours. Often he would come home for dinner and then go back to work.

 

For right now, do what's best for your kiddoes. If you can get them to sleep later in the AM then dinner time could continue to be later with Daddy. Otherwise try feeding the kids earlier so they can say Hi to DAd and get to bed earlier and then you can have dinner alone with Dad.

[MariannNOVA]

My dh's day is very long -- we schedule dinner for 6:15 whether he is here or not (he usually is not). When he isn't here, the kids will be in pjs by the time he gets home, and will sit with him and have a container of yogurt or cheese and crackers or celery and pb while he eats his dinner. Having them in pjs and ready for bed saves a huge amount of time and commotion.

[Robin M]

Our business is open til 7:30 mon through friday. I work two days a week at the shop. Hubby never comes home on time and the earliest he gets home is around 8:30. I always come home on time.

 

We eat around 6:00 and James usually goes to bed around 9:30. Sometimes James gets to hang out with his dad in the evening, sometimes not. Not a big deal since they have daddy days on the days I work.

 

I tried working my schedule around dh before James was born and it just didn't work. I ended up eating my dinner, then again with him with he got home. Fattening to say the least. Harder with kids. I would recommend a regular schedule and if kids are still awake when hubby comes home, they can hang out and play.

[scmama]

I agree with KatieInMich..you have to do what's best for your kids.

My dh works until midnight when his work is in season...so during that time, dinner runs on our clock, and I run a completely different schedule. During the summer and fall months, he's usually home between 5 and 7 pm so I hold dinner until he comes in. During these months, they get a lot of time with dad, to make up for the season time, then he usually works 7 days a week as well.

When they are young, I know with mine, sometimes they get cranky waiting for dinner that long..follow your heart, and your children's body clocks as well. You have to do what's best for your family. :)

[RebeccaS]

DH works in IT. He has regular hours, though I never count on them to be all that regular. :D We eat without him when he is running late and the kids maintain their bedtimes. My kids do not sleep later when they go to bed later. They are early risers regardless of bedtime. So, late to bed means crabby kids and frazzled Mom. My dh is bummed to miss meals with them, but he understands that I'm the one that deals with the fallout of short nights. ;)

 

As for having time with dh in the evenings....it depends on just how late he is. Last night he rolled in at 9:10. The kids had all been long in bed by then. If he's just past dinner, then I have them all ready for bed (pj's, teeth cleaned, etc) and they spend some time with him and he'll eat after they go to bed.

[SailorMom]

My DH's schedule is all over the place - so we usually eat dinner around 6:00 or 6:30 whether DH is home or not. It is normal for us, and the kids don't think it's a big deal. Especially at younger ages, I think eating at the same time every day is pretty important. It is pretty tough on their systems to switch around a lot.

[Moxie]

Thanks ladies! I've been emailing DH and he thinks it is a good idea to eat without him. I STINK at routines but I know my kids need more of it. This is just one area of many that we're going to be working on in the next few months.

[MamaAkins]

My husband works a second job 2-3 days per week and has for many, many years. On those nights, he's not home until almost 9pm. Obviously, we eat dinner without him on those nights. Often, the kids are in bed and asleep before he arrives home. We learn to enjoy our time with him on weekends or other nights of the week.

[micheller1]

we love to eat together as a family but we don't normally wait for my husband. We eat for 6:30, unless something comes up like a sporting event or such. We make him a plate, stick it in the microwave and usually hang out with him while he eats if he's home in time to do so but my kids couldn't even wait that long to eat! Hungry kids = grouchy kids. They'd be sooooo grouchy eating that late in the evening. But structure rules it seems in my house. We all seem to function better. But my husband is away A LOT and may only be home 2 or 3 days a week, if at all, and on weekends.

[wendybird]

DH works until 10, gets home around 11. We obviously eat without him and try to have breakfast be our big family meal. In your situation I would maybe eat dinner alone and try for special family dessert time? Or as MamaAkins said...enjoy the times he is home and plan on your own system the rest of the time.

[MaMa2005]

This is our schedule. We eat between 4:30 and 5:00. DS is in bed at 7:00 and usually asleep by 7:30. DH eats with us on MWF and the weekends. He works a second job on T/TH and is gone from 7:30AM until 11:00PM so DS doesn't see him (except for a few minutes in the morning) on those two days.

 

While it may seem crazy to others, it works for us.