This is part of a list from a teacher who said I could share it. They are his personal picks. War All Quiet on the Western Front Apocalypse Now ® The Birth of a Nation Born on the 4th of July ® Braveheart ® Bridge on the River Kwai Coming Home ® The Deer Hunter ® Glory ® The Great Escape Lawrence of Arabia The Longest Day Paths of Glory Patton Platoon ® Saving Private Ryan ® Schindler’s List ® Stalag 17 Three Kings ® Western Butch Cassidy & Sundance Cat Ballou Dances With Wolves High Noon McCabe and Mrs. Miller Outlaw Josey Wales Red River The Searchers Shane Unforgiven ® The Wild Bunch ®

My point was his sister said he was subtle and sly BEFORE* he was caught, even when he knew it was wrong. She could very well believe he stopped when he HADN'T,* in fact, stopped but only became more subtle and sly upon his return. Edited to add: I believe she believes it, or wants to believe it. *CAPS for emPHAsis, not yelling.

It is a quote from Jessa Seewald, that I C&Ped from the transcript of the oral interview.

you seem really invested in having the only valid frank and bean POV. Let it be known that I know nothing of franks, beans, franks and and beans or beans and franks. :D

It's a joke. I have no idea if she's really gone. Sh!t just pops into my head, like the DL skit. When I wrote "really gone" I thought of *mostly dead* line from the Princess Bride. That made me think of the lyrics from *Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead*. So maybe she's mostly gone. Or maybe she is not just merely gone, but really most sincerely gone.

Yeah, yeah, no doubt. I think there is something to be said to let interviewees talk during the interview, not to play the interrogator too heavily. Just let them speak and see what is said.

Anyone remember when David Letterman worked at Taco Bell drive through and he was going on and on to a female customer. Then when he finally stopped talking the next customer in line said, "She's already gone, chief." :lol:

This is the quote that troubles very much: Edited to add this from the interview of Jessa Seewald, Josh's sister. <Jessa> "SEEWALD: No. I think for us our situation is so different than most girls in that he was -- he's very subtle anyway. Like he knew in his mind my actions are wrong and I have bad intentions but he was very sly like the girls didn't catch on, you know. It was like, okay, if you catch the girl sleeping, you know, like a quick feel or whatever. Or it's like, you know, if you're just not really aware, you know, in the situation that happened when the girls were awake, it's like they weren't aware what was happening. It was very subtle. And so I think that for us it's like, okay, we realize this is serious but at the same time it wasn't like a horror story or like this terrible thing or like, oh my goodness, we were like --" Specifically the phrases *very subtle* *knew my actions were wrong and have bad intentions* *very sly* He "knew" he was wrong so he was subtle and sly. What changed in his time away in this regard?

Well, since you used the phrase "the restroom" I assumed you meant a specific place where men go to relieve themselves, not just any old place and in any old circumstances. IOW, when they are just there for *business* *urinary business*...do it quickly and move on. I've seen enough men urinate in that mindset...do it quickly...and they don't pull out the beans. I've got boys ( and a DH) who've been in locker rooms forever. I know they've seen it all. I'm not sure where you came up with this "If you think men hardly ever see their beans, I don't know what else to say to you" conclusion from what I wrote but you drawn a seriously Erroneous conclusion.

Woohoo! I preordered a print version (mass market...I'm not sure of the difference but that one had an earlier date). :party:

Quill and Participants, Thanks for keeping this up. I haven't posted since January, I think, but just reading the title of the thread all the time keeps the issue in the forefront of my thoughts. I appreciate it!

I can understand this. I especially think that depending on the circumstances of the loss, certain phrases can be especially hurtful. I have a very close relative whose father died in front of her when she was a small child. Her reaction to hearing "don't have a heart attack" is visceral, not intellectual. Perhaps another person in the same circumstances (watching her father die when she was a child) might NOT have a visceral (negative) reaction decades later. But for me, I'd rather avoid using potentially hurtful phrases about death, violence, etc...

I've seen men urinate. It's been my experience they pull out the frank, not the beans.

I am very late to this thread and IMO, the best thing to do is to follow the lead of the grieving. I DO try to avoid jokes and hyperbole about violence, fatalities, diseases, accidents, etc because I know people are sensitive. I'm sure I've failed but my goal is to NOT do it. "Don't have a heart attack." can very well be taken as hurtful and dismissive so I try to not to use phrases like that in general bc I just don't know if it will cause someone pain. Using dark humor is a coping mechanism for some and that is fine, too. But I'd rather err on the cautious side not use it unless I'm among very close friends and family.

...tangentially related... I was ( still am) a voracious reader growing up and my reading vocabulary was vast. But there were words I hadn't heard spoken IRL and wasn't sure how to pronounce. It only took a couple times of adults laughing at my mispronunciations before I mostly stopped trying to use "new" words unless I was 100% certain about how to pronounce them. I did appreciate the adults who matter-of-factly said the correct pronunciation, instead of laughing or mocking. It was similar to when I was reading (and I read at a pace of several books a day) and would ask, "what does XXX mean?" bc I was zooming thru books and was told, "Look it up." ARGHHHHH! I certainly could have looked it up, (and often did, when I was done) but I was usually so into the book I didn't want to stop.

Way to go, Katie! :hurray: BTW, do you know when your book is coming out? Does Harlequin do preorders? :D

Hahaha. The announcer called him the horse with the misspelled name. :lol:

Well, spelling aside, American Pharoah is the first Triple Crown winner since 1978! Amazing race, nearly wire to wire. :hurray: Victor Espinoza sounds so thrilled.

Also, "get out of my spot" and "excuse me." :D

Crate. He'll run in his crate.

A lot of families HAVE had children who have been the victims of sexual abuse. It is not know that the quote is simply referring to sibling sexual abuse. But it is also true that a lot of families have children who are victims of sibling sexual abuse. It is alarming because it is true...but it is not known the exact numbers or exact relationships of the victims and abusers they are referencing.

Our family gets a kick out of the race horse named Hoof Hearted. Sounds fine until the track announcer says it really fast. :lol: This was a few years ago.

I've done it. A few years ago, I heard kids saying, "it's all Gucci" a lot. I knew they meant "it's all good" but I never gave any thought to its origins. So when I wrote it on the board, I wrote, "it's all goochie" bc that is how it sounded. I didn't think it was referring to Gucci, the designer. Someone here corrected me.

Hey, Amy, I hope everything worked out and you got the scripts you needed. :grouphug:

I've never heard of the spin off. I have vast swaths of movies I missed out on the first time they came out. It's nice when the kids get old enough to "discover" movies that I might have missed or that I loved back in the day. (like the Big Lewbowski...I knew DS is really mine when he LOLed so hard at the movie and watched it about 5 times in a weekend. *you want a toe? Because I can get you a toe...*)