I've used ProgressivePhonics.com as my main thing. I bought 100 EZ lessons at a used book sale and gave it away because I knew it would be far, far too painful for me to teach from. As for readiness, once he seems interested in learning, I'd play games with letters and simple words. Like, when playing I Spy, include things like "something that starts with /p/" or "the letter that makes the /m/ sound." When he shows that he knows the letters and sounds and has strong understanding, if he has interest, I'd point out words in life and play things like "the secret word game," which is where I write a simple word and he uses clues (sounding it out) to guess the word. For some kids this is easy off the bat, but other kids may know their letters and sounds for years before they can do this easily. If he's not picking it up quickly, I'd set that game aside for several months unless it is requested. Try it every few months and see when it starts to click. Once they can sound out basic words and know that they just sounded out, everything is much easier, and that's when I'd start offering formal lessons. I don't require lessons until age 6, just offer occasionally and try to make time if requested.

I think discovery method is one of those trendy terms that gets slapped on things and so abused. To my mind, using a discovery method means allowing students to try different things to see what works best and what doesn't work at all, as well as things in between. It starts with itty bitty babies as they learn to grab a toy then later learn to feed themselves. It is inefficient and often messy, especially then, but it's necessary. As kids' worlds get bigger, a combination becomes important. I tell them directly that wild animals can be dangerous; I don't let them discover it. We discover that dogs are soft and furry, but I teach them that bears are, too, and that having hair is one part of being a mammal. When they are learning how to cook, we directly go over some things, but I intentionally let them discover others. They've tried lots of ways to crack eggs, to mix ingredients, and to measure carefully, but we drilled how to properly turn on the gas stove without poisoning or blowing up the family. We've discussed and experimented with various substitutions. It's horribly messy and not an efficient way to put food in the table short term, but I have too many friends (especially a few years back. Most seem to be learning more as they gain this experience) who simply stop cooking in the middle of a recipe and run to the store or throw everything out because they run out of one ingredient and have no idea what to do if they can't follow the exact written directions. They haven't discovered anything about cooking, and their explicit instruction didn't include every situation they run into. This is rambling and perhaps doesn't make sense, but I think some methods are much better at teaching something quickly and others are better at teaching for long term success and understanding. In a standard educational situation, we must make choices about which things merit the extra time needed to allow for discover and which are better taught directly. Ideally there should be lots of opportunities to get messy with ideas when very small because it builds a pattern of thinking and lets one go forth with an outlook that assumes that things are understandable, not some opaque mystery that must simply be accepted and memorized.

My understanding based on observation and the stuff I've read is that some people definitely get better returns on their investments in studying different areas, but pretty much anyone can learn more than they know now. Some people have an aptitude for math or music or whatever, and they can advance more easily than many others. That doesn't mean that others can't learn or shouldn't be encouraged to keep trying, but I think it's something that each person considers as they make choices. I am terrible at drawing. I have improved some with a bit of work, and I know I could improve more with more work. I've known this for years, but it hasn't been important for me to be able to draw, so I have chosen not to use my time that way. I think I have a lower than average aptitude for drawing, but if I had a goal that needed decent sketching ability to meet, I'd put in that time, and if I had a greater aptitude and so could get a quicker/greater return on my investment, I likely would even without a specific need. As it is, I don't feel it's worth my time right now and I'm ok with that. I also suspect that if I threw myself into it, I'd find that the law of diminishing returns applied. I'd get to be decent with a reasonable amount of work, but becoming really good would take most of my time and concentration, and there's just not enough time in the world to make me Van Gogh. I think it's probably like that in math. Most people can get to basic calculations with decent teaching and a bit of effort, but this will be extremely easy for some and extremely difficult for a few. As the level and complexity increases, the percentage of people for whom it comes easily decreases. To get to the highest levels requires a fair investment for anyone, but it requires a lot more investment for some than others. For most people, that investment just wouldn't be worth it. For a few or perhaps for many, there probably isn't time in the world to get there. A highly motivated student with a goal should never be discouraged by any talk of aptitude, but it's reasonable for a person who doesn't need higher math to choose not to put in the work needed to get there. There may well be a number of students for whom the work needed to get to an average standard is just too much to make sense unless they are motivated to do it. I think we should give every student excellent instruction starting in the early years (a bit of a dream), but we shouldn't scoff at those who make reasonable decisions to stop their studies before Calculus, for example, or even Algebra. Time and attention are limited resources, and applying them wisely should be encouraged. (This may be very rambling; I'm sorry. I'm suffering from a bit of a deficit of attention at the moment)

Haha, this is true. We never got any if the "stuff" from last year and I didn't really try.

Do y'all think it will be worth doing Math Kangaroo this year? This past spring my daughter rushed through in 25 minutes and her score reflected that. I wasn't even in the room to keep from possibly leading her answers, bit of we do it again, I may need to be there to be a reminder that she should focus. My son will also be ready for the first time, and he's been looking forward to it.

I've changed in many ways but the only time it felt to me like a big change was from creationism to accepting evolution. Arguments from the other side did little to persuade me. What caused me to change was seeing the flaws in my own side/position. Other people would make arguments that couldn't possibly be true, even though I agreed with the conclusion they were trying to reach.

Right now, my list includes: The Birchbark House My Side of the Mountain The Adventures of a South Pole Pig In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson Where the Mountain Meets the Moon That would get us through May. If we do something in the summer (schools get out on mid May here, usually) it will likely be a different format. After a few months I'll start thinking about next year. For now, I just need to preread/reread these, figure out which month to pair then with, and think of projects that are both worth doing and fun to share in a Zoom meeting.

I find the whole "grammar stage, logic stage" thing the least useful part of "classical" homeschooling. I'm sure it can be done well and that many here so it well, but I've seen kids become obnoxious little whippersnappers because they've been given a bunch of facts that they like to spout off to wow the adults around them, but they haven't been given the larger picture of what those facts mean, how to use them, or how hard the rest of the puzzle is. It's easy, to take a real example I've seen, to say E=Mc squared, and even to know what those letters stand for, but if learning that equation is the achievement that means you "know Einstein" rather than the spark that makes you want to learn more, it's worse than wasted time. Again, that's not the inevitable outcome of the grammar stage, but it's a risk that goes along with teaching facts in isolation, especially facts the kid isn't expected to be able to understand yet. Also, my kids have been asking why since before they could talk, and they've generally been able to understand and apply the explanations given. I'd rather teach them hows and whys that they can understand than a bunch of whats that they can't yet understand. If I were to divide learning into stages, I'd say that first children should be taught to observe and come up with lots of questions. Then, they should learn to work hard to find answers. Next, they should learn to communicate their findings with others and be challenged on the conclusions that they draw. After that, they should know enough to be able to make even better observations, ask even better questions, and learn more about the answers which they can now communicate even better. No ages are attached to this, of course, and it doesn't ever end.

Thank you all for your suggestions. I love those lists, and even though I have to whittle it to 5 books for the club, my kids will benefit from many more.

Please help me think of books for the spring semester of our book club. The kids involved are mostly ages 6-8, with a few a little older and some younger siblings taking part. We read one book a month, and they do a project that ties in that they share. Here's what I'm looking for: 1. Good as family read alouds but can be read in about 10-12 sessions. The longest book we're reading is Unusual Chickens, which is pushing it a bit 2. Diverse. Our area is diverse and so is our membership. I want books that reflect this. 3. Variety. older and newer books, different genres and styles, different topics. 4. Discussable but not controversial. Different religions, family makeups, political beliefs, etc can be in the background, but I don't think this is the right forum for those to be front and center. 5. Plenty of copies in our local library, but it's a good one and I'll check on that. We've done or are doing Henry Huggins, Unusual Chickens for the Exceptional Poultry Farmer, Zoey and Sassafras, From The Mixed up Files, and Odd and the Frost Giants. We rejected Mathilda because one mom was worried about how the parents speak to the children, and I agreed because I was concerned about giving a group of home schooled kids such a very negative view of school. I'll probably do The Birchbark House in the spring. When I look for newer books at in different cultures, I'm finding more books with female protagonists, and I'd like to keep that balanced as much as possible.

I'm imagining a large bathroom that has an area with three sinks that you enter from the hall, then four doors off it, two leading to toilets and two to tubs or showers. If configured carefully, maybe walls could later be rearranged to separate the whole thing into 2 bathrooms, one entered from the hall and one from a bedroom. That would feel less weird than stalls, and boy/girl shouldn't matter much, plus easier for resale later.

In my house that would have meant curling up into a ball with her arms over her head, then crying for ages in truly deep anguish if we had forced the comb through her hair anyway. It would have honestly hurt the relationship for at least a week. Ask me how I know and why we cut her hair!

For us, yes. Silliness is key! My older two are both intense, fairly serious children, but silliness helps make things less personal. Another key is practicing it when stakes are low. Like, when I was trying to get my somewhat dishonest child to 'fess up, I actually encouraged telling untruths (jokes, we called them) quickly followed up with a purple elephant warning. Since they got used to doing it and not being punished or viewed badly or whatever it was they were scared would happen, they were comfortable doing it when it mattered. So if your code phrase was "Was that the doorbell?" to mean "Go take a moment and calm down, please!" explain its real purpose, but also allow it to be used as kind of a game, where they can say it and if you don't remember you are supposed to go look out the peephole (and calm down if needed) you "lose." In our house this would mean the grown up who lost would look cartoonishly dejected for a few seconds, then go on with their day. The whole thing hinges on you letting them get away with getting out of a few seconds of math or Russian practice or whatever. They will likely abuse it a few times at least, and you still have to get up and do your cool down routine of walking to the door and looking out the peephole. If it gets ridiculous, have a chat after the fact about how important it is for mom to learn to calm down and not yell, and if they abuse the system that makes it harder which hurts the whole family. If this were just a tiny problem, this solution would be way out of proportion, and it might only work in our family because we are weird, but it seems like this is a big enough deal to you that you want to try something.

I would seriously give the kids a code sentence that means "back off, mom, and take time for yourself to calm down." I would take it very seriously, at least for a certain period of time, to show them that they can trust me to follow through. Like, we'd make a game of saying it to each other, then the person who gets it said to them needs to go into another room at least before coming back. All done with friendly smiles and giggles as much as possible. Later, if they used it when I didn't really need to calm down, I'd just close my eyes and take a deep breath, then continue. This would not only give you chance to calm down, it would help you know that you were breaking that cycle where you do what your parents did. Instead, you are actively teaching your children to handle things differently than their grandmother ever would have.

Depending on the younger and the room set up, it might be possible with a clip-on light and/or some sort of partition. We've done that sort of thing with a room sharing situation, but I totally get that kids are different and sleep is precious! Could she read for a few minutes in your bed, then switch to hers for sleep? Just trying to think of something small but valuable to a kid. I really understand trying hard not to repeat the problems of our parents. I had pretty good parents in many ways, but they were lousy at some things. There were no arguments in our house, just lots of anger, silence, and unrelated things being forbidden. I've had to work hard to talk things through with my husband, addressing small annoyances so they don't build into this huge elephant in the room. Since you are mindful of this and trying to address it, my hunch is you will do well, though it may remain an issue that comes back as you, your husband, and your children hit new life stages.

Can you use later bedtime as an incentive that could be taken away? Like, she's old enough to be allowed to have 25-45 minutes of quiet reading time after being put to bed, but if she has a bad attitude, she must need more rest and so lights out will be immediate.

Yeah, like, I'd probably talk with the kid in question during a relaxed time about the "look, a squirrel" stereotype and how true it can be. Then, we'd talk about how other things can act like squirrels, like a rumbly tummy or some music from outside. Sometimes we need to ignore distractions, sometimes we need to get rid of them. We'd talk about how we sometimes need a snack break, sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that lunch is in five minutes and we can wait. Sometimes we can shut out the party happening next door, sometimes we need head phones, and sometimes we just need to try again when it's quieter. So, then, when the child is doing a lesson and getting antsy, I might say "Attack of the squirrels! Should we go hunting or close the blinds?" Eventually, we'd get to the point where I could just say "squirrel!" and that would be enough of a prompt to buckle down or address the issue. One issue with this is occasionally the kids come out with a code word from years ago that I've forgotten about. It takes a minute!

I've had many similar struggles with my eight year old daughter and almost seven year old son. In fact, she got a hair cut at the beginning of summer that wasn't her choice, but she did admit afterwards that it helped. For that, my husband was trying to convince her into a pixie cut, which he finds both adorable and sensible, but she found horrifying. I stood up for her/with her and kept it shoulder length. We don't do "play parents off each other" stuff, but letting her watch that play out and be part of it helped her relate better to us both. She saw her dad listen to reason and saw me take her side. There was also discussion of how, if she still refused to brush it adequately, we would have to go with a pixie cut. One trick that has helped me a ton is using code words. We don't do it for everything because I can't keep track of all that, but for big things. Like one child had trouble a few years back telling a story and then not wanting to admit it was a lie. They might reflexively say "yes I brushed my teeth" and immediately regret lying, but feel stuck. I told them they could say "Look out! There's a purple elephant behind you!" to let me know that what they said was true in purple elephant land, not our world, and then they could just tell me what was happening in our world. So, I might say to my kids, "look, learning this is important, but not as important as you learning to focus. What's a phrase I could say that would help you remember what is important?" It helps for the phrase to be silly and somewhat unrelated because it short circuits that reflexive defensiveness that all people usually have. I'd also tell them that I'm still learning to control my temper, and while teaching them is important, more important is for me to control my temper. I'd ask them to tell me a secret code phrase, like "would you like a cup of tea and a cracker?" when it looks like I need a few minutes to calm down. Then, we'd try to honor that together.

I got a fairly low score but I was surprised by how high the percentage was. Then I looked here and realized how many folks were getting 0. I said I'd go on an nearly-empty plane or eat in an empty restaurant, but I probably wouldn't really do either of those things because, as someone above pointed out, I wouldn't know how full the plane or restaurant was going to get.

I saw this and was happy, though a large part of me wondered whether she'd been convinced by the science or by school districts cutting off the money flow.

With a toddler whose nap is important but sometimes irregular and who loves finding scissors, markers, and paint, it's very hard to get in a solid groove. I try to view this as having a benefit in that I'm constantly evaluating what the most important goals are each day and working to meet those goals. I'm looking forward to a bit more stability in future years. I imagine I will do some minor tweaks on a weekly basis and larger ones monthly, at least in the elementary years. Kids learn in such unexpected fits and starts that I can't imagine being able to plan out further than that.

I think I may have used parasite while I was pregnant, but never in isolation. More like, when a close friend asked how I was doing and the answer was "not great, but not terrible," I might say something like "looking forward to when this sweet little parasite is in my arms." I may have just thought that and not said it, but either way, it wouldn't have been broadcast far and wide. Something said to a close friend who knows you is very different to putting it out on Facebook or just chatting with aquaintences, in my mind. If certain people used "crotch goblin" directly to me when their kids were acting up, I'd giggle. If someone used it in my preference without knowing me and knowing that I love their kids, I'd probably lose a little respect for them.

I do a variety. Some audio books in the car, some where I read in a desk chair while kids color (or not) at the coffee table, some in bedrooms rotating whose room. The child whose room it is gets to cuddle closest. If a specific child is the primary target, like when I bring a picture book in to make the lesson more accessable to the four year old, that child gets invited to cuddle close.

I'm firmly in "either a rash guard or racer back top" for myself because my kids still climb all over me and I want to be able to enjoy that, not worry they are going to accidentally undress me. I did wear a bikini while pregnant with one and two because that let my belly fit.

Was this a text message? Otherwise I can't imagine why they didn't use complete sentences. The amount of time saved by their brevity is going to be lost many times over in answering phone calls from confused patients. I have no good guess. My kids' pediatrician offers the flu shot to parents but only accepts cash with exact change for them.