s/o homeschooling teens--Tell me why it was worth it

[Rosy]

If you homeschooled all the way through, I would love to hear your success stories. Why was it worth it to keep them home all the way through? I'm having one of those days where the yellow bus is seeming awfully appealing.

 

Thanks in advance!

[Grace is Sufficient]

I'm in the middle of homeschooling my teens... some days I can see it's worth it; other days I question myself.

 

My purpose in replying is to suggest you ask this on the high school board, however. You may get more responses.

[Nestof3]

Yes, I would have it no other way. Seriously.

 

For one, I believe it helped his character.

 

Secondly, he worked with his Dad through middle and high school and was able to save over $30,000.

[MamaT]

It was so worth it. My two grown sons and I have a very close relationship that I believe is a direct result of being together for large periods of time due to homeschooling. They are young men of integrity and character and I am very proud of them. They also are finally old enough to realize the sacrifice and diligence on my part that homeschooling them demanded. They tell me often how much they appreciate their education.

[Cindy in the NH Woods]

Because the teen years are when homeschooling gets interesting! Your young adult is able to discuss themes and ideas, and may even intrigue you with their insight and humor. You will benefit from your "re-education" as you direct your student's studies. Also, though this sounds cliche, these years just evaporate so incredibly quickly. I actually wish I had kept my 17 year old home for one more year rather than have her in nursing school this year. She is doing well in school, and living at home, but we all do miss her!

[Cedarmom]

Because it is when you begin to see the fruit of your labors. Everything you have done until now was planting the seeds. Now you begin to see your children bloom. They begin discussing ideas with you- not always agreeing with you-but thats part of the fun. They begin exploring their own world. I was so terrified to teach high school. And yes, there were so many days when I wondered if I was doing the right thing. But it has been so great to have the time to spend with my son, and to also give him the time to explore his interests. My son is a senior now, and I am so glad I homeschooled him all the way.

[Sandy in Indy]

As Cindy in the NW Woods said, the teen years are just when things get interesting. It's when we had the best conversations about...well, everything. I know that I am close to both of my older kids because of that time we spent together.

 

Were there days I wanted to pull out my hair and run screaming down the street? You bet! Would I do it again? Sure plan to with #3!

 

Sandy

[Starr]

These are the last of our years with them. They are fun, interesting, maturing, driving me crazy and we are still all in it together. And yes they do plenty of things out in the world to get ready to move on but we have plenty of time to talk about everything.

[Kari C in SC]

Some people will not agree with what I did with high school, but it worked for us. My oldest was/is not a school type of guy. I started high school with him with a full load of classes. Each year became more and more work and fighting to get him to fully do these classes. When he was 16, I just dropped it down to the basics. I knew that HE was not going to learn a darn thing in English Lit or World History because he simply did not care. I am not saying he was a bad kid. He wasn't. He just didn't do school the way other kids do school. So... after a long talk with my dh, we decided he had to work if he wasn't going to apply himself at school. A new Chick Fil A opened and he was there the day the hiring began. He helped them open the store and worked his bottom off there for the next couple of years. He worked the 5am shift to unload trucks. He could not have done this in traditional high school. I think he learned a whole heck of a lot more there, watching a business open, struggle, emerge - than he would have learned at the local high school. One thing stuck in my mind during all of this... I met my dh when he was 15. He dropped out of school and eventually got his ged. When he was 19, he started college for an AS in Computer Science. When he was 21, he took his AS degree, put it on a shelf, went to trade school to be an auto mechanic. He has been doing that for almost 18 years. He really had no clue what he wanted to do when he was in high school. When his brain matured, he matured and figured it out. Well... the same thing happened with our oldest ds. When he was 19, he joined the Army. He had many reasons, but some of the top ones were that he just really wasn't sure what he wanted to do. This would give him some time and some college money. As much as I hate deployments and him living in Alaska when he is "home" - I feel it was a great decision for him. Oh and one more thing - we had a great group of high school kids that were in a homeschool group together. They did so much together and all pretty much supervised by other homeschool parents. The friendships he made then have lasted all this time. He just took 3 of those friends to Disney with us when he was on leave last month. Without our homeschool group, I doubt he would have had those kinds of friendships. So - I have no regrets on homeschooling all the way through. I have no regrets on making a program that suited him. Good luck!

[ereks mom]

If you homeschooled all the way through, I would love to hear your success stories. Why was it worth it to keep them home all the way through? I'm having one of those days where the yellow bus is seeming awfully appealing.

 

 

...ER, now a college junior, received scholarships that covered EVERYTHING! During ER's high school years, I really stressed over whether I was doing a good job with his studies. I began to relax a bit when he received his first round of ACT scores and he got a composite of 30. I relaxed a little more when the scholarship offers started rolling in. I relaxed even more when the admissions officer at his chosen school was so impressed with ER that he said to him, "I want you to be the poster child for this school!" I relaxed a LOT more when he got his grades for the first semester of his freshman year and I saw that he had made 8 A's and 1 B. And I've continued to relax a little more at the end of every semester when his grades are posted and I see the words DEAN'S LIST there alongside many A's and a few scattered B's .

 

That's my validation, the PROOF -- for all to see -- that it was worth it. But I know that what really made it worth the struggles and the stress was that he and I made these accomplishments together. We grew our relationship, working side by side during his teen years. We really got to know each other, and we are close. (That's true of our whole family, not just ER & me.) He knows without any doubt that I am his ally. We are now more than just mother & son. We are friends. And although the scholarships are the "proof", the relationship that we share is what truly makes it worth it.

Edited January 7, 2010 by ereks mom

[Karen in CO]

...

That's my validation, the PROOF -- for all to see -- that it was worth it. But I know that what really made it worth the struggles and the stress was that he and I made these accomplishments together. We grew our relationship, working side by side during his teen years. We really got to know each other, and we are close. (That's true of our whole family, not just ER & me.) He knows without any doubt that I am his ally. We are now more than just mother & son. We are friends. And although the scholarships are the "proof", the relationship that we share is what truly makes it worth it.

My son is also a Junior in college this semester and also getting mostly A's. The college and the grades made me feel like I didn't ruin his life, but the real payoff from homeschooling him is this. It is the relationship that he has with me and the rest of our family. We are close. I respect him as the adult he is becoming. There was a stretch when I wasn't sure I if I would survive him being home, but that time would have probably been a lot harder if we didn't have that close relationship. It is wonderful to be able to discuss literature, philosophy, history or any of the other subjects with your teen when you know that otherwise you wouldn't be able to get them to say anything meaningful to you.

 

A typical conversation with him the year he was in ps highschool was, 'How was your day?' "Fine." That is much different than the hour long discussions over the Allegory of the Cave or the what Shelley's idea of being human was. Those conversations and many more hours like them carried us through highschool and the teenage years. Now that handsome young man makes me proud, and I have quit worrying that he will be a bum like his friends.

 

Chin up - the teen years are tough no matter what bus you put them on.

[Rosy]

Thanks everyone! Just to clarify--my kids aren't teens yet, I have a 9, 7, 6 and 4 year old. And I'm tired of the arguing and the constant correcting of pencil grips and not being able to leave my son's side...and yet, I've known homeschooled teens and graduates that are wonderful people. Sometimes when mine are driving me crazy I just need to hear that it's all worth it in the long run. :)

[Liz CA]

It is less painful to learn Character at home by seeing good examples than having to learn it (if at all) through trial and error (and there is some of that anyway).

For me the academic advantages are second to the heart and soul that is developing in a young person. Academics are usually good since they get one on one instructions but even if you had missed something (haven't we all?), he/she can make it up quickly, however character and maturity take longer to integrate than one semester of Calculus.

[laughing lioness]

Absolutely. Homeschooled young adults (we deliberatly refrain from using the word "Teen" at our house) rock, when trained well. They cook, clean, are creative, babysit, love their sibs, read aloud, take great photos you can use on your blog :001_smile:, plan holidays, host tea parties for younger sibs, teach, make phone calls... and do their own school work, usually without complaint.

My oldest travled extensively after high school, was awarded a great scholarship to a great school, is on the dean's list, working p.t. and loving it. She has been gifted with 2 week-long seminars in linguistics and LOVES it. Who knew (being a recently recovered grammar-phobic homeschooling mother) that she would love learning languages and really, really DIG grammar?!

Our second is home for the year and a huge help, especially with all of the extra work due to the fire. She's been the queen read-alouder this month, done most of the dishes and has taken on cooking dinner a couple of nights a week.

And, like so many others, our older kids are a blast to hang out with.

[LibraryLover]

My favorite thing about hsing my teen is that we get to spend so much time together. I don't seen a difference in her behavior compared to her schooled sibs. They are all close, intelligent and thoughtful. They all get along well. We are a family team.

 

However: What I do miss about my 16 yr old attending school and my oldest away at college is that I don't see them as much. I love when all of our children are gathered.

 

My oldest is home from college until end of the month and I love to see them all together. I love the laughter, and I love the older one talking to the youngest so thoughtfully and respectfully. He's taken them sledding, he's gone bowling with his brother. I love to see them play board games in the living room, but I also just like having them strewn about the house, reading, playing piano, sitting near each other etc.

 

If I could have one wish, it would be to slow down time.

[littlebug42]

I don't have kids that old yet but my sister has a soon to be 16 year old son who I can say that not only do I love as my nephew but I like and respect him as well. He just got an A in his first college class and he is extremely bright. He also has a wonderful family relationship.

[Catherine]

He's a *great* kid. He's SO much more relaxed (he went back to school for ninth grade), happy and playful. I'd cite for him not only the academic benefits (he's taking hard courses, at his level), but the lack of stress-in our world, middle class kids are under incredible pressure in high school and it's really, really tough on kids. I am so glad he is able to still study and work hard, but have time for sufficient sleep, a summer job, play his instrument and a sport, and play with us and his brothers. It's all totally worth it!

 

ETA: he's also able to choose the level of challenge he takes on-there's no "herd mentality"-so he's NOT taking 5 APs-he's taking one, his favorite and chosen field, calculus, and CC classes and history with mom. He's going to Europe next year as an exchange student for his senior year-it's just a better, more sane and realistic life. Plus, the household responsibilities and sibling relationships. It's all good!

Edited January 8, 2010 by Catherine
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