BikeBookBread Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Okay, so PDG got $1 from the tooth fairy last night :) Of course, it's burning a hole in her pocket. $1 doesn't buy much. We don't "do" the dollar store type purchases, for a lot of reasons; mainly because we think it just encourages consumerism...PDG is not a saver...she has always been a "gimme girl" :glare: So we are trying to develop a belief in saving to buy better rather than more... BUT....when your little ones get a bit of money from something special (Christmas, Grandma tucking into a card, tooth fairy, etc.) do you let them just blow it? The girls have divided piggy banks with Give, Save, Invest and Spend. Right now we are dividing it thusly: 10% give, 5% invest, 10% spend, 75% spend (I know those are NOT Dave Ramsey numbers! Not looking for a huge percentage debate. We do the 10% for giving because it's easy for her to figure out, and the others because at least she's saving. She doesn't understand investing, so we're just building that up slowly. Just trying to encourage a giving heart and thrift in our girls...more will come with time.) SOOOOO....PDG wants to dig into her piggy bank, because she understands that $1 won't go a long way. She's got a bit in her "spend" category. Do you let your little kids do what they want with that "spend" money? Remember, she's not even 6 yet. I know everything is a life lesson, but life lessons do involve fun sometimes, too. Arghhhh....I am overthinking this! HELP! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Okay, so PDG got $1 from the tooth fairy last night :) Of course, it's burning a hole in her pocket. $1 doesn't buy much. We don't "do" the dollar store type purchases, for a lot of reasons; mainly because we think it just encourages consumerism...PDG is not a saver...she has always been a "gimme girl" :glare: So we are trying to develop a belief in saving to buy better rather than more... BUT....when your little ones get a bit of money from something special (Christmas, Grandma tucking into a card, tooth fairy, etc.) do you let them just blow it? The girls have divided piggy banks with Give, Save, Invest and Spend. Right now we are dividing it thusly: 10% give, 5% invest, 10% spend, 75% spend (I know those are NOT Dave Ramsey numbers! Not looking for a huge percentage debate. We do the 10% for giving because it's easy for her to figure out, and the others because at least she's saving. She doesn't understand investing, so we're just building that up slowly. Just trying to encourage a giving heart and thrift in our girls...more will come with time.) SOOOOO....PDG wants to dig into her piggy bank, because she understands that $1 won't go a long way. She's got a bit in her "spend" category. Do you let your little kids do what they want with that "spend" money? Remember, she's not even 6 yet. I know everything is a life lesson, but life lessons do involve fun sometimes, too. Arghhhh....I am overthinking this! HELP! When my boys are at the store, and they see something they want, I make them wait a week or so before they buy it. During that time (if I think it's junk or something that is poorly made), I will talk with them about it. I'll let them know why I think it isn't the wisest use of money, and sometimes we look up reviews on Amazon-hearing that others spent X amount of dollars on something and it didn't perform as expected helps them to realize that it wouldn't be the best use of their money. If it's overpriced and I know we can find it cheaper, I let them know that as well. If they still want it after the predetermined amount of time, I'll take them back to buy it. I make them wait even if I think it's a satisfactory use of money, because I want to teach them not to spend impulsively. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 for us it helps that we are about 45 miles away from any "real" place to buy things...but I did go through a short lived deal where I let my kids buy "junk" because it was their money...but now, I make them save it becasue I have told them that I am now done buying them anything they they want (only needs) unless it is Christmas or their birthday...so I tell them they have to save up to buy what they want...this has helped the kids learn how not to impulse buy. Mine have some jobs around the house that they can periodically earn money for as well as gift money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 SOOOOO....PDG wants to dig into her piggy bank, because she understands that $1 won't go a long way. She's got a bit in her "spend" category. Do you let your little kids do what they want with that "spend" money? Remember, she's not even 6 yet. I know everything is a life lesson, but life lessons do involve fun sometimes, too. Arghhhh....I am overthinking this! HELP! Yes, I generally let my kids spend their "spend" money as they want. I find it actually teaches more in the long run than if I impose restrictions. Having said that, I do not allow them to blow all their spend money on junk food, but I will allow them to contribute for a dinner out at a pizza buffet, etc. Over the years, they've spent their spend on junky toys, dreaded $1 store buys, books, presents for others, journal/sketching/art supplies, energy drinks (understand I have teens), music, hats, clothes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 BUT....when your little ones get a bit of money from something special (Christmas, Grandma tucking into a card, tooth fairy, etc.) do you let them just blow it? Yes. I don't encourage it (as in, "Hey! We're running to Target, don't forget your $1!) but I don't actively discourage it, either. In our home, it's a gift and it's theirs to do with as they wish. Do you let your little kids do what they want with that "spend" money? Remember, she's not even 6 yet. Yes, and 4 is about the age that we started with that (as opposed to ME using their money to select something for them). 4-5 was an impulse purchase year, but it was also the year they learned that cheap cost = cheap quality :D. Around 6 they became more discriminate shoppers, and by 7 they were delaying their own gratification by making note of what they wanted to purchase ... but price-comparing on the internet and Sunday sales ads. Which was good, but annoying as it meant a future separate trip to the store (like I have nothing else to do LOL). I do require my kids to contribute some of their money to fund their extracurriculars and any extras associated with them. I pay for one extracurricular per season, but any others must be funded by them. Those funds come from their gift and spend accounts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 5 is pretty young. We let them spend it. There is a pleasure in having your own money that's yours to spend as you please. :) My kids have learned (or are learning) on their own that if they spend their money on junk, they don't have the money for the cool stuff. This kind of thinking seems to start around 8-9 for my kids. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 I let my daughter spend her money on whatever she wanted. The first purchase she ever made with her own money was a stuffed bear for $4. I remember when I told her she also had to pay sales tax. She was shocked! The next thing she bought was a Nintendo game for her DS. Again, I reminded her to include sales tax in the purchase price. Again she was shocked! She has since became quite frugal. She has over $1000 saved an no intention of spending it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Yes, we've allowed ds to spend his own money as he wishes. He divides his up in 10% for save, 10% for give, and 80% in spend. He started earning money since he was about 3. I've spent many years giving economics lessons in the toy aisles. As long as something was in our parameters of acceptability he could consider it. Once he would pick something out we would discuss how much of his money it would take, what the tax would be and give him time to decide (not hours, but a few minutes). He learned on his own that most $1.00 toys are junk, things don't work as advertised, and even buyer's remorse. My dh and I both learned economics the hard way so we've always made money management a high priority for ds. At 12 he knows how far his dollar will go, how to research online to find a better price, which stores have ridiculous markup, how much tax to add, and even how to sell some of his stuff to get more money. Sorry, I've written a book, but this is a hot button for dh and I. We feel like money management and discipline in regards to consumerism come with experience. We want him to experience the highs and lows while still in our household. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Let her blow her money now on junk. Best lesson on how NOT to buy junk ever. Get it over with while she's young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 I let them spend it as they wish. If I thought they were choosing disastrously poorly, I would recommend against it, but I would still let them choose. IME, they learn this lesson quickly if the money "burns a hole" and they waste it on some junk toy that breaks before they get home. I wouldn't let them buy an abnormally large amount of candy, because we have food principles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted January 28, 2010 Author Share Posted January 28, 2010 I'm watching and learning.... It's been a tough day. DH is adamant (right now) that she not spend it. She's kind of heartbroken... :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 I'm watching and learning.... It's been a tough day. DH is adamant (right now) that she not spend it. She's kind of heartbroken... :( :confused: That seems to be quite heavy handed and intense for a 6 year old. If it's defined your day, what lesson is really being taught and learned here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted January 29, 2010 Author Share Posted January 29, 2010 :confused: That seems to be quite heavy handed and intense for a 6 year old. If it's defined your day, what lesson is really being taught and learned here? I really don't want the tone of this discussion to degrade, and please know that I'm not picking on you, Joanne!! The situation was not nearly as serious as I made it out to be!! When I said, "It's been a tough day," it was all of about 1:00 our time. To that point, the day HAD been tough, but we recovered. PDG had screamed some awful things at me on the way home from visiting DH for lunch in the car, and I overreacted by posting on the Board right away. I need to clarify: adamant was too strong a word. Brokenhearted, too strong as well. It hasn't defined our day. Much of the day has been quite pleasant. School went well, and we watched The Black Stallion together on the couch. I wouldn't say the atmosphere in our home over this issue is heavy-handed or intense at all. She did get over it, and apologized (on her own...no prompting, out of the blue) for saying some pretty awful things to me. We do take our parenting responsibility very seriously, and like all parents, perhaps pick the wrong battles at times; however we are not inflexible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 I was surprized because his older sibs were thrifty from the get-go. he used to save a bit and then beg me until he was in a frenzy for a lego set. But he's really out grown that now and is saving much better. I'd keep the good messages coming and let her spend it. She will grown and learn from your good example. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 We do not have any rules about how pocket money is spent. It is the children's money to use in any (legal) way they choose. I find it hugely challenging to refrain from intervening, though. We go to some effort to minimize artificial coloring and flavoring in the children's food, and we only buy organic/fair trade cocoa products, so as to avoid supporting the child slavery in cocoa growing. The first time Mr6 went shopping with his pocket money, he bought 8 lollipops (of a popular brand that probably wouldn't officially be classed as food) and 3 really low quality chocolate items. When dh took him to open his own bank account, he only deposited $1.35 in it. So that was a tad "ouch" for me. However, I was proud of how ready he was to give money when I mentioned that we were putting together an extra donation this month (for the Haiti appeal). Tbh I don't really 'get' the concept of giving a child money and then requiring him/her to give it away. We encourage charity by modeling the giving of money, time and goods, and explaining that we have more than we need so we share with those who do not have their basic needs met. I guess what you do ultimately depends on the reasons for giving a child money in the first place. We do it for his financial education, so it's a learning tool, just like buying a math game. If he blows it all and learns the lesson that he who buys loads of lollipops has no money left, that's great. If he actually uses some for something worthwhile, that's a bonus. I have to confess that I do make my opinions clear! I will tell him that I wouldn't buy such and such, and why. Sometimes he even listens :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) I was surprized because his older sibs were thrifty from the get-go. he used to save a bit and then beg me until he was in a frenzy for a lego set. But he's really out grown that now and is saving much better. I'd keep the good messages coming and let her spend it. She will grown and learn from your good example. I would hazard a guess that, to some extent, our 'money personality' is inborn. As a child, I always found it easy to budget and save money, while my brother was constantly running out and begging for loans. Fast forward to us as adults, and he has had ongoing problems with debts and bankruptcy, while I saved up to pay cash for everything, including cars and overseas trips, and never had to borrow money until we bought a house (even then, we are paying it off in about 20% of the standard time despite being a family on one lowish income). He is generally more intelligent than me, and had a similar upbringing and opportunities, but just isn't that good with money Edited January 29, 2010 by Hotdrink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 I let my kids spend their own money as they see fit (well almost, I do not let them spend it on candy/pop etc typically), even if it is dollar store stuff. They have learned actually a lot buy doing that, for example they are learning about the coorelation between cheap price and cheap quality, as often dollar store stuff breaks very quickly and then they have no money and no toy. They are learning that if they want that certain game or better quality item they have to save up, search sales etc. There is also certain items that the kids like to stay stocked up on that they buy with their own money already, again usually at the dollar store but sometimes they have to save for other stores. And certain items that they have already learned it is not worth buying at the $ store(such as their matchbox cars, better to pay the extra 0.33 at walmart for the real ones). The other option if you are really really opposed to stores like the $ store is take her to a thrift shop and let her buy something there for her $, used books or toys, or room decor or whatever. I can't see that as being against your point of not encouraging consumerism, and gives her the freedom to spend her own money. There is more to learning the value of a dollar than just saving and giving. They also have to learn how to comparison shop, quality of the item etc. All valuable lessons as they grow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robsiew Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 We have a similar system with our kids. Give, save, spend. They are allowed to use their spend money on anything they want. Yes, even dreaded $1 store purchases. Even though it's difficult for me to see them do that, we think it's better they learn the lesson of "quantity vs quality" now when they are young, rather than with those first "huge" paychecks when they are older. Our oldest kids are already learning that when they buy something from the dollar store it doesn't last. It took some years of those purchases, but we can already see their habits changing. Also, they only get $2 a week (one dollar of which they can spend) so it makes them really think about what they want to spend the money on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midwestbelle Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 the first thing they did this for was before their 7th birthday, they wanted American Girl dolls. They studied the catalog for months and planned what they wanted. Their initial list was for over $300 worth of stuff so they had to go back to the drawing board and be more realistic! LOL. We took them to the store on their bday and they were so proud to buy the dolls with their own money and walk out with the bags and the receipts. They still take very good care of those dolls. Now they save up for DS games, something for their bedroom, or other things they really want. We do buy silly stuff now and again - their favorite place is the $1 section at Target. I try to limit the amount of sugar they purchase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted January 29, 2010 Author Share Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) So dh and I talked about it last night, and we decided to let them "blow the wad". They opened up their piggy banks and emptied the "spend" categories. We went off to our local independent toy shop (they were having a sale). So glad we went...the girls had a wonderful time looking, figuring out what they could buy now, and what they wanted to save for. I think it was the best lesson we could give them. They each even had a tiny bit left over. PDG divided her leftovers between save, give and spend. We have also decided to start giving PDG an allowance (she'll be 6 next week) for chores that she is already doing, and adding a few more. Off to start another thread about allowance! THANKS TO EVERYONE for your suggestions, advice, etc. Edited January 29, 2010 by BikeBookBread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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