Have you been completely humbled

[jld]

by how differently things have turned out with your homeschooling, than the way you planned?

 

I never expected high school to go the way it has. It's fine and everything, but it has not been how I thought it would be. I'm finding that it's really important to be flexible and open-minded, and willing to cede control if the kids have better plans than I do.

 

Life is sure teaching me a lot!

[jibaker103]

Yes, I have!!! I never expected to be signing ds up for virtual academy instead of doing it all myself. Of course this is when I thought after 9 years of ps my son would embrace me as his teachers, do every little thing I say, have stimulating discussions, etc. etc. The change in attitude for the both of us since making the decision is unbelievable. There is less stress and anxiety and more working as a team and enjoyment. I guess it boils down to less pressure to get it right because there is an outside entity helping to guide us. Hopefully all will work out and next year will be a blast for all!!

[lllll]

...

[jld]

What a beautiful post, Kathy! Thank you so much!:)

[elizabeth]

by how differently things have turned out with your homeschooling, than the way you planned?

 

I never expected high school to go the way it has. It's fine and everything, but it has not been how I thought it would be. I'm finding that it's really important to be flexible and open-minded, and willing to cede control if the kids have better plans than I do.

 

Life is sure teaching me a lot!

 

This is so absolutely true of my experience. Humbled ?? Conclusively. Law school was a breeze comparitively speaking. Of course it would help if dd was not interested in comparative mythology, Latin and let us not neglect to mention, critical literary theory, specifically deconstructionism. I am exhausted, my brain is old , I have gained 20 lbs and I now can tell you anything you wish to know about many arcane subjects. And I have a permanently furrowed brow that looks oh so charming with my extra chin. I really hope tomorrow is a better day for this frazzled mom . BTW the youngster is delighted with her electives and her first poetry slam at the library. It really is all good. Thank goodness for medicinal libations.

[FloridaLisa]

Humble is the one word I have felt all year long. Or maybe it's humbled. :001_smile:

 

Lisa

[Guest]

Yes, starting with my daughter's kindergarten year. I'm kind of used to it now.

[lovemykids]

Yes, starting with my daughter's kindergarten year. I'm kind of used to it now.

:lol:

 

:iagree:

[jld]

LOL, Elizabeth!

[Reya]

Well, I'm frustrated that I have to be so rigid. Pfffth. I was the kind of kid who would have holed up in a corner and whipped through my work and played all the rest of the day. DS needs quite of bit of redirection from daydreaming and a timer/point/reward system to stay on task, even as he begs or more subjects.

 

What I've been amazed at is how close to my "back of the envelope" level we are even as the route was entirely different. When he was two, I took a WAG and just for the heck of it, wrote down my "most extreme" scenario. I made a crazy guess that he'd do K-1 math at age 3, 2nd-3rd at 4, 4th-5th at 5, 6th-7th at 6, and be starting Algebra at the beginning of "2nd" grade. I think I figured he'd be reading at a 6th-8th grade level then, too, though my trajectory for that was even fuzzier, and that he'd start high school level science in "3rd" or "4th" grade.

 

This was a "worst-case scenario, what do we do then?" type of guess when I realized that I was pushing through waters that, for me, were uncharted and that I was going to have to homeschool him and felt entirely sick and miserable about the whole thing. (My institutional school experience can be described as largely miserable, with brief sparks of interest. And for the most part, that's a whitewash job.)

 

I guess I didn't surprise anyone from my home church, though, as about eight people told me they always KNEW I'd homeschool. Got that from a LOT of old friends and people around the community, too, so I guess it was just a surprise to me! I was very fixated on institutional schooling, but as my child got older, I just couldn't see doing to him what happened to me. So I worked my way around to it after trying a bunch of alternative tactics.

 

Anyhow, what DS REALLY did was:

 

Age 3-4: Singapore Earlybird about a thousand times. Reading at a 2nd grade level.

 

Age 4-5: Really no math at all. Reading at a 4th grade level.

 

"K": RS A-E, SM 1-3 Reading at an early 5th grade level with terrible CWPM at the beginning of the year--reading at a late 5th grade/early 6th grade level with decent CWPM and good expression at the end

 

"1st" RS E (the rest), SM 4-6, NEM 1 (first part, pre-algebra). Reading at a late 5th grade/early 6th grade level at the beginning of the year--probably mid-7th grade with much better CWPM by Aug. He's ready for high school level science now (not close for history--too much about human motivation that he doesn't get yet, and I'm in no hurry that he do so!), but I'm going to put it off for a year and let him dork around for a while longer.

 

I'd forgotten all about those scribblings until I ran across them the other day. It was so baffling how different the trajectory was, and yet how we ended up in the same place, anyway!

[Kathie in VA]

Frustrated comes to mind first then nervous; I'm working on the "humbled" part.

[Grace is Sufficient]

There are kids.... and then there kids, kwim? And I've got one of each!

 

My son: reasonably compliant, a stubborn streak at times, but well-applied discipline in his early years convinced him that we were the authority in the home, not him. He's generally polite, respectful, a hard worker, etc.

 

If my daughter were like him... I'd be one of those superior mothering types and would still think that all children need is proper parenting and effective discipline, and of course, the corollary to that is that a rebellious and difficult child really just isn't being parented properly.

 

Boy, have I EVER been humbled. Hopefully, I will never again judge a person's parenting skills by the behavior of their child.

 

PS: I LOVE MY DAUGHTER. She is a brilliant, talented, delightful human being (with some issues.)

[Storm Bay]

Frustrated comes to mind first then nervous; I'm working on the "humbled" part.

:iagree: My eldest is capable of so much more than she's willing to do that I feel frustrated rather than humbled. The only thing she works hard at right now is swimming. I was nervous when it came time to really embark on homeschooling high school. In part because I don't want to miss anything vital and in part due to dd's work habits. There are glimmers of hope there that when she reaches the Age of Reason she'll buckle down and get more done.

 

Perhaps I'd feel more humbled if I'd become a mother 10-15 years younger. I'm old enough to be fully aware that things often go differently than you plan. That said, I have had some huge eye openers in my philosophy of education and in how dc learn as well as many other learning experiences.

[Reya]

If my daughter were like him... I'd be one of those superior mothering types and would still think that all children need is proper parenting and effective discipline, and of course, the corollary to that is that a rebellious and difficult child really just isn't being parented properly.

 

My kids are so difficult that I had a friend say that parenting them isn't even grad-level parenting work--it's experimental research parenting. :-) And more than one have commented that there should be a law passed that no close relative of mine ever be allowed to donate eggs or sperm or put a child up for adoption. My son's first sentence was to argue with me. On THREE OCCASIONS, he went without food for more than 12 hours (and fell asleep on the floor in the playroom one night!) rather than clean up his toys. 17 hours was the longest. Seventeen. Hours. And when he finally decided to comply, he cleaned the room in 20 minutes.

 

And he's the easy one in some ways. I've gotten very good at apologizing for my daughter. But I know that although she's the biggest brat in the room, without fail, right now, that won't be true in a very few years. (You wouldn't believe me if I told you what she's done!) My DS used to always be the second worst kid (so he wouldn't get in trouble!) but by age 5, I realized that if a kid started crying, I didn't have to jump up with with other moms because I knew that no matter what, my kid wasn't involved.

 

It's not just my kids, either. I've been supporting a friend whose son had severe behavioral problems (as in, guaranteed to hit another child if allowed contact for more than 20 minutes, and that was the beginning, at 5 years old) and was borderline ODD. It's been six months since she came to me and really changed her approach to him, and he has hit someone once in the past two months and isn't constantly defying his parents and, frankly, running the house anymore. And he's a lot happier and more secure, too.

 

But there's also the case that good parenting for Kid A is totally awful parenting for Kid B. The question isn't whether the parenting's "good" but whether it's good-for-that-particular-kid.

 

I'd say that 99.9% of kids are well behaved before age 8 with good-for-them parenting, barring a disorder. But kids still make choices, and kids CAN still make choices to be bad. There's only so much even perfect-for-them parenting can do.

[Storm Bay]

If my daughter were like him... I'd be one of those superior mothering types and would still think that all children need is proper parenting and effective discipline, and of course, the corollary to that is that a rebellious and difficult child really just isn't being parented properly.

 

Boy, have I EVER been humbled. Hopefully, I will never again judge a person's parenting skills by the behavior of their child.

 

PS: I LOVE MY DAUGHTER. She is a brilliant, talented, delightful human being (with some issues.)

 

 

Well, if we're talking parenting, then I have been humbled. Until my dd was nearly 3, I was one of those superior mothering types most of the time once those first 3 months were done (very, very fussy, but not colicky because she didn't cry every singe minute she was awake except when nursing. Crying for hours and hours in a row day after day isn't colick I learned). But when she hit about 2 3/4 things changed dramatically.

 

My kids are all brilliant, talended & wonderful in many ways, but even the easiest one isn't close to being an easy dc (and there are some easy dc.)

[Peela]

Yes, I can relate.

I am watching two young adults blossom and develop and find themselves. I find it humbling.

And no, I am not finding these years to be anything like what I expected. I really thought we would be followng a more academic path than we are. But I am finding that we are heading in more "practical "directions- which is plenty to get into higher education- but also lots of time for other things, such as dd15 taking leadership positions in Venturer committees, and both kids' social lives really taking off, and part time jobs.