Help me love being 40!

[CAMom]

I was really looking forward to turning 40! I was excited about being comfortable in my own skin. I was ready to live in the wisdom I'd gained in my youth.

 

I turned 40 last June and it's just been a really hard year for me. It started just a couple of months before my birthday when I had my first panic attack. Then, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure just a couple of weeks before my birthday. I spent the summer caring for my dying grandmother and held her hand while she died. Since then I've been executing her estate and had to sell two properties and gather a bunch of investments which has been stressful and exhausting.

 

I'm just not liking being 40! I know the above doesn't necessarily have anything to do with being 40 but this year has just had such a black cloud.

 

Can you encourage me to love being 40 (and in my forties in general)? What do you love about it?

[Parrothead]

I was really looking forward to turning 40! I was excited about being comfortable in my own skin. I was ready to live in the wisdom I'd gained in my youth.

 

I turned 40 last June and it's just been a really hard year for me. It started just a couple of months before my birthday when I had my first panic attack. Then, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure just a couple of weeks before my birthday. I spent the summer caring for my dying grandmother and held her hand while she died. Since then I've been executing her estate and had to sell two properties and gather a bunch of investments which has been stressful and exhausting.

 

I'm just not liking being 40! I know the above doesn't necessarily have anything to do with being 40 but this year has just had such a black cloud.

 

Can you encourage me to love being 40 (and in my forties in general)? What do you love about it?

Oh, 40 is great. It is where you begin to be either Maxine or Miss Manners. Me, I'm going for Maxine.

 

The other stuff will eventually be part of your past. Are you working on diet and exercise for your blood pressure? Both will make you feel better-especially if you get the pressure down.

 

Smile. It only gets better from here.

[OrganicAnn]

When you are 80 and look back at this time, you'll think about how young you were and how much happiness, sadness, joy, stress you had in front of you that you could not have even imagined.

 

Also make sure you get checked out my your doctor. A lot of women (and men) has changes - blood pressure, hormones, thyroid etc that can affect your mood and energy level.

[Ibbygirl]

I was really looking forward to turning 40! I was excited about being comfortable in my own skin. I was ready to live in the wisdom I'd gained in my youth.

 

I turned 40 last June and it's just been a really hard year for me. It started just a couple of months before my birthday when I had my first panic attack. Then, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure just a couple of weeks before my birthday. I spent the summer caring for my dying grandmother and held her hand while she died. Since then I've been executing her estate and had to sell two properties and gather a bunch of investments which has been stressful and exhausting.

 

I'm just not liking being 40! I know the above doesn't necessarily have anything to do with being 40 but this year has just had such a black cloud.

 

Can you encourage me to love being 40 (and in my forties in general)? What do you love about it?

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: It sounds like you've had a rough year. I'm so sorry. On a positive note, when you are down, the only other direction to go is up. I hope 41 is a better year for you. :grouphug:

 

 

Oh, 40 is great. It is where you begin to be either Maxine or Miss Manners. Me, I'm going for Maxine.

 

The other stuff will eventually be part of your past. Are you working on diet and exercise for your blood pressure? Both will make you feel better-especially if you get the pressure down.

 

Smile. It only gets better from here.

:lol::lol::lol::lol: So funny! I love Maxine. hehe

[Starr]

Let's think back...I pretended I was still in my 30s and was believed, I had a baby, my knees didn't hurt like now, I could go on and on. You are just exhausted from all of your extras this year.

[sparrow]

Oh, it sounds like you've had some health stuff happen that coincidentally fell after your 40th b-day :(.

 

I really dig 40 and will happily tell anyone who asks that I'm 40 :D. I started feeling like I was coming into my own at around 35, but I feel like I can claim it at 40! I feel like I know what I want for myself, for my marriage, and for my children and I have the wisdom to get there. I look back at stupid, immature mistakes and realize the woman I am now wouldn't make them, but those mistakes made me the woman I am today.

 

:grouphug: You have life experience that can be gleaned AND a future to look forward to. What's not to love about 40?

[Peela]

I am 43 in May and I have loved being in my 40s so far. No matter what is happning on the outside...I just feel much better inside my own skin. I feel ok just being me, as I am. That is a change, I can tell you, from the painully self conscious and shy person I was in earlier years!

I dont compromise myself so much, I dont care so much what other people think, I follow my own heart more. I can't wait till my 50s!

There has to be some letting go, though. I have found that more and more, I feel invisible. On the inside, I still feel like 16 quite often- or at least, ageless. On the outside....I am still sometimes taken aback when I see a handsome young man...and he doesn't even notice me. I have had plenty of male attention in my life, and it has been a bemusing experience to no longer get that. But...its worth it! There is great value and freeom in being invisible- an inherent self worth rather than one reflected back.

Life will always throw us difficult times..I just find it easier to navigate when I am ok with being me.

[Night Elf]

I'm 42 yrs. old. The best part of my 40s so far, is being 42 yrs. old. I am the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything (from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy). And on my next birthday, I'll be back to just a lady in her 40s.

 

My worst age was 25. I cried all day because I was a quarter of a century old! I don't even want to think about turning 50. :p

[Kate in Arabia]

I turned 40 this past August. It actually has been a good year, even though I am facing some of the same health issues you are -- hypertension and panic attacks. Also my eyesight is wonky, and I feel a lot more sore and achy than I used to.

 

But, I do feel more comfortable in my skin. My kids are getting old enough I can start doing more things on my own, plus I can put more responsibility on them (like to help out around the house, etc.). I feel like with my olders the homeschooling is getting easier? More fun? I can introduce them to books and movies that I like, and at the same time I'm re-experiencing all my old favorites, kwim?

 

Also I feel like my marriage has kind of entered a revitalizing stage; didn't they used to break marriages into stages? Anyway, at 15 yrs we've kind of hit a recharge somehow; it probably is due in part to my own shift in outlook.

 

Mostly I think I've just reached a point where for so long I was trying to please everyone else I just reached maximum density on that and now make serious efforts to give myself my own time and opportunities.

Edited March 29, 2010 by Kate in Arabia

[Dooley]

I cried (for no good reason) when I turned 40; I turned 50 two weeks ago and am laughing. I love being older, I dont care what others think so much, I dont feel pressured by fashion, even though I had kids later in life, I can see that light at the end of the tunnel - our oldest is moving out this summer (which I can tell you, will be a giant atmosphere change for the rest of us). I dont like the baggy eyes I have, nor the belly....I also have had some health issues, but nothing that wasn't taken care of either by surgery or pills.

 

Hey, we are growing older daily, lets enjoy it along the way, embrace whatever life brings us and have a ball - we will all suffer much of the same things, cause our bodies are going to start giving us trouble - but we can battle that with the food we eat (although, life is for the living, so eat some fun stuff too) and exercise. Stress can be a killer - watch that. :grouphug:

[CAMom]

Oh, 40 is great. It is where you begin to be either Maxine or Miss Manners. Me, I'm going for Maxine.

 

The other stuff will eventually be part of your past. Are you working on diet and exercise for your blood pressure? Both will make you feel better-especially if you get the pressure down.

 

Smile. It only gets better from here.

 

Definitely don't want to be Miss Manners. :lol: I'm so done with telling other people what to do!

 

Yes, I'm working on diet and exercise.:)

 

When you are 80 and look back at this time, you'll think about how young you were and how much happiness, sadness, joy, stress you had in front of you that you could not have even imagined.

 

Also make sure you get checked out my your doctor. A lot of women (and men) has changes - blood pressure, hormones, thyroid etc that can affect your mood and energy level.

 

That's a great perspective! And, I've been under the close, watchful eye of my dr. since I was diagnosed. Oh, and my thyroid was diagnosed as under active as well right at my 40th. It's like I fell apart.

 

It sounds like you've had a rough year. I'm so sorry. On a positive note, when you are down, the only other direction to go is up. I hope 41 is a better year for you.

 

 

 

I hope you're right about the only way to go is up.;)

 

Let's think back...I pretended I was still in my 30s and was believed, I had a baby, my knees didn't hurt like now, I could go on and on. You are just exhausted from all of your extras this year.

 

Oh the achy knees! I have those, too! Old basketball injury!;)

 

O

I really dig 40 and will happily tell anyone who asks that I'm 40. I started feeling like I was coming into my own at around 35, but I feel like I can claim it at 40! I feel like I know what I want for myself, for my marriage, and for my children and I have the wisdom to get there. I look back at stupid, immature mistakes and realize the woman I am now wouldn't make them, but those mistakes made me the woman I am today.

 

You have life experience that can be gleaned AND a future to look forward to. What's not to love about 40?

 

Thank you! I love everything you said; especially the bolded part! That is so, so true and really something I should love about 40!

 

I am 43 in May and I have loved being in my 40s so far. No matter what is happning on the outside...I just feel much better inside my own skin. I feel ok just being me, as I am...Life will always throw us difficult times..I just find it easier to navigate when I am ok with being me.

 

Very true, Peela! This is definitely something I need to remember.

 

I'm 42 yrs. old. The best part of my 40s so far, is being 42 yrs. old. I am the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything (from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy). And on my next birthday, I'll be back to just a lady in her 40s.

 

My worst age was 25. I cried all day because I was a quarter of a century old! I don't even want to think about turning 50.

 

I had a hard time turning 29. I didn't want to be 30. Funny-I didn't have a hard time with my 30th birthday at all! I guess I'd mourned it all when I was 29.;)

 

I turned 40 this past August. It actually has been a good year, even though I am facing some of the same health issues you are -- hypertension and panic attacks. Also my eyesight is wonky, and I feel a lot more sore and achy than I used to...Mostly I think I've just reached a point where for so long I was trying to please everyone else I just reached maximum density on that and now make serious efforts to give myself my own time and opportunities.

 

I'm sorry you're dealing with some of the same health issues, Kate.:grouphug: My eyesight went wonky too but my new glasses do help with that.;)

 

I love that last line you wrote and I'm working on that for myself!

 

Hey, we are growing older daily, lets enjoy it along the way, embrace whatever life brings us and have a ball - we will all suffer much of the same things, cause our bodies are going to start giving us trouble - but we can battle that with the food we eat (although, life is for the living, so eat some fun stuff too) and exercise. Stress can be a killer - watch that.

 

Very true!

 

Thanks to all of you! You've given me some much needed perspective and lots to think about!:grouphug:

[Mejane]

Well, I turned 50 this year, so 40 looks pretty good in hindsight. :D

[CAMom]

Well, I turned 50 this year, so 40 looks pretty good in hindsight. :D

 

:lol: That's definitely one way of looking at it!;)

[Heather in the Kootenays]

Oh, 40 is great. It is where you begin to be either Maxine or Miss Manners. Me, I'm going for Maxine.

 

The other stuff will eventually be part of your past. Are you working on diet and exercise for your blood pressure? Both will make you feel better-especially if you get the pressure down.

 

Smile. It only gets better from here.

 

:iagree: And let me add that the 50s is even better. I'm going to Maxine as well and I'm loving it.

 

If I had any advice it would be to take good care of yourself. It will really pay off.