Sigh. Someone has to ask. S/O on shaving question...

[Tutor]

High school locker room after gym class. My reaction was, "Huh." Then I moved on with my life. I have never really worried about it or done anything about it. I will mention it to my daughters as an option later but leave the final decision up to them - same as shaving legs and armpits.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

I don't think it is acceptable that a healthy adult female body is considered disgusting unless it is altered - at considerable time and expense - to conform to the dictates of the 'beauty' industry.

 

I don't have a problem with you shaving, or wearing makeup, or having plastic surgery if that is your choice. My issue is with women who don't want to do those things coming under pressure to do so.

 

:iagree:

[Tangerine]

If you read Rose's whole post, you will see that this is a hot button topic for her, and that she herself has a painful past that led her to this assessment. To call it ridiculous is rude and unkind. Of course you can disagree, but wow. Low blow.

 

You can't really expect people to know the pasts of other posters, and mollycoddle them because of it. They can only respond to the post they see. It is ludicrous to assert that because a counter culture movement adopted a certain style of grooming, preferring that grooming style is akin to preferring the lifestyle. It just isn't true.

[Nicole M]

You can't really expect people to know the pasts of other posters, and mollycoddle them because of it. They can only respond to the post they see. It is ludicrous to assert that because a counter culture movement adopted a certain style of grooming, preferring that grooming style is akin to preferring the lifestyle. It just isn't true.

 

Gosh, I did not read her post that way at all. I read her saying that the style of grooming began, historically, as a symbol of subversion, and then was adopted by a counter-cultural movement and then hit the mainstream. History is important. To say that for some this choice is entirely disconnected from this history is absolutely true. If you want to be shorn, go to.

 

But if, as was prefectly clear from Rose's post, your past experiences connect a grooming practice to a very sick part of our cultural history, then you have every right to disdain that practice. To call her assertions ridiculous is to willfully misunderstand what was clear in her post and very rude.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

I am still scarred from my mother walking around upstairs with Nair on her bikini zone.

 

 

:blink::scared::svengo:

[OnTheBrink]

Wait, just because a woman shaves it all, and her husband likes it, makes her look 'prepubescent'? I mean, I didn't think prebuescent girls had bre@sts or hips, right?

 

I guess I honestly don't understand how a husband having a preference about what body parts his wife shaves or doesn't shave makes him creepy.

 

I suppose if the REASON a husband wants his wife to look a certain way is so that he can pretend she's prepubescent, well, yeah, that's creepy. But just because he likes his wife to LOOK a certain way? I don't think so.

 

My dh likes me to wear jeans. So I do. How is that creepy? I think he likes it because it makes me look young, in a way. I always wore jeans back before kids. For a while, a few years ago, I wore a dress everyday. Dh finally told me he thinks I look better in jeans. So what's the big deal? How is that different than if a husband has a preference on what his wife shaves?

 

I'm genuinely curious.

 

Prepubescent, by definition, indicates a body that has not gone through puberty. So, if a woman shaves it all off down there, yeah, she looks prepubescent down there. Whether her dh likes it or not has nothing to do with how it looks.

 

My mother shaved it all. I discovered this once when she was in the bathroom and I needed something and she told me to just come in and get it. Frankly, it looked disturbing to me, and yeah, she looked like a little girl. Completely grossed me out. I will NEVER do it. I don't care what any future husband likes, there are some lines I will not cross.

 

And, I couldn't care less what other women do. I don't want to know what your (general) crotch looks like, so shave, don't shave, I don't care. LOL

[OnTheBrink]

Gosh, I did not read her post that way at all. I read her saying that the style of grooming began, historically, as a symbol of subversion, and then was adopted by a counter-cultural movement and then hit the mainstream. History is important. To say that for some this choice is entirely disconnected from this history is absolutely true. If you want to be shorn, go to.

 

But if, as was prefectly clear from Rose's post, your past experiences connect a grooming practice to a very sick part of our cultural history, then you have every right to disdain that practice. To call her assertions ridiculous is to willfully misunderstand what was clear in her post and very rude.

 

:iagree:

[LauraGB]

I think, in reference to Jennifer's original post, it is important to discuss grooming with our girls. Personal hygiene, or lack there of, can cause a whole hoard of bacterial and yeast issues. Whether someone prefers to go all or nothing is really personal preference (not necessarily something I, as a mother, care to share with my dd in her youth), but keeping things, um, addressed, it also important. Just as important as washing your face or cleaning between your toes, etc.

[Tangerine]

Gosh, I did not read her post that way at all. I read her saying that the style of grooming began, historically, as a symbol of subversion, and then was adopted by a counter-cultural movement and then hit the mainstream. History is important. To say that for some this choice is entirely disconnected from this history is absolutely true. If you want to be shorn, go to.

 

But if, as was prefectly clear from Rose's post, your past experiences connect a grooming practice to a very sick part of our cultural history, then you have every right to disdain that practice. To call her assertions ridiculous is to willfully misunderstand what was clear in her post and very rude.

 

I don't know about willfully misunderstanding. She pretty much said that when you groom that way, you look like a slave, a hooker, or a kid, and that if your DH prefers it there should be alarm bells going off in your head. While the practice may have been adopted by those groups, I think assigning that sort of modern-day association with trimming up the pubic hair is way off.

[Tree House Academy]

I shaved pretty early on (age 10 or so) and no one taught me how. It was pretty instinctive for me.

[asta]

So, I've been reading this book:

 

Rats, Lice and History

 

and I've got to tell you guys, I'm ready to laser my entire body.

 

Ewwwwwww

 

 

a

[Nicole M]

I don't know about willfully misunderstanding. She pretty much said that when you groom that way, you look like a slave, a hooker, or a kid, and that if your DH prefers it there should be alarm bells going off in your head. While the practice may have been adopted by those groups, I think assigning that sort of modern-day association with trimming up the pubic hair is way off.

 

We will have to disagree, then. Trimming, in my book, is very different from completely eliminating.

 

As for what we would teach our daughters, if I did have a daughter, I would not want her to go through what I did. I didn't even know that trimming was "allowed" until I read an article in a woman's magazine while waiting for a haircut (heh!). That article was confusing to me, because it was packaged as "what to do for your man" instead of about personal hygiene. I was in my early 20s, already married, and pretty shocked. I wish I'd had more practical information, earlier.

[Ferdie]

So my mom did not discuss this with me, either. I swim, and finally opted for a suit with a little skirt, so I didn't have to be quite so careful. But my problem is the red bumps and rash I get between my upper thighs. How do you deal with that?

 

Back to bikini lines...I hate those red bumps - so painful. I shave my bikini lines with the sideburn feature of an electric shaver. It leaves the hair long enough that you don't get red bumps when it grows back. You can follow up with Nair bleach if needed.

Edited October 22, 2009 by Ferdie

[Desert Rat]

I'm so glad I have boys...

 

Thinking the very same thing. :lol: I learned from Cosmo. My mom never mentioned a dang thing about shaving nether regions. FWIW, I don't very often.

[*********]

Prepubescent, by definition, indicates a body that has not gone through puberty. So, if a woman shaves it all off down there, yeah, she looks prepubescent down there. Whether her dh likes it or not has nothing to do with how it looks.

<snip>

And, I couldn't care less what other women do. I don't want to know what your (general) crotch looks like, so shave, don't shave, I don't care. LOL

 

Michelle, this is what I took issue with:

 

But I agree that any man who wants a prepubescent looking woman-girl is just creepy.

 

Not what it *looks like, but that it was assumed that if a man prefers that look, he is creepy. However, Asta clarified her statement in a later post. She meant that it's creepy if a man prefers that look so he can pretend his wife is prepubescent.

 

And I agree; I don't care what other women look like. It's a personal choice, and I don't care to know, LOL.

[*********]

No one told me, but Mom was really good about making me feel uptight and hateful about all the other parts of my body that were not flawless, so it occurred to me that this would be an extension of that. She also brought me in for exams every six months without fail from the time I was eleven. I will never forget my GYN's flabbergasted horror. He stuttered. "You're twelve! You could cut yourself! Do you have any idea how damaging this is to your skin?"

 

And he was right. This is something that historically has been done in underground BDSM scenes to indicate ownership. It became popular amongst American women after it moved from there to p*rn. Before that (in the classical era) was used to indicate that someone was a professional prostitute. Alarms should be going off if one's head when they see this. It should creep our husbands out if we look prepubescent, shouldn't it?

 

I vote you don't tell your daughters about this at all. I'll do my part by raising sons that don't want their partners to look like slaves, professionals, or children.

 

The bolded parts I disagree with. Why is it creepy if a husband has a preference about his wife's grooming?

 

And, um, as for the second bolded part, you are basically implying that any woman who shaves it all off looks like either a slave, a hooker, or a child.

 

Why can't it be ok for a man to prefer a specific style of grooming instead of another? What if I said that any man who doesn't want his wife to shave *anything prefers her to look unkempt. Wouldn't that be offensive to those men and women who prefer that look?

 

Why do YOU (a general YOU) get to have an opinion about how others groom their private areas? Would you (specific you) look down on a future daughter-in-law (or a daughter, if you have one) if that look is what she chose? You post sounds like you would, so I'm curious.

 

I read her saying that the style of grooming began, historically, as a symbol of subversion, and then was adopted by a counter-cultural movement and then hit the mainstream. History is important. To say that for some this choice is entirely disconnected from this history is absolutely true. If you want to be shorn, go to.

I agree.

But if, as was prefectly clear from Rose's post, your past experiences connect a grooming practice to a very sick part of our cultural history, then you have every right to disdain that practice. To call her assertions ridiculous is to willfully misunderstand what was clear in her post and very rude.

 

That was not 'perfectly clear from Rose's post' to me. Perhaps it's possible that different people interpreted her post differently? In fact, I didn't even know her name was Rose. :)

 

I guess what I'm really taking issue with here is that ANYONE feels it's their business how a husband and wife decide the wife will groom herself. Why would anyone outside that relationship care, or even think they get a say?

I wear a headcovering. I wear it because the Lord wants me to, my dh wants me to, and because I want to. I wouldn't let anyone else influence that decision; how much more for how I decide to groom an area of my body that NO ONE but me and my dh see?!

Edited October 22, 2009 by bethanyniez

[AuntieM]

As for the red bumps, shave in the evening, pat skin dry, apply generous coat of Desitin. Try to sleep in loose clothing (ie, nothing with an elastic, chafing band across the bikini area). This has always worked for me, I used to really have trouble with razor irritation.

 

I really prefer waxing, and will offer this as an option for my daughter (as an alternative to shaving) when she is brave enough to give it a try. I wish my mom had offered me such an option. I lost a lot of fun summer days at the pool with friends because I felt paralyzed by that socially unacceptable hair. I don't want my daughter to have to worry about that.

[st_claire]

I don't know about willfully misunderstanding. She pretty much said that when you groom that way, you look like a slave, a hooker, or a kid, and that if your DH prefers it there should be alarm bells going off in your head. While the practice may have been adopted by those groups, I think assigning that sort of modern-day association with trimming up the pubic hair is way off.

 

 

:iagree:

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I'm so glad I have boys...

 

 

:iagree:

[PinkInTheBlue]

My mom introduced an electric razor to me and later some brief explanations on being careful with and directions for the manual kind. However, all that was for legs and underarms really. I guess I just figured out the bikini thing. :)

[Greta]

Laura, thanks for this feedback on the laser option. I've been considering it because I have very very fair (and delicate) skin, and very very dark hair. So I've heard that makes me a good candidate. I just didn't think I could afford it. But maybe I can!

 

Also, Nicole, until you get the laser treatments, I wanted to tell you about this wonderful product that (for me) makes shaving there possible. Without it, the red bumps and irritation is so bad that I simply don't shave. But this stuff is miraculous. It's Paula's Choice "Skin Relief Treatment". I put it on as soon as I get out of the bath/shower and no bumps, no irritation. Here's a link: http://www.paulaschoice.com/product/skin-relief-treatment/skin-care-treatments