Is there anything that could come out of doing a blog? Personal shopper is definitely an idea. Just not sure I have the time for that right now. Plus the thrift store magic is partly because there are no guarantees when you go in there. There could be nothing good one day, and then $2 J Crew wonderland the next week. I feel like I'd like to do something to more inspire and teach people how to shop if I can articulate it.

Spinoff... can I do something with this talent? Is this somehow a business opportunity? First of all I've been on my antidepressant for 2 days now. I seem to feel better already. Maybe placebo effect but hoping for the best. Thanks for your encouragement everyone! As I mentioned in the other thread I have been told that I am skilled and talented in putting outfits together, especially since half my clothes come from thrift stores and the other half from Walmart/ Target/ Old Navy clearance. One friend in particular tells me this all the time, and says she has no such ability while having a much broader budget. I don't have a ton of clothes, but what I do have I want to look nice and presentable without being uncomfortable. Comfortable enough for mom life without looking dumpy. Apparently the impressive part is that on any given day, my outfit cost me an average of $10. Sometimes less, but pretty much never more than $20 top and bottom combined. And the thing is, it takes no special effort as far as I can tell. When it's time to look for clothes I just see what I like and if I can afford it I get it. I don't really think about it. I'm not making some big effort, so that's why it feels like nothing to me. Especially since I am not that impressed with how I look anyway. Here is a recent example of a cardigan and jeans I found at thrift stores. These 2 items are the $6 outfit I mentioned in the other thread. The items were probably older season versions of these that I'm linking to but the brand and color the same, and yes they are used but in near perfect condition: https://www.us.purecollection.com/cashmere/cashmere_cardigan/crop_cashmere_cardigan_redberry_20.htm (I got the orangey color as shown on the model -- $4 at a thrift store, as you can see, sells for$149 new) http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/122007278400?lpid=82&chn=ps&var=421008592537&ul_noapp=true (Ann Taylor site not working right now but these are almost $90 new, I got them for $2 on a tag sale at a thrift store) Combined with a basic relaxed cotton tank I got on Target clearance like 7 years ago and these shoes I got from Payless on clearance that I already owned: http://www.payless.com/womens-nova-two-piece-sling/76115.html?dwvar_76115_color=gold And apparently I'm looking classy while having spent as much as a fast food value meal. So what do you think? Is there a way to do something with this?

You ladies are right, I am sorry about the white trash remark. Trying to be funny I guess, but it really is offensive and probably does show bad thinking on my part. I am reading "The Problem of Pain" right now by CS Lewis, and what I read last night talked about how as finite humans we are unable to see that when God is doing a painful work it can actually mean that he is loving us more, and how we so desire that he give us an easy comfortable path and that what we really want without knowing it is that he love us less. He says that pain puts us in the position where we have the opportunity to be heroic, in a way that comfort and ease simply does not. Easy to see, read, understand.... very hard to live. But God help me to get there.

Thanks so much, ladies. I really liked what Jenny said too. One odd aside to that is that according to my close friend, I am able to spend a total of $6 on an outfit from the thrift store and Walmart clearance and somehow make it look better than high income ladies who probably spend 10+ times the amount on clothes. I do have my white trash moments for sure, but I was just thinking someone might see me walking across a parking lot and think I'm doing well in life. It's weird because I don't have to try or think about it. I guess I do have some sort of talent even though it feels completely useless right now. But it also goes to show people can look one way and actually be something else (I guess I can look rich while being poor). I was thinking yesterday, as I often do actually, why can't we just get our act together? Why can't we just get an idea to improve things and follow the steps to carry it out? I have depression, migraines, feel a constant sense of being behind and ill-equipped for motherhood, household management and of course homeschool. Zero extended family support. DH works more than full time and is trying to support a wife who struggles a lot and be present for his children. He is 42 years old and time goes by so fast. Our kids are young but we're creeping up on old. Sometimes I want to just be ok with letting it go and accepting the tough pill to swallow of how things are, knowing it's for a purpose. Wanting so desperately for things to change but seeing the big picture.

Thanks for the input everyone. I just had to send DH to the store at 6 am for Excedrin. Woke up like this again. Ugh. I hope to get this figured out. Btw does anyone notice their hair affecting things? My hair is very thick and having it in a bun or ponytail seems to cause strain. Tempted to cut it off if it would help.

Interesting about the blood pressure meds. I was given Topamax (otherwise known as Dope-a-max because of it's side effects) and I couldn't stand it.

If you get migraines, what are your triggers and what seems to help? I'm really struggling lately. I wake up every day with head pain, nausea, sensitivity to light and sounds etc. I try to resist taking Advil and Tylenol constantly. I know it can't be good but I don't know what to do. Looking online there are so many potential causes and triggers, who knows where to start? A couple years ago I did see the dr about my migraines specifically. He just gave me a medication that gave me all kinds of messed up side effects (Topamax) and didn't really even help. I sometimes wonder if it's orthodontic related since my teeth are quite crowded and my jaw is not aligned properly but ortho work is considered cosmetic and would be out of pocket and there's just no way we could afford that. Plus what if it doesn't help? Anyway it's frustrating not having a clue what's causing it and feeling helpless in how to manage it.

I have observed that is true. People of all standards of living seem to deal with envy of those who seem better off. I sincerly hope I can see it for what it is and not get stuck in that mindset when and if things improve. I will admit though, (wrong as I'm sure it is) I tell myself that my concerns are much less frivilous then theirs, in just wanting to live in a safe neighborhood for example. Who wouldn't want that? Anyway, if anyone has any input on this specifically, how do I respond when friends who make several times the amount of money we do lament about things they wish were better? I start to feel rage-y but I know that's no good.

I do value what you have to say and I pray your revolting day is as not-bad as can be.

Sort of an aside but also related... If I could tell people something from someone who is really living it, class imobility is a real thing. I know God can and does change circumstances in the uphill-est of battles. I know people are clever enough to pull their bootstraps and make it out of poverty in the US. At the same time, the barriers are a real thing. The mental and emotional exhaustion of living like this is a real thing. It is depleting. Coming from an effed up childhood and upbringing is a real thing, not just an excuse, though I know it can be. God help me. Also, I wish people would be REAL about what is enough money to live on and what isn't. There's so many out there writing articles and advice and dancing around things that people like us, when we were young and stupid, think, Oh they say $29K is basically middle class. They say that's a ton compared to real poverty in the world. Well guess what? (I'm not mad at anyone here, just saying) This may be enough (for a family with children) to survive, but in a way I feel like we were tricked into thinking we could live anything near the American dream like this. Not even close. Home ownership is not a thing for us and I want to stop thinking about it because it just upsets me. My husband works where the jobs are, where the houses are priced in a different financial universe from us. We could live in an extremely rural area and have a 4 hour commute? Would you want to do that?

I really appreciate this. This really is what it comes down to it. I have to make my choice and own it. Get both feet on the boat and pray for the strength to do it every day.

Maize that's another thing that's hard. I hear people's stories about their temporary poverty on their way to something better. It's never been anything other than this for us and it's hard to be encouraged because there's currently no plans, no light at the end of the tunnel. I am married to a man that has every good quality but is just not a high earner. And I have 3 kids and am in the "too poor to work" category, especially since we have actual goals like homeschool. But thank you for the input, everyone. If I could find a way to help those less fortunate it might help. I'm just overwhelmed with what's on my plate and seeking that out would be work and I don't know where to start.

That's something I think of often. Wishing we could meet people in similar circumstances just so someone can "get it". I just have pretty much never met anyone in our income level who has similar values. It's weird and frustrating. For one thing, anyone I've ever met with a similar background to mine (abuse, neglect, drugs etc) is definitely not doing the Christian homeschool thing. Or the married thing. We're this weird isolated anomaly doing things that no one in similar circumstances is doing.

Don't quote, don't quote, don't quote. Thank you :) Envy and the resulting resentment and the resulting bitterness is pretty much a constant struggle for me. I want to be free from it. Maybe there's just no excuse. Maybe I just need to repent and ask for God to change me daily, each moment sometimes as it's trying to strangle me. And those are things I aim to do anyway. Here is the thing. My family (DH, me, kids) are "working class". My husband makes around $29K a year to support a family of 5. Because of overtime pay (he's paid hourly and does get time and a half when he works overtime) and our tax return, which we use strategically, on top of his normal pay, we are able to squeeze by. But it is not a lot. Do you know what it's like to support a family of 5 in a medium cost of living area on under $40K a year in the USA in 2016? I know we are blessed. God has always provided our needs. Yes, we are rich compared to people in Uganda. I'm talking about this specific context. Everyone in our group of friends and aquaintances is at least middle class. I don't know what their household incomes are but they all live in (own) homes that are 3+ times the size of ours, in safe, attractive neighborhoods. They either make significantly more money than us, and or are benefiting from there middle + class, in-tact family upbringing (inheriting homes and wealth etc) These are the people who homeschool and/ or have similar values to us. But I always feel out of place. They can go to the baby showers they're invited to a buy a gift without sweating grocery money. They can homeschool and cope with the daily stress and grind knowing there's never a vacation or trip far off to give them a change of scenery and refreshment while the only time we go somewhere overnight is when my toddler's asthma puts him in the hospital. They can nit pick their home's details like flooring and paint while we rent a place that has disgusting asthma/ allergy trigger carpet for my kids that the landlord won't allow us to change partly because he seems to want to keep this place in the crappiest possible condition to avoid tax increases on it (he came over recently to take pics for this exact purpose... to prove how crappy it is). Their kids can walk down the street or play outside without broken glass and trash covering everything. They have yards beigger than the size of a pickup truck. They have all kinds of space and playrooms the size of our entire house while we struggle to find places for things. They don't have registered sex offenders leering at them 2 doors down as they drive down the street. They don't have haggard, poverty-worn individuals drinking adult beverages outside and mad-dogging them. They are not the racial minority in their neighborhood (no matter what color you are, this is challenging) They are buddies with their neighboors because they're all alike. They don't share a driveway with 8 of their neighbors' cars like we do because they can afford space. SRESS. Did I mention stress? I am cranky because of many of the above mentioned things. It is hard not to be. And if I share these things with them I'm afraid it's just going to be awkward and a relationship-killer. There's more but I don't want to get too carried away. I will delete this soon. Just wanted some perspective and help if possible. I don't like feeling this way. We are trying hard to change things, but it's not as easy as the "boot strap" enthusiats make it sound. Believe me. Things may never change. I could die tomorrow. I don't want to spend my life bitter.

I think there's probably different breeds of investors. I have heard nearly conspiracy theory sounding things about powerful wealthy low-profile cooperations swooping up houses, wealthy foreign royalty etc but then you also have local "house flippers" who grab up affordable houses and renovate them out of affordability. It feels like being the little guy up against all these people who couldn't care less that modest income families want a place to raise their children. They just want to add to their wealth.

The whole investors snatching up houses thing makes me mad. I guess it works out nicely for them but here we are, DH and I are mid 30's and early 40's and there's no hope at this time of us ever owning a home... or living anywhere desirable for that matter the way rents have been going. It really sucks. We're just a family trying to have some place to live and we have to compete against individuals who are concerned with nothing but turning a profit and making it increasingly difficult for people like us to ever own a home.

Some interesting thoughts. Lots of angles I hadn't thought of like declining birthrate in many cultures. I personally know some families who had a handful of kids and ended up with zero grandchildren out of all their adult children. And certainly it's not unusual to see way more adults than children at extended family get-togethers. I wonder how common that used to be. Probably not very. I guess what I was asking is more when the comtemporary, modern idea of what we know as parenting came about. Granted, it wasn't called "parenting" 100 or 200 years ago, but I'm sure there were other terms for it. But like others have noted, elderly persons alive today will report giving little to no thought to their "parenting style" when their kids were small. And it is a massively huge deal today. There's some sort of disconnect going on it seems. Things aren't passed down anymore. I grew up in the 1980's/ 90's and I think my story is not that unusual. Learned basically nothing about household management, cooking, caring for a baby etc. Was told that sex had nothing to do with starting a family, and that basically pregnancy is the worst thing that can happen to you. Parenthood is some way far off abstract thing that you don't dare attempt until several mllion ducks are in a row. I do think the increased intentionality (arguably to the point of insanity at times) has been good in some ways and bad in others. I definitely agree that there was no such thing as a "golden age". There were some things better in the past and some things worse. Same for today except the pros and cons are just jumbled to fall into different places. And certainly abuse and neglect still exist despite a general culture of freaking out over doing things correctly with parenting.

I hear you. I have been in TX for 3 years and noticed summer is when I'm most depressed. It's just stupid hot. I'm not even going to things like the splash pad for the kids because even with shade and water spraying around, the heat is just so aggressive and merciless. Summer is the season to endure and suffer through around here. Come fall I will be willing to spend any amount of time outdoors.

Regarding what someone said about parenting advice being in the bible, I thought of that. Seems like it was much more "big picture" though,no? Seems like there was a shift in the 1960's ish where it's gotten increasingly neurotic and obsessive about every small detail. It does make sense that once parenthood became optional that it also became much less simple.

Obviously people have always been having children. But it seems like the notion of "parenting" as an endeavour, a calling, a philosophy etc, is kind of new. Am I wrong? It seems like generations past had kids, tried to keep them alive, taught them stuff etc but didn't think much about it.

I'm with whoever said crock pot. I guess that's pretty controversial but I never found it as life changing as some people claim. It's still work to get the food in there and make it come out good and not like gross mush. And besides there's nothing a crock pot can do that my dutch oven pot can't do.

I've never been to Sam's so I can only comment on Costco. To me Costco is worth it for the $4.99 rotisserie chickens alone. LOL. I never did the math of whether or not our basic $50/ year membership is cost effective. It just seems to me that it is. Certain things at Costco are a very good deal and certain things aren't. They're just bigger packages with the same price as regular grocery stores. But some stuff, like Kirkland Signiture (their house brand) bacon is by far the best deal anywhere. Plus their store brand is amazingly high quality and sometimes superior to name brands. Our family is not huge and we don't spend a ton of money there but I try to buy the items that really are a good value compared to other stores.

I love this one. It's been in lots of tv shows and movies. https://www.amazon.com/Kit-Cat-BC01-Classic-Black-Clock/dp/B0019IBD3U

I've posted about this subject before. We live 2 doors down from a registered sex offender. I drive by often and see him sitting in his garage (he's somewhat elderly) leering at me as I pass by with my kids. Neat, huh? But I have to say I'm with those who believe anyone can be a potential sex offender. I also believe it that most are never caught. I was molested as a young child many times by a person who was never caught or held legally accountable so my experience lines up with that.

Skin-on chicken thighs. Cheap, hard to overcook and tasty. 5 minutes of prep time. Preheat oven to 350. Stick them in a baking dish lined with tin foil. Pat the skin dry with paper towel for crispy skin. Sprinkle with salt and pepper (other stuff like garlic powder if you're feeling ambitious). Cook for about an hour. Broil for a couple minutes at the end (skin crispiness). Add bagged salad and/ or bread if you're into that.