Does anyone else get frustrated over outside interruptions?

[Kathie in VA]

Well I don't know what to call it. I'm not talking about the phone or the door bell. I'm talking about ... God's curve balls. The ones you don't see coming like funerals, illness lasting a few weeks, house moves due to a new job, etc. I think we've had too many and I'm getting so tired of it that I'm considering quitting homeschooling. I started homeschooling about 6 or 7 years ago and something big has happened every year (sometimes more then one thing in a year). We've never come close to completing what I planned to do for any given year. I think that is the most frustrating thing. :banghead:

 

I was very clear that God wanted me to homeschool, now I'm wondering if these are signals that He wants me to stop. :confused:

 

My oldest goes into 9th grade in the fall. I'm thinking she might be better off in school. They tend get thru their year no matter what... yes I know they don't always finnish a text book but they do get most of it done.

 

Well thanks for letting me rant.

[SLH in ND]

:grouphug:

 

Well, what about going with the idea that these are more signs that you should continue with homeschooling?

 

I have no experience with having to move multiple times, but I would think that it would be much harder to get settled into a new school, only to have to move again. I know 2 families (one in sales, one in the military) who homeschool mainly because they do move so often.

 

As far as illnesses, I have a recent experience with this one. My oldest dd spent a week in the hospital, just last month, when her appendix ruptured. It was an extremely serious situation. When the surgeon was visiting her, the day she was discharged, he made the most wonderful comments: "How fortunate to be homeschooled. You can work at your own pace at making up your schoolwork, have time to rest & recover, no worries with how long you need to be excused from gym class, etc...." We were so thankful that we could erase that week's lesson plans and move them to the days when she was up to doing the work.

 

With regards to funerals: If it's a funeral of someone very close to you & your children and you needed to take some time off to handle arrangements or just be available for family & friends, or even just needed time to grieve, you are able to take the time you need. When homeschooling, you can take the time you need to do those things.

 

You stated that your kids manage to make it through the school year. If they are doing that and you are comfortable with their progress, then maybe all is well???

 

Sorry if I was a little long-winded. I've often wondered, myself, if God is giving me signs to quit, but sometimes it takes looking at someone else's [similar] situation to make sense of it! kwim?

 

HTH.

 

Sheri :)

[Chris in VA]

I totally agree with Sheri. It was a blessing to be able to homeschool during the time my second son was dealing with drug and alcohol abuse and living at home. He was actually the one I didn't homeschool, but the other two were able to have more of my presence and the stability of homeschooling without the added anxiety of all that ps entails (projects, strict deadlines, social carp, etc.). I was gone a lot, but they still saw me more than they would have.

 

I also feel guilty that I couldn't give them as great an education as I would have had I been more available (which I sense is your worry), but, because homeschooling is more efficient, they got what they needed pretty well. We stayed bonded thru it all. My eldest held some anger that I wasn't more available, but he forgave me and his brother, and we managed to get him into college after all! lol

 

It is more hectic, imo, and harder to get to the relationship building parts of life when kids are in public school--you have this big block of time that is already gone, right from the start of every day, so you have to fit in your time around it. With homeschooling, you have a big block of time, right from the start of every day, when you get to be together. Sure, life happens, and you really are smart to be conscious of what doesn't get done, but you are teaching your children how to handle things by your example. Perhaps you do need some more accountability in what you accomplish, but please don't beat yourself up for just rolling with the punches. Your kids will remember having you around more than they will remember that lesson you didn't get to.

[4kiddies]

Wouldn't those same outside interuptions--funerals, sickness, moves--interupt regardless even if your kids were in school all day? Except then your kids would be "behind" a day, a week, a month than the other kids in the class and may have trouble catching back up.

[Ibbygirl]

It's no surprise to me that you are attacked over the very things that God has called you to do. I serve at my church on Wednesday nights and teach a group of 6th grade Public School girls. Wouldn't you know it that every single week, without fail, something has happened to cause me to be late to church, just barely making it on time, sick, problems with hubby's job, or kids etc. EVERY week. But the girls in my class are doing TREMENDOUS and growing so much. I just take it as a compliment that the enemy considers me dangerous and is really afraid of what God is doing in the lives of these young people.

 

I go through the same things with homeschooling too. Always distractions, interruptions, set backs. But like you I KNOW that I am called to do this. I don't worry about what gets done or doesn't get done. I do my best and let God handle the rest. My daughter has never failed an evaluation and she is growing into a strong young Christian lady.

 

:grouphug: Let me encourage you to keep your chin up. Try not to grow weary while doing good. God knows what you're dealing with and what your feeling. My best advice is just to get some good alone time with Him one on one and just spend some time in prayer and worship. It will make you feel so much better. I like to think of that poem Footprints and how in the most difficult times He carries us. You never walk alone honey. He is with you and will carry you through if you let him. :grouphug: God bless you. :)

[katilac]

Homeschoolers do need to figure out a way to deal with the unexpected, because yeah, it is always going to happen! there are always going to be funerals, illnesses, etc etc.

 

ime, there are two major things that help you deal with curveballs:

 

1) Plan and prep - - if you have schoolwork both planned and prepped ahead of time, it is fairly easy to follow that plan even in chaotic times. for me, this means having deadlines throughout the year (by november, we should complete chapter 10), having a lesson plan for each subject (either one that comes with the book or one I write myself), and prepping work ahead of time (buying the supplies for science experiments, printing maps for history, etc).

 

Your plan needs to take illness and such into account. If there are 80 school days in the first half of the year, having exactly 80 days worth of work planned is setting yourself up for failure.

 

We follow a rough routine; the kids know they work on math, latin and grammar every day, composition on tuesdays and thursdays, and so forth. this means they aren't reliant on me to push them through the entire school day - - if I have a sudden deadline, they can get through a great deal of work on their own (3rd and 5th grade).

 

2) School no matter what - - lots of school can be finished in small chunks of time, under less than ideal conditions. Unexpected events, even ones that take up the bulk of the day, don't translate into an off day for us.

 

You can't write off the entire school day every time you have to attend a funeral, visit a relative in the hospital, or go to the doctor. You just can't, because those things happen all the time.

 

If a grandparent or such dies, obviously I'm not going to insist that grammar get done. But we have schooled in hospital waiting rooms, in the car traveling to funerals, and in between breathing treatments when we're all down with bronchitis. You won't get it all done, but anything is better than nothing. There are times when one is too sick to do anything, of course, but when the sick person is me, there's no reason the kids can't get through the basics. when it's one of them, the other one can certainly do school. Getting some school done before a field trip or while driving to vacation buys you some wiggle room at other times. ((yes, we always do at least a small amount of schoolwork that first day of vacation; it's no great hardship when you are in the car for hours on end anyway!))

 

I honestly find it less stressful when I refuse to let curve balls interfere with school. It might seem easier to drop school for the day or the week when things are chaotic, but is it really? If I let school go too often, I waste time and energy worrying about making it up, etc. It's quicker and simpler to just git 'er done in the first place. And again, every little bit counts; never think that it's not worth it to do 10, 20 or 30 minutes of school.

 

It's fine not to finish every last thing (we're two chapters short on science this year), but I'm not a person who's comfortable with routinely not finishing books in core subjects (math, science, grammar, etc). If I had continual trouble with finishing what I planned for the year, I'd take a long hard look at why. Am I attempting too much? This is where planning out the year can be helpful - - if it's impossible to fit all your plans on paper, it's certainly impossible to fit them all into real life. Do we have too many outside activities? Are we too quick to write off the school day in the face of adversity?

 

When you say that you never come close to finishing all that you have planned, does that mean that you have covered all the basics but didn't get to your really ambitious, knock-your-socks-off plans? Or does it mean that you haven't finished what is needed for your kids to truly progress to the next grade? One off year isn't going to inflict permanent damage, but I do think a well-planned year in which the student finishes their core work should be the norm. If that can't be provided, for whatever reason, then yes, I would be taking a long, hard look at school.

Edited May 28, 2009 by katilac

[Jean in Newcastle]

This is why we school year around. Because there are those curve balls. But I too am glad that my kids will not be scrambling to catch up to the pack because they missed school. Many of my health curve balls don't directly affect the kids because I give them a checklist and they do much of their work independently (esp. the 6th grader). Today I'm so tired and weak from dealing with a double ear infection, but dd7 has done her math and copywork and ds11 has finished math and Latin. We will still do more school today even though I'm not operating on all cylinders.

[Denisemomof4]

Honestly, I've been dealing with this for 4 years now. I honestly just wish God would give me a break. I know His word tells me that I'll never get more than I can handle, but I seriously question that.

 

I did place my kids in school three years ago and I honestly thought I could qualify to be hospitalized for exhaustion. Placing my kids in school was both good and bad, and I DO have regrets. I've since pulled my girls out and plan to school them at home - no exceptions - through high school. But i'm still tired, tired, tired.

 

In a nutshell, we adopted 5 years ago. I quickly learned that raising adopted kids versus bio kids was VERY different and VERY hard. My daughter has an attachment disorder and is SO challenging. We've come a looooooooooooooooong way since then, but at the time it was absolutely HORRIFIC. I also was convinced I had MS and was losing the use of my arms AND legs. Doctors were of no help. I did research and changed my diet and added herbs, and two years later I started to get better.

 

Also during that time, the decline of my YOUNG parents health. I had to drive 45 minutes to their town to help them, take them to appts. etc. Hospitalizations, nursing homes, etc. Then my MIL had a stroke and heart attack. We had to work on her house to GET IT UP TO CODE. My best friend's husband and mother got cancer, both died within 10 days. I was there for them. And dad died last August at age 67, mom's care immediately went downhill so we brought her home to live with us in January. She is only able to partially feed herself, can't stand, etc. She has severe dementia, Parkinsons, colitis. I've seen a turn around in her, she's doing fantastic. Then dh and I go away for the day to celebrate our 20th anniversary LAST WEEK and Adult Protective Services were called on us because I called a nurse out to check on mom (I had an aide with her all day, one that knows her well and has been caring for her) and since she couldn't get her to awake, something that happens almost DAILY, she called 911. Pollice, fire dept. and APS came to the house, now we have THAT to deal with. (BTW, the police and fire dept. saw she was fine. I brought mom to the ER and told them to admit to observe her for the night. The drs there KNOW us, we're there every 2 weeks lately. They know about her outstanding care and always compliment me on how well mom looks. The dr was VERY angry at what happened and he told me that he was my mother's advocate, but also MY advocate. it was a very traumatic night.) DS broke his femur two weeks ago, and he's also being tested for recurrent pneumonia - 3 cases of it in 9 months, all different sites. My BP is out of control and my dr is concerned and going to run echocardiograms, 24 hour monitor. I JUST NEED A BREAK.

 

I'm really getting fed up and wondering WHY God won't give us a break. I KNOW I'm in His will, I'm caring for orphans and widows. My life is TOO HARD. Some days I just am so exhausted that I literally have to FORCE myself otu of bed.

 

Our home, our haven, was always kept up so well. We've neglected it for three years now to take care of everyone else.

 

So yes, I understand what you're saying.

 

I'm so sorry for my ranting and whining. All this as I type with sunglasses and a MAJOR migraine.

 

Time to go. Mom needs to awake and be fed.

 

God help me!

Denise

[Impish]

Denise...wow. I just wanted to give you a huge hug, but this will have to do :grouphug:

 

Praying that your load eases, that you get some rest. Hopefully you can find some more hands to pitch in and ease this load :grouphug: