Why are some boys "reluctant" readers?

[smilesonly]

My ds who was 8 in July, prefers to be read to-but resists reading himself. His reading ability is above his grade-he just doesn't like to read. But, he loves books-as long as we are reading to him or he is listening to one on cd.

 

I have tried different approaches, and still, he is resistant. So, I google the topic, and find there are entire websites dedicated to this! Obviously there is something I, and others, are missing. I admit it is difficult to visit the library (1-2x week) and find quality and/or appropriate reading material for him. If your ds isn't into fantasy or history, there seems to be little choice.

 

I feel like I have done something terribly wrong-yet also feel I am not alone.

 

Any comfort for this momma? Informative articles? Throw me a bone?

[Kate in Arabia]

My ds was 8 in August, and has been a lot slower to pick it up as well - also loves audio books and to be read to. I think it's just a development issue, that he's taking a bit longer for it all to come together for him. I will say, I tried a pretty large variety of books to tempt him, I think sometimes what will trigger their interest is hard to predict.

 

My oldest, ds 12, was an early reader at 4 yrs. Ds 8 is still not a fluent reader, but is steadily improving. It took a while to find the type of book that he enjoys.

[smilesonly]

My ds was 8 in August, and has been a lot slower to pick it up as well - also loves audio books and to be read to. I think it's just a development issue, that he's taking a bit longer for it all to come together for him. I will say, I tried a pretty large variety of books to tempt him, I think sometimes what will trigger their interest is hard to predict.

 

My oldest, ds 12, was an early reader at 4 yrs. Ds 8 is still not a fluent reader, but is steadily improving. It took a while to find the type of book that he enjoys.

 

Thanks, Kate.

 

You may be right about it being developmental. My dd was so far ahead where ds is at this time-and remains ahead of her peers. I must say though, that ds's comprehension is above and beyond what his older dd's was. He did learn to read later, but his comprehension is amazing. Have you found this to be the case with your younger ds, too?

[Liz CA]

When my ds was your ds's age, we experienced the same "reluctance".

I kept looking for interesting books and asking what subjects he would like to explore. Eventually, he was reading. I think it's harder in a "click here, see flashing image, click there" world to cultivate the quiet occupation of reading.

 

[Peela]

Just keep going with lots of read alouds. My son is dyslexic and hated reading when I took him out of school at age 7- he basically couldnt read. By 8 he could basically read but still hated it. But I made him read for a certain amount of time each day- 10 minutes, 20 minutes- it crept up.

Then when he was 9.5, he took off. I was reading aloud to him The Sea of Trolls, which is a thick book. When I had read enough for the evening, he asked me if he could continue reading it himself, and that was it, he never looked back. And for ages he would only read "thick" books- anything else was beneath him ! He has read far more than his sister who never had a problem with reading. He does like fantasy though.

I still read aloud, during schooltime, and they still love it.

[Ellie]

I'm not convinced it's just a boy thing. There have been plenty of messages right here on WTM about girls not wanting to read.

 

The truth is that not everyone loves to read. I know--hard to believe, isn't it? But it is true.

 

My recommendation is not to let it bother you. Continue going to the library, reading aloud to him from good books (if he'll let you, including books which are not fantasy or history), and just let it go.

[Kate in Arabia]

I must say though, that ds's comprehension is above and beyond what his older dd's was. He did learn to read later, but his comprehension is amazing.

Yes, he also has a great spoken vocabulary.

 

Also, he is strong in math and has interesting ways of approaching math concepts that are very different from mine and his older brother's. I don't know if it is related, but it seems to me his mind organizes things differently (than what I'm used to); as long as he is making steady progress on the reading I figure he'll be ok.

[smilesonly]

I think it's harder in a "click here, see flashing image, click there" world to cultivate the quiet occupation of reading.

 

Yes, this is true. Though, my ds has had vision issues, and b'c of that, he has never played one video game or spent much time on the computer. He seems to melt in these quiet read aloud times.

 

Just keep going with lots of read alouds. My son is dyslexic and hated reading when I took him out of school at age 7- he basically couldnt read. By 8 he could basically read but still hated it. But I made him read for a certain amount of time each day- 10 minutes, 20 minutes- it crept up.

Then when he was 9.5, he took off. I was reading aloud to him The Sea of Trolls, which is a thick book. When I had read enough for the evening, he asked me if he could continue reading it himself, and that was it, he never looked back. And for ages he would only read "thick" books- anything else was beneath him ! He has read far more than his sister who never had a problem with reading. He does like fantasy though.

I still read aloud, during schooltime, and they still love it.

 

This is very encouraging! Maybe I just need to push through the moans, and persevere. Thanks for sharing.

 

I'm not convinced it's just a boy thing. There have been plenty of messages right here on WTM about girls not wanting to read.

 

The truth is that not everyone loves to read. I know--hard to believe, isn't it? But it is true.

 

My recommendation is not to let it bother you. Continue going to the library, reading aloud to him from good books (if he'll let you, including books which are not fantasy or history), and just let it go.

 

I know not everyone loves to read (and, yes, it is hard to wrap my own brain around!lol!)-I am just so surprised by the resistance. Like I am torturing him-and I really do knock myself out trying to find good reads!

I suppose I haven't read around here long enough to know there have been similar threads concerning girls. I was so shocked when I googled it, and up came links to the same topic.:confused:

I'll try not to let it bother me!;)

 

Yes, he also has a great spoken vocabulary.

 

Also, he is strong in math and has interesting ways of approaching math concepts that are very different from mine and his older brother's. I don't know if it is related, but it seems to me his mind organizes things differently (than what I'm used to); as long as he is making steady progress on the reading I figure he'll be ok.

 

Kate, my ds has a scary huge imagination! To say his mind organizes things differently would be an understatement!:lol: I am often floored at what he comes up with-way over this mommas head for sure. Maybe his brain is so busy *thinking* he sees slowing down to do the actual reading a chore. (?)

 

Who knows. Thanks for the reassurance, mommas! I figured someone would pop in and shout out a stat about the whys.:D

[Jean in Newcastle]

There are many other genres that he might be interested in:

 

mystery

 

folk tales

 

poetry

 

adventure

 

non-fiction - true life stories

books about science

biography

how-to books

etc.

 

What read-alouds does he especially like?

[smilesonly]

There are many other genres that he might be interested in:

 

mystery

 

folk tales

 

poetry

 

adventure

 

non-fiction - true life stories

books about science

biography

how-to books

etc.

 

What read-alouds does he especially like?

 

He especially likes mysteries,adventures,non-fiction, and is a wee bit interested in history. He likes the bang 'em up, hike a tall mountain with nine bloody toes to clear land kind of history.:D

 

After we are done Christmas schooling, we will start reading the illustrated classics, starting with Swiss Family Robinson(sp?). This will be the type of book where I read two pages(every other one is illustrated) then he reads two, and so on for 30 minutes.

[smilesonly]

When my ds was your ds's age, we experienced the same "reluctance".

I kept looking for interesting books and asking what subjects he would like to explore. Eventually, he was reading. I think it's harder in a "click here, see flashing image, click there" world to cultivate the quiet occupation of reading.

 

 

Liz,

I just wanted to add that I really do agree about our "click and flash" world making it hard for everyone, really, to calm their minds down. Here it is in the dead of night, and a book isn't helping my insomnia-so I opened up dh's laptop-again.

I also hope I didn't come off sounding like "my kid is so holier as he isn't a video-gamer." I read what I wrote and can see how one could interpret it that way.:o:blushing: But to be honest, as video games *used* to be aimed at boys(didn't they? I could be wrong here.) and the lure of the net is always there, it would make sense that some boys(and, as Ellie pointed out, some girls) would rather go for the click and flash.

 

That's all.:D

[SquirrellyMama]

My son is 7 and is starting to read but doesn't like to do it on his own even though he can. He told me that his reason was that he was afraid I wasn't going to read to him anymore if he read by himself. He loves to snuggle in and be read to.

[Hedgehogs4]

Yes, he also has a great spoken vocabulary.

 

Also, he is strong in math and has interesting ways of approaching math concepts that are very different from mine and his older brother's. I don't know if it is related, but it seems to me his mind organizes things differently (than what I'm used to); as long as he is making steady progress on the reading I figure he'll be ok.

 

it sounds as if you're describing my son. it has only been this year that he has voluntarily used reading as any kind of entertainment. he LOVES Calvin and Hobbes (i know, it doesn't really count--but it's time with his nose in a book), The Henry and Ribsy series, and now he's reading King Arthur and his Knights. He also (strangely) read Alice in Wonderland and loved that...I can't figure him out.

 

i will say this: we're using a writing curriculum for the first time this year (SWB's WWE) and this seems to REALLY be pricking his interest. The selections leave him hanging and he wants more. That was why he picked up Alice in Wonderland.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

My 10yo son read through the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy at 8yo, but it is like pulling teeth to get him to read any book that he did not decide to read himself. He also thinks that many books are not worthy of his attention. It takes him twice as long to read Snow Treasure as it does one of those Star Wars books by Timothy Zahn. I have also resorted to reading aloud to him and using audio tapes. He seems to get more enjoyment out of assigned literature that way. Oh Well.

[Mandamom]

I have 2 kids that don't like to read. One is a boy and one is a girl. I also have 2 readers that I sometimes I have to stop them from reading, again one is a boy and the other is a girl, because I they need to move around some so they don't turn into a piece of furniture.

 

Of the two that don't like to read, one reads well above grade level and the other is at level (was below but is improving) -- both of them are very slow readers and comprehending is very difficult. The oldest reads several grades above his grade level. The common factor for both of these two is that they are VERY slow readers. Comprehension is a struggle for both of them.

.

The older one (dss 13) I never figured out he had a problem with this until fairly recently but the younger one (dd9) I figured out last year. Her comprehension is getting better but her speed is still significantly below average. Dss13 has figured out how to comprehend better but still struggles to keep up in the classroom just because he reads very slowly.

 

Of the two that love to read (both read well above average) they can read at a normal speed and comprehension is easy.

 

So, in my house loving to read is because reading is a fun and relaxing activity while for the other two reading is really hard work.I remember giving my 13 year old the choice between cleaning his room and reading a book and he chose cleaning.

[EKS]

It's most likely that it is still too difficult. His reading level, the level where he reads fluently and easily and automatically, is not yet at his interest level.

 

Just keep practicing and it should come (and keep reading aloud to him too).

[smilesonly]

My son is 7 and is starting to read but doesn't like to do it on his own even though he can. He told me that his reason was that he was afraid I wasn't going to read to him anymore if he read by himself. He loves to snuggle in and be read to.

 

Aww. :grouphug: My ds is also a snuggler-I'll be sad when he stops wanting this!

 

i will say this: we're using a writing curriculum for the first time this year (SWB's WWE) and this seems to REALLY be pricking his interest. The selections leave him hanging and he wants more. That was why he picked up Alice in Wonderland.

 

Hmm. This is interesting and good to know. Food for thought. Thanks!

 

My 10yo son read through the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy at 8yo, but it is like pulling teeth to get him to read any book that he did not decide to read himself. He also thinks that many books are not worthy of his attention. It takes him twice as long to read Snow Treasure as it does one of those Star Wars books by Timothy Zahn. I have also resorted to reading aloud to him and using audio tapes. He seems to get more enjoyment out of assigned literature that way. Oh Well.

 

On a scaled down note, I can relate to this! It's both frustrating and challenging.

 

I remember giving my 13 year old the choice between cleaning his room and reading a book and he chose cleaning.

 

Your home runs the scope!! This is too funny. I must say, that this sounds like my nephew six years ago! Today he is both a book worm and "Monk.":D

 

It's most likely that it is still too difficult. His reading level, the level where he reads fluently and easily and automatically, is not yet at his interest level.

 

 

For *my* ds, I believe you just NAILED it. A huge :grouphug: to you. I am off to discuss with dh...so much to think about on this, it took me reading this a couple times to realize this is IT. Thanks so much. :auto: