Thank you for all the good ideas. Maybe we can go to the library this week with a list of these ideas and see what they have.

So my oldest is starting to really get the hang of reading but states that he doesn't like to and considers it boring, not fun and something to avoid. I've been trying to encourage him that reading can open up a whole new world to him, one where he can read his own game/ lego/ whatever instructions. One where he can write things, read signs, directions, maps and things that actually interest him. But of course the best practice would be reading an actual book. I want him to have that moment where he reads a book and gets drawn in and forgets that he's doing something he "has" to do. He has kind of a "hater" attitude towards books, but I'm not taking it too seriously because he's immature (see his age, LOL). He likes mechanical things, science-y stuff, adventure stuff... What are some good book recommendations that are not too baby-ish in content, but also not so difficult it would frustrate him as a beginner? I have the book "Honey for a child's heart" which is a book about book recommendations for children by age group but it still doesn't really tell me what would interest him without a lot of trial and error, which I may try anyway. Just thought I'd ask here.

LOL I found this?

One thing I noticed when a thing online pointed it out is that so many people these days make statements with the inflection of a question. I try to make myself not do that. The commentator's thought was that it's because we're all so insecure and scared of what people will think of our statements that we say them like questions.

I don't mean to sound dramatic. I know DH could get another job or even this job. It's just that we've been in a holding pattern for years wanting for things to change and trying and watching as there appears to be a relentless invisible force holding us down and back. But I always try to think of what I'm supposed to be learning, even if I don't want to. I'd rather just have some dang money. But my frame of mind is changing and whether or not things get better for us in monetary ways, a frame of mind that knows what's important is more valuable than a certain standard of living.

So DH had a job interview in August. I forget exactly what day but it was mid to late August. They said it would take them a while to choose a candidate. Late September they said, but oh they would let him know either way. How nice! :mellow: So here it is October 20. I was hoping to be able to update here and say that my DH got a manager position in his current company (that's what the interview was for), or at least have the closure to update y'all that they chose someone else. But they never got back to him and even ignored his inquiries. I guess it's within the realm of possibility that he still has a chance and they are just taking ridiculously long for a modest department manager position. I don't know why people bother to promise they will let you know either way and then never do but I'm letting myself move on at this point. It was going to be more money. Not a lot but it would put us closer to "normal" in income and maybe even take us out of the qualifying for food stamps category. So there's my update for now in the "Trying to improve our situation" saga. Homeschool expectations are less raging and despairing lately. Co-op one day a week is good for the kids and good for me getting to talk to other women out there in the shadows homeschooling too, Lol. The antidepressants are helping. I've also had a sort of perspective shift. I want to thank Margeth who's words about what it means to be poor have been a real encouragement. My Christian faith has helped too. Knowing that this life is not guaranteed to, or even meant to be easy and comfortable. And feeling actually glad that hardship, smashed dreams and discomforts give me a chance to be heroic in some small way. I will continue to try to get things to a better place. That's it for now.

We live in a majority African American community. I most definitely know non-white homeschoolers. Also we are white and homeschool, but are nowhere near what people consider financially comfortable. I think it has a lot to do with where you live. I think homeschool is getting more non-white every day too.

I stand by what I said in another post. Tibbie Dunbar for president. Tibbie 2020!

I've been really encouraged in my year-ish time here in my homeschooling mentality. I hope I can think of specific users to mention. But as I'm reading the past few posts about taking homeschooling more seriously, not excuse-making, striving for excellence etc. I want to say something and I'm not even sure I can articulate myself properly. I'm glad that people are encouraged by the words of the linked-to poster. But it discourages me if I take it personally. I can only speak from what I think is somewhat the other side of it. I came to this board last year with my oldest being 6. I am getting better now, thanks to a lot of you, but I was agonizing over the adequacy of my homeschooling endeavors. Still am sometimes but it's getting better. I am working with a set of serious limitations, probably the biggest of which is a household income closer to the poverty line than anyone I know trying to do something besides cruise-control survival mode. And we can philosophize about how money doesn't really matter, and it may not in theory, but it sure as heck affects every single thing in your life. Financial situation combined with weak, fractured, unsupportive extended families, messy, difficult personal histories, a cycle of poverty situation, living in ghetto area and bad school district in a tiny home, plus a "spirited" toddler (screaming, destruction)... not only leaves us with very limited choices in our life, but also puts us in a position where homeschooling looks like biting off more than we can chew to everyone. I am not flippant about educational neglect. I am not saying "We haven't done school in 6 months, but LOL whatever, they'll learn somehow." I don't even personally believe in the premise of unschool, that kids will naturally learn what they're supposed to. I believe some pressure needs to be applied. That said... we are not "rigorous" enough for some people, no doubt. We don't get much academics done sometimes and it worries me. What has encouraged me the most is when people here have said that I really can homeschool.

Also I personally have noticed athleisure as regular clothes is much MUCH more of a thing with upper middle class white women. Kinda like jogging strollers.

I don't think it's so awful. I just don't get it. My thought about it is that if the athleisure thing is about comfy stretchy clothes, there are comfy stretchy clothes out there that are cute and look like real clothes. Plus much of athleisure is not cheap. I am on a thrift store/ Walmart budget.

Haven't read all replies... Yes I have noticed that active wear is literally the new normal for any and every woman doing something besides going to a job that doesn't permit wearing active wear. It's one of those things, kinda like multi-level marketing, that is so common now that I can't say the rude things I'm thinking because every woman does it. But unlike MLMs, active wear at all times is not really hurting anyone. It doesn't make sense to me but whatever.

What you are describing is a normal period for me and I get one every 24 days on average. It gets worse in menopause? Oh the joys of being female. But yeah, there's usually one day on each period I can't really leave the house especially with kids so young they have to be in the public bathroom stall with me trying to deal with my feminine product.I'd rather just not be in public if at all possible.

I saw a show about the window cleaners of the Burj Khalifa (tallest structure in the world located in Dubai). Over 2,700 feet high. 163 stories high. Literally almost a half mile high. With winds. Just watching it made my stomach flip over. There's just no amount of money I'd do that for. I get woozy getting near the handrail of a 3 story shopping mall. Those guys are brave, and probably well paid.

I don't know if things used to be different or if this junior quasi exotic dancer thing affects every dance institution but.. My first and only dance experience was with dd doing an inexpensive non commital community center dance class. I had to sadly put my foot down when the teacher wanted the little girls to dance to Missy Elliott's "Lose Control" (you can google lyrics) complete with hip grinding.

I understand and I'm not looking to start an argument. How many children a person/couple can afford is just an interesting subject and people's perspectives can be quite varied on it. Maybe it's a sore subject for me since I'm already there... I'm already at a place where some of you would label dh and I irresponsible and there's no turning back. We try to improve our situation but it's not as easy as some think. Our kids are growing up with real legitimate limitations because of how things are for us (money etc). I just think there's a sort of disdain for the poor and always has been. And while I daily wish things could be better, that things like travel, museum memberships, and heck just living in a not ghetto neighborhood were in our reach, I still believe my kids can have a good life and that I'm not immoral for bringing them into the world.

In regards to some previous comments, I honestly wonder how many people in America would be qualified to reproduce if it was considered basic financial responsibility to be able to send each individual offspring through college debt free.

Because you're pregnant?

In ideal fantasy world I like the idea of having more. In real life I want to be done. Having a sweet, chunky, cuddly, precious baby really is a special thing. At the same time, there comes a point where I cannot seriously in any way say that I can do a good job with what I already have adding any more babies, considering our financial situation and my weaknesses. Plus I have the kind of vomiting in pregnancy where you get black eyes and sore abdominal muscles from the sheer hourly heaving up stomach bile. It's truly a taste of hell. Youngest is now 2 and 1/2. He is the biggest handful of a toddler so far. I am really looking forward to having kids who can all wipe their own butt, prepare their own simple meals, be home alone so I can run to the store, bathe themselves... oh and not destroy my house daily.

Grocery spending seems to be a touchy subject. It's something we're coy about sharing too, unless it's to brag how little we spend. I too have observed in some other places online that some ladies leave out the animals they raise for food etc when they report their impressively low spending on groceries.

Glad to see you all think it's reasonably realistic. It is for our house but I've seen people act appalled at those numbers like they're too high and I don't think they are.

"It's not in our budget" is mine. I am not totally against "can't afford it" because I think it's silly that we cant just say what we mean, but people live in different worlds. One person may say they can't afford groceries and diapers, and then someone else complains they can't afford a (completely cosmetic) bathroom renovation. I think there needs to be balance. I like to acknowledge the idea that there are both choices AND circumstances.

I wish it were really this simple. And at some point in my life I thought more this way. "You have no excuse not to be in a better situation." I am not advocating for a victim mentality however real life has delivered some complicated realities. And I want to add that some of the comments in this thread are part of the reason people use vague language to refer to their financial situation.

I think euphemisms are more likely to be used with certain subjects and money is one of them. Having or lacking money, and feeling the constant comparison to people around us that seems to be in the air of the culture we live in makes shame or tact a part of how we talk about money. I know I struggle with this because we are a "low income" family. And I sometimes say we're poor which causes some people to launch into a lecture about thinking about people in 3rd world countries (100% of the time delivered by someone who has/ makes significantly more money). I guess there's a lot of cultural baggage attached to some ways we talk about things.

I'm trying to figure this out myself. Glad I'm not the only one. I don't know why it is that anything to do with poop and butts brings so much joy to my kids.