Desert Rat Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 I remember a thread here recently about a boy who was accused by friends of taking something during a sleepover so this is why I thought I'd ask. Background: During our summer break I checked out ONLY 9 books from the library. We made one stop after the library. My ds remembers reading one of the books INSIDE our house. We have a special shelf where the library books live while they are here. This was on a Tuesday. An acquaintance called asking for some advice about beginning to homeschool. I invited her over. I had broken off the relationship because her children were extremely difficult. Our oldest boys attended preschool together. I was pleasantly surprised to find that her boys and the 2 yo girl were very well behaved while here. This was 2 days after the library trip. Friday I decide to run the books back. 3 are missing. I tear the house apart, both cars, the garage. I've looked everywhere over the last 6 weeks going so far as to remove furniture from rooms, clear bookshelves and replace books one at a time and pull out the shelves themselves (thanks Quiver!). I've looked in the pantry, kitchen cupboards and bathrooms. Nothing. I can renew them 3 times for a total of 9 weeks. We have 3 weeks left as of today. 3 days ago one of the books was returned to the library. Just one. There is a slim possibility that the books could have slid out of the van during the stop after the library but my ds remembers them being in the house and so do I. I remember seeing the titles on the shelf and reading them to my little one. I truly think that this woman's child(ren) took the books home in the diaper bag. Here are my questions. Would you call the woman? I still owe about $32. I don't want to pay it but I'd rather pay than accuse this woman's children of stealing wrongly. If I were to call, what should I say? I can try light and breezy but I can never seem to pull that off! FWIW, I don't feel as bad paying a fine now that I know that I didn't lose the books, if that makes sense. What says the hive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddhabelly Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 I don't know, but I just wanted to say that we have friends that take books from our home without asking. The mom seems to be the last person in the world to find out that her kids are dishonest. Or else she's in denial, I really don't know. We won't let her kids inside our house anymore.....they can play outside, but no more inside play. I am happy to tell her why if she asks. I'm sorry this happened to you. ETA: At least the children steal books, LOL. Count our blessings, hmmm? Julie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 You could send out a general email to "friends" that "might have borrowed" the books, just asking if anyone finds them, could they pop the books back to you or drop them off? I might send it to a few friends...and just explain that you're looking for them:-) No accusing, just "lightly asking". Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Or, ask her if they might have accidentally picked them up with their stuff, that seems like a less threatening question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Having read your posts for awhile now, I'd have to say trust your gut (I do ;) ). You don't seem like one to fly off the handle or make jumps in logic or be unduly suspicious. If you'd rather let it drop and pay the fine, then let it drop and pay the fine. However, you could call and say you're missing some library books and wonder if maybe the kids had picked them? You could make it sound as though it's just as likely your kids sent them away with the books, if you were really concerned about hurt feelings. :grouphug: I trust your judgement, you should too :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claire up north Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I would call and say: When you were over here the other day, my son saw your 2yo looking at some of our books. Now I can't find 2 of them and I've practically destroyed my house looking for them. Is there any chance your daughter packed them away for some more reading at home? This would all be said very friendly, with a totally unaccusing/not-angry tone. It's just one mom trying to find her books and not wanting to rip up the living room carpet in the process... good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I would call and say: When you were over here the other day, my son saw your 2yo looking at some of our books. Now I can't find 2 of them and I've practically destroyed my house looking for them. Is there any chance your daughter packed them away for some more reading at home? This would all be said very friendly, with a totally unaccusing/not-angry tone. It's just one mom trying to find her books and not wanting to rip up the living room carpet in the process... good luck! I woud do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I agree. I'd definitely call her, but you don't need to accuse her of stealing, just imply that they were borrowed or taken by accident and you'd appreciate getting them back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Or, ask her if they might have accidentally picked them up with their stuff, that seems like a less threatening question. Even less threatening would be someting along the lines of, "Did I accidentally put those in your bag when I was packing up after our visit?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Even less threatening would be someting along the lines of, "Did I accidentally put those in your bag when I was packing up after our visit?" LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 LOL! :D I'd just HATE to accuse someone if there was any chance at all that something was *my* fault. Because it's usually *my* fault! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Even less threatening would be someting along the lines of, "Did I accidentally put those in your bag when I was packing up after our visit?":iagree:I'd say it this way. Blame myself somehow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 Thanks, everyone! I appreciate the feedback and see I'll be making a phone call soon. I've decided to wait another 2 weeks and perhaps she'll find them in her house somewhere and drop them off at the library, afterall, one has already made it back. LOL I could get lucky, right? I'll let you guys know how it goes! Thanks for the support! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I am the neighborhood lending library because apparently some families don't own books. :confused: I am thinking of instituting a check out system because it is getting hard to track who has what. I regularly ask kids if they have any of my books and if they are done with them and could return them soon so it is easy for me. I would just ask her to check as you are missing some and were wondering if perhaps that accidently got taken home with their stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 Aw, thanks, Julie. You're too sweet. :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 My dad did this with his books. He kept a note card box with index cards in them. Each person got their own card with the books they borrowed on it. It worked very well for him. I would be okay if she'd "borrowed" my own books, but dang! Library books are spendy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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