Disney with more than one family

[Only me]

We have always gone to Disney with just the 5 of us. We always go to rope drop bright and early, head back to the hotel for a few hours and then go back to the parks after dinner. This time it is especially important since my dd has knee problems and won't be able to walk for that long and will have to ice her knees after awhile.

 

We were planning on going on a special trip somewhere else for older dd's graduation and our 20th anniversary. Then our friends (from out of town) called and had this great idea for both families to go to Disney together. They have one daughter around the same age as my two daughters. She is an only child. She is nice but of course it is natural that they plan everything around her.

 

Anyway, we agreed to go with and are renting a condo together. We are leaving this Sunday and are really excited. We are a little nervous though about how it will all work out since we are worried that their ideas will be quite different from ours. Their dd likes to sleep late, etc. and I think they tend to go to the parks late, stay all day and then finish by dinner.

 

We also just found out yesterday that a friend of their daughter and her family will also be in Orlando next week. Without asking us first they told the other family that we will meet them at Universal on Monday. If it is only one day it won't be a big deal but I have the feeling that they will end up going to the parks with us every day. How do we handle this? The only reason we were going to Disney (instead of someplace like Hawaii) was to spend time with this family. Now most likely their daughter will be spending most of the time with her other friend.

 

We don't want to cause problems and are really close to this family but on the other hand we paid a lot of money for this trip and don't want to spend the whole time doing everything they want and following them around. Do you think it would be wise before we leave to make up a plan regarding which parks we are going to on which days, etc. or should we just wing it and hope for the best? I'd appreciate any advise from those of you who have traveled with more than one family. We don't need to have it only "our way" either but I think we are going to need to compromise.

[sassenach]

When we vacation with other families, we do things the way we want and enjoy the overlap when it happens. So go to the parks when you want, go back to the condo when you want, and just make sure to communicate with the other family. For example, you could say, "We're heading over to the park at 8, why don't you text us when you get there." Then when they text you, you can pick a place and time to meet up.

 

As for the other girl, don't borrow trouble. All you know for sure is that they are meeting up with them on Monday. Don't assume that they have any plans outside of Monday. And them going to Universal on Monday does not obligate your family to do the same.

 

Dh is missing the people pleaser gene, so he always reminds me that we are not obligated to spend every blessed minute with the families we vacation with. We also choose not to do trips with needy people, so we're all happy to do our own thing.

[Harry Nelson in Charlotte]

Do NOT just wing Disney.

 

We've gone to Disney with other families before, and I would definitely take the initiative to plan what your own family intends to do, THEN communicate that to the other family(ies) asap, so they know your plan. Yes, even what time you intend to be leave to go to the park

 

As far as which park, which day, are you staying at a Disney resort? If so, then there are specific parks that open early on each day for resort guests only. That could make that decision early.

 

But, if you have your own ideas of what you want to do, then it will not go well to just wing it. Disney is not a "wing it" kind of place. If they want to do something that you don't, be quick to say, "OK, you go do that. We wanted to go do this. Let's meet for lunch at this particular time." By day two, they'll get the idea.

 

By the way, texting has helped this whole thing a lot, because you can't always know how long you're going to be in a particular attraction.

 

You might plan a movie/pizza/swimming night back at the hotel on a particular night, so they won't think you're completely trying to avoid them, or so they won't get offended at your divergent plans.

 

Doing Disney well is like I was taught in Basic Training. "Shoot, Move, and Communicate."

[sassenach]

"Shoot, Move, and Communicate."

 

That would make a great siggy quote.

[AmyP]

We went to Disney in 2007 with two other families with children of similar ages. We were very close with both families and rented a large house together.

 

Never again.

 

The best advice I can offer is to not try to do everything together. Maybe have some dinner reservations together or meet up at certain times.

 

It's just too hard to try to keep everyone happy.

[Stacia]

Even w/in our own family, we didn't always stick together at Disney (or other places). Sometimes, we want to do different things, so we often split up & meet up again later.

 

I think it's important to talk w/ this family. Since you're going partially to spend time together, I think you might want to coordinate most of your days to at least be at the same park on the same day. That way, it would be easy enough to meet a few times during the day (for a meal or for certain rides/attractions).

 

If the other family keeps their normal hours (i.e., sleeping later, then going to the parks), you could keep your normal schedule too -- just plan to meet up w/ them later in the day for rides or dinner. Planning some down time together would be enjoyable too (hanging out at the pool, for example).

 

I wouldn't stress out about it, but you do need to talk to the other folks & get enough of a plan in place that you feel comfortable w/ what you'll be doing/how you'll be spending your time during the week. I think some of the best vacations together are where you're not joined at the hip, but instead choose certain times to get together & certain times to be apart.

[LizzyBee]

When we went with another family, we each made our own plans and dinner reservations. When we ran into each other in the parks, we'd hang out together for awhile, but we made no effort to do everything together.

[outtamyshell]

We've had some great experiences vacationing with my sister's family - including Disney. My sister is the planner, and I am not. But I do plan Disney! If you don't make plans you will be at the mercy of the other family and everyone's emotions.

 

I would recommend you make plans in advance for what days you'll be at which parks and get an idea of what's most important to you for each park. Do you want to plan any special meals? Are there any rides all the kids won't want to do? Do they still give out timed passes for the most popular rides? I think planning to do one thing each day with the other family would be plenty ambitious. Say, we'll meet for dinner at 6pm... or we'll get timed passes for Indiana Jones as soon as we get there. The rest of the time you can wing it... And when there's overlap that's great. You can't expect to keep a huge crowd together or it will feel like you're on a guided tour.

 

I usually go early, rest (or cool off in a pool) in the afternoons when the park is most crowded, and stay at the park until closing. My sister's kids have a little less stamina than mine. They spent a whole lot of time at the hotel. But Disney is no fun when you're dragging tired kids around.

[Mom0012]

When we went with another family, we each made our own plans and dinner reservations. When we ran into each other in the parks, we'd hang out together for awhile, but we made no effort to do everything together.

 

I think this is the best idea and maybe you could even trade off with the girls if they want to be together the whole time. I went once with my parents and my sister and her family and it was just too large of a group to move around with. It was difficult to make decisions with so many people and impossible to please everyone no matter what we did.

 

Lisa

[ChristusG]

I've been to Disney many, many times. Some of those times were with multiple families. Honestly, Disney is REALLY hard to do with more than one family. There are crowds, it's hard to stay together, one person is looking one way at something neat....another person is looking another way at something neat that they saw.....you are constantly trying to make sure everyone is with you. Everyone has their own idea of things they want to do, shows they want to see, rides they want to ride, characters they want to meet. Some people like going "commando" through the parks and seeing as much as they can see.....others like taking a more leisurely pace. Different age ranges want to see different things.

 

I'd make a time and meet for dinner in the park, maybe try to stay together for an hour.....but after that, I'd part ways.

[Luckymama]

About half of our Disney trips are with other people----my parents and my sister's family. We've rented villas and stayed in DVC units in the past. For any trip, we always plan one meal a day together. The other times we split up and recombine as wanted/needed, without any pressure to stay together.

 

On youngest dnephew's first trip, we did Fantasyland together as a large group for picture purposes but that was only the first 60 min or so. Our mom liked the pictures with all 6 kids, from 15 to 3, wearing matching shirts :)

 

Address your touring plan differences with your friends. Say "we're going to this park at this time and we'd love to meet up with you to do <a meal, the fireworks, a fun ride, etc>" It'll be much more fun for everyone to NOT try to stay attached!

 

We'll be in WDW too next week :) Just the five of us this time. Have a great trip!

[Lily of the Valley]

We went to Disney a few years ago with some other families. We spent two days at parks together, and the other days we did separate things and then met for dinner. Even on the days we spent together, we didn't stick together as a group the entire time. We planned times to meet up for certain rides or shows, then divided up into groups to do other things. It worked really well. No one felt obligated to do the same exact things all the time, and we didn't wear on each others nerves as much as we might have otherwise. :001_smile:

[MindyD]

You need to work out a loose plan at least with the other family. Figure out what your expectations are and what things you just HAVE to see/do and make sure you do those. We did Disney this past spring with 2 other families, and for the most part it was great. We all had kids the same ages and we all stayed together about 90% of the time. My only problem was because I didn't communicate what I wanted to do at a certain park and we ended up missing a lot of what I'd expected to do. At first I was really angry, but then I realized that I hadn't let the other families know that the other parts were so important to me so it was my fault and got over it. And just so I don't sound overboard, let me explain. At Epcot, I wanted to go through all the countries so the kids could see and do everything and learn about the countries (I am a homeschool mom after all!). The other family just wanted to skip over most of that. Also, the other family lives in FL so they've gone before whereas this was a really big trip for us. They can go back, we can't. So, that's why I was so bugged, but like I said, it was my fault and I got over it. And cell phones are great to keep up with each other.

Edited August 5, 2010 by MindyD