Teaching in a co-op with a special needs child

[Tidbits of Learning]

I do not have a special needs child, but I thought this would be the best place to post. We joined a co-op this year and all the moms have to teach a class. I chose preschool b/c my son is the youngest in the class. The first day we had a little boy that melted down badly and we have to cross a city street to get from the gym (opening prayer and pledge of allegiance for all grades) to the preschool class. This was not typical my Mommy is gone meltdown.

Another Mom came and got him and then rejoined our group with the little boy in her lap at a preschool size table. All the while he screamed at the top of his lungs. Finally, the other Mom says he is autistic. Not one Mom teaching or helping or even the preschool director had been informed of this, but the people who run the co-op knew of his special needs. Another Mom took up a lot of one on one time with him and he seemed to take to her.

He calmed down and you would never have known he was screaming and incoherent for the first half hour until it was time for the other kids to leave. His mom was there by then and he melted down as each child left with their parent. I'm scared he will hurt himself. He flings himself physically to the ground and screams and cries and he is hard to comfort.

We are implementing some changes such as his parents will take him to the preschool room instead of opening in the gym and he will be the first child to leave. I think they said he has just started evaluations and he may have sensory perception disorder. I have went on boardmaker to make him a visual timetable for our co-op preschool time. I am going to buy a lapdesk so that his adult helper can take him to a quiet corner if he melts down during class time and a beanbag as well.

They really want to make this work b/c they tried 2 years ago when he was 1 and really was just in nursery while their other children went to co-op and they couldn't do it b/c he couldn't handle it. Everyone is a little upset that no one was made aware of this before hand and we couldn't prepare and make the adjustment easier for him and his family. The co-op was not large last year and almost everyone is new this year and the preschool teachers were totally in the dark about this.

I am a little concerned with the decree that we need to make this work for this family. I am not sure it is in this little boys best interest to keep him in a classroom upset. Not once did they take him from the room and the stressful situation or get his Mom and we have been given no guidelines on when to get his parent since she is teaching a class at the same time.

I feel for them and am willing to do whatever I can to help him adjust. I am just not sure that trying to force it to work no matter what is the best idea. He tried to run off from the room twice and we are getting a gate, but I am a little nervous given that none of us have any training or real knowledge of how to work with him. We are all just Moms that volunteer to give our kids some enrichment and classes they normally wouldn't get at home.

And of course, since it was so hush-hush and he melted down in the gym everyone saw it and now all everyone has heard is he is autistic. A baby was crying in the nursery and a parent was asking is that the autistic child. One of the preschool parents has already suggested that he be removed from the class. I know I will have parents asking me about the situation and the coordinator gave me some insight on what to say.

But I'll be honest. I am nervous about it and what if he does get so upset no one can calm him. What if he just isn't ready?

Thanks for any advise and any suggestions. I really want to help the family in any way that I can, but I am just not sure that insisting that it work is the answer.

Edited September 17, 2009 by OpenMinded

[EKS]

The mother needs to be there until he is able to participate without melting down, and even then she might need to be there. The parent-teachers in the co-op should not be responsible for a child with special needs of this magnitude. It is not fair to ask the parent-teachers to take on the extra responsibility this entails; it is hard enough teaching a co-op class without that.

 

I'm not saying that the child should not participate, just that his mother needs to be responsible for him during the time he is there.

[Tidbits of Learning]

The mother needs to be there until he is able to participate without melting down, and even then she might need to be there. The parent-teachers in the co-op should not be responsible for a child with special needs of this magnitude. It is not fair to ask the parent-teachers to take on the extra responsibility this entails; it is hard enough teaching a co-op class without that.

 

I'm not saying that the child should not participate, just that his mother needs to be responsible for him during the time he is there.

 

I agree. She is in the preschool class the last hour. I don't understand why they didn't just have her mandatory 2 hours volunteering to teach with the co-op in the preschool class.

I am honestly going to do my best to help them. My son used to have meltdowns and I have been the Mom who was told by a preschool that my son just wasn't ready and it was too much stress for him.

So I have true sympathy for their situation. However, it was the best thing I ever did to take my son out and wait until he was ready.

Does the visual timetable and quiet corner sound like a good plan? I don't think that they will change the set up now with the teaching assignments. I want to do all that I can for this family, but I also want to do all that I can for the other children in the class.

[Dobela]

It can work, but it wil take lots of effort and lots of communication. It won't necessarily be easy though. Some of my suggests are for more ideal situations so you may have to adapt or change them as you need to. I just don't know how it is all set up for you.

 

First, you should never be alone with this child and an entire class. He needs another adult assigned to him alone full time. For everyone's safety. You can't go chasing him and you can't leave the other kids alone. If he slipped out he could be killed crossing that highway. I don't know how many kids you have but I would personally ask for 3 adults minimal the entire time. You, an assistant for you, and a person assigned to the child. The person assigned to the child needs to rotate some. One, it is a demanding job for that adult. Two, it makes the child accustomed to some change in case that adult is not in class. In our state we always followed the day care guidelines and then divided it in half to make certain we had a good ratio of adults to children as well. If days cares said 1 adult for 15 kids, then we had 2 adults for 15 kids if there were special needs. Then on top of that anyone with severe needs was assigned their very own assistant.

 

The mom may be needing a break. She may be needing to know that he doesn't just do this behavior with her. She may not realize it is this bad - maybe she has never left him in a strange place before or with people who don't know him and so she didn't think he would have had the problems he had. Who knows. If several people knew in advance, it is possible she assumed that everyone knew or would pass on the information to those in charge or responsible for him. Sadly, that didn't happen.

 

I have a MEd in early childhood special ed and worked in developmental centers. Many of our students had autism. With known sensory problems it was always a trial at first. Always. New sounds, new textures, new smells, new people... I could go on and on. However, with only a couple of exceptions over the several years I did this, every child we had always settled down and did ok with assistance. Once the place became familiar, it helped. A regular routine was important. A visual timetable can work, once he understands what it means. You may want to use it with the entire group of kids and teach it to them (in case you have others who like knowing what to expect). A quiet area can work as well. Bean bags are a great idea as are a small heavy blanket or vest. If the lights are harsh, maybe you can use fewer lights or turn them off some during the class time. I would be careful about removing him every time he screams though. He may be using it as a way out and honestly, the mom needs him to learn to stay in a place with out her and eventually learn to ask to leave.

 

Another idea along the lines of the visual time table is to make a book for him to read at home with his mother with pictures of kids, staff, and rooms that he will be around. It is like a social stories book where he can learn those important aspects and they might not feel as strange to him when he returns.

 

While it is great that his mom is coming first to pick him up, I also think that at some point you will need to have her come later or randomly. If you don't, everytime she runs late unexpectedly he will melt down.

 

Involve her more. Ask her what she does, what works to calm him, what works to motivate him (rewards, etc). Ask her what she needs and what she expects to happen.

 

I hope this helps. I apologize for the randomness of the post though. I was mostly typing as I was thinking out loud.

[Tidbits of Learning]

This helps so much. We do have 2 teachers at all times. One to teach and one to help. Sadly, he doesn't just have to get used to me. He will be getting used to his 2nd period teacher and helper, and 3rd period teacher and helper, and 4th period teacher(his mom) and helper. Every hour their will be 2 different adults switching out. So it is a lot at one time. I believe he will have an adult buddy. As of right now, it is just to be one Mom that he took to the other day who was filling in for my usual helper. I like the idea of rotating adult buddies.

I am planning to make a big visual timetable for the class and a smaller one with the velcro pull off items to put in the envelope as we finish them for him directly. I used the small type one with my own son when he was 4 and first went to preschool. Actually we used them at home as well. I know it comforted him to physically see what he was going to do and then to know when they were over and putting them in the envelope. I am hoping it will do the same for this little boy.

We are putting up a gate at the door so he can't physically leave. I offered to get the lapdesk and bean bag as well as the visual timetable. I love the idea of a social story book and it wouldn't be too hard to make on the computer.

Thanks for all the suggestions. I am definitely feeling a little better about it now.

[Ottakee]

I agree that you should have known about this ahead of time---it might have made things much easier on him, the teachers and the other kids.

 

If you can make this work, it would be great.

 

Just thinking from the mom's perspective---she likely really wants a break and a chance to do something "normal"---maybe even with one of her other kids.

 

While you guys were dealing with this for just a few hours, this mom deals with this 24/7 and likely rarely gets a break.

 

Hopefully she can give you some good ideas on how to make this work for her son.

[Tidbits of Learning]

I agree that you should have known about this ahead of time---it might have made things much easier on him, the teachers and the other kids.

 

If you can make this work, it would be great.

 

Just thinking from the mom's perspective---she likely really wants a break and a chance to do something "normal"---maybe even with one of her other kids.

 

While you guys were dealing with this for just a few hours, this mom deals with this 24/7 and likely rarely gets a break.

 

Hopefully she can give you some good ideas on how to make this work for her son.

I totally understand the Mom needing a break. I have been there, but at the height of my son's meltdowns I wouldn't have put him or me in this type of group setting. This is the first year that my almost 7 ds has gotten to play tee ball or join the cub scouts. He was asked to leave 3yr old kindergarten b/c of meltdowns, he would melt down in 4 yr old k but not as bad, he still had meltdowns and I had to come and pick him up from kindergarten a few times. He knew the academics but almost failed Kindergarten b/c of immaturity. We brought him home for 1st grade and he does better in small group settings now. This is the first year that I have gotten to enjoy my son not melting down and being able to self-calm in group settings. So as bad as this may sound...I wouldn't have chosen to teach this class if I would have known ahead of time that it would be stressful.

I am a worrier and overanalyze things. This is honestly stressing me. I am honestly worried that 6 teachers/adult helpers will be working and none of us have talked together and came up with a joint plan on how we will deal with any potential meltdowns. We haven't talked about the visual timetable or anything to help him cope. We could all deal with it differently come the next co-op day.

I do appreciate all the suggestions though and just hope that it will all go alright next co-op.

[EKS]

I understand the mom needing the break as well, but she can't expect teachers in a co-op to provide that break. If she is unwilling or unable to provide supervision for him at the co-op, then she should look for a developmental preschool for him. You are not obligated to provide this experience for her child.

[Tidbits of Learning]

I understand the mom needing the break as well, but she can't expect teachers in a co-op to provide that break. If she is unwilling or unable to provide supervision for him at the co-op, then she should look for a developmental preschool for him. You are not obligated to provide this experience for her child.

 

Our city has a very good program for special needs and early intervention. They will even come to your house for therapy. I know. I have used it with my own ds who needed speech and had some delays. In fact, this is what I pursued with ds when formal preschool did not work out due to meltdowns. I think this is more what they need to pursue.

I realize they want the other children in the family to be able to attend the co-op. This is difficult b/c we aren't allowed to just drop off the children and we are required to teach and help for up to 2 hours. I want to be supportive, but I also want a back-up plan.

The what-if this doesn't work out plan. For the moment, there is no point of no return in what we are expected to manage in this classroom concerning the situation. I am fortunate that he will have an adult helper during the time I am teaching and helping the class. The other 2 hours there will not be a specific helper for him. Maybe all will go well, but there will be times that he will need undivided attention and that will leave the class with only one adult to handle the other children. This concerns me b/c I have a child in the class as well. I am looking at this from the viewpoint of the "teacher" of one of the preschool classes and as a "parent" who has a child in there for the rest of the time.

None of this is being addressed. It is all coming at us from the standpoint that we need to help this family make this situation work. I am not against trying and doing the best that we can, but I do think there needs to be a discussion about how to deal with situations that are beyond our capabilites and situations that we shouldn't be expected to deal with in the first place.

I have tried to bring up the subject of what if the situation does not improve or if it worsens and I have been shut down on the topic. I really want to get a meeting together with all the preschool teachers to discuss the class, but I don't want to come across as being prejudiced or callous. I feel given the situation that all the teachers should meet and discuss how to deal with the situation and what we feel comfortable with and when we feel that we should be able to call the Mom for help. I am honestly going to give it a try, but I don't think it is fair or right to ask this of Mom volunteers.

[Ottakee]

It sounds like the local preschool program for special needs would be good for this little one. There are just many in the homeschool world that would really look down on the mom for using the PUBLIC schools for her child.

 

It also sounds like the co-op needs to work on this issue. If the leaders really want this to work out, they might have to get him a 1:1 aide for every hour or allow the mom to drop her kids off due to her special circumstances or something.

 

The mom should also help provide some information on how best to work with her son and calm him down. It is not fair to just drop him in a class with no warning and expect it to all work out.

[SkateLeft]

My son is a special needs 3yo who attends the local district special education preschool three mornings a week, and it's been a wonderful experience for him. It really sounds like this little guy would benefit from a program like ours! I agree that it might be worthwhile for the mom to pursue finding a special education placement for her son.

 

My son's special needs mean that my older kids can sometimes not participate in things. In the case of a co-op like yours, I just wouldn't have signed up. I know that my son needs an aide or dedicated special ed teacher, and it would be unfair for me to expect other moms to deal with his needs. It would also be unfair to my son to be placed in a situation where he was unhappy and incapable of functioning because his caretakers lacked the resources or education to help him. No matter how much of a break I need (and I just moved across country and know nobody here), I just wouldn't have considered it.

 

If I really felt that I HAD to have my son in a co-op situation like that and I couldn't be there the whole time, I'd probably hire someone to act as his aide during that time. Or I'd ask to be excused of my co-op responsibilities so I could be with him full-time in the preschool room.

 

I admire your willingness to work things out for this family, and I hope you find a solution that works for everyone!

[Tidbits of Learning]

It sounds like the local preschool program for special needs would be good for this little one. There are just many in the homeschool world that would really look down on the mom for using the PUBLIC schools for her child.

 

It also sounds like the co-op needs to work on this issue. If the leaders really want this to work out, they might have to get him a 1:1 aide for every hour or allow the mom to drop her kids off due to her special circumstances or something.

 

The mom should also help provide some information on how best to work with her son and calm him down. It is not fair to just drop him in a class with no warning and expect it to all work out.

The only advise I have been given is to hug him tightly and he will eventually calm down. This really makes me uncomfortable and well he physically recoiled from me when I tried and threw himself to the carpet-covered concrete floor and tried to run out the door. There will be a lot of children in the classroom and that would put one Mom holding him until he calms down.

The philosophy right now is that other mom's should come forward during their break time to volunteer to help or not complain about it. Basically, if you aren't willing to volunteer to help then shut up. It is just worded a little more politely than that.

It may turn out alright. I don't foresee any volunteers stepping up to the plate any time soon. I'll admit that it is going to take a little time to see how things are going to turn out. We only meet once a week. It could take a month before he will even know any of us. I just feel cornered and trapped to a certain extent. I really feel put on the spot. I could ask for a change of teaching assignment, but that leaves my son in the classroom and me in the dark on how it is really going in there.

It isn't like I have no idea how much stress these meltdowns can cause and I am not ignorant of the amount of time it takes to really see improvement with behavior management and social skills training. That is why I am trying to discuss the what-if scenarios. They are just in the process of evaluations and don't even have a diagnosis or any therapies in place. We are really flying blind with trying to help.

I would also like some advise on how to get the co-op to listen to valid concerns about this situation without thinking it is discrimination or prejudice or without being shut down before you can really voice concerns. I think everyone is hoping for best case scenarios and not even thinking about worst case scenarios.

[Lisa TX]

I am the director of a co-op and thought I'd share our plan for special needs children. (I haven't read all the replies so a similar response may have already been given.) We have the rule that all parents must be onsite all day serving in some capacity. Some teach one or more classes, some rock babies, some are the 2nd person in a room (or different rooms) all day. A mom with a special-needs child serves the group by shadowing her child --- in addition to the two adults already in each room. I copied this introduction to our behavior standards from our Policies and Procedure.

 

"The standard of behavior for the children will be exceptionally high. Please consider whether your child is prepared to participate in the classes in a way that he and those around him will benefit from his being there. Children with special needs are welcome. Their parents may contribute to the co-op by shadowing their special-needs child."

 

Later in the statement it says:

"Disruptive behavior will not be tolerated. If a child cannot behave properly at Co-op, the entire family will be asked to delay their involvement in Co-op for one full semester. After that time, the family may be reconsidered for Co-op participation."

 

Sometimes a child's special needs just don't work at Co-op. We've only had one child that was disruptive to the point that we were concerned. It was so long ago that I barely remember the details, but I think the family just began to leave him at home with the other parent. I don't think we even had to discuss it with them. They knew it wasn't working.

[Lisa TX]

One more thought after going back and reading more carefully. Some of you wisely pointed out that the mom may need the break. A schedule maker could easily let the mom serve else where and pick a different mom to be his shadow --- all day. The shadow would probably have to be a volunteer and maybe the mom would participate in selecting the person.

 

Our co-op only has around 100 kids, but placing people is placing people --- no matter how many there are. I'd just make sure there is a shadow.

 

L

[RanchGirl]

Four different strangers are supposed to hold him tightly for an hour each? That sounds incredibly traumatic for the child not to mention way above and beyond reasonable expectations of a co-op volunteer. I can understand mom needing a break but this doesn't sound like a good experience for the child or the rest of the co-op students & teachers.

[Lisa TX]

My thought was that it would be someone that volunteered --- felt called to the special job --- and it would have to be one person all day so he could bond with her. The mom might have to be part of that transition. If it couldn't be worked out and the mom didn't want to be the shadow, then it doesn't happen. The family doesn't participate.

 

I'm amazed at what jobs have to be done at co-op that I assume NO ONE would want to do, but when I ask for a volunteer, someone feels totally called, equipped, and blessed to do it. You never know until you ask : ).

 

Being willing to say, "This isn't working" if necessary is a must.

[Tidbits of Learning]

Four different strangers are supposed to hold him tightly for an hour each? That sounds incredibly traumatic for the child not to mention way above and beyond reasonable expectations of a co-op volunteer. I can understand mom needing a break but this doesn't sound like a good experience for the child or the rest of the co-op students & teachers.

 

I'm not sure what we are expected to handle and not handle. That is my main complaint. I am lucky there will be a 1:1 aide during my hour, but the other 2 hours are still unmanned so to speak. We are going to set up a quiet corner but I am not sure how that will work out.

It is a touchy subject for sure at the co-op. I want more guidance from the co-op on the subject. I want to know what they think we are supposed to handle and at what point we can get the Mom. Right now, we are supposed to handle it all from my understanding. There is no plan to contact the Mom and now she is not in the preschool class at any time during the co-op.

[Tidbits of Learning]

My thought was that it would be someone that volunteered --- felt called to the special job --- and it would have to be one person all day so he could bond with her. The mom might have to be part of that transition. If it couldn't be worked out and the mom didn't want to be the shadow, then it doesn't happen. The family doesn't participate.

 

I'm amazed at what jobs have to be done at co-op that I assume NO ONE would want to do, but when I ask for a volunteer, someone feels totally called, equipped, and blessed to do it. You never know until you ask : ).

 

Being willing to say, "This isn't working" if necessary is a must.

 

I sent you a pm. With you being a co-op director, I thought maybe you could give me some more guidance on what to do and how to get a dialect going all the way around.

[chiguirre]

I'm not sure what we are expected to handle and not handle. That is my main complaint. I am lucky there will be a 1:1 aide during my hour, but the other 2 hours are still unmanned so to speak.

 

If he's got a 1:1 aide during your teaching slot, the aide will be responsible for him during that time. If the other 2 teachers haven't requested/required a 1:1 shadow, perhaps they feel better equipped to deal with this child than you do?

 

Beyond your legitimate concern for your own child's safety, I don't think there's any more you can do to force the other 2 teachers and the coop to address your concerns and IMHO 2 adults could handle the basic safety of the class even if 1 had to deal with the disruptive child. Families with special needs kids have to function with just 2 adults and they manage.

[Tidbits of Learning]

I'm not sure what we are expected to handle and not handle. That is my main complaint. I am lucky there will be a 1:1 aide during my hour, but the other 2 hours are still unmanned so to speak.

 

If he's got a 1:1 aide during your teaching slot, the aide will be responsible for him during that time. If the other 2 teachers haven't requested/required a 1:1 shadow, perhaps they feel better equipped to deal with this child than you do?

 

Beyond your legitimate concern for your own child's safety, I don't think there's any more you can do to force the other 2 teachers and the coop to address your concerns and IMHO 2 adults could handle the basic safety of the class even if 1 had to deal with the disruptive child. Families with special needs kids have to function with just 2 adults and they manage.

 

I guess I wasn't clear. They want an aide for 1:1 for him for all hours of the co-op. The aide for the first hour wasn't requested by me. She got asked after he took to her after it took 2 adults out of the 3 in the room to calm him after 5 adults had to help the class cross the street while the chaos ensued. It was a dangerous situation for the parents and kids involved. We are asking other Moms to give up their free hour instead of his Mom helping in the class. I don't think that is right.

There are 13 other children to think about in this situation as well.

Edited September 21, 2009 by OpenMinded

[Dobela]

I guess I wasn't clear. They want an aide for 1:1 for him for all hours of the co-op. The aide for the first hour wasn't requested by me. She got asked after he took to her after it took 2 adults out of the 3 in the room to calm him after 5 adults had to help the class cross the street while the chaos ensued. It was a dangerous situation for the parents and kids involved. We are asking other Moms to give up their free hour instead of his Mom helping in the class. I don't think that is right.

There are 13 other children to think about in this situation as well.

The co-op is asking for trouble if this child doesn't have an aide assigned to him at all times. I am not so concerned about his throwing himself on the floor (If he feels pain he will stop), or necessarily harming other children but other safety issues. If he runs out of the class or gets over the gate then runs into the street you could have a dead child instead. Or an abducted one, or a lost one.... Imagine the lawsuits and personal guilt if this happens. This is a very serious situation. I really do understand sympathy for the mom, but she needs to know there are serious safety concerns and the leaders need to be addressing them. If no one else will work voluntarily with this child, then yes, she needs to come sit with him-for his protection. At this point I would personally go to the mom myself and express my concerns. Especially the safety ones. Every mom wants her child to be safe and maybe the leaders need to hear it from her instead of teachers that are new to the situation. Do they feel the teachers are over-reacting?

 

When my dd had serious physical health needs I didn't leave her alone at co-op with someone untrained or that didn't want to be trained. But then the leaders understood and made her care my "job" rather than teaching a class.

[TravelingChris]

I have been in co-ops where parents were required to be there. In all of them, we had exceptions for very special circumstances. These were things like parent undergoing cancer treatments, but I would think that allowing other children to participate but have that child not and the mom stay home with that child may be a better option.

[tex-mex]

It can work, but it wil take lots of effort and lots of communication. It won't necessarily be easy though. Some of my suggests are for more ideal situations so you may have to adapt or change them as you need to. I just don't know how it is all set up for you.

 

First, you should never be alone with this child and an entire class. He needs another adult assigned to him alone full time. For everyone's safety. You can't go chasing him and you can't leave the other kids alone. If he slipped out he could be killed crossing that highway. I don't know how many kids you have but I would personally ask for 3 adults minimal the entire time. You, an assistant for you, and a person assigned to the child. The person assigned to the child needs to rotate some. One, it is a demanding job for that adult. Two, it makes the child accustomed to some change in case that adult is not in class. In our state we always followed the day care guidelines and then divided it in half to make certain we had a good ratio of adults to children as well. If days cares said 1 adult for 15 kids, then we had 2 adults for 15 kids if there were special needs. Then on top of that anyone with severe needs was assigned their very own assistant.

 

The mom may be needing a break. She may be needing to know that he doesn't just do this behavior with her. She may not realize it is this bad - maybe she has never left him in a strange place before or with people who don't know him and so she didn't think he would have had the problems he had. Who knows. If several people knew in advance, it is possible she assumed that everyone knew or would pass on the information to those in charge or responsible for him. Sadly, that didn't happen.

 

I have a MEd in early childhood special ed and worked in developmental centers. Many of our students had autism. With known sensory problems it was always a trial at first. Always. New sounds, new textures, new smells, new people... I could go on and on. However, with only a couple of exceptions over the several years I did this, every child we had always settled down and did ok with assistance. Once the place became familiar, it helped. A regular routine was important. A visual timetable can work, once he understands what it means. You may want to use it with the entire group of kids and teach it to them (in case you have others who like knowing what to expect). A quiet area can work as well. Bean bags are a great idea as are a small heavy blanket or vest. If the lights are harsh, maybe you can use fewer lights or turn them off some during the class time. I would be careful about removing him every time he screams though. He may be using it as a way out and honestly, the mom needs him to learn to stay in a place with out her and eventually learn to ask to leave.

 

Another idea along the lines of the visual time table is to make a book for him to read at home with his mother with pictures of kids, staff, and rooms that he will be around. It is like a social stories book where he can learn those important aspects and they might not feel as strange to him when he returns.

 

While it is great that his mom is coming first to pick him up, I also think that at some point you will need to have her come later or randomly. If you don't, everytime she runs late unexpectedly he will melt down.

 

Involve her more. Ask her what she does, what works to calm him, what works to motivate him (rewards, etc). Ask her what she needs and what she expects to happen.

 

I hope this helps. I apologize for the randomness of the post though. I was mostly typing as I was thinking out loud.

 

 

:iagree::iagree: Another thing is the child needs one person to be the aide -- if mom needs a break. That way the child knows the aide and no stress when switching classes. Big commitment for an all day volunteer.