working independently

[ProudGrandma]

I would like to see my 8 year old son work more independently, but I am not sure how to work him in that direction. He CAN do some of the work himself (without me hovering over him), but that would actually require him to READ the directions and the work (and he thinks he will die if he does that alone)....any thoughts on how I can gently encourage him and gain confidence in himself??

[Closeacademy]

Start out with something easy like copywork, a page of math problems and/or to read a chapter out of a book he likes.

 

Once he feels comfortable doing that then add in something like writing spelling words or doing a worksheet for spelling.

 

After that you can start adding a little reading and answering questions type of activities.

 

Build it up slowly starting with things that are easy for him to do on his own. Maybe only adding one activity at a time and adding another as he feels comfortable working on his own.:001_smile:

[Parrothead]

Give him the instructions, tell him you are going to load the washing machine (or whatever) that you will be back in a moment, give him a few minutes to work on some of the paper, then come back and check.

 

Once a day leave for a bit longer each time til he is doing at least one subject independently.

[Heather in WI]

I haven't listened to it yet (I've been listening to other lectures), but I recently downloaded Teaching Students to Work Independently, a lecture by SWB. There is a corresponding workshop handout here: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/teaching-students-to-work-independently/

 

HTH!

 

~Heather

[ProudGrandma]

Give him the instructions, tell him you are going to load the washing machine (or whatever) that you will be back in a moment, give him a few minutes to work on some of the paper, then come back and check.

 

Once a day leave for a bit longer each time til he is doing at least one subject independently.

 

this is a great idea, except I have tried this and as soon as I am gone...so is he...off to play with toys etc....or he will just sit there and do nothing until I come back.

[ProudGrandma]

I haven't listened to it yet (I've been listening to other lectures), but I recently downloaded Teaching Students to Work Independently, a lecture by SWB. There is a corresponding workshop handout here: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/teaching-students-to-work-independently/

 

HTH!

 

~Heather

 

thanks, I will check this out.

 

Kathy

[Guest]

I feel for you... it is hard to feel chained to your child when there are so many other things to be done. But: two things. First, he's eight. That's still young, and there is probably a huge spread in terms of how ready kids are at that age to work by themselves. Some probably can go for a couple of hours, some not at all. And second, I've learned from my daughter that some kids are just social, cooperative learners by nature. My daughter processes things by talking and listening, she loves to chat and do joint projects, she considers reading and writing social activities shared and savored with someone she loves. I had imagined that by this time (she's thirteen) she would be working mostly on her own; but she is so much more engaged and enthusiastic when we do math together, or read together, or if I contribute on projects or make my own alongside her. It makes a world of difference in how she sees learning at this point, so I am reluctant to tamper with that too much in seeking out a model of independent learning that does not yet suit her personality. It will come. She now reads by herself for hours at a time, taking short breaks to come share favorite lines or surprising twists of plot with me. She has on several occasions gone off and written an essay alone to show me when she is completely finished. So I can see independence beginning to emerge, and that makes it easier for me to not become too restive or impatient when the rest of the time she wants me with her. Few teenagers want their moms with them, so I try to enjoy that too!

 

At any rate, my main point is that your son will have his own way of learning that might be more socially oriented, or he might just not yet be ready to move away to working on his own. If you have tried some of the strategies others have mentioned and they haven't worked, put it aside for a while and go back and try again in a month or two. It's going to happen when the child is ready; I have had to understand that this might not coincide with when the parent/ teacher is.

[Rosy]

My 8-year-old son is like that...he wants me to read everything to him, he gets distracted or gets up and leaves if I leave the table for more than a couple seconds...drives me crazy. :P I'm not really fighting it for now though...we still have 10 years for him to gain independence. If I can see that he's engaged in something, I'll get up and say "keep working" and do something briefly in the same room--that way if he stops working I can get him back on track. Or I'll be doing something else while he's working (I knit while he's reading, etc.). And we keep our learning times short--15 min. or so. I think it's ok (though annoying) for 8-year-old boys to still need fairly constant supervision, you may just need to adjust your expectations like I did.

[eternalknot]

My 9 year old does the bulk of his work independently (I teach the lesson, then leave him to his work). I think some of it is just his nature; I used to want to work through every problem or question with him, correcting as we went along but that drove him crazy. He wanted me to teach the lesson and leave him be to do the work; when he finished, he wanted to bring it to me for grading and discussion - at which point we'd do the corrections. So that's how we do it, even though the efficiency expert in me is driven crazy by it LOL.

 

But still, despite his desire to work independently he does prefer me to be within spitting distance. I "can" go to drop a load of laundry or take a shower or whatnot but if I'm gone anywhere longer than 10 minutes he will pick up his work and find me, sit down, and work there. We are the only people I know who do "bathroom schooling" because I need regular baths for relaxation LOL and he follows me in there, lays on the tile and does his schoolwork.

 

Perhaps the same is true for your son? He might start to work independently if you were still within close proximity? Maybe sitting at the table, or on the couch together but doing different things?

[Cedarmom]

8 is still so young. I think if he feels more comfortable having you read the instructions, you should. If you read SWB's handout, it is or how to make them more independendant starting at grade 4. That would be 9 or 10. For now I would work on being gone a short time (load of laundry) or being nearby.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

this is a great idea, except I have tried this and as soon as I am gone...so is he...off to play with toys etc....or he will just sit there and do nothing until I come back.

 

 

He's probably just too young, then. My 13yodd, who now does ALL of her work independently, didn't start in that direction until 5th grade. Her younger brother, now in 6th grade, is just this year starting to show independence. I still need to sit with him for harder subjects, to keep him on track.

[AK_Mom4]

I started DD8 towards independence by having her read the directions to me. Pretty soon, it was less of a hassle for her to read them quietly to herself than aloud to me. But it took practice - maybe a couple of weeks to wean her off my explaining things.

 

She still has to work right near me - at my desk or at the table right behind me or her brain wanders off. This will improve with age.

[mcconnellboys]

That's pretty young. I worked with both my boys pretty closely until they were more like 10/11 years old.

[katilac]

I haven't listened to it yet (I've been listening to other lectures), but I recently downloaded Teaching Students to Work Independently, a lecture by SWB. There is a corresponding workshop handout here: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/teaching-students-to-work-independently/

 

HTH!

 

~Heather

 

the rest of the title is "in grades 5-12," so I'm guessing SWB doesn't expect that most younger kids will be very independent! for example, the handout says that, in grades 4 & 5, you should start working toward being just a Hovering Parent in most subjects, and a Parent at the Elbow in just one or two, lol!

 

I think independence before logic stage is mostly a matter of personality. I lucked out with one of my kids, and my other is much more typical. At 9, she will do her simple folder work mostly on her own but with plenty of ongoing commentary (in case we were wondering how that copywork was coming along, lol); I am at her elbow for most everything else.

[Peela]

I think its good to keep in mind that it is one of the great benefits of homeschooling, to be able to spend one on one with your child. I have had to tell myself that a LOT as my son has matured. At 8- wow, he needed me a LOT. At 14- I recently moved his desk close to mine so that his constant asking me things wouldnt disturb his sister so much. He really does work mostly independently now, but reading instructions is still difficult for him, and if I am not breathing down his neck to some degree, an essay will be lucky to be a paragraph long.

With my ds, it has been slowly, slowly, slowly. Having a checklist helped. The workbox system helps A LOT- I've only implemented it recently but it helps my kids get through their work much more independently and quickly.

And patience. I recommend lots and lots of patience.

[fairfarmhand]

I drew, balanced the check book, graded papers, paid bills, ,made grocery lists etc. to keep from going crazy sitting at DD8's elbow :)

[katilac]

I drew, balanced the check book, graded papers, paid bills, ,made grocery lists etc. to keep from going crazy sitting at DD8's elbow :)

 

yes, as long as I am there, dd can generally focus and do the work. I don't have to guide her through most of it, yet things fall apart if I'm not near.