My MIL just called to tell me to cook the Easter ham better

[Pajama Mama]

I love her, I do. But she'll call for no reason except to tell me how to do something better. She calls and says that I need to cook the ham through more. Umm, the ham is already cooked when I buy it. I put it on low in a cooking bag and it cooks for hours. What the heck does she want from me?

 

She's an older lady and she likes food that is essentially falling apart. She likes when I make roasts in the crockpot because they are shredding apart. I personally don't want my ham falling apart. When she called I just said "Uh-huh, Ok, Thanks" I don't fight with her. I'm gonna do what I want anyway. Lord, give me strength. I can see Easter dinner will be a fun time:rolleyes:

[Claire]

I would *love* to have my mother call with those instructions, but my perspective is completely different. My Mom's been dead for 30 years. I'd be looking forward to Easter dinner...... Might even cook a part of the ham differently just for her...... (sigh. But I know what you mean too, as I have a couple of siblings who are ...umm... interesting.)

[PariSarah]

I love her, I do. But she'll call for no reason except to tell me how to do something better. She calls and says that I need to cook the ham through more. Umm, the ham is already cooked when I buy it. I put it on low in a cooking bag and it cooks for hours. What the heck does she want from me?

 

She's an older lady and she likes food that is essentially falling apart. She likes when I make roasts in the crockpot because they are shredding apart. I personally don't want my ham falling apart. When she called I just said "Uh-huh, Ok, Thanks" I don't fight with her. I'm gonna do what I want anyway. Lord, give me strength. I can see Easter dinner will be a fun time:rolleyes:

 

I'm sorry. I hope it doesn't go so badly as all that.

 

Is it very naughty of me to admit that I think of life with . . . um, certain persons with bad habits like that . . . as very similar to life with toddlers?

 

Compliment, distract, and redirect. Compliment, distract, and redirect. Compliment, distract, and redirect.

 

"Oh, you're so clever to have climbed up onto the bookshelf like that! Why don't you climb onto this sofa instead, and I'll put down pillows so you'll be safe!"

 

"Oh, how sweet of you to think of me while I'm cooking this ham. You know, I was trying to decide what to do with the leftovers. Do you have any suggestions?"

 

"Oh, you want to help mommy with the dishes! That's why you're climbing into the dishwasher--how helpful you are! Here, why don't you stack these nice tupperware containers!"

 

"No, this ham isn't as tender as my pot roast. It's so sweet of you to say such nice things about my pot roast--it makes me feel so good. What do you like to serve with pot roast--bread or noodles?"

[Mrs. Readsalot]

My MIL will continue to cook an oven stuffer a half hour after the popper pops. Then she wonders why hers are always dry and mine are so moist. Go figure . Oh and guess what we are having at her house for Easter dinner.:tongue_smilie:

Also even though MIL knows my dh does not get along with his brother, his brother's girlfriend and his brothers girlfriends mother, my MIL as also invited them to dinner also. She invited them after she had a conformation from us. I know the fireworks are going to fly. It is just so frustrating.:sad: It actually makes me want to cancel holidays. They just seem to always have to include drama on my inlaws side.

[Holly IN]

I must be doing something wrong if a ham is supposed to be falling apart:confused:

 

I never heard of ham falling apart. Is it supposed to? I know roasted meat does but ham?

 

Holly

[G5052]

Easter is obviously important to her, and no having the ham "just right" sticks in her mind as a serious problem. Cook the ham the way you want, and just let he pass on it if she doesn't like it. Remind her that she cooked it the way she wanted in "her time" and now it's "your time."

 

I miss my MIL even though we didn't always have a good relationship. I miss her "reminders" because behind it was a love of family and being together. She lived many states away and used to call me all the time about things like that. She would remind me "about" the Easter ham even if she wasn't able to come for the meal! Then I would have her tell me about how she cooked Easter meals in "her time." That's what she wanted. She wanted someone to recognize her past. Maybe you need to recognize your MIL for "her time."

[Jennifer in NH]

:lol::lol: I'm sorry, but this really tickled my funny bone! My MIL is full of back handed compliments, but never any advice! If you cook the ham in a crockpot all day it will fall apart, no problem! Now, I've over cooked mine before and had it WAY too dry! Oops! That's when we call out for Chinese food! Of course my ILs don't visit very often:001_smile:.

[Remudamom]

Mil comes into kitchen, (this is very dangerous in my kitchen, even if you are a very good friend I'm likely to run over you just if you stand in the wrong spot) looks at frying chicken and says "I always do it such and thus way, blah, blah, blah."

 

Immediately take off apron, hand it to her, toss over the spatula or whatever is in your hand and say "Praise the Lord, do it yourself, I'm outta here." March into the den with a drink, put your feet up and turn on a movie. Direct all questions about when dinner will be served to grandma. You win either way.

[Mekanamom]

Mil comes into kitchen, (this is very dangerous in my kitchen, even if you are a very good friend I'm likely to run over you just if you stand in the wrong spot) looks at frying chicken and says "I always do it such and thus way, blah, blah, blah."

 

Immediately take off apron, hand it to her, toss over the spatula or whatever is in your hand and say "Praise the Lord, do it yourself, I'm outta here." March into the den with a drink, put your feet up and turn on a movie. Direct all questions about when dinner will be served to grandma. You win either way.

 

LOL!! I have had to tell two relatives, upon their complaining about picky little things: "Thank you so much for volunteering!! I am Sooo Glad I don't have to do that now that you are going to be taking care of it."

 

Hehehehe. It turned out well; they took it with pretty good humor.

 

In the ham situation I'd just buy one of those little tiny half hams and stick it in a little crock pot all day just for MIL. Not that much extra work. Everyone else could eat the normal ham and she could have her shredded pork. ;)

[AprilTN]

My MIL, bless her heart, has never given me compliments about anything. A few years ago, we invited her over for lasagna. She ate and then in her most gruff voice said, "Is that lasagna homemade or is that one of those FROZEN DINNERS?"

 

I replied, "It is homemade."

 

She replied, "Hm." No emotion, no other words.

 

Fast forward to last Thanksgiving. I cooked a feast and had my family and my MIL over. Everyone was so complimentary, except one person (guess who!). After the meal, my MIL pointed to my delicious, homemade cornbread dressing, and said in her same gruff voice, "Is that dressing homemade or is that a MIX?"

 

"It's homemade."

"Hm"

 

I gave her the benefit of the doubt on the lasagna, but she KNEW that dressing was homemade, yet that was her way of insulting me.

 

:boxing_smiley:

[Pajama Mama]

I love my MIL. I was just venting here. I always listen to what she has to say. Occasionally, she has a great idea. Usually, she's telling us how to do things better. But that's her personality. She doesn't usually mean it in a bad way. She's trying to be helpful. I find it funny that she will compliment dh or me to other people. I've had folks tell me that my MIL said this or that about us(nice things) But she will never say them to us. She's a very vocal person who doesn't think before she speaks. Hmmm--maybe that's where my aspie gets it from:)

[Brigitte]

Mil comes into kitchen, (this is very dangerous in my kitchen, even if you are a very good friend I'm likely to run over you just if you stand in the wrong spot) looks at frying chicken and says "I always do it such and thus way, blah, blah, blah."

 

Immediately take off apron, hand it to her, toss over the spatula or whatever is in your hand and say "Praise the Lord, do it yourself, I'm outta here." March into the den with a drink, put your feet up and turn on a movie. Direct all questions about when dinner will be served to grandma. You win either way.

 

 

:smilielol5:

 

I will try to remember that when my mil comes to "help" us pack.