Small progress, not really. eta: taking out my problem and advice request. I keep reading it over and I got my answer. sorry for confusing anyone !

I had a similar experience last Sunday at church. The education director came up and verified how old the 3yo was and his birthday, and she happily told me that they are going to open a catechism type thing for 4-6 yo's at the same time as the older kid classes next year, and he'd be perfect, and she was hoping I would let them have my 3yo as part of the class (obviously she does not know my 3yo well, lol). The implication was it would be paid for, and I wouldn't need to pay the tuition, but it wasn't explicit. I awkwardly said "Oh thank you!...for telling us about it, I mean...and for the great idea...I mean, that is a great idea..." etc. So, take my advice with the grain of salt it deserves: I have set phrases for surprising situations I find myself in. "Oh wow, what an idea!" "How sweet!" "You don't say" and my much over-used "Awesome!" I also have a thing for cliches, but try not to slip down that slippery slope in public, as I am wont to beat a dead horse til the cows come home. I've actively been working on my conversation skills. I am cold calling (with reason, and I swear I'm not selling anything) at least 5 places a week to get comfortable talking to people I don't know, albeit on a set topic I am comfortable with. Improv or acting classes have helped others I know, and I'm planning on doing an improv class later this summer, when life calms down a bit. I do analyze my conversations, literally, in my journal. If it was an important conversation, I will write out as much as I remember, as close phrasing as I remember, then make notes to improve what I could have done. Obviously, can't do this over every conversation, I probably do this about once a month, and usually with a conversation with a client that I felt more-than-usually stilted in. I usually lay out the best thing I could have done to make the conversation better. (example: "Stop saying awesome in pauses") and review these notes before I make calls the next few days. PS I thought your answer was fine!

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

My tia's family is like this, the "family" labeled as her and her husband, their now-grown kids, kids' spouses, and grandkids. The live in each other's pockets, share credit cards ("Hey, I'm going to run and get some orange juice, can I borrow your card?" "Sure, here" Me: jaw drop), share everything, and the "main house" of my tia always has someone there. Always. My mom is allowed in the circle if she wants, and I'm an honorary member because when I was younger they babysat me a lot (cousins are about 13+ years older than me), but I'm not really part of the in-crowd. To me, it's weird as in I couldn't be a part of that, but not weird because that is just how they are, and have always been. As for filters, they don't have filters, but they all have very laughy cheery personalities so usually don't say anything mean to begin with. Or if they do, it is said laughingly. Your examples, translated: Wow, you are so fat! = Laugh, I wondered who finished the cake from last week! How could you afford to buy such an expensive item? = Wow, well we know who is treating at the next dinner! laugh Why is your child so meek and scared looking = I wish my kids had a mute button like that, laugh Not really nice, but I've never heard them offer an outright insult. And I guess because they are blood family, I've never taken offense to comments like this. Maybe I would if I had married into it instead, lol.

Same issue, both when big and not-so-big, pre-kid and post-kid. I just figured I was weird. lol. Glad to see that's not [necessarily] the case :)

Thank you, so so much. The light switch has flipped again, texting has resumed. We made some progress last night, in that it was the first time he acknowledged he's bipolar and actually needs medical help. But, still the texting. I caught him making plans for tonight, when confronted on it (iow, when I blew up, not usually my MO) he seemed to cow to me, but still hasn't officially cancelled. And even if he does, I don't want to monitor him every second and prevent him from going out later. It's hopeless, the change can't be from me. If anything, my catching him makes him more determined. He's going between super depressed and the manic giddy thing when texting (that's how I can tell literally within 15 minutes of him contacting someone). Sometimes he wants to stop, but sometimes he doesn't again. We had a week without this part, it was so much easier to deal with the rest of the symptoms. The 'relapse' or whatever you want to call it is much harder for me for some reason, even though I knew it was very much a possibility. He has a real psychologist appointment tomorrow, which obviously won't solve everything but hope it will start to right the ship; he doesn't want me to come, but I've already called ahead and gave my spiel. Have continued to talk with Stephen Ministry and pastor. School with kids has slowed, I've told them we are focusing on home ec and just cleaning the house when they are here. It's been the crunch time for the end-of-year performances, etc., so we haven't been in the house as much anyway. Have spoken with 2 oldest about mental illness and their dad. 8yo seemed to get it, 6yo asked if I had ever seen a real velociraptor. lol lol, I hope the next update has better news; if things stay much as they are, I probably won't update past a "no change" post. Thanks for sticking with me.

:grouphug: :grouphug: I'm sorry for all you are going through. I've started an enzyme treatment to help with adrenal support. No idea if its helping, only been doing this for a week and a half, but might be something you can look into for yourself.

Thank you! Much appreciated, much needed. The roller coaster is still...roller coaster-y. Nothing really new, though: same cartoons, different days.

Yes, we do arrangements for just about any instrument or combination, and can cover most genres (classical, jazz, pop, rock, hymn, and gospel). Sometimes you just don't have the original instruments available, so its nice to have other performance options available. :)

Hey guys, sorry for the radio silence. It's been kind of crazy, and can't believe it's already Friday. It is Friday, right? He's home, dr appt scheduled for today, family doctor for now just to get something going. Next psych appt was scheduled for next Wednesday, though the guy on the phone didn't sound sure it was an actual appointment and not just another intake appointment. But idk how you could need 3 intake appointments? I'm going to call them today to make sure its the earliest he can get in, and exactly what type of appointment it is. He's had a definite mind shift over the "dating" thing. He is totally uninterested in that now, it was like a light switch. Now the main problem seems to be just the chaos of family and the house that seems to be overwhelming him. He's depressed, but trying to just work through it and distract himself. He did take me out and is sincerely trying to do nice things for me to make up for..well, everything. He's got a long way to go on that front, but I am trying not to really expect much or feel the angry feelings until after he is stabilized more. Don't want to derail the progress he's making, and he is putting in a ton of effort into just staying calm and together. Not sure how I'm doing personally myself. Just focused on keeping it all together at this point, trying to keep the chaos down, good vibes up, and just everything running as smoothly as possible. Once he stabilizes I'll feel more comfortable letting myself breathe easier, but right now I know we're not really out of the woods yet, or could go back into them easily. Thanks for the support and prayers, it's made all the difference through this. <3

This is my experience as well. What I call a cutter spreader is whats in the picture, they are more curvy. What do other people call the regular dinner knives? I thought they were officially butter knives. I learn something new everyday! And I like the colors. If you do, too, and want them, then I am happy for your kitchen. :)

Well I got a text this morning saying he's sorry, he doesn't know what he's doing, he doesn't want to be apart from us, and he'll take meds if I want him to.

I did bring this up in our last conversation before he left. It was the first time he did not completely shut down. He said, though, that he he *really* didn't want to check himself into a place. So, there is a very small change, I'm grasping at straws for good signs. Yeah, I know I need to. Sigh. I need to talk to the older 2 together, and I'm still trying to decide how to approach it. Next psych visit hasn't been scheduled yet. He is still intending to go, but the apartment should be decided Wednesday at the latest, if he hasn't already signed. IDK what happened today. I don't think the friend knows about anything other than probably a vague "marital issues" thing. This friend works long hours the last I heard about him, idk how much they are seeing of each other. Not changing the locks yet. There's a chance his attitude toward our agreement could change, but I'm not thinking so. I will ask him for his house key the next time I see him, I forgot on Sunday. I know he doesn't have a copy of it, and I'm guessing he hasn't thought about it at all. He doesn't have a Hive Mind helping him out, after all :) I do like the idea of him having another option than 3 month lease or nothing, I think he needs probably 2-3 weeks at most before he knows which way he'll want to jump more permanently. Airbnb price when compared to the apartment is still a lot lot more. I don't think his cheap side will let him spend 2x the amount for half the time. I'm happy he's with a friend right now, maybe he'll go the couch surfing route instead for a bit so he doesn't have to commit. But even as I type that, I know he isn't envisioning a life of couch surfing, so I think he'll either sign for apartment or want to come home within the next week. And to add my two cents, around here airbnb is a lot of guest rooms in a lived-in house, or a casita in their backyard.

Yes, we can turn orchestra scores into piano pieces, and we also take recordings of piano pieces and write down exactly what was played for when there is no sheet music available. Sure!, I'm available if she ever has questions :)

Thank you, everyone, for the support. It has been a crazy 24 hours. Just unreal. DH packed and left tonight. He is still hemming and hawing, but says he thinks he needs to do this, because what if he's missing something? What if, what if, what if. He is going to stay at a friend's for a couple of days, until he hears from the apt. The room will be available either Tuesday or Wednesday, and he hasn't been officially approved yet. Progress, though: He says part of him is secretly hoping he's not approved for the apt, and it will be easier to stop this. He says logically, it doesn't make sense if he starts to think about it. But the emotions are too intense when he's feeling them so he isn't really in control. He says he is starting to think that maybe there are other options (to moving out). That maybe he could do something not as drastic. That maybe he'll just take the time away to work on his projects (doubtful, but nice that he is wavering a bit on the other reasons to do this). He said he's tried stalling out this impulse until it passes (but obviously not successful). I have been fairly calm and quiet, as he talks about his plans of "life on the outside", and if anything it's making him pause more. Not enough, but nothing else has worked, so why not. For the kids, the agreed upon story is that Dad is feeling overwhelmed and is going to be staying somewhere else for a while, so he can work on stuff. He will see them next weekend. He has agreed that he will not come to the house, as it could confuse the kids into thinking he is home for good. If he needs anything else, I'll bring it up to the city when I am up there. He is 40 minutes away so there is no excuse of "just popping by." Right now, I have no reason to think he will go against this. I have so many new worries that I need to figure out, but I am exhausted. Tomorrow it is just going to be the kids and me, and my focus is now on making it go well.

Well, he just left to go sign a lease on an apartment. So, that's that.

Shadow of His Wings, by Fr. Geron Goldmann (Catholic) The Deed of Paksenarrion, by Elizabeth Moon. (Fantasy)

Did call Tuesday to talk to the psychologist. They could neither confirm nor deny he was a patient, etc., but could take notes in case he was. Gave them my spiel. Now that I found out it was not the actual appointment and just an intake, I'm wondering if I talked to the psychologist or just someone else. They did say "Dr" when they answered the phone, but maybe I spoke to a different person. Didn't seem to change their mind on how to handle him, regardless. Will call again to see if I speak to the same person or what. Today is discussion with a lawyer.

Hi, thanks everyone for prayers and hugs. Got me through the night and this morning. So, he stayed. Seems he doesn't want to leave, he's still undecided, or if he wants to leave, he wants to figure out where he will stay and finances before moving. He is simply too confused. He got really irritated when I said I wouldn't do the business and our relationship would change if he left. He said he didn't know why I wanted to be enemies and that everything we've done together is fake if I punish him by changing our relationship, that I obviously don't really love him since I won't treat him the same. ??? So, not quite seeing reality the same as me. He did admit he doesn't feel like he's thinking clearly and that his emotions are all over the place, he is really confused. He said it was better when he was able to step back and just try to observe it, not feel it. He can see that something is wrong with the situation, and his actions aren't making it better. He says logically his course should be a,b,c, but he doesn't believe it would make him feel better than what he's currently doing. He's gone again, supposedly to work on a research project for business. Also, today he started an enzyme regimen that is supposed to help certain things, including stress and thought processing. Not that I'm holding my breath for a miracle cure, but if it calms him down even a little, that's a win. Even a placebo is a win at this point. Yesterday was the psychologist appt, BUT it ended up just being another intake appt, not him actually seeing someone. :cursing: It made him upset that he wasn't getting help when he thought he was, and apparently the woman he talked to "treated [him] like he was crazy and a horrible person." From what he understands, they will schedule him with an actual psychologist/therapist within the next 2 weeks. Okay, I think that's all I got. eta: trimmed and succinct'd

He's staying, at least for now. No physical threats or concerns, I see that some are worried, just want to reassure you guys. He is delusional, but more emotionally distraught right now than anything. He's living in a horrible echo chamber, just continually taking in negative thoughts, unfortunately many about our marriage. Still doesn't see that separation means things would change in our relationship (which ironically he doesn't want to change despite the whole negativity towards marriage). Right now he is calmer and joking around, so I'm just trying to get us to bed now. Jumped on to update so you didn't have to worry. will give a better account when I can tomorrow.

the kids are home but not asleep. not the best night for it. he must be driving slowly, not here yet.

DH called, I didn't know where he was. He said he can't do this anymore and wants to leave. He put in some offers on Craigslist. I told him okay, we can pack his bag tonight so he can go. He balked and said he doesn't have a place yet. I said he's made his decision, so we'll honor it right away. He'll be home in 15. Oh, God. eta: when he is here, should I even try to ratchet this down? He was super super irritated or anxious or whatever on the phone, so I gave in immediately and then stuck to it, he sounded kind of surprised with the balking. I don't want to push him away, but I feel like if he's made the decision then I should enforce the consequence immediately. Or maybe I'm being too emotional. I forget he's not all there, maybe I'm expecting too much of him.

I know headbands give some people a headache (me included), and they slide off some head shapes almost immediately. But, maybe try a couple different style of headbands and have her put them on herself, so she is in charge of the level of pain of doing her hair. Same with barrettes, she may be open to having them in if you teach her how to do it herself.

I do piano transcriptions so get to hear a lot of difficult pieces, in detail. She really did wonderfully, it's always a pleasure to hear a piece well played, and it is a beautiful piece. Congratulations on having such a talented and accomplished daughter!!

We got ours February 1. Like it a lot. But, when it was delivered, the inner stainless steel basket had rust. Yes, I'm serious, I know its rare for stainless steel but there it was. The appliance store had to order a new basket and replaced a couple days later. So just check that, idk if they got a bad batch from the basket manufacturer or what. Also I'm still getting used to the water turning off once you open the lid. This irritates me because I can't rinse out the soap cap after putting in the soap. I've adapted by letting the water run a couple minutes, then add the soap, then dip rinse the cap. But I've forgotten a few times to come back after starting the water and have run an empty washer :\ I think the design change comes end of 2018, thats what the sales guy told us.