does anyone's else's child want to do cc but not a 4 year school

[Jeannie in NJ]

my dd is in 9th. Her passion for the last few years has been cake decorating. She is very good, has had orders to decorate cakes for birthdays, holidays and baby showers. Everyone just raves about her cakes. Anyway, we have an excellent Culinary School at our local community college. Dd wants to get her Associates in Baking and Pastry there. The Culinary School does not allow anyone under 18 to take the actual baking and decorating (I would assume for insurance reasons, they cannot have minors in the kitchens) but she could start taking her general classes (englsh, history, science, etc) next year. She has no desire to go to a 4 year school. She does all her school work, makes all a's and b's but does not LOVE school, except when she is making cakes. She has made up a portfolio of all her cakes and next year she might like to work a little at a bakery, there is a place nearby that makes cakes for weddings and birthdays, etc. Dd would love to work there a little before going to the Culinary School

 

Anyway, does anyone else have a child whose desire is for just jr. college and not the whole 4 year thing? I would like to think we are not the only family whose child will not be attending a 4 year school.

[Kareni]

I see nothing wrong with this. I would continue to have your child take rigorous courses at home until she makes the transition to this program for two reasons.

 

First, she may change her mind. My daughter in ninth grade was intent on going to art school; today she's a freshman at college with the intention of majoring in Latin and minoring in Geology. Had we emphasized art to the exclusion of other subjects, she would not have been accepted by or prepared for the college she now attends.

 

Second, I'd suggest having her research what paths the students who graduate from the culinary program take after receiving their diplomas. (My former brother-in-law was a chef in excellent restaurants and it is a grueling business; restaurants frequently close and their most popular times are often nights, weekends, and holidays which can be stressful on family.)

 

If your daughter imagines herself one day running her own business, she might also want to consider taking some business math/accounting classes.

 

I do think that working part-time in a bakery is a great idea as she would get a realistic view of what is involved.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[nevergiveup]

You are not the only one with a child who does not want to go to a 4 year college--I don't think my 10th grader even wants to go to a community college, let alone a 4 year one.

 

I think, as parents, we always want our kids to be "better" than we are--smarter, more successful, wealthier, whatever. Then, they grow and start to travel their own path which perhaps isn't the one we envisioned. We hear about Johnny who is studying Latin and organic chemistry and mastered calculus at age 9 and will graduate early to start his college career and... we compare. We may compare them to ourselves--my husband has his doctorate and other degrees, I have a bachelor's--who is this child of mine who does not want to go to college? Why can't he be like Johnny?

 

Then, we have to realize that they have their own lives and talents and we should be guiding them and helping them achieve their own goals.

 

And, we need to quit comparing. (You realize you never really liked Johnny anyway, but you REALLY like cake).

[Mommyfaithe]

You are not the only one with a child who does not want to go to a 4 year college--I don't think my 10th grader even wants to go to a community college, let alone a 4 year one.

 

I think, as parents, we always want our kids to be "better" than we are--smarter, more successful, wealthier, whatever. Then, they grow and start to travel their own path which perhaps isn't the one we envisioned. We hear about Johnny who is studying Latin and organic chemistry and mastered calculus at age 9 and will graduate early to start his college career and... we compare. We may compare them to ourselves--my husband has his doctorate and other degrees, I have a bachelor's--who is this child of mine who does not want to go to college? Why can't he be like Johnny?

 

Then, we have to realize that they have their own lives and talents and we should be guiding them and helping them achieve their own goals.

 

And, we need to quit comparing. (You realize you never really liked Johnny anyway, but you REALLY like cake).

 

:iagree: :iagree: Yes, what she said....

[Hoggirl]

Yes, she may change her path as she grows older, but the fact that she has something she thrives on right now is terrific for motivation.

 

good for her!

[Guest]

Wow, your daughter sounds like a terrific kid who has a passion AND a plan for pursuing it as a career. She is doing her work, getting A's and B's, to get where she wants to be. I can't imagine anything more wonderful.

[Ellie]

A four-year college is not the end-all and be-all of life.

 

One of my dds completed her BA, the other did not. Both are happy and productive young women.

 

Your dd has a plan; I say let her go for it.

[dansamy]

... Then, they grow and start to travel their own path which perhaps isn't the one we envisioned.

.... Then, we have to realize that they have their own lives and talents and we should be guiding them and helping them achieve their own goals.

 

:iagree: I think that's one of the hard parts to parenting. We have to let go of our dreams for them and start helping them achieve their own dreams for themselves. It's her life and her path. You can't live vicariously through your kids and fulfill the dreams you think you missed out on. (Says the one who hovers and over-protects and hand-holds. DH says I'm gonna go nuts when they actually leave home!)

[creekland]

I see nothing wrong with this. I would continue to have your child take rigorous courses at home until she makes the transition to this program for two reasons.

 

First, she may change her mind. My daughter in ninth grade was intent on going to art school; today she's a freshman at college with the intention of majoring in Latin and minoring in Geology. Had we emphasized art to the exclusion of other subjects, she would not have been accepted by or prepared for the college she now attends.

 

Second, I'd suggest having her research what paths the students who graduate from the culinary program take after receiving their diplomas. (My former brother-in-law was a chef in excellent restaurants and it is a grueling business; restaurants frequently close and their most popular times are often nights, weekends, and holidays which can be stressful on family.)

 

If your daughter imagines herself one day running her own business, she might also want to consider taking some business math/accounting classes.

 

I do think that working part-time in a bakery is a great idea as she would get a realistic view of what is involved.

 

Regards,

Kareni

 

:iagree: There is absolutely nothing wrong with her plans, and what she wants to do fulfills a nice niche. As Kareni suggested, I'd have her continue finding out about all the aspects of her desired career AND continue with other high school classes just in case she changes her mind. Nothing is written in stone at 9th grade and it doesn't hurt to follow a path she thinks she likes as long as it doesn't burn bridges for later on.

[jld]

Sounds great to me. She'll probably end up a millionaire, owning her own successful business!:)

 

And I agree with the poster who mentioned letting go of our dreams for our kids . . . My cousin and his wife both had grad. degrees and good jobs (he ran the local county health dept., she at one time ran the Planned Parenthood office nearby), but their oldest daughter didn't want to go to college. She truly had no interest at all. Well, cousin and his wife decided to just support her interest, which was to move to Hollywood and become a makeup artist. So that's what she did. She was happy doing that for a few years, then left and moved somewhere else (not sure where) and did something else (not sure what). But last I heard, she was happy!

[Chris in PA]

Both my dh and I have science degrees from 4 year colleges. We are ok with letting go of the 4 year college dream for our dc. Our oldest will be a senior in the fall and wants to pursue her RN. It is an associates degree. We are still providing a rigorous high school education in case she changes her mind. I would much rather have my dc happy than unhappy trying to please their parents.

 

Jeannie it sounds like your dd knows what she wants and is motivated to get it. Good luck to her!

[dansamy]

Both my dh and I have science degrees from 4 year colleges. We are ok with letting go of the 4 year college dream for our dc. Our oldest will be a senior in the fall and wants to pursue her RN. It is an associates degree. We are still providing a rigorous high school education in case she changes her mind. I would much rather have my dc happy than unhappy trying to please their parents.

 

Jeannie it sounds like your dd knows what she wants and is motivated to get it. Good luck to her!

 

Something to remember with RN training is that it is multi-level and can increase throughout your career. As a bedside RN, it's true that only your ADN is required. However, the avenue is available to pursue a bachelor's, a master's and a doctorate in nursing. The choice is up to the individual. Nurse Practitioners and Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetists have advanced degrees and training. Management often requires at least a bachelor's.

[Jeannie in NJ]

thanks everyone for your replies. It is true that dh and I had hopes for our dc going to a college. Dh has his Phd and wanted dd to go to the college that he teaches at, he still has dreams for that so he is req. and I agree that dd will complete her high school courses so that she could attend a 4 year school is she does change her mind . Dh and I were the first people in our families to get a college education (phd for dh and working towards my masters for me when I left school) so we had just assumed that dd would follow in our footsteps. But here's another instance, all my life I have had a passion for reading, anything and everything. When I was about 10 I started at one end of the children's library and read all the books in order lol well guess what, my dd does NOT like to read, unlesss it is baking and decorating books (took me a long time to get over the fact that she does not love or even like to read fiction). As a small child, she taught herself how to knit and crochet by reading books on it (I am helpless with crafts) in fact, the instructions for knitting an object look like Greek to me, but dd can just look at them and knit the object perfectly. She is def. not my mini me (I am not that good a cook and she is amazing lol). It is funny what different skills our dc can have from us! I guess we often just assume that our dc are going to have the same interests as us and are suprised when they grow into being their own seperate person. Thanks everyone for reminding me of all that.

 

When dd starts working part time in a bakery, she said that she is going to save her money to help us with the costs for the Culinary School (not cheap to go there). She is an amazing kid.

[Yolanda in Mass]

We hear about Johnny who is studying Latin and organic chemistry and mastered calculus at age 9 and will graduate early to start his college career and... we compare. We may compare them to ourselves--my husband has his doctorate and other degrees, I have a bachelor's--who is this child of mine who does not want to go to college? Why can't he be like Johnny?

 

Then, we have to realize that they have their own lives and talents and we should be guiding them and helping them achieve their own goals.

 

And, we need to quit comparing. (You realize you never really liked Johnny anyway, but you REALLY like cake).

 

:iagree:Amen to that! And while we're so busy wondering why our child can't be like Johnny (whom we really don't know so well 'cause we don't live with them), we miss the oh so wonderful qualities our kids have that Johnny's mom wishes Johnny had.

 

Yolanda

[wapiti]

I see nothing wrong with this. I would continue to have your child take rigorous courses at home until she makes the transition to this program for two reasons.

 

First, she may change her mind. My daughter in ninth grade was intent on going to art school; today she's a freshman at college with the intention of majoring in Latin and minoring in Geology. Had we emphasized art to the exclusion of other subjects, she would not have been accepted by or prepared for the college she now attends.

 

Second, I'd suggest having her research what paths the students who graduate from the culinary program take after receiving their diplomas. (My former brother-in-law was a chef in excellent restaurants and it is a grueling business; restaurants frequently close and their most popular times are often nights, weekends, and holidays which can be stressful on family.)

 

If your daughter imagines herself one day running her own business, she might also want to consider taking some business math/accounting classes.

 

I do think that working part-time in a bakery is a great idea as she would get a realistic view of what is involved.

 

Regards,

Kareni

 

I think this is a wise approach. It would be good for her to take a longer view - if she chooses x, what will the result be and what will be the options open to her? If after graduating (from high school or whatever level of college), she chooses to work full time in a bakery, she should consider what that is going to yield as far as income level goes, and whether that will be sufficient for what she envisions in terms of her lifestyle in the short run, long run, etc. She might consider whether her ultimate dream is to own her own cake-decorating business, and whether she would be better off adding business coursework on the front end or later on, while she's working (I'd go so far as to look into what sorts of night school business degrees are available in your area, so that she knows what options may be available down the road. I think that's not an unusual approach, FWIW).

 

For my own kids, one of my goals is to help them understand the potential ramifications of their choices so that they are not surprised and/or disappointed down the road. I'd like them to make these sorts of decisions with their eyes wide open, especially where career and finances are concerned. I want their dreams to be somewhat tempered with reality, or, I'd like them to know how they can realistically go about realizing their dreams. I want them to know what they are choosing, for today and for their future, and I'd like to help them hedge their bets when possible, leaving other options open.