Well, the Fresh Air Fund didn't work out as I'd hoped...

[NanceXToo]

Our 10 y/o FAF Child had a good time with all the things we did while she was here (wildlife park with safari ride, spending a day at the lake, the town pool, one of those free summer movies, 4th of July parade and fireworks, hanging around the house and going in the kiddie pool, watching TV, playing board games and so on).

 

But she kept getting regular bouts of homesickness, and every time she did, she would tell her parents she wanted to go home early and she'd get upset.

 

I did everything I could to comfort her, excite her about things we are doing (we're scheduled to go camping Sunday-Wednesday and were going to take her with us, and then she was supposed to take the bus home Thursday), but she just REALLY misses her mom.

 

So, finally, yesterday her dad said he was going to pick her up early, on Saturday. I called my area rep to let her know, and she said she'd notify the NYC office. The NYC office called me earlier today and said it is against policy for a parent to pick a child up early and that they'd notify the parents of that, and that they'd look into whether they could find an earlier bus for her to go home on instead.

 

They called me back and it seems they have a bus she can get on at 8:30 tomorrow morning in a town that is almost an hour and a half away from me. So I'd have to be up at 6 AM, out the door by 6:30, and make almost a three hour round trip to get her on this bus.

 

When I told them how far it was and asked if they knew if there was anything closer, they said there wasn't, then they said they'd call me back within a few hours so they could talk to my area rep and the chairperson about whether there were any other options- which I think would mean they'd see if they had a volunteer who could do it. He said he'd call me back within a few hours. But it's now after 6 PM and as far as I know, their office isn't even open anymore, and he hasn't called me back.

 

I did also talk to my area rep and I'm sure she will call me back shortly as she works full-time and would just be getting home around now, but I talked to her earlier and she said that she might have time to do it herself before she goes to work so I don't have to. But I told her I did not want to affect her work schedule like that, and that I would certainly do it if needed. I did ask her if she could possibly try to find out if one of the volunteers/reps from that area where the bus stop is might possibly be able to meet me halfway or something and then take her from there, as I don't want to have to make that long of a trip if I don't have to, but if not, I told her I didn't want her to have to do it since she has to work that day, too.

 

She said we'd work something out and that she'd call me later.

 

So at this point I'm just waiting to find out what's going on for tomorrow.

 

My daughter and I are a LITTLE disappointed (keeping it to ourselves of course) because we had really hoped this would be a great experience that the child would really enjoy and that we'd "click" enough with the child that we'd want her to come back subsequent years, and that she, of course, would want to, too, and it just hasn't worked out that way this time around.

 

Of course, I don't blame the FAF child at all and I DO understand, she just wasn't ready for this, being away from her mom for an extended period of time. She's never been away from her mom before, ever! I told her we understood and that we were happy that she came, even if she leaves early.

 

Anyway, my rep and I talked about us hosting another child this summer. She's seeing if she can get a match for us for the next trip, which is a one week trip scheduled for 7/15-7/22. So I'm hoping that will work out, that we'll get another girl my daughter's age here and that she will be a good match with our family and will thoroughly enjoy the experience and want to return. We won't have anything very special like a camping trip planned for that trip like we did for this one, but we can still find some fun things to do, go back to the lake, and stuff like that.

 

We'll see what happens!

 

Anyway just an update for those who happened to be following our FAF visit.

[lmrich]

:grouphug:

Two weeks is a long time for a child to be away from home. I am surprised it is that long.

[NanceXToo]

:grouphug:

Two weeks is a long time for a child to be away from home. I am surprised it is that long.

 

Yeah... They actually offer three different summer trips to a given area. Or for my area, anyway. The trip options for here were:

 

7/2-7/15 (2 weeks)

 

7/15-7/22 (1 week)

 

and I forget the exact dates, but there's a trip in August that's 1 1/2 weeks (10 days).

 

This way the hosts and the FAF children and their families can pick which trip they want to do.

 

I chose the two week one because we had the camping trip scheduled and I thought that would be fun to take them on and we figured we'd just go for it- and I guess she and her family decided she'd get the most out of the 2 week trip, too, when they matched us up, but I guess she just didn't really understand how long that might feel or anticipate having so much homesickness! I know it just happens sometimes, and that's just how it worked out this time around!

 

If we get matched with someone for the next trip, it will only be one week so hopefully that will be less likely to lead to homesickness and the visit can just be enjoyed by the child without missing home so much. We will see how it goes!

[DarlaS]

If the parents are willing to come get her, why are they so intent on making her take a bus? I'm figuring liability has something to do with it, but I can't possibly imagine what they are preventing. Hmmm....

[myfunnybunch]

My daughter and I are a LITTLE disappointed (keeping it to ourselves of course) because we had really hoped this would be a great experience that the child would really enjoy and that we'd "click" enough with the child that we'd want her to come back subsequent years, and that she, of course, would want to, too, and it just hasn't worked out that way this time around.

 

:grouphug:

 

And if the girls have bonded and are having a good time together, it may be that this young lady will be happy to come back next year too. Maybe for a week next time, or maybe she'll be ready to be away from Mom longer once she knows what to expect. :)

 

I'm sorry it's not working the way you'd hoped. :grouphug: I think it's wonderful you may be able to host another child too.

 

Cat

[Teachin'Mine]

Nance I think that you and your family did a great job! Who knows, she may even ask to go back to your family next year. A year brings a lot of changes at that age, and she may be more ready to be away from home then.

 

How awesome that you're open to another child this summer!!! :)

[JoyfulMama]

Am I understanding correctly that they would rather send a 10yo on a bus trip without supervision or accompaniment over having the parent pick them up?

When traveling as a group, I understand keeping everyone together. But, really, she is 10. And while I don't think she is incapable of traveling by herself, I am failing to see the reason for the policy.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I'm sorry she's leaving early and the experience wasn't everything you hoped for. :grouphug:

[elegantlion]

If the parents are willing to come get her, why are they so intent on making her take a bus? I'm figuring liability has something to do with it, but I can't possibly imagine what they are preventing. Hmmm....

 

Am I understanding correctly that they would rather send a 10yo on a bus trip without supervision or accompaniment over having the parent pick them up?

When traveling as a group, I understand keeping everyone together. But, really, she is 10. And while I don't think she is incapable of traveling by herself, I am failing to see the reason for the policy.

 

I imagine it has to do with liability. It might also have to do with protection of being picked up by non-custodial parents. If she is on a bus the legal liability would probably fall back on the bus company, but if she were traveling with a parent and heaven forbid had an accident, that might put the liability back onto the program.

 

I agree it would make more common sense to let the parents pick up the child, but I would bet their policy is in place to protect them from legal issues.

 

ETA: As to the OP, I'm sorry it didn't work out. two weeks is a long time for someone who has never been away from their parents before.

Wouldn't the bus company have a standard policy on how to deal with unaccompanied minors?

[Chris in VA]

I agree that, because the experience you provided was loving and positive, there's a good chance that, with one more year of maturity, the current child might very well decide she'd like to come back!

 

:001_smile:

[NanceXToo]

Hey again all,

 

I don't know how to do the multi quote thing so I'm just going to type my replies to each of you in a wordpad doc and then C&P my replies. :)

 

Darla,

Good question! I really don't know why they wouldn't let the parents come get her! I'm sure they have some legal/liability reasons but I don't know what exactly those are.

 

Cat,

You never know, but my daughter asked her if she might want to come back next year and she said no, she doesn't want to do the Fresh Air Fund anymore, that she just wants to stay with her mom lol. Who knows, I suppose it is POSSIBLE that by the time next summer rolls around, she might have matured enough to decide she wants to give it another shot, and if that happens, she just may request us, but at this point we can't count on it.

 

Teachin'Mine,

Thanks for the encouragement :)

 

JoyfulMama,

She would not be traveling unaccompanied. The FAF has different locations within our state that they send children on trips to. The location closest to ME will not have another bus until the 15th as originally scheduled. But the next closest location has its own scheduled trips, and that is the location that happens to have a bus going anyway tomorrow morning. So she would be with that area's volunteers/escorts, and group of children. She would not be unaccompanied.

 

TheDragonAcademy,

Thanks for your words of support!

 

elegantlion,

I agree, it IS a long time. Definitely harder than she bargained for! See above re: the bus/unaccompanied child thingie :)

 

Chris,

It's always a possibility! If they contacted us next year and said that she has been asking to return to us, we certainly wouldn't be opposed to it, but I also know my daughter would have loved for a new friend who left here going "see you next year!" already knowing she wanted to return as opposed to saying outright (as of now) that she definitely DOESN'T. Maybe that will happen with the next visit- maybe it won't! Either way we'll keep hosting, I still think it's a good experience (for both families!) no matter what. My rep did say they love when people are willing to host more than once in a given summer anyway, since she says there are alwyas more children in the program than there are hosts, and that there are always children who arrive at the bus stop in the city on "standby" hoping that someone else had to back out and that they can go in their place!

 

ETA: Anyway, apparently they are trying to get in touch with the Chairperson for that other area to 1) make sure there definitely IS room on that bus for her, 2) that they WILL expect her, 3) that the bus WILL definitely stop in that particular location (there are supposed to be a couple of towns it stops in before finally heading back to NYC but those stops may depend on whether they had host families in those spots), and 4) whether they know of any volunteers or reps there that might be willing to meet me halfway in the AM.

 

But for whatever reason, nobody seems to be able to find the contact info for that Chairperson. So I guess there are a bunch of phone calls and messages going back and forth between my rep, and someone in NYC, and me, and they're trying to find a field manager and so on, and they keep saying they will call me back as soon as they know anything, but now it's after 8 PM and still no definitive word, so I'm a little bit in limbo here! But my FAF child is all packed up and I've had her lay her clothes out for tomorrow, and I'm about to go tuck her into bed and read to her (she's requested more of "Alice In Wonderland") so she can get a good night's sleep as she'll have to be up early... so things are a bit chaotic now. But whatever happens, I'm still glad of the experience. We've enjoyed it, other than feeling bad for her when she got so homesick and all the current chaos about getting her home again!

Edited July 9, 2010 by NanceXToo

[NanceXToo]

Update: She got on the bus this morning. My daughter and I made the 2 1/2 hour round trip and saw her off. She's probably getting home to her mom right about now.

 

Now we wait to hear about a match for next week's trip!