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SanDiegoMom in VA

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About SanDiegoMom in VA

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    Sandiegomom in VA

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    Managing three kids with a husband in the military
    Running, swimming, biking and playing the piano when I have a chance!

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    Crazy Lady

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  1. I've got one as well -- mine is 13, so sweet, wants to do well in school and doesn't actually do any of this on purpose.... but everything takes soooooo long. Getting a drink of water, getting a pencil, getting distracted between each math problem. I've never actually seen her work FAST. My solution if it gets really bad is to make her do all the work she couldn't get to during the day AFTER she gets home from ballet at 9 pm. She hates that, so for a week she will try harder, and then lapse back into bad habits.
  2. My daughter (adhd) had a pretty terrible middle school experience -- not as severe a shut down as your son but pretty close. She refused to go to school some days, she refused to do homework, and she spent hours in her room on screens. She managed to find screens even when we took them away from her (old kindle with a tiny browser -- she managed to get netflix on it!) . In retrospect (at the time we had no idea what was going on) she was severely anxious and depressed . Her EF was overloaded, it made her anxious all the time, and she could only find relief in screens. She did not become addicted, puberty subsided and her EF skills and emotional regulation went up, but it was a dark time for all of us. A lot of it was the stress of not being able to handle all the work, some of it was social anxiety, and a lot of it was hormones wreaking havoc when combined with the adhd. I have no advice, the only thing that worked for us was keeping communication open and now she's working on the anxiety and perfectionism (and is on adhd meds which have helped the most). She is finally able to compartmentalize unimportant things and prioritize the important things. But at 14? We were pretty desperate and I had almost zero relationship with her. I knew her door pretty well though.
  3. When we got Jousting Armadillos we got a whole sheath of papers with errata. Maybe there's one for C&C too?
  4. It was so hard for my daughter not to take rejections personally -- she felt like she had worked so hard throughout high school and the rejections made her feel she just didn't achieve enough. She was a little bitter even though she got into a fabulous school -- it just wasn't ever on the top of the list for her! (Berkeley, NYU and William and Mary were, all waitlist or rejections). So it took awhile for her to switch gears and be positive about a college that she actually didn't even envision herself going to:) I'm trying to remember to guide the next kids differently -- don't treat college acceptance like a validation of oneself and don't get attached to ANY college before acceptances. I will dial back any and all enthusiasm and help them focus on the fact that wherever they go, college will be about what they do with their time there, not what name is on the diploma.
  5. Are any of her brothers close in age? Mine are boy girl twins and gender isn't as much an issue as compatibility. They are each interested in very different things but they have to constantly compromise and take turns playing their top choice. So in the early years they would play a board game or two and then my son would promise to play with stuffed animals for 45 minutes. He sometimes got into it and sometimes looked INCREDIBLY board, but he knew that was the only way to get another board game!
  6. Thanks! I will pass this on. I told her to cut out dairy (she had been diagnosed as allergic to milk when she was little but supposedly outgrew it). She also gets worse when she swims, which is unfortunate since she loves swimming. I think the sugar would be a tough one, lol. This kid loves her food and I think it would be a big toss up between perpetual congestion and no sugar! She eats a LOT of bread too -- she is vegetarian and her go to lunch is usually an avocado sandwich or mushroom pizza. ***Sorry to derail!!!
  7. Is there anything that can be done to fix this? I have never heard of this, but my kid with adhd has small nasal passages, is constantly stuffed up, had sleep issues growing up, and definitely had mood issues. She is off and on allergy medicines but she came back negative for all allergies at the last skin prick test.
  8. My oldest got diagnosed with adhd as an adult. Her childhood was extremely difficult and unrewarding as my expectations for how my child should behave was NOTHING like the kid I had. Not to mention my sister had three absolutely perfect NT kids that never did anything wrong. Being around them always made me treat my own daughter differently, as if I JUST PARENTED HARDER I would finally have my kid turn into one of them. HA! Not a chance. The only thing that got me through? Well, she was never homeschooled for one, and I would never have been able to. Her extreme emotional dysregulation (and my own issues in reacting emotionally) caused all our interactions to be negative. Puberty was horrible for bot of us, but she had it worse -- she had a lot of anxiety and depression that neither of us understood. I wondered if I would ever like my kid -- we are talking 12 years of struggle. Now she calls every day, we are VERY close, and she works so hard at everything she does. She still has a hard time with just life skills, but she impresses all the adults she ever meets. Though they always end up saying "your daughter is brilliant but she would forget where she put her head if it weren't screwed on:) My younger kids are NT. I realize that with half the effort I have near perfect kids. It's so easy. I would have been so self-righteous about my skills as a parent if they were my only kids!
  9. My husband works in an academic position in the military, but many of his coworkers are civilian faculty. Some are there every day and get very little work done, some (like my husband), are in and out at strange hours but are constantly working. He might work nights, work in the morning from home and go in late, Sunday mornings very often he is working -- he likes flexibility and complains that he gets the least amount of work done AT work because people love to drop in and chat!
  10. I wear Keen sandals all summer and Uggs in the winter. The Keens have a very thick rubber sole. But if I stand for too long in the kitchen I still am in pain no matter what shoe I wear. Memory foam rugs in the kitchen help too.
  11. My daughter didn't really know where she wanted to go, so she applied very widely. She applied to only one college early action. She did the best at the out of state public universities that I suspect were starved for money. She got waitlisted at William and Mary and NYU, and accepted to smaller private schools like Brandeis and American (who offered money). She had a very high SAT score (1540), 11 or 12 AP's (mostly 5's) and a weighted GPA of 4.2 . -- just an example of why high stats don't translate to acceptances:) She had decent extracurriculars too, but nothing with real leadership and no awards or anything. Band member for four years, debate for two, internship for a summer.... If you need merit aid, you would want to target mid range private schools. Early Action doesn't really do much, early decision does. But it locks you in and makes it harder if you are depending on financial aid.
  12. ^This 1,000 times. My dd was in the top 75% for most of the schools she applied. She got waitlisted at ones she thought were a sure bet. They were all in the 20-30 percent acceptance range. There are so many other factors involved. One of the schools was relatively small and has a greater number of women apply than men, and she did not stand out at all. Another one I suspect had to do with money issues -- it gives very little aid and she had accidentally checked that she was seeking financial aid (we are using the GI bill). So I honestly suspect that went into the decision to waitlist. Or protecting their yield. So many variables!
  13. You can change the difficulty on Alcumus from easy to insanely hard. So my dd does from the book -Problems, then watches the videos, then exercises (usually skipping the starred problems!) and then works on previous Alcumus topics on the easy level. My son has usually kept the level on Normal or Hard. I am not sure how they compare as my son hasn't used them since he started online classes and my dd doesn't do the online classes and is in PreAlgebra. But my dd does really enjoy using it -- she does best when there is literally ONE problem on the screen. She just can't stop herself from counting all the problems she has been assigned and then spending five minutes feeling overwhelmed before she actually starts.
  14. I think it's up to personality too, honestly. I have two daughters and one son. My son is the only one who could get through Anne of Green Gables, one of my favorite books growing up. He adored the Penderwicks. But my daughters prefer swordfighting and dragons and hated Little Woman when I tried to get them to read it. I haven't offered it yet to my son, but he probably wouldn't mind it as much:) Just a long way of saying it's probably a little more about personality and preferences rather than gender. When I was in middle school gifted class I remember distinctly my gifted teacher asking how I could like Little Women as it is so preachy. And it really, really is.
  15. For my daughter, I have to create the spiral, otherwise she forgets what she has learned. I use Alcumus for this and review past topics. I realized this during Beast Academy when we'd progress a year and start the same topic (say, fraction) and she would have forgotten everything. She catches up quickly and every year with a little review it solidifies more, but adding in review really helps. We don't do the challenge problems. My son doesn't require review -- he is the traditional AOPS student and is thriving. I will be switching my daughter after Aops Algebra 1 bc she is not the traditional AOPS kid (and will probably be going to PS anyway)
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