Can I really send them back to school? Rambling thoughts...

[Twinmom]

Yesterday, my DH and I met with the principal of a local, small private school regarding the possibility of sending my oldest two back to school. (My youngest are whirling dervishes with SPD and are not yet ready for prime time so their OT recommends they still home school with me for remedial work.) I'm struggling with the decision and would love some feedback. It's a big change for us.

 

This is a very unique school designed to allow the child to work at his/her ability level in skills areas such as math and language arts while maintaining an age-related grade level for content areas (which include a lot of hands-on to accommodate multiple learning styles). As such, it is a fit for my unique family which consists of kids at multiple spots on the spectrum...gifted, special needs, physical disabilities, etc. It is a Christian school and they are using curriculum like Singapore Math, Story of the World, Shurley grammar, etc. It does not advertise itself as strictly classical, but they do a four year history cycle, teach Latin, follow a path that looks a lot like the WTM, etc. The classrooms are 4-5 kids a piece, the tuition is affordable, it is only about 15-20 minutes from my house. Missions and service oriented, they have multiple outreach opportunities for kids and families and expect families to fully participate in their kiddos' education.

 

Sounds great, right? So why my angst? I don't really know. Home schooling has been fantastic for us in some ways...my gifted DS works above grade level, my DD with special needs has remediated most of her issues and has almost caught up to grade level, our schedule allows for good family time, etc. However, my two youngest need a lot of attention that I cannot give due to DD's demanding personality (yes, she is taking advantage of the situation and being somewhat selfish) and DS's above grade level work, and I am VERY tired from trying to meet the needs of kids with multiple, competing special needs...did I mention I'm wiped out? ;) We have multiple OT appointments, extracurriculars that also work as therapy and cannot be dropped, a traveling DH, etc. Can I really manage better by adding in the extra drive time and still trying to home school the whirling dervishes? We like being at home together but can also drive each other nuts, IYKWIM.

 

Kids with special needs are tough. It's a hard decision all around, but it has to be at least considered for the sake of the whirling dervishes and my own personal sanity. I'd love any thoughts or encouragement the Hive's collective wisdom can throw my way.

 

Still scratchin' my head over here...prayers welcome!

[*LC]

I totally get everything you are saying even though the shoes I walk in are slightly different. My advice is try it for a year, so you will know if it is easier or harder on you to have the kids at private school. I understand why you don't know, because having to be somewhere else five days a week is tough. However, the time to focus completely on your youngest kids will be good. I'm not a lot of help am I.

 

It will be an adjustment, so I'd say commit for a year. If you try it for a year, you will know what you need to do for the year after.

 

(It does sound like a cool school.)

 

LC

[RoughCollie]

I, too, would try it for a year. That school sounds wonderful.

 

First, find out what the school expects from you and whether you have time and energy to deliver it.

 

Second, work out your daily schedule (mine was different for each of the 5 weekdays) to see if driving to the school twice a day will fit in it.

 

Third, plan to have all homeschooling that directly involves you completed by the time the older kids get home from school. Don't plan anything for 30-60 minutes after the olders get home, because it won't happen.

 

I found that when I sent two of my kids to school, I was involved in school all day -- during the school day with the kids at home, and after school with the other two. This was partially the nature of the beast, and partially because the great school we sent our kids to turned out to be not so great from a homeschooler's point of view. It doesn't sound like this will be the case with you.

 

You will miss your kids while they are at school and there will be plenty of times when you wish they were home. This is the 3rd year that two of my kids have gone to school away from home, and I still feel most settled inside when everyone is here.

 

The most frustrating thing to me, aside from having to jump up to pick up the kids at the most inconvenient time (kind of like being interrupted while reading the best part of a book), was that my schedule and plans are partially dictated to me by the school.

 

That means I have to be here when the bus comes (but at least I no longer have to drive them to school and back). The kids at home and I cannot just take off at any time to do anything because we have to be here when the others get home. It means all of us are slaves to the school's academic calendar.

 

So, there are trade-offs, all of which I blithely dismissed when we first sent two of our kids away to school. It wasn't easier, really, just different. The atmosphere in our home was calmer during the school day, though, and that's a good thing.

 

RC

Edited April 30, 2010 by RoughCollie

[MIch elle]

Yes, try it for a year and if it's not what you want bring them back home. You will have a year of less work/pressure and you'll be able to concentrate on your younger dc. :001_smile:

[TXMomof4]

Can I move in with you? I'd send my older kids in a heartbeat.

 

I need some time with my youngest dd to concentrate, but life seems to intervene once too often. We're using an online school next year so at least I don't have to plan everything plus teach everything, but I wish I could find a place to send them. The only private school in the area uses a curriculum I detest and the ps don't impress me at all.

[LibraryLover]

These threads tend to lean heavily on the side of Don't Do It!-- that no school can serve a child or a family. I've always disagreed with that belief. One of mine was hs'd for a time and returned to his little private school. Not only was it best for that particular child, it kept us in contact with some of our greatest hs supporters-- that school. So, one child attened private school and two children continued to hs. He's a loving, bright teen today, so there ya go.

[Jean in Newcastle]

These threads tend to lean heavily on the side of Don't Do It!-- that no school can serve a child or a family. I've always disagreed with that belief. One of mine was hs'd for a time and returned to his little private school. Not only was it best for that particular child, it kept us in contact with some of our greatest hs supporters-- that school. So, one child attened private school and two children continued to hs. He's a loving, bright teen today, so there ya go.

 

Um, did you actually read this thread? Every single post was telling her to try it for a year. . .

[LibraryLover]

Um, did you actually read this thread? Every single post was telling her to try it for a year. . .

 

 

I made no mention of any post in this thread...past posts. :chillpill: Let's see how it goes. :) I have hope.

Edited April 30, 2010 by LibraryLover

[LibraryLover]

You are correct that most of the time these threads lean that way, but apparently not this one! It's nice to hear the good experiences and know that our kids will not be "ruined for life":svengo: because they are in school for a while. Meeting the needs of the whole family can be a tricky business.

 

 

I've been here years, so yes, I am correct , and I join you in fainting. LOL It's nice when people are supportive of each other. It doesn't always happen. Lets hope we've scared off the anyone who will talk about how what you think a school is, isn't really. Because it goes that way sometimes.:tongue_smilie:

Edited April 30, 2010 by LibraryLover

[mom2g2b]

I am in a similar quandry. I have 4 children. The youngest is 21 months, doesn't nap regularly, isn't on a schedule, and very high need. It makes meeting the other children's needs difficult to say the least. My 3rd born has some ADD or learning issues and I was not able to give him what he needed nor was able to find a tutor locally. In January we put him in school. He has gotten some needed help, which I'm thankful for.

 

The downside is having to be on the school schedule. It used to be easy to make appointments right after lunch but now that doesn't work since I have to pick him up from school. Also, he has homework most nights. After being away from him all day I just want to be mom.

 

Try it for a year and see how it goes. It doesn't have to be forever. My husband says lets homeschool all three next year. We will have to see how summer goes.

 

Vickie

[Twinmom]

Thanks so much for the encouragement! I did hesitate to post because I expected that on the general board I'd have a lot of naysayers...not that I'd not want their perspective, but I wondered if I'd get bashed for considering it! It is such a delicate balance when you have kids with special needs! I have to think about myself and the whole family, which is hard to do when some of the kids' needs actually compete (for example, I have one sensory avoider and two sensory seekers...try having them both in a lesson together! :glare: They drive each other nuts.).

 

The thought that this does not have to be permanent is very calming for me. I keep forgetting that fact! I am worried about being a slave to the school schedule but I can also see where it would help my eldest two to gain structure. I do NOT want the drive...it is further than I thought...but truthfully, I am a bit spoiled in that arena. Small town, we never drive more than 5-10 minutes anywhere unless it is to O.T.

 

All in all, it is worth a shot. I can always bring them home again...and maybe they will appreciate home school more after having to meet the expectations of a teacher that is not mom! The twins really need my full attention right now...I have to remember that!

[sixpence1978]

I just wanted to further encourage you. We made sort of the same decision last year to send both of our kids back to a wonderful, small private school.

 

My DS is THRIVING! He is learning things that I never would have taught. He is making friends, discovering his own personality, and really maturing (in a good way) before my eyes.

 

My DD has struggled. Next year she will probably be back home while DS continues to go to school. She is lagging behind in a few areas that we hope to remediate a bit before, hopefully, sending her back when she is ready. Could be in a year, or however long it takes.

 

Some parts are definitely harder and some are easier. It takes time to get into the groove, so expect some ups and downs at first. There are also a ton of days in which I really miss them and miss homeschooling. Neither decision is easy, but at the end of the day I hope that I make good parenting choices and remind myself that raising a family is hard.

 

Good luck!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thanks so much for the encouragement! I did hesitate to post because I expected that on the general board I'd have a lot of naysayers...not that I'd not want their perspective, but I wondered if I'd get bashed for considering it! It is such a delicate balance when you have kids with special needs! I have to think about myself and the whole family, which is hard to do when some of the kids' needs actually compete (for example, I have one sensory avoider and two sensory seekers...try having them both in a lesson together! :glare: They drive each other nuts.).

 

The thought that this does not have to be permanent is very calming for me. I keep forgetting that fact! I am worried about being a slave to the school schedule but I can also see where it would help my eldest two to gain structure. I do NOT want the drive...it is further than I thought...but truthfully, I am a bit spoiled in that arena. Small town, we never drive more than 5-10 minutes anywhere unless it is to O.T.

 

All in all, it is worth a shot. I can always bring them home again...and maybe they will appreciate home school more after having to meet the expectations of a teacher that is not mom! The twins really need my full attention right now...I have to remember that!

 

You know, I would not suggest that every family put their kids into a school - even a private one - even for a one year trial. What sold me on your situation is that the school you mentioned had great curriculum and a wonderful student:teacher ratio. Add some of the unique needs of your younger kids to the mix and it is very easy to recommend sending the older ones to this school.

[Twinmom]

You know, I would not suggest that every family put their kids into a school - even a private one - even for a one year trial. What sold me on your situation is that the school you mentioned had great curriculum and a wonderful student:teacher ratio. Add some of the unique needs of your younger kids to the mix and it is very easy to recommend sending the older ones to this school.

 

You know, I am a bit worried that I won't be able to "get them back" so to speak, should I decide that home schooling should happen again. I guess that's the big worry in the back of my mind...what if they love it but DH and I are dissatisfied? Would telling them they are coming home be a big mess in that case? Worry, worry, worry. I need to leave this in the hands of the Lord. He knows the future...I sure don't!!!

[Twinmom]

Wow, another option has surfaced! I may be able to keep my DS8 at home next year using some enrichment classes for gifted kids. He doesn't want to go back to school, so this is another idea to roll around...prayers needed!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Wow, another option has surfaced! I may be able to keep my DS8 at home next year using some enrichment classes for gifted kids. He doesn't want to go back to school, so this is another idea to roll around...prayers needed!

 

So would that mean that just the 10 year old would go to the school?

[Twinmom]

Yup. Under option number 2, my DD10 would go to the school, as I do think that's what she needs/wants for the fall. DS8 would stay home and do as much work independently as possible, participate in the enrichment classes and continue to work above grade level but at his own pace. The twins would be my primary focus in hs...they need me the most. DS8 would be at risk of being somewhat ignored, but truthfully he can handle it. The kid is an amazing learner. Give him a book and he remembers everything he reads...to the smallest detail.

 

Don't know if I'm sold on this option yet, but at least it's out there. More driving, though...

[Rosie_0801]

Option two sounds pretty good! The drive would be a hassle, but you could always use that time for an audio book or something. Then you can feel you are doing something useful with the time.

 

:)

Rosie

[Twinmom]

Rosie, that's a good idea. Thanks! We've used audio books before, of course, but your post got me to thinking about how the sensory input of the car movement while the tapes are playing actually helps the twins to listen. As they move ahead in school, that time could be very productive! Stories they won't sit still for at home (read alouds can be a nightmare here!), drill and review, etc. Could be good.

[Sara R]

I'd be disinclined to do option 2 because of all of the driving. Driving kids to school once in the morning and picking them up in the afternoon is one thing, but driving to and from enrichment classes on top of that will interrupt your homeschool efforts.

 

I'm one who put my kids into good charter schools and have been very happy with it. I was kind of forced into it for health reasons, but school has been a great experience for my kids.