littlebug42 Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Tomorrow will be our first family Christmas celebration since my Dad died in August. I have been having a really hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. My children are feeling it as well. My relationship with my Dad was always very complicated and his death has hit me a lot harder than I thought it would. It just hurts - a lot. I know there is nothing to be done but I just needed to get it out before I crumble. I am the one that ends up being the emotional rock of my family and sometimes I need a shoulder too. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Oh Jenni. I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I'm so sorry for your loss. :grouphug: My dad died ten years ago, and I well remember our first Christmas without him. Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I'm so sorry for your loss. My reaction to my brother's death still takes me by surprise, sometimes--:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 :grouphug: When I feel blue about my Papa, I make his favourite cake, or read my son a story he read to me and tell my son "Grandpapa liked this cake best of all" etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 My father died a week ago yesterday. I'm so sad. It's sort of a surprise how sad I am, since a lot of him was lost to me along the way because of Alzheimer's Disease. But even though I wasn't left with his best, youngest self, I honestly miss my demented, disabled father so so so so much. I don't really know what to do with myself, even though from the outside it would appear that I have a LOT to do if I want to get my life together. I want to go sit with him. I am supposed to pick his cremains up tomorrow. Christmas Eve. My heart goes out to you. Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm so sorry for all of you who have lost loved ones this year. My dad is oxygen dependent and ailing. Every year I recognize how truly blessed I am to have him with us. I think I needed the reality check this year as I was really feeling down about all of our troubles right now. I'll go hug my dadda and think of all of you who can't and say a prayer of peace for you. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 Thanks everyone. I am sorry to hear that so many of you have experienced this kind of loss this year (or at all). We lost my FIL, to whom I was extremely close, almost 4 years ago. I still feel that loss (I am wearing his flannel shirt as I type this) every day but this with my Dad is hitting me in a different way as I just have this feeling like something inside me is missing. I also hate that my girls do not have either of the grandfathers growing up. My father's Dad died before I was born and my mother's when I was 10 so I know how they feel. I think it will help to be with my family today. I hope all of you can find comfort as well. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy in Indy Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I lost my mom in June, and I completely understand what you mean...and how you're feeling. I still cry almost every day, and the holidays have brought such an overwhelming sense of sadness. There's something about Christmas with both of my parents missing that just brings the grief to the forefront. It's the little things that I haven't done this year. Our decorations aren't really complete (though I guess since it's Christmas Eve they're as done as they're going to get!). I haven't gotten the Christmas dishes out of the cabinet yet, something I usually do by the day after Thanksgiving. It's hard. Losing a parent is mind-boggling hard. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm so sorry :grouphug: I was there a couple years ago myself with my own dad, and our very complicated relationship. This is another year of loss for our family with my beloved grandfather. You know what has helped a lot? Changing some of our holiday traditions. Sometimes traditions bring comfort, but sometimes they're just painful reminders of the person who is no longer with us. Even if you change just a few small things, it can really help. I also gave up sappy holiday movies. It's A Wonderful Life was my favorite, but i can't watch it anymore. Now I watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I find humor to be very healing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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