No parents allowed in treatment area

[PinkInTheBlue]

Our pediatric dentist highly encourages parents to come back with the children. They almost insist on it. :) However, 5 years ago when we moved here the first dentist we tried was the opposite. When they informed us we would not be ALLOWED to go back with our boys, we walked out. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[stripe]

My pediatrician has never asked to perform a well child exam on a newborn, toddler, or young child without my presence. I don't think she would expect young children to clearly explain their own health situation. Given that I am expected to brush or otherwise supervise their dental hygiene habits, HOW exactly should a young child be "in charge" in such a situation?

 

Given that doctors and dentists have been implicated in child molestation (including vaginal penetration of a young child in less than a minute of solitary time with the child), there is NO WAY anyone is going to be alone with my child. They have also been implicated in diagnosing imaginary dental problems to inflate their fees and operating on children while they scream and are not given pain medicine -- things the parents would have stopped immediately. In those cases, ensuring the parents are not there is a way to do awful things to children without parents' knowledge. I also see part of my role as enforcing their hygiene. How is my child supposed to know or enforce things like hand washing, gloves, and the use of clean instruments? (Many hospitals are now asking patients and their families to ENSURE doctors/nurses/staff wash hands, and have seen a dramatic decrease in infection levels.) I'll pass on the side of Hepatitis, HIV, or some random germs for my kids, thanks.

 

I have had, on the other hand, a female doctor ask to have a female nurse in the room while performing a gynecological exam that really didn't require an assistant. I figured that was for liability issues, and I was an adult at the time.

 

My husband, mother, and any other person I want is allowed to be in the room with me during the labor and delivery of a child. That is seen as being "supportive." I think my children are entitled to have the same amount of support via their parent or other advocate.

[nmoira]

I would never take my kids to a dentist or doctor that refused to let me in the room.

 

In this practice the treatment room is one big room with 5 chairs and only a small dividing wall between each. Most of the chairs can be seen from the lobby; the door between the two areas isn't closed usually.

Layout can make a big difference. My kids go to a no-coercion paediatric dentist. There are no imposing looking dental chairs, only comfy tables layed out in a line in one room with generous space between and seats for the parents. The seats at the feet of the tables and are out of the site line of the child, but if the child is really nervous, most of the preventative procedures can be performed with the child on the parent's lap. It's true that some parents can get their kids riled up, so for the first appointment the parent is given a tour of the facilities (including the "old room" from a previous practice replete with papoose board), while a hygienist gives the child a tour. More than nine times out of ten, by the time the parent's tour is done, the child is already having their teeth cleaned. There's a high hygienist to dentist ratio, so work can be done at a pace comfortable to the child. Once a week they have a therapy dog on-site. The only enclosed room kids enter is the x-ray room.

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

When I was a dental assistant, our office had this policy. It was a small office, the exam rooms were small and there just wasn't room for extra people. However, parents could stand in the door of the room. They could see everything and the kids could see their parents.

 

Something I noticed, though: about 80% of the "scared" kids were suddenly not so "scared" when there was no audience to act up for. Some were definitely afraid, esp the younger kids. But after the first time or two, they were fine. Some of the biggest problems we had with disobedient patients was because of the parents either being extremely anxious themselves and the kids picking up on it, or parents telling their kids horror stories about dentists. Amazingly enough, that happened a LOT. Why in the world a parent would tell their child how painful and horrible the dentist is, then expect them to go in there and sit obediently is a mystery to me.

 

Anyway, we never told a parent they couldn't watch; they just had to do it from the doorway.

 

See, I don't go back because my kids will be scared (they're not). I go back because they cannot articulate to me if anything happens to them that makes them uncomfortable. Also because if the dentist (who comes in after the cleaning) notices a problem, my kids would forget what he said as soon as he was out of sight. As the kids get older, more confident, more articulate, I allow them to go back alone for cleanings (and the 10 year old requested to go in alone for a filling so I let him). I do not take siblings in under any circumstances.

 

I understand the unwillingness of healthcare professionals to allow parents to accompany children. Sometimes it does create extra problems. But I feel that a parent's right trumps any extra problems his/her presence may create. And I speak as a healthcare professional myself (RN). I have noticed there are two kinds of nurses: those who don't want any type of audience, and those who do not care if family stays in the room. There are various justifications for these points of views. I fall squarely into the camp that says, "If the patient requests it, I will do my utmost to accommodate as long as I can still provide necessary care." I also advocate for family presence during code situations, but that's a whole 'nother ball of wax. Sure, I'd like my job to be as easy as possible, but my goal is not an easy job. My goal is to provide excellent care along with patient advocacy, no matter how inconvenient or time consuming that is for me.

[Guest villarosa]

Moms, please don't ever ever give up your parental authority! This is what the Parental Rights Amendent will do if ever adopted by the US

[Catherine]

She told me it is impossible to examine or treat a child without a parent present. But, she is also a mom who "gets it". I wouldn't have been able to take my kids, when they were younger, to a dentist or doctor that wouldn't allow me to be there.

[Annie Laurie]

Why in the world a parent would tell their child how painful and horrible the dentist is, then expect them to go in there and sit obediently is a mystery to me.

 

 

 

I don't understand that either. I have dental anxiety but have never told my kids that and I work hard to appear relaxed at the dentist. They all think going to the dentist is fun, I would never want to foster fear in my kids, and it seems like those kind of parents have got to be in the minority.

[aude sapere]

I personally wouldn't trust any doctor/dentist/nurse/whatever who couldn't practice their medicine on my child with me in the room. It just ain't gonna ever happen that way!!! (Until of course they are older).

 

Same here!

[Tracy in Ky]

Why do doctors and dentists adopt this policy?

 

We've been going to our pediatric dentist for about 8 years. We've been really happy with him. He tries his hardest to make dental visits as caring and not scary as possible for the kids. He'll take the least invasive measure possible and postpone more difficult treatment until the child is older whenever possible. And now he decides to go off and begin teaching at the university.

 

So, he passes off his practice to another dentist. We tried her out about a month or two ago. Everything went fine, except my daughter had two very loose molars that needed to come out. They had been loose for about a year, they were hollow because they had been loose so long, the permanent teeth were erupting under them, etc. She said my daughter should wiggle them and get them out in two weeks or we should come back so they can help get them out. Well, my daughter is the overly sensitive fearful type who didn't wiggle and wouldn't let us anywhere near her teeth.

 

So, we went back today to get the teeth removed and were informed of the new policy. No parents in the treatment area. Dr. Kenny allowed parents but the new dentist feels it is best if the parents stayed in the waiting room. Kids respond better and more calmly if the parents aren't in the room...blah, blah, blah. Uh, huh. Yeah. That's what you said when we first started coming. I said, "Go ahead and try." My DD screamed bloody murder on them and they came running back for me. I've been in the treatment room ever since. New dentist didn't budge. Besides, that was years ago; she's 10 now. Yeah, well, she was crying from the moment her bottom hit the chair, before they even approached her. She cries at every appointment. She does not want to return to this dentist if I can't be there with her. (And just so you know, me being there has never gotten her out of treatment. If anything, I tell them to go ahead with treatment when the dentist is willing to postpone.)

 

So, now we need to find a new dentist.

 

I hate that policy. I don't understand why some doctor's choose it, or why they won't budge for those fearful patients who need additional security.

 

Yikes! I wouldn't go there either.

[Heather in MD]

No way would I patronize a doctor who would have a problem with me staying with my young children. There are too many others who could use my business.

 

That is how I feel as well. Especially since a local doctor has been arrested and accused of molesting more than 100 children.

http://www.delawareonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2010100223004

 

Heather in MD

[vkay]

I'm pretty sure that I saw a 20/20 episode (or something similar) awhile back telling parents not to use these places. I don't remember the details, but I do remember making a mental note to never allow it. So just last week when looking for a new dentist, I too kept running into this same problem......no children past the age of 3 allowed to have a parent. That's nuts!!

 

Anyway, after looking around, I did find a very nice place with a good rep AND an open door policy.

[JoyfulMama]

When my oldest was 2 she broke one of her front teeth. Her first experience at the dentist was having it removed and a cap put in. While I can say it was definately scarey for her (and heartbreaking for me), I was please with the way the pedi dentist handled it. My dd was wrapped in a soft pappoose so that she was restrained, as the dentist didn't want to hurt her unnecessarily with one of the instruments. The novicaine shots hurt - I know that. And my dd was scared. The closest I could be was at her feet so that I was out of the way but still close. I rubbed her feet, helpd them, so that she would know I was there. I sang to her for all the beginning parts, but it got to be that I couldn't do that. When I stopped, the dentist stopped, looked at me, and asked if I was OK, and if I still wanted to stay. Because I was calm I was helpful to my child.

 

My best friend also had taken her boys to that dentist. One visit he was scheduled to have a cavity filled. My friend obviously sat with him. However the dentist asked her to leave the room because she was not calm and was not helping to calm scared her child. She was very angry at this, and was upset that I continued to go to this practice.

 

Saying this to illustrate that I can understand the benefits of having a parent there, but I also understand when the parent isn't helping to calm the child.

[Sputterduck]

I can't believe you posted this today. My son went to the dentist today. I went back, not even knowing they had this policy, because I assumed that at a family dental practice, they allow families.

 

The nurse asked me to wait in the lobby. I said, "No, thank you, I'd like to stay in the exam room." So she left and came back a few minutes later and said, "I really need you to wait in the lobby."

 

So I picked up my purse and went into the hall and asked the dentist, who was standing there chatting with several other nurses at the front desk in full view of the other families in the waiting room, "What do you intend to do to my son that you don't want me to see?" He hemmed and hawed for a few seconds and then just asked the nurse to wheel in another chair. It was that simple.

 

And the thing is, he's a good dentist and I think everyone benefited from the visit. As he examined my son's teeth, he pointed out problem spots, ran his suggestions by me, etc . . . I can't even imagine what the heck all the fuss was about.

 

I think that medical professionals get a little too big for their britches sometimes and forget that Mama Bear trumps their advanced degrees every. single. time.

 

I don't think they'll try that me with on my next visit.

 

I don't care how old my son is. If they are asking me for $1500, then I need to know EXACTLY why they want it.

 

 

That's awesome! What a great reaction!

[Sputterduck]

My pediatrician has never asked to perform a well child exam on a newborn, toddler, or young child without my presence. I don't think she would expect young children to clearly explain their own health situation. Given that I am expected to brush or otherwise supervise their dental hygiene habits, HOW exactly should a young child be "in charge" in such a situation?

 

Given that doctors and dentists have been implicated in child molestation (including vaginal penetration of a young child in less than a minute of solitary time with the child), there is NO WAY anyone is going to be alone with my child. They have also been implicated in diagnosing imaginary dental problems to inflate their fees and operating on children while they scream and are not given pain medicine -- things the parents would have stopped immediately. In those cases, ensuring the parents are not there is a way to do awful things to children without parents' knowledge. I also see part of my role as enforcing their hygiene. How is my child supposed to know or enforce things like hand washing, gloves, and the use of clean instruments? (Many hospitals are now asking patients and their families to ENSURE doctors/nurses/staff wash hands, and have seen a dramatic decrease in infection levels.) I'll pass on the side of Hepatitis, HIV, or some random germs for my kids, thanks.

 

I have had, on the other hand, a female doctor ask to have a female nurse in the room while performing a gynecological exam that really didn't require an assistant. I figured that was for liability issues, and I was an adult at the time.

 

My husband, mother, and any other person I want is allowed to be in the room with me during the labor and delivery of a child. That is seen as being "supportive." I think my children are entitled to have the same amount of support via their parent or other advocate.

 

 

Great post!