ondreeuh Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 My dd has been public schooled until this year (well, we homeschooled math last year). She needed a teacher to fill out an evaluation so she approached the social studies teacher she had last year. When she told him she was homeschooling he was incredulous and made no effort to hide the fact that he thought homeschooling was a joke. He asked her questions like, "So you're basically teaching yourself from books?" as if she was just given a boring textbook and expected to learn on her own without support. She told him that she was using actual curriculum and learning a LOT and he seemed surprised. So now dd is motivated to present him with information about "modern day" homeschooling and show him that it's nothing like he's imaging. My first instinct was to call the school counselor (who is a supporter of HSing) and alert him that this teacher was being disrespectful to dd. I don't see the point in defending my decision and don't think it's appropriate that my daughter was grilled. My daughter, however, has more grace and wants to help this teacher understand so that he can be more supportive of other homeschoolers. She's going to have fun with this, I think ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melmichigan Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 (edited) My daughter, however, has more grace and wants to help this teacher understand so that he can be more supportive of other homeschoolers. She's going to have fun with this, I think ;) Good for her! It should be interesting. I'd love to hear how she goes about it. My DD9's canned answer when asked why she is homeschooled is "they wouldn't let me take Chemistry", as she rolls her eyes. :) Edited October 26, 2009 by melmichigan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnandtinagilbert Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Why not both? Have her do her thing, then follow up with a phone call. This teacher will likely not change his mind, most don't (sorry, don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, I just don't want dd to be too disappointed) and it is grossly inappropriate to run ones mouth off to a small child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 I would call. The same way I would not allow another adult to belittle dh or myself to my children, I would not allow them to belittle our choices. It was disrespectful. Also, as a pp mentioned, that's a lot for a kid to have on their shoulders. It would be great, assuming the teacher has nothing to prove. However, should they (as an adult with a college education) wish to make her feel inadequate, they could. I would not trust this guy to play nice, he's already proven he can't. What kind of person makes fun of a child's education to that child? I don't care if the kid's going to cheerios pre-k for high school, you don't redicule a child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Could it be that there was no real hostility in the teacher's questions? Maybe he was just a guy sounding off a little bit, but without real malice. If you think about the way a grouchy uncle might behave, maybe that's what she saw, and she didn't take it personally. I certainly wouldn't call the school office. I'd let her deal with the situation. She obviously will want to ask a different teacher for a recommendation, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 As someone who has been doing this a long time.........I believe that many ps teachers have that POV and in many cases it is justified. There are a lot of people that "dabble" in homeschooling. They try it for a while, do a little of this and little of that, but none of it is taken very seriously. The kids that are most likely to end up back in ps from homeschooling are the ones where the parents aren't able to make homeschooling a success or find out that it is too much work for them to stick with it. My neice is a 4th grade teacher and has seen it happen several times. So..........while the teacher is wrong about certain sectors of homeschooling, his opinion was probably formed by the homeschoolers he has come in contact with. Not to mention, the whole "independent learner" mantra is fed by a large majority of homeschoolers. I think your dd is noble for wanting to defend homeschooling, but she does need to be aware of the fact that there are homeschoolers out there who are completely representative of the opinion he has. So, if she does want to present him with information, she will need to acknowledge that there are no "standard" homeschoolers. Homeschooling is completely lacking in any form of unity in content, approach, standards. That is something extremely difficult for ps teachers to wrap their heads around b/c it is contrary to everything they represent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 Could it be that there was no real hostility in the teacher's questions? Maybe he was just a guy sounding off a little bit, but without real malice. If you think about the way a grouchy uncle might behave, maybe that's what she saw, and she didn't take it personally. Yes, that is accurate. He's a strict teacher who holds kids to very high standards and the "grouchy uncle" persona is probably not far off. Dd wasn't offended, more surprised and she tried to set him straight in the bit of time she had, but thinks he would be open to learning more. She's not an argumentative child but enjoys a good discussion. As someone who has been doing this a long time.........I believe that many ps teachers have that POV and in many cases it is justified. There are a lot of people that "dabble" in homeschooling. They try it for a while, do a little of this and little of that, but none of it is taken very seriously. The kids that are most likely to end up back in ps from homeschooling are the ones where the parents aren't able to make homeschooling a success or find out that it is too much work for them to stick with it. My neice is a 4th grade teacher and has seen it happen several times. So..........while the teacher is wrong about certain sectors of homeschooling, his opinion was probably formed by the homeschoolers he has come in contact with. Not to mention, the whole "independent learner" mantra is fed by a large majority of homeschoolers. I think your dd is noble for wanting to defend homeschooling, but she does need to be aware of the fact that there are homeschoolers out there who are completely representative of the opinion he has. So, if she does want to present him with information, she will need to acknowledge that there are no "standard" homeschoolers. Homeschooling is completely lacking in any form of unity in content, approach, standards. That is something extremely difficult for ps teachers to wrap their heads around b/c it is contrary to everything they represent. You just reminded me that my dd's friend (who was with her during this conversation) said that this teacher had previously said something about "homeschoolers" and how he's seen kids leave PS to try homeschooling, and come back after a year without keeping up. My dd wisely said (to me) that of course they were probably learning *other* things. Now, he is a social studies teacher, and the year before last my dd's assignment in S.S. involved locating the U.S.S.R. on a map :glare: so I don't think their standards are hard to beat. I have no doubt she will learn more about US history this year than her peers will (and likely every other subject as well). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyAberlin Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 My mom started homeschooling me in 3rd. I think my 2nd grade ps teacher was concerned, but didn't say anything. She would write me letters during 3rd grade to see how I was doing and I would write back. My last letter to her was telling her all about everything I was learning. I never heard back from her. I think she decided that I was doing okay. I really liked that teacher. She took me to a theme park the summer after 2nd grade. I would love to contact her again and just update her on how I'm doing. She didn't have any kids of her own. I think she would probably like that. I would be concerned about that teacher making your daughter feel bad, but then again, if she is used to him being cranky then maybe it would be that big of deal. She could do a slide presentation of all the cool stuff you do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 That's a great idea! She would love to make a video - I'll suggest that to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Also let your daughter know that public school teachers are sometimes, quite rightly, on the defensive against anything that will affect their job status. Homeschoolers pulling their kids, and thus the tax money that goes to the district with their kids, is a concern for teachers' unions/school districts/etc. (Same with private schools, charters, etc.) So he may have seen some homeschoolers who truly fit the negative stereotype, or he may have heard anecdotes & diatribes from the union rep, or whatever... it may be very hard to convince him the opinion he has formed in general is wrong. Even research studies showing the success of homeschooling over public schools probably won't convince him, if he has a vested interest in keeping the opinion he has formed. But, she may well succeed in showing him that she specifically doesn't fall into the "joke" category. Either way, it should be an interesting project for her! I would cautiously encourage her and also consider calling the counselor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caribbean Queen Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I wouldn't call the school. It gives his frowns/tone of voice/whatever more importance than what it deserves. School teachers are human and don't support everything. As long as he doesn't harrass her or say anything really crass, I'd just let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alegnab Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Your daughter had a very mature response. :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyDay Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 It has been my experience that very few public school teachers have anything good to say about homeschooling. These folks have studied for at least 4 years and done student teaching assignments to get where they are. Some states require a BS or BA in the area of interest, then another year to obtain a post-baccalaureate initial teacher licensure program. THat is a lot of dedicated training. They cannot seem to understand how someone not trained can "do their job". I'm sure we have all heard that excuse from other parents for not homeschooling "I'm just not qualified!". (My good friend, with 2 Ph.Ds told me this and I about fell over). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 You know, I'm often surprised at how she reacts to things. I was very, very sensitive as a child and she just has a thick skin. If a teacher had said that to me, I probably would have cried.:tongue_smilie: Even now, I take it a little personally, like he thinks I'm not serious about this or smart enough to challenge my daughter. He's never met me so I'm just going to let it go. :chillpill: I think dd's interest in proving him wrong has waned. She picked up her evaluation (and he did write a decent one) and they didn't discuss homeschooling. I'm a *little* tempted to email her teacher and say something sweet about how I had the impression he wasn't familiar with all of the opportunities for homeschooling families, and I would love to answer any questions he has. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntPol Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I would just let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhM Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 He asked her questions like, "So you're basically teaching yourself from books?" as if she was just given a boring textbook and expected to learn on her own without support. So what's wrong with "basically teaching yourself from books?" There's a lot to be said for the skill of learning "on your own without support", too. I bet the great minds here could come up with all kinds of great snarky comments (and kudos to your dd for not doing that!) But right off the bat I'm thinking - wasn't that basically how Abraham Lincoln and Thomas Jefferson learned? Huh - too bad those guys didn't have a teacher like him to give them a real education! And wouldn't some teachers rejoice over a student who could "teach herself from books" rather than need the material spoon fed to them?! Then class time could be discussion and investigation instead of trying to shovel in the basics to pass "the test"! Comments like this from teachers smack of insecurity. They seem to be saying, "What good am I if you are able to teach yourself?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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