I am asking because I have a resistant potty trainer. He's almost 3. He is my 3rd child so I've been through this before but the thought of pull-ups crossed my mind even though I haven't used them. I don't really see what the point is. So it's basically disposable underwear? That's hard for them to actually "pull up" and down anyway? Does it make the parent feel better that their child is not technically in diapers anymore even though they're not really potty trained? Is there something I'm not realizing that would make trying pull-ups a good idea for us?

Didn't read all replies. Just wanted to stop in because this resonates with me. First of all... if you are struggling, you still must have a decent sense of humor because the title "wwyd if you are kind of an a-hole" brought me some joy today. I'm sorry. That's funny. Second, it does sound like depression. Third, I understand the reluctance to go back on meds. I stayed off meds for a couple years and was proud of myself. I understand that meds are not the perfect solution that some people think they are. They are not without downsides. That said, there is no such thing as a life without compromise. As it is now, there are things in your life that you wish were different. On meds, there are things in your life you wish were different. It comes down to weighing the 2 sets of compromises and seeing which ones are worth living with more. And I don't know your beliefs but for me, remembering that we live in a fallen would (like the bible says) is actually quite encouraging when the despair kicks in about why things are so unlike they are supposed to be.

I've recently decided that taking a short nap daily is better than the cranky attempts to be productive. The refreshed burst of energy I feel after a good little nap probably allows me to be twice as productive than if I trudged through the tiredness anyway.

I honestly don't things could have turned out much differently than what I wanted/ how I thought they would. In some ways it's been gloriously better, in others it's been a painful death-like process. My early 20's? Ok let's take age 20. I was an IV drug user. So there's that. But I did have ambitions and dreams and plans. Deep down I wanted to get married and have kids (I believe) but it all sounded so boring and stifling. My main aim in life was to be in a successful rock n roll band. Meaning that I would get paid to do it, even if it wasn't a lot, be able to express myself and have lots of fans love me. I was actually in 2 different bands for a couple years. Yes, my life was pretty messy with drugs, train-wreck relationships, semi-homelessness etc. but ultimately there where some things I had to let go of just to begin to harness the ability to live a somewhat healthy life. With that came the admitting that marriage was something I actually wanted as opposed to a string of messy relationships. Having babies was something I became convinced was an ok thing to be open to and then because of good fertility I was thrown into that before I was even sure what to think. Now that I'm in this life I feel the weight of the meaning of what I'm doing as something very important, and I never would have thought that before. So now I'm trying to make the best choices I can. I never thought I would end up on government assistance in my late 30's, for example, so this current life has been very humbling. But I have also been given great gifts that I didn't even know were gifts at first. Not to mention the fact that I'm not dead, in jail, HIV positive or a hooker which were honestly a good possibility on my former path.

My almost 3 yo is a little larger than yours (and incidentally the same weight as his very thin 6 yo sister). I would never restrict his eating with the exception of sugar and refined carbs. He is allowed to eat endless amounts of real food, which doesn't end up being much anyway. The kid is just dense. He doesn't look fat at all. I've seen truly overweight 3 year olds and my bet is sugar consumption. You see obese looking toddlers in poor families, I'm sorry to say, bc soda, cookies, hostess etc is cheap and easy. But "high bmi" is not necessarily a big deal at all. I would never limit real food at that age. Only sugar and refined carbs. And I give my kids full-fat everything (butter, yogurt, milk etc).

Yeah you know, I follow a homeschool mom on instagram. Read her blog for a long time. One day recently she casually mentioned that she has a (I assume) paid homeschool assistant. This assistant just so happens to have appeared in zero of the many posted photos of homeschool days. Nothing wrong with it. Sure wish I had the means to do something like that but it's a good reality check. Here I was comparing myself to her thinking our circumstances were similar. And they're definitely not.

Don't want to hijack the thread. I'll just say yes, the signature lines are intimidating. Lol. Yes, I need to find some of the old threads where I detailed what our homeschool is like and you all encouraged me. Yes, I have been more than moderately depressed and anxious most of my life, am currently medicated, though it's not perfect and it bothers me to think my kids education will have to suffer because of my shortcomings. Anyway, I am the wrong person to ask as to whether I'm too hard on myself. I don't think I am. Other people think I am but I think they're just trying to appease me. Off to dig up the old threads of encouragement. And some of Hunter's stuff. That usually leaves me pretty encouraged.

The other thread is stressing me out. I am pretty confident many of you would disapprove of our level of homeschool efforts. I struggle because I feel I don't have what it takes to give the kids what they need and I live in a public school district that no one I know and respect locally would ever send their child to. And for the record I'm not comfortable at all with it either, but can't afford private and got berated by the local charter school administrator when I tried to apply there (there's a thread on here when it happened). Feeling pretty hopeless right now.

When my youngest was 2 weeks old I went to Walmart with all kids and DH. The cashier asked how old the baby was and I told her. She proceeded to scold me about taking a baby out at that age and said I had no business taking him out before 6 weeks. I had to try not to cry in my postpartum haze. I had such a restless feeling in those early days. Maybe you do too, but it passes! Healing and resting is so important. BlsdMama, I feel like a wimp compared to some of you others with 2 or 3 times the number of kids and closer age spacing, but it is good to hear that even moms of eleven acknowledge how hard it is to do regular everyday stuff with diaper/ carseat age kids in tow. These days I'm enjoying the somewhat independent-ness of oldest (8), but there's a ways to go. I guess I'm going to take whatever validation I can get that I need a nap pretty much every day (when 2 yo naps).

Sure, it can go both ways. Someone with a loving, caring, stable childhood can grow up to be in and out of jail/ making poor choices (and I'll admit it's harder to sympathize with individuals like this) etc. and to some extent it's true that parents can't guarantee or doom the possibility a well-adjusted adult no matter what they do. But it's obvious common sense and there's even a pile of studies (and really, you can see it with your own eyeballs) that consistently show for the most part it's a heck of a lot easier to be on a good or bad path in life depending on the love, care and stability you did or didn't get as a kid. Personally, I don't pat myself on the back for being strong and smart and resilient even though I was threatened into sex acts as a kindergartner, and sat at the lunch tables in elementary being made fun of for having no food to eat. And by the way, I give specific examples because people have some odd ideas of what abuse is. I'm not even saying that word, I'm just saying what happened is not good or normal or a way to give a kid a chance at a good path in life. When people say they went through abuse or tragedy, you can't know for sure what they mean. Using discretion about who ad what you tell is a good thing, but hiding it completely is not necessarily heroic. Anyway, think I'm weird or not, but I give the credit to God that I am a somewhat normal, functioning member of society today because if everything played itself out I would probably be dead, in jail, a stripper etc. and that's the path I was on in my early adult years. Lastly, even if you think your small gestures of help to a seriously troubled kid are too small to make a difference, reconsider that. Even your kind words can be some of the only kind words they hear, and your kind gestures can add up if other kind people are put in their path.

Don't quote. IMO the truth is somewhere in the middle of "People from traumatic, abusive, neglectful backgrounds have zero control over the terrible paths they are on now" and "Shut up, you have no excuse, you weren't fed and were raped daily since you were a toddler but I don't care, you need to be successful in life". I think both those views taken to the extreme are not good or helpful. I don't want to "advertise" my "bad childhood" but if you don't know what it's like to be raised by a (single, so no other set of potentially responsible eyes in the home) parent who gives their sleazy, drug using significant-other money for substances instead of having actual food in the home, (for example because I experienced this among lots of other stuff) than you have no idea what it's like to be a learning growing child for whom that is normal, and how it affects everything in your mind and heart. Victimization is a real thing. And I am a Christian who believes there is such a thing as change and healing, but bad choices have bad consequences and that is a REAL THING in a person's life. On the other hand, it's not helpful to tell someone they are basically screwed because of the hand they've been dealt. Where is the hope in that?

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Faded-Glory-Women-s-Denim-Jegging/50930869 I have these in the black. I recommend solid colors, not the weird pre-faded look.

This is not me. It's a picture from my Pinterest. But this outfit is a good example of something I would wear, and I'm a SAHM. I don't own hoodies, or baseball caps etc. I try to look cute or I get depressed. I find good brands at thrift stores (right now I'm wearing a Banana Republic cardigan I got for around $5) together with basic bottoms from Walmart (their bottoms are always better than their tops). Walmart has good basic jeggings etc.

Dawn, I have read Heaven by R. Alcorn. Be aware, it's over 500 pages. Personally that book is very important to me and really helped my faith. Randy Alcorn is defiantly not a universalist though (http://www.epm.org/blog/2013/May/22/universalism)

*

Sorry to be a deleter... Just feeling anxious about how I come across and wanting to figure this out more privately.

Just wanted to say :iagree: Maybe some think it's just being nit-picky about words, but I would not describe myself as religious either. For me it's more about where my heart is, not the motions I do or don't go through.

Thanks, bud. I changed it to "straight laced" because that's the best term I can think of. It will probably offend someone though so we'll see. I guess I want to ask if there are people out there who are setting more limits than their parents did. Because I meet/ see online, a lot of people who say they don't set as many limits as their parents and that seems to be the norm. In *MY* case the lack of limit setting involved some raunchy life choices, but I can't make sweeping assumptions. Is this just a bad conversation to have started? LOL.

Did you read my last post? I am sorry to be offensive. I didn't mean it that way but it was poor word choices. One of the people closest to me who inspired this question has made some of the worst debauchery is politically conservative. So I guess I should have drank more coffee before I posted.

Yes, it was poor word choice. The words liberal and conservative are very emotionally charged words, aren't they? I didn't know how else to explain it. Someone can suggest better terms if they understand what I am saying. If not, I may delete because I don't want to offend everyone.

I think what I mean to say is not necessarily liberal in the sense of politics. I mean more parents who have drug, criminal, behavior in general issues. Not like hippie parents and you're Alex P.Keaton. But I guess that to would interest me. Also I think people with parents who brought then up exposed to drug, neglect, poor adult choices etc are out there. But for some reason they end up the kind of person you don't find on a homeschool message board. Or in church usually.

It's just so foreign to me, Dawn. I was watching R rated, sex scene, horror movies in early elementary school. My kids are definitely not doing that.

(Edited to replace political type words) I'm just wondering. Because I've seen many people post over time about living/ believing differently, namely less strict than their parents. I almost never meet anyone who is similar to me in that I ended up more "straight laced"/ stricter than my previous generations. Granted I am a former drug addict who did lots of "premarital" stuff. But that's kind of how I was raised. I'm a Christian now, which I take seriously. And by the way my family members think I'm weird because of it (reading the bible is extreme etc)

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/13062/cheeseburger-soup-i/ This is my favorite soup to make right now. I double the beef, hold the potatoes, increase the veg amounts and sub half the cheddar for Velveeta to make it smoother.

Lol. Well... She said she can't date men her age because they're too gross and haven't aged as well as her. So she probably wouldn't get involved with other seniors at a home. She likes them younger.