Make a list of books that you want to ask your 9 y/o to read to your 5 y/o when your 5 y/o is 7 or 8 that you don't think you'll want to read again haha. (Hey, my 11 y/o LOVES reading aloud to her 6 y/o brother! Not that I don't read to him, too, I do, and I do with her as well. But that doesn't mean I will necessarily want to read every good book aloud AGAIN). :D Some of them you might be willing to go back and re-read aloud. Some of them you might want to put on a list that you don't think should be missed but you might not want to have to read again. Maybe one of the older kids will do it. ;) With the difference in my kids' ages read aloud times are usually pretty individual rather than family read alouds, they're not at all interested in the same things!

I did not use the placement test at all. I ordered the grade level my child was at. She was going into 5th grade when I started TT, so I ordered TT5. My daughter was not what I considered overly mathy and she did not love math. Sure, I had heard all the "TT is too easy/too behind" stories, but I just didn't care. I figured, she's in 5th grade, so I'm going to order TT5. IF it turns out to be true, that it's easy and a grade level or so behind, who cares. If the worst thing that happens this year is that she has an easy year of math and what it ends up doing is being a year of review and confidence building, so be it. Eventually she'll go through all the grade levels and learn everything she needs to know, and if she can do that without math feeling like a struggle and without a "math is too hard" attitude, more the better. As it turned out, she used it at grade level with no supplementing whatsoever, and at times when I would watch, DID it seem "easy?" Yep. Because they explain it in a VERY easy to understand fashion, AND they do TONS of review, sneaking in new material mixed in with that. And still, at the end of that year, when she took a standardized test, her scores had improved by leaps and bounds over the previous years standardized test, and her scores were NOT the scores of a kid or curriculum that was a year or two "behind." She'd done significantly better than average. I was impressed! And I've seen quite a few people around here say the same thing since! If she had been more mathy and more confident in math and hadn't already started to develop a "math is too hard, I'm not good at math" attitude I might have been more likely to use a placement test, but my concerns were making sure she had confidence in math at that point, and found it fun again, and just knew that she COULD do it, it WASN'T "too hard," she WASN'T "bad" at it, etc. The rest was just icing on the cake!

How exciting! Congrats to your daughter! :)

It does sound light-hearted, and I'm sure it will be perfectly fine. I'm sure they will be looking forward to going out with you, I'm sure you will have a great time, there will be no need for you to miss out on your celebration or feel hurt, everyone will have fun, it'll all be good! :)

Sounds like you're definitely over thinking this! Each of them has said something to you, and they all want to go out with you! It sounds like they've just each been waiting to hear what works for your schedule or aren't sure what you want to do or when, etc. I think you can safely take the matter into your own hands without worrying in the slightest about them feeling you are being "pushy." Just email and say in a matter-of-fact but light-hearted way, "Okay girls, now that I've let nearly a year go by without finding time in the schedule to celebrate my 40th, think we can squeeze in that "40th" birthday dinner on or before my 41st? :) Here are some dates that I have available. Are you guys free?" They'll ask where, you'll tell them. No biggie. Go! Have fun! It sounds like everybody had the best of intentions and there was nothing malicious about this! :)

The Safe Zone is probably for kids aged maybe 10 through middle school, teaching them strategies and philosophies similar to what adults get out of Protecting the Gift. (Maybe even a bit younger, though parents should preview it first). My daughter's judo sensei is the one who first recommended Protecting the Gift to me, and then I recently brought him in a copy of The Safe Zone and told him he should take a look at it, that I thought he'd like it (I read it with my daughter last year when she was 10). He's had it for the past three or four weeks and keeps asking if he can hold onto it for another week lol...he loves it, said he's used it with some kids he does classes with at local schools and stuff. He does anti-bullying and anti-abduction type classes. Here's a link to the book: http://www.amazon.com/Safe-Zone-Guide-Personal-Safety/dp/0688153089/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330461892&sr=8-1

Ah. Well. I can see wanting to find a balance. But if that was his favorite one (and you said he loved it) I might try to give him a choice of skipping something else (maybe even book club) and doing the gym class instead. We do a lot of running around, too, but it doesn't really bother me, I kind of like getting out of the house, and I like that we have time as homeschoolers for the kids to do so many different activities, and I like for them to get to socialize a lot, and I think that their various activities can be as educational as anything else. My daughter has a book club at the library every two Mondays, Girl Scouts every Thursday, guitar lesson every Friday, and Judo every Saturday. Both kids have homeschool bowling league every Friday, as well. Teeball will start soon for my son, and I don't know the schedule for that yet. but at least bowling will end the month after lol. I plan lots of field trips and tours and such through my homeschool group, too, and we are on the go a lot. It's actually one of my favorite parts of homeschooling. And around that we fit in our schooling. And we just do our best to keep up with stuff around the house lol. We all pitch in. And it's not that I don't think schoolwork is important, it's that I think an education comes in many forms and that worksheets and textbooks aren't the end all and be all to an education, especially when you're talking about children who haven't even hit their teens yet (my daughter's 11, your son's only 8). They learn so much being out and about, too, I think. And I DO agree that socializing is important, especially to an 8 year old. Now I know that some feel differently and maybe you do, I don't know. To me if I had a son who LOVED this gym class and it was important to him and my husband felt the same way and he was this upset, to me that would matter more than a book club (which you said was a far drive for you, right?), a latin class (I know I might be in the minority around here but I just don't see why an 8 y/o needs to know latin), whatever. I'd try to get him to each but if I felt that was too much for me or for my younger child etc, then I'd let him choose rather than make him give up the extra-curricular he loved the most, especially if it was causing tension for my husband, too. In the end, though, just do whatever causes the most harmony in your household for everybody concerned!

If there is anything that is able to be donated, I want it donated. The rest of me, I would like to have cremated. I don't particularly care what happens to the ashes, if there is something that is meaningful to the ones left behind, then they can do what they want with them. The reasons I want to be cremated are: 1) It's cheaper than a traditional funeral, which is financially easier on my loved ones 2) It's less creepy to me than the idea of being stuck underground 3) I figure eventually they have to run out of room to bury all those coffins and bodies, right? I'm helping out! 4) I don't think coffins, embalming fluids, chemicals etc are all that friendly to the environment to begin with My husband on the other hand for some reason is really bothered by the idea of being cremated and does want to be buried). So we'll be going our separate ways after death. :P

Me, too! Not sure which day, but looking forward to seeing it! So do you like all the Dean Koontz books as much as you did back when? I used to love him in my teens! The Handmaid's Tale is one I read many years ago and just never, ever forgot, I should re-read that one! And Protecting the Gift...every parent should read that one! By the way for a very similar philosophy but geared toward kids instead of for adults to read, I recommend "The Safe Zone," by Donna Chaiet.

I don't know anything about your original post on the subject, but if your son is that upset about them being canceled, I would let him have them back. Even more so since your husband is also worried about him missing out on socialization because of you canceling them. It's still fairly easy, at 8, to manage to be more relaxed about your school day (in my opinion, anyway), I know that gets a bit more difficult the older they get.

I've finished "Into the Dreaming," and I'm reading "A Judgement In Stone" by Ruth Rendell. What provoked a modern-day St. Valentine's Day massacre? On Valentine's Day, four members of the Coverdale family- George, Jacqueline, Melinda, and Giles- were murdered in the space of 15 minutes. Their housekeeper, Eunice Parchman, shot them one by one in the blue light of a televised performance of Don Giovanni. When Detective Chief Superintendent William Vetch arrests Miss Parchman two weeks later, he discovers a second tragedy: the key to the Valentine's Day massacre, a private humiliation Eunice Parchman has guarded all her life. A brilliant rendering of character, motive, and the heady discovery of truth, A Judgement in Stone is among Ruth Rendell's finest psychological thrillers. I don't usually read her but my mother read it and passed it on insisting it was a great read, so, we'll see!

Do you start your day with something fun? You could make a point of doing that. If it's nice enough in the mornings, maybe go for a walk and get in a little fresh air and exercise and nature and see if you notice anything interesting or feed some birds and squirrels or collect some nature items or whatever, then come back and maybe do a read aloud during breakfast/morning snack. Then start with a subject they enjoy most. Starting the day off with a positive experience and attitude may make the rest of the day more likely to follow.

Yep. Here, in part, is what Michael Pearl says on his website in answer to how to handle a 7 month old who cries when put down to bed: "When you have taken the child through her night-time paces and left her to sleep, never, never allow her to come out of the snooze mode and become active again. To do so is to leave her with the belief that time and place of sleep is left to her discretion. Humans are made by God to operate according to stimulation. Things that activate any of the senses are stimulating and pleasurable. Children love pleasure, and they love to be stimulated. They so love excitement that they will fight going into the “shut-off†mode. Wind them down gently so sleep comes naturally. If the child has been mistrained, or if you have failed to provide a good prelude to sleep, and the child rises up to fight and resist, you should evaluate your whole procedure so as to improve your pre-sleep ritual for tomorrow night. But for the moment, you must constrain the child to obey authority and remain lying down. As a last resort, you may have to prove the power of your word by enforcing it with one or two stinging licks (applied with a small flexible switch) to the child’s leg that says to the child, “There is no reward for getting up; Mama means business; she is not going to give over to my demands; the path to greatest pleasure is to go to sleep; there is no alternative; my parents always get their way; what can I say? Good night.†Commands are not negotiable; authority must be obeyed. The soul of the child needs that kind of authority in her life to be stable emotionally and to develop a will to accept discipline." In regard to a six month old dumping his food on the floor, he says, in part: "Dumping it is not a great offense for a six-month-old, but he will not always be six months old, and it won’t be cute for long. It will make you downright mad when he is three years old and flings a whole plate of food into your lap. So we watch him, knowing his propensity to selfish compulsion. When he seizes his bowl with intentions of dumping it, swat the offending hand with a little instrument (light wooden spoon, rubber spatula, flexible tubing less than a quarter inch in diameter, or any instrument that will cause an unpleasant sting without leaving any marks). As you swat the offending hand, say “No†in a normal commanding voice. The tone is more important than the word―not angry―but decisive. Children understand the temperament in your tone before they are born, and will recognize it. This swat is not punishment. Probably, it will not even cause the little guy to cry. He will be shocked and stop any action in which he is engaged. Explain to him that he is not to throw his food onto the floor. If he again makes an attempt, swat his hand again and say, no. The third time is the charm. He now knows that “No†uttered in a commanding tone, is something serious. He will not try that stunt again—at least not for this meal. Understand well, if he has already dumped his food onto the floor, it is too late to swat him. He will not make the intellectual association, and any spanking would then be “punishment†for past deeds, entirely counterproductive for a small child. If you didn’t catch him as he was attempting to spill it, then you must put the plate and food back in front of him and be ready to respond when he tries it again. This is training for the purpose of discipline. The child will actually profit emotionally from this exercise, for he is constrained to act in ways that will make him more loved and cause him to find wide approval from everyone he is around. A child with unacceptable habits becomes a rejected child, then a dejected child, and eventually a self-loathing kid who feels that he can never please anyone and that no one likes him. I am sorry the psychologists and secular child advocates don’t get it, but then if all parents practiced child training as I have suggested, there wouldn’t be any need for abnormal psychologists or child protection agencies. A lot of people would move on to more practical kinds of work, and there wouldn’t be any more crime or war. Yes, we spank our little ones, but only as we define spanking, not as others might imagine it to be. We obey God in applying the rod of training, not because we are gullible and blind religious fools, but because the Word of God has made us wise beyond our secular peers. We know what is good for our children." Somebody asks them to describe the rod they so often speak of, and Debi writes: "The rod we speak of is a plumbing supply line that can be bought at any hardware store or large department store. It is a slim, flexible, plastic tubing that supplies water to sinks, and toilets. Ask for “¼ inch supply line.†They cost less than one dollar. I always give myself one swat before I swat the child to remind myself how much force to exert. It stings the skin without bruising or damaging tissue. It’s a real attention-getter."

And really I'm getting a little scared hearing people find ways to shrug off beating infants with tree branches and other such forms of abuse as normal and ok and repeatedly justifying and defending and validating such a thing.

Um yes I've read the book and what other sort of 10 to 12 inch branch stripped of knots do YOU think they were talking about if not a tree branch? They used the word branch themselves. I'm sorry, me adding tree made it worse or more sensational? Please.

And you didn't even blink at the fact that they recommended using a tree branch on a baby. Wow. Well. That's how they get you, I guess. They find these people who go "but it's normal, I was raised to think it's ok to hit, and discipline makes kids happy after all" (never mind that there are other ways to discipline), and then they throw in all the bible stuff, and the poor babies don't stand a chance. These people don't just smack hands on occasion in unsafe situations by the way. They do it to babies for crawling off blankets or up stairs while saying "no" to teach instant obedience. They do it to toddlers for having age appropriate tantrums. They recommend pulling hair if nursing babies bite, they recommend leaving a child without breath to cry, completely breaking their will, it goes on and on.

I know. I know I said I was done but I'm already just beyond upset. I knew it would happen the second I opened a thread with those monsters' names in it. Here's a direct excerpt from their book: Chapter 6, "Applying the Rod," in a section titled "Instruments of Love" (cough), says: "For the under one year old, a small, ten- to twelve-inch long, willowy branch (striped of any knots that might break the skin), about one-eighth of an inch in diameter is sufficient. Sometimes alternatives have to be sought. A one-foot ruler, or its equivalent in a paddle, is a sufficient alternative. For the larger child, a belt or larger tree branch is effective." For the UNDER ONE YEAR OLD? WTF? Are you KIDDING ME? These are BABIES. They are telling you what implements to BEAT BABIES with. And calling them instruments of love. And telling you why its biblical to do this. And that's not harsh or cruel or abusive or CRAZY?

Okay, except humans tend to want "expert opinions" and religious humans tend to want to "do the biblical thing" and the Pearls tend to claim to be able to offer knowledge on both (expert parenting advice and above all biblical parenting advice). The OP already said that her friend says their principles are biblical and she can't find fault with their theology, that physical punishment cleanses the soul, that the rod is a comfort to the child, and that she "missed this before" (but presumably now thanks to the Pearls it's all clear to her). We have someone in this thread on this page talking about how in no way do they advocate harsh, cruel discipline, even though they will tell you what size switch you should use on a one year old baby. A one.year.old.BABY. They are crazy and abusive and yet they are so alluring and so promising and manage to use the bible so convincingly that otherwise normal people are just convinced that they should listen to these teachings. It turns my stomach and makes me want to cry for all those poor babies and children out there. You can build relationships and "tie strings" without physically hurting your children. I don't understand why so many people buy into that crap, but they do. And they're not all people you might already have considered "insane" or "abusive." I'm gonna check out of this thread now because it's just going to make me crazy and depressed today. I said my piece and I can't do the circular argument thing anymore. All I can do is reiterate that the OP's friend would no longer be my friend, no way, no how.

:iagree:

It's not the same. The Pearls are very dangerous. They can be very seductive. They claim to know how to raise perfectly obedient children and go on about how you can have kids who will obey the first time every time and how this is good for your kids and your relationship because it will lead to harmony in the relationship and so on and so forth and then you can enjoy your kids, and they'll always listen to you. They talk about how this can even save your kids because once in a dangerous situation their kids listened when it counted no questions asked and its important for kids to do that. They lure parents into thinking, can it really be that way? Will my kids really be that obedient if I just follow these teachings, and will it really make my relationship better in the long run? Then, to make it worse, they get the religious/Christian parents by throwing in all this bible stuff. Plus, they say, the bible TELLS you to do this. We can prove it. And they go on and on about how the bible and Jesus and so on says this is what you should do, and you would not believe how CONVINCING they can be. And they go on and on about their "success stories," and they've got people buying into it left and right, wanting to believe them, wanting to be doing the "right" thing (ironic!), and the "biblical" thing. And they manage to get so many of those conservative religious parents scared that they're dooming their kids to hell if they don't do what they're told. Even some people thinking, well, maybe I don't have to do it that extreme. But if at first it doesn't work they're told, well, but you didn't REALLY follow it, you can't just half way follow it, you have to go ALL IN and believe us, it will work, and then you won't HAVE to do it so much anymore and blah blah blah... it's such a dangerous horrible slippery slope but people are DOING IT!! I've seen people right here on this board admit they subscribe to the Pearls' followings. It's nowhere NEAR the same thing as some off-hand remark about how reading Mark Twain could make someone a racist.

lol that IS great news! I'm always cheering myself up by going, "Okay, it's January and next month is the shortest month of the year! Okay, it's February and February's the shortest month of the year! Okay, March is the last really cold month!" I really hate winter and cold and ice and all of that stuff, I can't wait for spring/summer/warmth! :D

I wouldn't "homeschool" Pre-K as in get some formal preschool curriculum and sit down for X amount of time each day to formally do it and focus on it. I would just play and interact with my preschooler a lot. I would teach my preschooler some stuff but for me that's part of playing and interacting with my preschooler. We'd play conversational, board and computer games for instance that teach letters and numbers because at 3 and 4 they become developmentally ready and interested in those type of games and begin to absorb that type of stuff. We'd begin to count things, I'd point things out, we'd be playing conversational rhyming games and opposite games and beginning to spell his/her name, and watching educational preschooler shows together that also teach letters and numbers and so on. This was basically how my son's "preschool" years here at home went- it wasn't a formal effort to "homeschool" him for preschool, it was just continuing to parent him and interact with him. And yet he learned tons informally because, really, how could he not? They're like sponges during those years, they just absorb tons. And we'd talk about things all the time, and we'd go outside a lot and there would be nature and sciency stuff and field trips and arts and crafts and playing catch and riding his little bike and playing at the park and helping me sort socks and make cupcakes and do chores and so on and so forth. I read to him a lot, we'd play sorting games, we'd play math games while waiting for our food at a restaurant (If you have two crayons and I give you three more crayons, how many crayons do you have?), he'd ask me how much candy cost at the check out line and I'd tell him, I'd give him my spare change all the time and tell him how much it was. And he learned all the time. But I did not try to introduce very formal academics such as teaching him to read in preschool or whatever. If he were going to public school K, I'd have gone about his preschool years the exact same way.

Remember that story where some school was video monitoring kids in their homes from their laptops or something? The laptops had webcams that could activated remotely. School computers scare me. :P I think if I was in that situation I'd want my kids to use school computers to school and home computers at home, and home computers would not be part of a school "network" thank-you-very-much.

That wouldn't be my friend anymore. "I find those people to be child abusers who promote extreme abuse which has led to the death of quite a few children. I'm sorry that you've fallen into their trap, I'm sorry that you're finding ways to justify it, but I will not listen to it, I will not be around it, I will not watch it happen to your children, I will not risk my children having to hear about it, so I do not feel our friendship can continue at this point. I hope that you come to realize how vile and dangerous they are before your children get hurt too badly, or your relationship with them does. When you reach a point where you no longer embrace the teachings of a couple of child abusers over a loving relationship with your children, perhaps at that point we can resume our relationship as well." Harsh? Who cares. So's beating on your kids til you destroy their spirits. Besides she has no problem pushing her viewpoints on you.

COMPLETE 1. Envy, by J.R. Ward (Fallen Angels series) 2. Kiss of the Highlander, by Karen Marie Moning (Highlander series) 3. The Ramayana, A Shortened Modern Prose Version of the Indian Epic, by R.K. Narayan (with my daughter for school reading) 4. Dark Highlander, by Karen Marie Moning (Highlander series) 5. The Immortal Highlander, by Karen Marie Moning (Highlander series) 6. Spell of the Highlander, by Karen Marie Moning (Highlander series) 7. 11/22/63, by Stephen King (LOVED!) 8. The Traveler, by John Twelve Hawks (Fourth Realm Trilogy, Book 1) CURRENT 9. Into the Dreaming, by Karen Marie Moning (last in the Highlander series)