Rich with Kids Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 My dd wants a purity ring for her birthday. Any advice on where to get one? I don't want to ask her because I want her to be surprised. Would you do the True Love Waits ring? Any other recommendations are much appreciated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
st_claire Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 I *so* don't understand purity rings, but if it's something you guys want to do, I would just stop by a jeweler and ask them to show you some rings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volty Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 I *so* don't understand purity rings, but if it's something you guys want to do, I would just stop by a jeweler and ask them to show you some rings. You're still a step ahead of me in understanding. Can somebody explain a purity ring? Thx. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 We bought bough tmy DD's from a Christian Bookstore. Do you have one nearby? I think CBD carries them too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 You're still a step ahead of me in understanding. Can somebody explain a purity ring? Thx. It's a ring that is supposed to symbolize a teen's decision to remain pure until marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee22 Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 We ended up getting a ring at Kohl's for a great price after Valentine's Day. We looked at rings on Chrisitian websites and didn't find one we liked. She loves the ring we picked out. Dd has very small fingers so it had to be sent out for sizing and it took a month to get back. But the good thing about Kohl's was that the sizing was included in the price. I'm not sure if you want a specific design but if you don't than you might just want to check department stores for a good deal. It was more important to us that she embraced the concept of emotional and physical purity than have a specific ring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted March 28, 2008 Author Share Posted March 28, 2008 I *so* don't understand purity rings, but if it's something you guys want to do, I would just stop by a jeweler and ask them to show you some rings. She wants to make a committment to God and to us that she's going to do whatever she can to wait to have sex until marriage. She knows some friends that are already suffering from STD's and even one friend that is pregnant. It means a lot to her for health reasons, as well. No, I don't think a ring is going to keep her from having sex, but I respect her willingness to try and her awareness of the risks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 I agree with st claire in that I would prefer going to a jeweler and looking for something pretty and meaningful to *her* or to your *family* rather than a mass market "message" type ring. There are many lovely rings out there, and if you picked one with a flower or symbol that was meaningful to you as her mother, and you wrote up why you picked it and how you feel about her and her growth into young womanhood... That would be "deeper" in my mind... And in that way it's just a reminder to *her*. It's like a secret message to her heart... The ones that say "true love waits" just seem more like wearing a button or a silicon bracelet or something to me. For me, and certainly when I was a teenager, I'd have preferred to keep something like that a little more private. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
st_claire Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 I find it hard to understand how 13 and 14 year olds can make a decision like that. Most kids I know that age have a hard time deciding what they want to wear in the morning, let alone a decision that is supposed to affect them until they get married. I worry that a lot of the kids who are into those rings want them because their parents want them to want them. Just my two cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 I came up with this site, which seems to have a nice variety of styles, some of which are quite pretty. http://www.purityrings.com/ Although, I have to say that, unless she really wants something recognizable to others (which I could understand), you might do about as well or better just choosing something pretty from a local jeweler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted March 28, 2008 Author Share Posted March 28, 2008 We ended up getting a ring at Kohl's for a great price after Valentine's Day. We looked at rings on Chrisitian websites and didn't find one we liked. She loves the ring we picked out. Dd has very small fingers so it had to be sent out for sizing and it took a month to get back. But the good thing about Kohl's was that the sizing was included in the price. I'm not sure if you want a specific design but if you don't than you might just want to check department stores for a good deal. It was more important to us that she embraced the concept of emotional and physical purity than have a specific ring. I hadn't thought of Kohl's. One just opened up here near us. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
st_claire Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 She knows some friends that are already suffering from STD's and even one friend that is pregnant. It means a lot to her for health reasons, as well. No, I don't think a ring is going to keep her from having sex, but I respect her willingness to try and her awareness of the risks. There are ways to reduce the risks of having sex. I really don't think safer sex would qualify as a health risk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted March 28, 2008 Author Share Posted March 28, 2008 I agree with st claire in that I would prefer going to a jeweler and looking for something pretty and meaningful to *her* or to your *family* rather than a mass market "message" type ring. There are many lovely rings out there, and if you picked one with a flower or symbol that was meaningful to you as her mother, and you wrote up why you picked it and how you feel about her and her growth into young womanhood... That would be "deeper" in my mind... And in that way it's just a reminder to *her*. It's like a secret message to her heart... The ones that say "true love waits" just seem more like wearing a button or a silicon bracelet or something to me. For me, and certainly when I was a teenager, I'd have preferred to keep something like that a little more private. I like that idea. I was just starting with the TLW ring. I agree with billboard type messaging. It's not really something I would want to advertise. I would like something she could wear forever and maybe pass on to her daughter if she has one. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted March 28, 2008 Author Share Posted March 28, 2008 I find it hard to understand how 13 and 14 year olds can make a decision like that. Most kids I know that age have a hard time deciding what they want to wear in the morning, let alone a decision that is supposed to affect them until they get married. I worry that a lot of the kids who are into those rings want them because their parents want them to want them. Just my two cents. I really hadn't thought much of them until she started talking about them a few months ago. We had nothing to do with her decision. She's been through a lot. Her bio mom left them for another man when she was 10. Bio mom dates married men. We've had some very interesting, honest talks on how she views sex. Staying pure is an important issue for her. I do belive she understands the commitment she is making. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
st_claire Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 It could be that during some of your talks, you suggested to her the idea of staying pure until marriage. But anyway, I don't know your kid, so I can't say either way. She could just be much more ready to make that commitment then other kids that age I've seen. Since people were talking about how they work though, I just thought I would throw in my thoughts also. Like I said, if its something you guys want to do, then by all means go for it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volty Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 It's a ring that is supposed to symbolize a teen's decision to remain pure until marriage. So you wear the ring all the time and it serves as a permanent reminder - especially for if you're feeling frisky or feeling pressured, to resist. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 It could be that during some of your talks, you suggested to her the idea of staying pure until marriage. But anyway, I don't know your kid, so I can't say either way. She could just be much more ready to make that commitment then other kids that age I've seen. Since people were talking about how they work though, I just thought I would throw in my thoughts also. Like I said, if its something you guys want to do, then by all means go for it. :) Her original post wasn't seeking out opinions on purity rings, it was seeking out shopping advice. Why don't we stick to that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 If it means a lot to her, what a special gesture. I agree, don't get a "purity ring" but a ring that symbolizes her wishes. I think that would mean more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee22 Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Her original post wasn't seeking out opinions on purity rings, it was seeking out shopping advice. Why don't we stick to that?:iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenstet Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 I think there was a segment on TV about purity dances where the daughters go with their dads and are given purity rings. It was a little creepy. This sounds nothing like that though. I think it's great. I would buy her a purity car if it meant she wouldn't have sex till she was older. You should be proud. I like the idea of buying something from a regular jewelry store. What finger do they were it on?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted March 28, 2008 Author Share Posted March 28, 2008 I think there was a segment on TV about purity dances where the daughters go with their dads and are given purity rings. It was a little creepy. This sounds nothing like that though. I think it's great. I would buy her a purity car if it meant she wouldn't have sex till she was older. You should be proud. I like the idea of buying something from a regular jewelry store. What finger do they were it on?? :001_smile: Purity car! Ha! :auto: Dd says people wear it on their left ring finger until they get engaged. Her dream is "he" takes it off of her finger to replace it with an engagement ring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Here is my daughter's ring. This company shipped quickly and the ring was beautiful, it was as represented on the website. She was thrilled with it and wears it all the time. This company has quite a variety from which to choose. Protected Heart It comes with a card or certificate of some sort. I think we threw that part away because we think those commitment cards are sort of silly. It did come in a nice box, though. If you are going to surprise her with it, a nice box adds to the presentation!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 So you wear the ring all the time and it serves as a permanent reminder - especially for if you're feeling frisky or feeling pressured, to resist. Thanks. Some might, but it does not work that way with my daughter. My daughter wears it as an outward symbol of an inner commitment. I don't think anyone knows what the ring signifies unless she tells, but it means something to her. Since the girl has never been alone with a boy, she has not had to worry about pressure or friskiness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 : Dd says people wear it on their left ring finger until they get engaged. Her dream is "he" takes it off of her finger to replace it with an engagement ring. I don't think my very pragmatic 17 year old has such romantic notions. I don't know if she will wear it till marriage, but for now it means a great deal to her to have that ring on her finger. If she marries late in life, which would not surprise me a bit, I doubt she will wear a ring with a heart and a cross on it as an adult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in VA Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Here is my daughter's ring. This company shipped quickly and the ring was beautiful, it was as represented on the website. She was thrilled with it and wears it all the time. This company has quite a variety from which to choose. Protected Heart It comes with a card or certificate of some sort. I think we threw that part away because we think those commitment cards are sort of silly. It did come in a nice box, though. If you are going to surprise her with it, a nice box adds to the presentation!!!! I know someone whose daughter placed her little commitment card inside a card she gave her husband on their wedding day. It was really cool to know that she had kept that card and gave it to her new hubby! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in VA Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 It could be that during some of your talks, you suggested to her the idea of staying pure until marriage. But anyway, I don't know your kid, so I can't say either way. She could just be much more ready to make that commitment then other kids that age I've seen. Since people were talking about how they work though, I just thought I would throw in my thoughts also. Like I said, if its something you guys want to do, then by all means go for it. :) Come on, give her a break, please. She's asking for advice on where to get rings, not everyone's opinion on whether they understand them or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 I find it hard to understand how 13 and 14 year olds can make a decision like that. Most kids I know that age have a hard time deciding what they want to wear in the morning, let alone a decision that is supposed to affect them until they get married. I worry that a lot of the kids who are into those rings want them because their parents want them to want them. Just my two cents. I agree with the others that until the OP asks what we think of purity rings, it might be best to keep our opions to ourselves. But I do want to say that when my kids do the right thing because their parents want them too, I can live with that. It suits me fine if my kids think "I probably shouldn't drink that [smoke that, lie, cheat] because my parents would be so upset and disappointed." Yeah, eventually they have to substititute that with understanding what God desires for them and/or a inner generated desire to live the way they believe is best based on sound reasoning. But kids are kids. They don't have the greatest judgment. If I had to choose between a 14 year old not having s@x because I would be horrified or having s@x because she doesn't believe it's really dangerous and unwise, I'll take the former. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tlcmom Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 It is a white gold band with three small diamonds in it. We told her that there were three to represent that God loves her, dad loves her and I love her. We got it at Fred Meyer Jewelers. They guarantee their diamonds for life against lost. She wears it as an outward sign that she is committed to God and will wait until marriage to have sex like He asks of us. She also had decided to wait to date until she is older and ready for a serious relationship leading towards marriage and she feels that since she has a ring on her finger it helps deter boys from being interested in her. I hope you find exactly what you are looking for! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jann in TX Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Our oldest is almost 18 and still treasures her ring. Our 15 yr old does too for that matter... Older dd wanted a James Avery cross ring--so that is what she received. She is the one who asked for the ring--and she made a commitment (not a vow) when dh gave it to her. We choose an aquamarine/diamond ring for our now 15yr old dd. It is shaped like a bow (dh told her that symbolized her se#uality as a present of great value). By the way--DH took the girls out on 'dates' to fancy restaurants for their 13th and 16th birthdays. The girls and their father all treasured these times out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 http://www.generationsofvirtue.com Friend of mine started this ministry - lots of good resources. HTH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I know someone whose daughter placed her little commitment card inside a card she gave her husband on their wedding day. It was really cool to know that she had kept that card and gave it to her new hubby! :) Okay, I take back my comment about it being silly. That was actually a pretty rude comment and I wish I had left it off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 So, I shared this virtual conversation with my daughter as we were working on supper tonight. She was amused by some of the backlash. I asked her "So, why do you wear it?" She basically said that she has a commitment to God and to herself to not engage in sexual activity of any sort until marriage. She made this commitment on her own, it is hers and hers alone. The ring is but a token. It is most precious to her because it is a gift from my husband and I (aww, that made my night). She wears it because it is precious to her. The opinions of other people are of no consequence to her and therefore she had no need of some big vow making ceremony or pledge card or True Love Waits logo on her person. The ring is a quiet little token of her commitment and of how much her parents support her in her commitment. I'm good with that.:001_smile: I did however tell her about the purity car. Oops. Now she thinks she deserves something more than her little white Saturn.:auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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