Miss Peregrine Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 My neighbor's 17 yo DS was caught breakingin/stealing liquor from neighbor's homes a few months ago. He is on probation. My beloved homemade vanilla extract is gone. :glare: It was almost a full bottle of vodka made into extract. It was in the cabinet above our fridge. Now, I know that is a big leap BUT the key to our house was hanging in their house for a week about a month ago as they watched our dog while we were away. Would you say anything to the parents? They are good friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catalinakel Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 yep. I'd want to know of a concern if it was my child. I'd do it lightly, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 (edited) Would it have been clear to the teen that it was alcohol-based? Any alternate possibilities to explain the disappearance? This is a tough situation. Are your kids old enough to put up their radar and get intel from the kid network on your street? It would be good to have all the info you could get before taking any action. ETA: I would, in love, let the parents know if you come to a pretty sure conclusion that their child did it. Breaking and entering to obtain alcohol in the past, stealing from adults.... sounds like more than an adolescent stunt, perhaps an addiction problem. Edited October 5, 2009 by AuntieM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Oh, it would kill me for homemade vanilla to go missing. I'm so sorry! Nope. I wouldn't say anything. Even if the neighbor's son admits it, you can't get it back, and you can't be compensated for the time it took to make the extract. But I probably wouldn't leave keys with them anymore, unless the parents are willing to put them on their own key rings and not allow anyone else to use them for any reason. If your concern isn't about the possible theft, but rather about whether his parents know he might still be drinking...then I might act differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catalinakel Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 plus, if a kid is stealing hard liquor, he is probably an alcoholic...and needs help, not jail. maybe bring it up with a referral to a program that helps kids who are alcoholics? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 Would it have been clear to the teen that it was alcohol-based? Any alternate possibilities to explain the disappearance? This is a tough situation. Are your kids old enough to put up their radar and get intel from the kid network on your street? It would be good to have all the info you could get before taking any action. It was in a Smirnoff vodka bottle(large). It was brown but, smelled like vanilla vodka. Not sure if that would turn someone off. Aren't there flavored vodkas? I can't think of any other possibilities to explain where it would be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Is that the only 'alcohol' in your house? Were there other bottles next to the 'vodka'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 Oh, it would kill me for homemade vanilla to go missing. I'm so sorry! Nope. I wouldn't say anything. Even if the neighbor's son admits it, you can't get it back, and you can't be compensated for the time it took to make the extract. But I probably wouldn't leave keys with them anymore, unless the parents are willing to put them on their own key rings and not allow anyone else to use them for any reason. If your concern isn't about the possible theft, but rather about whether his parents know he might still be drinking...then I might act differently. Yeah, although I am sad to see my vanilla gone(I've had it for 4+ years *sniff*) I am actually concerned about the entering houses/stealing. And he has admitted to a drinking problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 There are two kinds of "good friends" - are they the type who recognize why their son might be a suspect, even with the leaps of assumption, and wouldn't feel you were being overly suspicious? Or are they the type who would forever feel affected by your leap of assumption, even if they remained friendly? Either way, I probably wouldn't mention it to them other than in passing ("I'm upset my homemade vanilla went missing" versus "I hate to even suggest it, but I wonder if Son didn't help himself to my homemade vanilla.") However if they made that leap in assumption, I'd admit to them that the thought had indeed crossed my mind. I'd probably just change my locks. If it were him (and he were intuitive) he'd recognize that as his one warning. Then again, I guess I should ask - will they be watching your pets (read: have access to your keys) again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 You mentioned that he is on probation, but was he ever in treatment? He may benefit from treatment, ideally in a residential program so that he won't have access to any alcohol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 It was in a Smirnoff vodka bottle(large). It was brown but, smelled like vanilla vodka. Not sure if that would turn someone off. Aren't there flavored vodkas? I can't think of any other possibilities to explain where it would be. If these were my good friends, I would (without question) inform them in a non-accusatory tone of the disappearance of the Smirnoff bottle filled with vanilla extract. If I were a parent with a child in trouble, I would expect my friends not to shield me from truths I really need to know. Not even a close call. I'd just try to be as compassionate as possible in the telling, as this must be a very difficult situation for these parents. But they need to know about the strong possibility their boy took alcohol from your home. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 My neighbor's 17 yo DS was caught breakingin/stealing liquor from neighbor's homes a few months ago. He is on probation. My beloved homemade vanilla extract is gone. :glare: It was almost a full bottle of vodka made into extract. It was in the cabinet above our fridge. Now, I know that is a big leap BUT the key to our house was hanging in their house for a week about a month ago as they watched our dog while we were away. Would you say anything to the parents? They are good friends. I would absolutely say something to the parents. AFTER I exhausted all other possible reasons for the disappearance of the vanilla. I'd be interrogating everyone else that I knew who had access to it before I took it to the kid's parents. I mean, just imagine, how horrible would it be if you told his parents, he got in heaps of trouble, then next week you find out your dh moved the bottle somewhere else while looking for something in that cupboard or something? But on the other hand, if you do your investigating and there's no explanation for it having gone missing, I'd talk to the parents, and make sure they know that you did all the checking before you came to them. Make sure they know everyone in your house has no idea what happened to it, that you've searched every nook and cranny of your kitchen twice, ect. Make sure that they know you're not coming to them 'lightly'. That way, there's less possible hurt feelings or misunderstandings. That's a tough situation. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 Is that the only 'alcohol' in your house? Were there other bottles next to the 'vodka'? Yes, there were two bottle of wine. Maybe he only took one to not arouse suspicion? I don't know. All the liquor he stole was the hard stuff, so... I know it is still a leap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 If these were my good friends, I would (without question) inform them in a non-accusatory tone of the disappearance of the Smirnoff bottle filled with vanilla extract. If I were a parent with a child in trouble, I would expect my friends not to shield me from truths I really need to know. Not even a close call. I'd just try to be as compassionate as possible in the telling, as this must be a very difficult situation for these parents. But they need to know about the strong possibility their boy took alcohol from your home. Bill You're absolutely right, Bill. I just got off the phone with DH and he had already called the other DH and said he wasn't accusing but just wanted to let him know that alcohol was missing from our home. I just think, he knows DH is a cop. Would he really enter our home and steal? But then again, I know the nature of addiction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 You're absolutely right, Bill. I just got off the phone with DH and he had already called the other DH and said he wasn't accusing but just wanted to let him know that alcohol was missing from our home. I just think, he knows DH is a cop. Would he really enter our home and steal? But then again, I know the nature of addiction. Let's just hope they find a way to help this boy. What a horrible situation. You and your husband did the right thing. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 If these were my good friends, I would (without question) inform them in a non-accusatory tone of the disappearance of the Smirnoff bottle filled with vanilla extract. If I were a parent with a child in trouble, I would expect my friends not to shield me from truths I really need to know. Not even a close call. I'd just try to be as compassionate as possible in the telling, as this must be a very difficult situation for these parents. But they need to know about the strong possibility their boy took alcohol from your home. Bill I totally agree. The best things that could arise from you saying something are so much more important than the worst. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 You're absolutely right, Bill. I just got off the phone with DH and he had already called the other DH and said he wasn't accusing but just wanted to let him know that alcohol was missing from our home. I just think, he knows DH is a cop. Would he really enter our home and steal? But then again, I know the nature of addiction. Oh, I should have kept reading... I think you two did the right thing. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 (edited) I don't know why people would be worried about telling the parents. Are you for certain he took it? No. Do you need to be? No. If a kid breaks into houses and steals, part of the consequence to that is that people will suspect him if something from their house goes missing ... especially if the kid had access to the house. I always tell my friends that if my kids are doing something they shouldn't be doing, I want to know about it. Tara Edited October 5, 2009 by TaraTheLiberator add a missing word Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smrtmama Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 If these were my good friends, I would (without question) inform them in a non-accusatory tone of the disappearance of the Smirnoff bottle filled with vanilla extract. If I were a parent with a child in trouble, I would expect my friends not to shield me from truths I really need to know. Not even a close call. I'd just try to be as compassionate as possible in the telling, as this must be a very difficult situation for these parents. But they need to know about the strong possibility their boy took alcohol from your home. Bill I agree. If my child had substance abuse issues, I would absolutely want to know if you suspected he was stealing from you in order to continue using -- whether it's alcohol, prescription meds, or items that could be sold/pawned for money to use. Please treat the parents gently, because this both painful and embarrassing, but do let them know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Could you maybe call them asking for help in locating it without directly accusing their son? I am thinking if they were house sitting last month could you not just call up, and say something like "I can't seem to find my homemade vanilla extract in it's usual cupboard. WHen you were housesitting did you happen to notice it in another location? Then go on to describe the bottle(being a vodka bottle etc)" They may reach the assumption their son has something to do with it, or perhaps she borrowed it to bake and totally forgot to return it with all the stress going on with her son? Or maybe it is in a different cupboard all together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 He did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 He did it. First of all, He admitted this? Wow... And second of all, I wanna make some. Can you tell us how?? Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 Yep, he admitted it. To make the extract: One bottle of vodka. Get several vanilla beans (I used 7) and slice them lengthwise just to open them up a little. Drop them into the bottle and let sit for several months. Shale the bottle every couple of weeks. The flavor gets better with time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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