Tenaj Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 We were robbed today while we were at church of all things. And, we're fairly certain that the robber was our former neighbor whom has been at our house twice in the past two weeks asking for finaniclal assistance. The first time she just needed $20 for diapers (she has a 15 yodd, 7 yods, and 18 month yodd). We gave her the money plus a bit extra -she'd lost her job. Her ex is in prison for molesting the oldest, . . . anyway, we wanted to help. A few days later she came by again and asked for $60 for a motel room as they were being evicted. I gave her the money with my dh agreement but after they left decided that was it - next time we would go to the hotel to pay it, or to the grocery to buy what she needed.. . . you get the idea.. . just in case. One of the times she was here, I left her standing by the front door to go retrieve the money from the cupboard where we keep it. She followed me a few minutes later and I wondered, but didn't really realize that she had seen where the cash was stored. Lo and behold, today we return from church to find our back garage door kicked in and the only thing missing is the envelope of money from that cupboard. Not a normal robbery in that there were two laptops sitting in plain view in our living room, a big screen TV, money laying out in the open on two dressers. Nothing else touched and so, we think it was probably her. Yes, circumstantial but lots of fingers that point her direction: The above story, plus, our scrapppy outdoor dog is chained right beside the door that was kicked in and she was friends with our dog from when they lived next door, also, she used to drop my daughter off at home from softball and knew that we sometimes left that door unlocked as a way for the kids to get in if we weren't there right away, plus that in the five years she lived there, she knew exactly when we leave and when we return from church. Police are going to talk to her but won't be able to prove anything. We actually have her footprints in the snow leading up to our french doors where we can see that she looked in the house (and probably tried that door also). So. . . anyway, be careful, even about trying to help someone. It literally makes me sick to my stomach that this happened and only happened because we were trying to be kind to someone down on their luck. I know it could have been worse - no one was hurt and we only lost a few hundred dollars but it will be a long, long time before anyone gets anything out of me in the way of financial help again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 :grouphug: I'm so sorry to hear about this situation; I would also be devastated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 How very disheartening. I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 :grouphug: I'm so sorry to hear about this situation; I would also be devastated. How terrible and even more so because (assuming you are right in your suspicion) it was someone whom you helped in the past and wished well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSNative Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 So sorry to hear this happened. That is horrible. However, don't let it diminish your generosity. Just because one person is desperate and does the wrong thing shouldn't stop you from being the kind person you are. Plus, you never know how God could use this in her life. I keep thinking of Les Mis and Jean Valjean. Even if she doesn't change, don't let her bad behavior change you. Not trying to preach. I've been there before (very similar) I got mad and decided no one would do that to me again. Hated what I let it do to me, kwim. Much better to be wise (def. learn and be careful) and generous. Kudos to you for being a good, loving, generous person. So sorry that this bad thing happened to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5sons Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 This is sad. One of our Elders at church told us this is why they only give actual goods (clothes, food ect.) instead of money. Not that that would have helped in you particular situation, but I have heard of this happening. I'm sorry to hear it. Kristen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 This happened to our neighbors. It was their babysitter who robbed them. Fortunately they were able to call her and accuse her over the telephone. The police were listening in on the other line and when she admitted it, were able to arrest her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 :grouphug: I'm sorry. We had a similar experience. We rented out a room to a young mom trying to get her kids back out of foster care (supposedly lost due to husband's issues and she left him). The room was cheap, and we were trying to help her in other ways, too. She found my checkbook and stole two checks, which she wrote out to herself for $250 and $400. We've never helped someone in that way again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Aww.. that bites. If she shows up again, tell her your home was burglarized and you're unable to help financially, but you'll sure pray for her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 (edited) I'm sorry. :( Edited February 15, 2010 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 So sorry to hear this happened. That is horrible. However, don't let it diminish your generosity. Just because one person is desperate and does the wrong thing shouldn't stop you from being the kind person you are. Plus, you never know how God could use this in her life. I keep thinking of Les Mis and Jean Valjean. Even if she doesn't change, don't let her bad behavior change you. Not trying to preach. I've been there before (very similar) I got mad and decided no one would do that to me again. Hated what I let it do to me, kwim. Much better to be wise (def. learn and be careful) and generous. Kudos to you for being a good, loving, generous person. So sorry that this bad thing happened to you. Wow. Are you me? Am I you? You speak the words straight out of my heart! Maybe it's the same Spirit :D or same part of the body. I'm a left elbow, you know? Maybe you're the right one. :tongue_smilie:I know you get it! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Wow. Are you me? Am I you? You speak the words straight out of my heart! Maybe it's the same Spirit :D or same part of the body. I'm a left elbow, you know? Maybe you're the right one. :tongue_smilie:I know you get it! :lol: Yet you really do not want to think you let someone who needed help down. At first, I believed we did the right thing brushing off our teen thief. Yet years later, he still struggles. At the time, we thought it an isolated, impulsive issue. Now we know healthy folks don't ransack friends, or anyone else. It's not always just about losing your stuff-- you often want to help the person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunshine Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 If she is arrested, which I agree she should be, who will take her kids? Does she have family. Where are the kids now? I can't help but worry about them. The dad is in prison and the mom seems to be heading that way. What is going on in that home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenaj Posted February 15, 2010 Author Share Posted February 15, 2010 If she is arrested, which I agree she should be, who will take her kids? Does she have family. Where are the kids now? I can't help but worry about them. The dad is in prison and the mom seems to be heading that way. What is going on in that home. I agree, it's a mess. I'm in the process of trying to find out how to contact her parents. I know they are in the area and have been very friendly with them in the past - when the couple lived next door the lady's parents babysat a LOT and we saw them almost daily for years but my mind is completely blank as to their last name and I don't know how to contact them. I have some mutual friends on the case though and am hoping to contact them. As far as I know, all the kids are with their mom, though she told us 10 days ago that they were homeless. We have heard through the grapevine that the oldest daughter is heading down the same path as her mother and I do feel so sorry for her as well as the youngers! They've got very little chance in life already it seems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenaj Posted February 15, 2010 Author Share Posted February 15, 2010 Yet you really do not want to think you let someone who needed help down. At first, I believed we did the right thing brushing off our teen thief. Yet years later, he still struggles. At the time, we thought it an isolated, impulsive issue. Now we know healthy folks don't ransack friends, or anyone else. It's not always just about losing your stuff-- you often want to help the person. I'm much calmer today and know that we did the right thing when we tried to help. Even if she was giving us a "line", we did the only thing we could do which is try to help - she's responsible to God for the rest. Honestly, my biggest concern right now is that I feel like the safety of our home has been compromised. Because of sports schedules right now, my oldest daughter is here quite often either by herself or with siblings. I just gave them all orders that if I'm not in the house, every door is locked and if the person pulls in the driveway (we live out in the country and we know her vehicle) there is no question that they immediately pick up the phone and dial 911 and get the police here. I hate to start making all of them come with me everywhere I have to go and I don't want to instill an unreasonable fear in them so I hope I'm handling it right. Chances are we'll never see her again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 I agree, it's a mess. I'm in the process of trying to find out how to contact her parents. I know they are in the area and have been very friendly with them in the past - when the couple lived next door the lady's parents babysat a LOT she told us 10 days ago that they were homeless. If someone is homeless with folks in the area who used to be close enough and functional enough to babysit, something bad is going on, and I hate to mention the D word, but I wouldn't be surprised. ("drugs") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenaj Posted February 15, 2010 Author Share Posted February 15, 2010 If someone is homeless with folks in the area who used to be close enough and functional enough to babysit, something bad is going on, and I hate to mention the D word, but I wouldn't be surprised. ("drugs") Yes, that's what we suspect and the robbery has pretty much confirmed that in our minds. We wish now that when we were helping that we just took her to the store to purchase the things she needed and went the motel to purchase the room there instead of giving her the cash - live and learn (the hard way in this case). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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