Wow, that's very sad! I've done the helium from a balloon thing myself to be silly (I can't remember when that last happened, but I've done it) and I never thought THAT could kill you. I just called my 11 y/o over and talked to her about this and told her never to do it and why and told her about some of these stories, and she agreed that she wouldn't!

Tell him it needs an apostrophe and he can only use it when he's writing dialogue, 'cause it's slang. :P

Ugh. My daughter was constantly losing recess (the lousy 15 minutes of it that they got) when she was in K and 1st grade as a punishment for "talking too much" in the classroom when she was in public school. It was one of the things that finally led to me pulling her out and starting to homeschool when she was in 3rd grade, and to not sending my son to public school to begin with. Young children are not developmentally ready to just sit still and quiet for hours on end. They need to move and talk and explore and so on. Taking that away from them just makes things worse. I was shocked they'd do that to a Kindergartener and 1st grader. Making a preschooler miss outside time to do math instead? I'd be furious.

Well, it's sort of slang/for short/informal. And it would have an apostrophe before it. It broke 'cause I dropped it. ETA: And I'd only allow it in a writing assignment if it was he had a character saying it, not in any formal writing! :) If he was speaking aloud and using some slang as a nine year old I'd probably overlook it most of the time.

Ok well it came across (to me) like you meant it a bit snarky, but that's fine. I didn't say that it would spread to other members. I said if I don't nip certain things in the bud, they'll just always be a problem. Meaning if I didn't say something and stop her from doing certain things, she'd just keep doing it. And it would always be a problem with HER, not that everybody else would suddenly become a problem, too. So I need to address problems as they occur with relevant members, maybe not the very first time it happens, but after I see it's a recurring issue. As was the case with her. I don't think I need to amend my post to include a just agree with me statement, it seems most people already did. :P (and I'm fine with the fact that a few didn't. If the majority didn't, I'd consider re-evaluating my position, I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't being way out of line in my expectations. The consensus seems to be that I'm not). Still, I do understand where you are coming from and why you feel the way you do. I'm just having a hard time feeling the same way, and yes, I admit that at least in part it's definitely due to being frustrated over her history in this group so far. But also in part due to not wanting her to continue sliding on all the group policies. But I know I've already given all my reasons and you've given all yours, so I think it's fine that we agree to disagree! (Although for the record I'm still only at about 95 percent on what I'll actually DO if I don't hear back from her/receive payment, so there's still a 5 percent chance I won't kick her out if she doesn't pay and will give her til the 5th before doing so. We'll see).

No, it's not exaggerated. If I don't nip in the bud the fact that she's had so many no shows in a row and just allow her to keep doing it whenever she feels like it, that's exactly what she'll do. So I absolutely had to tell her that is not acceptable. It is RUDE to say you will be somewhere and then not show up. And when we have hardworking people taking time out of their day to do a FREE presentation for our group, like was the case with our library and radio station tours, and then a family just can't be bothered to show up or call or go online to change their RSVP, that reflects poorly on us. And in the case of the library, if I had known that was going to happen, I would have rescheduled instead of showing up at all and wasting their time that day, not to mention my own. They were nice about it, but some places might not be so quick to want to reschedule our group if they felt like we showed up with a smaller group than they expected and wasted their time. I mean, inevitably someone cancels due to illness, and then you have this family of five people who just don't show up at all, we're not a huge group to begin with, I CANNOT have that happening...repeatedly no less. If it's in your power to do something nice for someone you should do it? You know what? I agree. You should have respect for someone who puts so much of their personal time into ensuring that you have an active group full of fun activities for you and your children. You should show up to events you say you're going to show up to and not just leave people hanging and waiting and wondering. You should pay the dues you commit to pay when you join instead of just not bothering. You should answer the emails that are sent to you instead of just ignoring them like you have selective hearing. Those things would be "nice." You would handle it differently if you were in my shoes. I get that. I think your "You're probably right" was a bit snarky, but whatever.

Agreed, on the first point! I planned to wait until I woke up on the morning of the second, and if I didn't have payment, that would be that. On the second point, I'm still undecided but leaning towards not because the other person asked me personally and gave me a reason, this girl just stated it in an rsvp with a flip "lol" and without any apparent reason other than just not bothering, and has been a problem with other group policies in the past, and I'm afraid it's a slippery slope with her in particular down the "give an inch, take a foot" path. I'm undecided because I really don't like kicking anyone out, it feels kinda "mean," which is why I sent so many reminder emails and gave so much notice and tried to prevent it from having to be an issue to begin with (and did accept a late payment from the person who had a request and a reason), but I don't really need to be taken advantage of either from someone who just can't be bothered, you know?

Well, the policy page says: "Dues must be received every March 1st to avoid being removed from the group." And the emails I sent out also stated that dues must be received on or before 3/1 to keep your membership active. So I think it was pretty clear that members could and would be removed if they didn't pay their dues on time. I just added something to the policy page which says: "If you are removed from the group for non-payment of dues, you will not be approved to rejoin until AFTER your dues are received. Once you've paid your dues, you may reapply to join, and at that point, your application will be re-approved. If you have extenuating circumstances and need to discuss an extension, you should discuss this with me in advance, BEFORE it reaches the point where you are removed from the group." Well, I already left a message on her answering machine at home saying this lol. She's probably so sick of me by now and feels like I lecture her (about her no shows and now paying on time), but sometimes I just feel like if I DON'T nip certain things in the bud, they'll just always be a problem, and for my group to run smoothly and pleasantly for all members involved (not to mention myself, and all the wonderful people who agree to do tours and presentations and so on for us), I can't have certain things happening.

lol, it's okay. I send out all the extra emails because I would feel horrible just kicking people out of the group without feeling like I did everything in my power first to make sure I gave them EVERY possible opportunity to pay on time first. I would never want them to go, "I didn't know! I didn't remember! I can't believe you did that!" or whatever. They know. They remember. That's why I sent her the extra email on top of the other four. If I kick her out, she won't be at the 3/5 event, I would presume (which, btw is a mom's night out event, not a regular field trip). If I don't kick her out and she doesn't show up for it, then I'm still back to either having to kick her out then or sending her more emails going, "I still need your payment." But you're right, either way, it's not a lot of extra work on top of what I'd have to do anyway and is mostly just irritation and the fact that I don't really want to send a message to her that my policies don't matter and that she can continue to do whatever she feels like regardless of what policies I try to set for the group.

I count it as anything you RSVP to and don't show up for without letting anybody know/changing your RSVP. The last three things she did it for were: 1) A tour of the library in which two librarians took time out of their day to show the kids around and how to use the computer card catalog and so on. 2) A class my husband was doing at his shop which required showing a video, hands on instruction, and required supplies (fortunately not very expensive ones; it was just a balloon animal class, but still, he set up for her four kids and she never came). 3) A tour of our local small radio station which they had asked for a head count for just to know how many people were coming. 4) Prior to that she also didn't show up for a kickball game at a park which wasn't as big a deal like you mention here, but, still, she said she was going to come and she didn't come. She could have changed her RSVP. Those were the most recent. It's just been an ongoing issue.

I'm going to do that from next year on. That's a good idea and will hopefully be enough incentive to save me some headache!

I wouldn't do that. It would make more work for me (I plan a LOT of events so it would mean a LOT of collecting, I already have enough to do), and make my members less likely to attend events at all, which would mean less activities for my kids and I, and we like activities lol. I mean events she specifically committed to. Our members can RSVP to any events they want, or not, as they see fit. They don't have to go to anything they don't want to go to. Of course we'd like to see at least decent turnout, we don't want a tour where 2 families show up lol. But as long as a handful show up and it's enough to go ahead with an event, great! She RSVP's that she's going to go to something, and then just doesn't show up, and doesn't go on the site to change her RSVP to a "no," doesn't call to say, "Hey, I won't be able to make it after all," just doesn't show up. Not all the time, but she's done it quite a few times now, and she's done it a couple of times even AFTER being talked to about it.

It is a pretty laid back, relaxed group, and the money isn't putting anybody out, other than the fact that I have to keep hunting down the people who didn't pay it as the deadline draws near, I have to deal with it if she doesn't show up on 3/5 yet again, I told people repeatedly they had to pay on time to avoid removal and if I just let her slide she knows she can get away with breaking the group policies whenever she feels like it, if she brings a check, I have to deposit it after I've already made all the other March deposits, etc. Right. I've got this list I'm maintaining of who paid, who still needs to, there's the reminders I'm sending out (and I keep notes on when I sent those out), keeping track of what responses I get, I'm keeping separate accounting for the group, I'm doing the bank deposits, and so on. If I removed her for non-payment, the note would say something like: You have been removed from the group for a combination of multiple no-shows and non-payment of dues. Should you wish to rejoin the group, you may do so AFTER your dues have been paid. Dues may be paid via paypal to (email address) or may be mailed to (address). Once paypal payment has been received or a check has cleared, you may reapply to join, and at that point, your application will be approved. However, please note that during this membership year, if you are a no-show at an event more than three times during the course of the year for any reason, your membership will immediately be terminated and there will not be a refund of your dues.

This is a good idea, too. Right now after explaining why it's important to honor your RSVP's and not be a "no show" (on our group's policy page), there is a line that says: "If a member continually cancels on events at the last minute or ends up being a "no show" too many times, they will be in danger of being removed from the group." But maybe I need to have a more specific policy about it and say, "If a member continually cancels on events at the last minute or ends up being a "no show" more than three times in a one year period, they will be removed from the group." No shows are my other pet peeve. :P It makes me crazy when you've got people who took time out of their day to do a presentation for the group and people you were expecting just don't show up for it. Or when you delay starting because you are trying to be nice and don't want anybody to miss out on anything, and they never intended to show and didn't even call or change their RSVP. I get that sometimes there's an emergency but some people just make a habit of it!

That's what I'm saying! Our group policy page, which everyone has to read and agree to to join, clearly states when dues need to be received by. I don't expect that to be right at the top of peoples' memory banks though, so I started sending out reminders on January 1st. I sent out a reminder 1/1, 1/16, 1/31, 2/15, and then another one to this particular woman on 2/23 saying I haven't heard from you yet and haven't received your payment, please be advised it is due in one week, please make arrangements to get it to me on or before 3/1- she never responded to ANY of them. Then today, the day before the dues are due, she RSVP'd for this thing on the 5th and said in her RSVP: "I'll come, that way I can pay my dues too... lol" Sigh. She's one of the ones that was a no show for that library tour I was so embarrassed about, when most people canceled within the last couple of days and only four families were left, and her (and one other mom) never showed up. When I called her to see if she was coming, because I had these librarians standing there waiting, she was like, "Oh, we don't feel well, so we're not going to come." And I had said, "Okay, well next time can you change your RSVP or call to let somebody know, because we were standing here waiting for you," and she was like, "oh, okay." At home, I sent out an email to the group to this effect, of honoring their RSVP's or changing them if they couldn't go, because in that particular case I would have rescheduled the tour, and then she went and did it AGAIN at the next event she signed up for. Then she signed up for a class at my husband's shop, he had supplies ready for X number of kids, we delayed starting to give everyone a chance to get there and not miss anything, and AGAIN she never showed up, with the four kids she had signed up. I emailed her and was like you can't keep doing this, I've talked to you about it and you did it a couple of times since etc etc- she never answered. Now she's signed up for this, but am I depending on her to show up, dues in hand? Not really. I'd rather she just pay her dues on time if she expects me to keep her in this group. It already says in our group policy that too many no shows may result in removal from the group. I've already said in my emails that non payment of dues on time can result in removal from group. Stuff like this is just really frustrating to me as a group organizer. ETA: You guys have given me something to think about for the future though, some incentive of having members get a discount for paying early, and/or having people have to pay a reinstatement fee plus dues if they get kicked out for non-payment and need to rejoin, or giving a small discount to continuing members or something, I'm going to put some thought into that stuff!

They're not, they're due at the end of March to Meetup. That's why I make them due to me by 3/1. But we've had problems year after year with members being late with dues (I dont mean this member in particular, shes new this year), so this year we've become stricter and I've been sending out the multiple reminders with the "to keep your membership active" wording. I don't know what else to do to be honest. And there's still always someone who can't be bothered to pay on time. It gets frustrating and time-consuming to have to keep chasing people down for their dues, I just feel like they should be able to be responsible for paying it on time, unless there are extenuating circumstances in which case they can certainly talk to me about it.

lol sure. I put a lot of time into planning a lot of field trips, educational tours, seasonal parties, park days/kickball games, occasional fun classes and clubs- it really is a great group overall, and very active! I love it but the administrative stuff can be not so fun sometimes! :P

This is true. I had one other member contact me and explain her oldest daughter was getting married and things were a bit tight. She said she would have her dues by the end of the month and would I be willing to take them then. If not she said she could reapply to join the group at a later time. In her case I told her the end of the month was fine. Everybody else paid on time. But a situation like this just wasn't acceptable to me.

Our dues are only $12 per year per family by the way lol

I'm not incurring expenses on her behalf between now and then. It's just that I've been telling everyone for MONTHS to pay by March 1st. They've had the option to mail them, to bring them to an event I was going to be at, to drop them at my house or to paypal them. They've had tons of notice and multiple reminders. I see it as her responsibility to pay it on time. She had ample notice, ample opportunity, ample reminders, and she didn't bother. now she wants to pay it late and I'm supposed to just wait (even though everyone else managed to pay on time and even though she's proven to be unreliable about showing up for events she RSVPs to, and even though she didn't discuss this with me and just put it in an RSVP and even though she lives within just a few minutes of us and could still get it to us on time)... It just bothers me!

She's had that option for months and hasn't utilized it. I really don't want to offer it now. At this point I feel it should be paypalled or dropped off. She lives within just a few minutes of my husband's shop, it's not a far drive. I feel like if it's not paid by tomorrow she should be removed with a note that she can reapply to join after she sends in or drops off dues just to get a point across. This is exactly why I've been sending out so many "reminders." she never even contacted me personally to ask if it was ok to pay it a bit late, but judging by how many no shows she's had it's just not, I would have rather she had just sent it in on time than have to depend on her to show up on the 5th and pay it, and then it's like I'm sending the message that my dues policy of paying by the 1st never really mattered.

My homeschool group's Meetup dues are due on or before tomorrow (3/1). I have been sending out periodic reminders to my group for a couple of months now, reminding people about it. Probably at least 5 different reminders, all letting people know "Remember, your dues must be paid on or before March 1st to keep your membership active blah blah blah." This one member (who has been a "no show" to events several times) still has not paid her dues or responded to any of those emails. I just saw that she RSVP'd to an event that is being held on March 5th and she commented in her RSVP that she will pay her dues at the same time. Uh. Huh? I very clearly stated over and over they are due on or before March 1st. Not on March 5th. So I just called her house and left a voicemail saying that and asking her to either paypal them or to stop by my house (a town away from her) or m husband's shop (same town she lives in) today or tomorrow and pay them as I've been emailing members for months now letting them know they are due by the 1st and that I would appreciate it if she would pay them on time, especially since by the 5th they will already by late and if she ends up canceling for some reason on the 5th, they'll be even later still. (Members did have the option to mail them in the past, too, but of course it's too late for that now). Am I being unreasonable in this?

That's funny! So they say it's too laid back in the early years, and too much in the later years? hehe. I haven't gotten that far yet, only on OM6 over here, but I always keep an eye on what people say about the later years, too, because I do plan to eventually use them! OM is SO gentle in the earliest school years which I personally like about it. But a lot of people then think they should start skipping grades and using higher grade levels instead. And then all of a sudden you get to the middle or higher elementary years and you wouldn't believe how much writing the kids are expected to do, and a lot of them just aren't ready for that much research or writing (and even the reading material I think they'd have gotten more out of if they'd just gone with the flow and waited that extra year or whatever, and then they could have enjoyed the sweet projects and activities offered back when they were just five or six). You can modify of course. But the cool thing is they give so many unique CHOICES of writing assignments, and they are based on what's been learned about in history, and then the literature is assigned based on that, too, so there's so much integration and opportunity for thought and discussion and so on. OM is never dry or textbookish and the syllabus lessons aren't long etc but it still gives a lot to think about (and read about and write about). Can't speak for 8th grade yet though, (I assume it'll still be that way when I get there!), interested to hear what people say!

Here's how we cleared up our daughter's eczema: http://nancextoo.livejournal.com/160161.html

I tried K last year with my son (we started in Sept, he was to turn 5 in early Nov). The only reason I did so was because the K curriculum I use is a very non-academic, Waldorf-inspired gentle one...story/drawing/craft/nature based etc and I really thought he'd like it. He didn't. Too wiggly, too disinterested. We ended up just dropping it, doing another informal year of pre-K (no curriculum or formal expectations, just play-based and interest-led and informal learning) and he learned tons that year. Gave K another try this year and it went much more smoothly. You don't have to report, he's young, I'd just follow his cues, interact with him, see how it goes, and I'm sure that you'll see he will learn tons over the next year or two anyway!